Quote Investigator® – Page 71

Quote Origin: The Cat / Dog Is Always On the Wrong Side of the Door

T. S. Eliot? Ogden Nash? Kate Upson Clark? William Lyon Phelps? O. M. Gregor? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Some pets are constantly signaling a desire to enter or leave a domicile. Here are two pertinent expressions:

A cat is always on the wrong side of a door.
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

This notion has been attributed to the poets T. S. Eliot and Ogden Nash. Would you please help me to find citations and precise phrasings?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This saying can be phrased in many ways; thus, it is difficult to trace. The expression has been applied to individual animals and to classes of animals. The earliest match located by QI appeared in the “Manchester Weekly Times” of England in 1898 within an article about pets owned by royalty. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Cats cannot be picked up and carried from pillar to post, while dog’s rather enjoy change of scene. In fact, the pet dog is always on the wrong side of the door, and never happy unless he is either going out or coming in.

The journalist who wrote the text above was unidentified, and QI conjectures that he or she was repeating a remark that was already in circulation.

A 1939 poem by T. S. Eliot about a cat includes an instance of this statement. Ogden Nash included instances in two different poems in 1941 and 1953. Details for these citations are given further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Men the American People Admire Most Extravagantly Are the Most Daring Liars

H. L. Mencken? George Jean Nathan? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The famous curmudgeon H. L. Mencken asserted that the most daring liars were rewarded with public admiration. I do not recall the precise phrasing Mencken employed. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1922 “The Smart Set” magazine published a piece under the byline of H. L. Mencken and George Jean Nathan containing the following passage. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth. A Galileo could no more be elected President of the United States than he could be elected Pope of Rome.

The proper ascription to Mencken was clarified when the quotation appeared in his collections titled “Prejudices Fourth Series” and “A Mencken Chrestomathy”. The details are presented further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: No One Is More Dangerous Than He Who Imagines Himself Pure In Heart; For His Purity, By Definition, Is Unassailable

James Baldwin? Norman Mailer? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Individuals who consider themselves to be pure in heart are unable to recognize their own flaws. This can lead to wrong-headed and disastrous actions. The prominent novelist and essayist James Baldwin once made a comparable point about benighted self-assessment. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1961 James Baldwin published an essay in “Esquire” magazine that was sharply critical of fellow author Norman Mailer. Baldwin included the following cogent remark. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

No one is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart; for his purity, by definition, is unassailable.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: I’m Drunk, But I’ll Get Over That Soon. You’re a Fool and You’ll Never Get Over That

John Bent? Navy Sailor? Drunken Fellow? Winston Churchill? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The state of inebriation is temporary, but the state of stupidity is durable. A clever dialog hinges on this fundamental difference:

“You are drunk.”
“Yes, and you are a fool. But I will be sober in the morning, and you will remain a fool.”

Would you please explore the provenance of this thrust and parry?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This comical interaction is a member of a family of anecdotes which famously includes a story about Winston Churchill’s jousting with an antagonist. A separate QI article centered on the Churchill anecdote and tales from the U.K Parliament can be read by following this link.

This article will center on the earliest matches located by QI. In 1863 the “Urbana Union” newspaper of Urbana, Ohio published the following short item. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The drunken fellow’s reply to the reprimand of a temperance lecture, delivered in some of the stupid forms of that order of men is worth remembering. “I’m drunk-but-I’ll get over that pretty soon; but you’re a fool-and you’ll never get over that.”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Puritanism Is the Haunting Fear That Someone, Somewhere, May Be Happy

H. L. Mencken? George Jean Nathan? Nellie McClung? Beverly Gray? John Cleese? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Here are four versions of a mordant definition of puritanism:

The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
The lurking fear that someone somewhere is happy.
The gnawing worry that someone somewhere might be happy.
The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be having a good time.

This quip has been attributed to the prominent journalist Henry Louis Mencken. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In January 1925 “The American Mercury” published a collection of items under the title “Clinical Notes” by H. L. Mencken and George Jean Nathan. The following remark appeared as a freestanding item. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Puritanism.—The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

The proper ascription to Mencken was clarified when the quotation appeared in his 1949 collection “A Mencken Chrestomathy”. The details are presented further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: When We’re Growing Up There Are All Sorts of People Telling Us What To Do . . .

