Don’t Like to Write, But Like Having Written

Dorothy Parker? George R. R. Martin? Frank Norris? Robert Louis Stevenson? Cornelia Otis Skinner? Clive Barnes? Jack Klugman? Gloria Steinem? Hedley Donovan? Dear Quote Investigator: Writing is an arduous task for many skilled authors. There is a popular family of sayings that contrasts the elation of accomplishment with the struggle of composition: 1) I hate …

This Is On Me

Dorothy Parker? William P. Rothwell? Soaker? Apocryphal? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The notable wit Dorothy Parker was also known as an imbiber. She would sometimes generously buy a round of drinks for her companions using the phrase: This is on me. Once when asked to create an