Ellen Page? Lisa O’Kelly? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: I once heard an insightful remark about growing up from the prize-winning Canadian actress Ellen Page. I do not remember the exact phrasing. Roughly, she said that young people are often told what to do when they should be given space to decide what to become. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 2010 “The Guardian” newspaper of London published an interview of Ellen Page conducted by journalist Lisa O’Kelly. Page discussed the plot of the 2009 film “Whip It” in which she played a beauty pageant queen trying to please her mother. Her character secretly rebelled by joining a roller derby league. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

It is more that she loves her mother and wants to please her and that becomes the strongest dilemma for her: how to establish a sense of self while still fulfilling her obligations to other people. I can identify with that. When we’re growing up there are all sorts of people telling us what to do when really what we need is space to work out who to be.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Once a Newspaper Touches a Story, the Facts Are Lost Forever, Even To the Protagonists

Norman Mailer? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: U.S. journalist and best-selling novelist Norman Mailer once sardonically stated that when newspapers focus on a story the facts are lost forever; inevitably, even the participants lose track of the facts. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In June 1960 “Esquire” magazine published comments from Norman Mailer inspired by a photo essay. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

It was a dull, hot, newsless day in summer, so it made the newspapers. All too inaccurately according to the Dealers. Ten vicious juvenile delinquents beat up a cripple, went the jazz. “Hell, man, it wasn’t like that at all,” one of them said, “it was a fair rumble.” We’ll never know. Once a newspaper touches a story, the facts are lost forever, even to the protagonists.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: I Think of Beauty as an Absolute Necessity

Toni Morrison? Claudia Brodsky Lacour? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The theme of beauty is pivotal within the novels written by Nobel laureate Toni Morrison. She once stated that beauty was an absolute necessity. Would you please help me to find a citation.

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 2019 “The Paris Review” published a podcast that included an audio recording of Toni Morrison delivering the quotation. The podcast included the following description of the source of the audio:¹

. . . excerpts from our interview with Toni Morrison conducted by Claudia Brodsky Lacour in Morrison’s office at Princeton University sometime in 1992.

The following inquiry and response occurred during the interview. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:²

Claudia Brodsky Lacour: Your novels are known for their extraordinary beauty. The beauty of their language and their inclusion of beauty as part of life. How do you handle beauty in fiction.

Toni Morrison: This is something that has preoccupied me for a long time. I think of beauty as an absolute necessity. I don’t think it’s a privilege or an indulgence, it’s not even a quest. I think it’s almost like knowledge, which is to say, it’s what we were born for.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: A Gorgeous Bird is the Pelican, Whose Beak Will Hold More Than His Bellican

C. M. Marshton? Dixon Lanier Merritt? Ogden Nash? Jeff McLemore? Bennett Cerf? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: A comical poem about the pelican uses a creative rhyming scheme with the word “pelican” matched to the invented words “belican” (belly can) and “helican” (hell he can). Would you please explore the provenance of this work?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest instance of this poem known to QI appeared in “The Tampa Morning Tribune” of Florida on April 2, 1913. The words were ascribed to C. M. Marshton. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

It has remained for one rhymer to produce one little “piece” that saves the season from utter mediocrity. This benefactor dwells in Chicago and he has written a classic–one which merits conspicuous publication in all the high-class literary journals. The author is C. M. Marshton, one of the editors of the Chicago Record-Herald, and the “poem” was written and sent by him to relatives who were spending the winter at St. Petersburg . . .

At the risk of infringing on a copyright, the Tribune prints the masterpiece of the Florida poetry season of 1912-13. Here it is:

A gorgeous bird is the pelican,
Whose beak will hold more than his bellican.
He can put in his beak
Food enough for a week.
But I’m d—- if I see how in hellecan.

C. M. Marshton is the leading candidate for creator of this poem based on current evidence.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Fashion Is Architecture: It Is a Matter of Proportions

Coco Chanel? Marcel Haedrich? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Did the famous fashion designer and style arbiter Coco Chanel say that “fashion Is architecture”? Would you please help me to find a citation showing the context?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Coco Chanel died in 1971, and in that same year Marcel Haedrich authored a biography in French titled “Coco Chanel Secrète”. The following year Haedrich’s work was translated by Charles Lam Markmann and published under the title “Coco Chanel: Her Life, Her Secrets”. A section called “She Said” printed a collection of remarks from Chanel including the following adage. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Fashion is architecture: it is a matter of proportions.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.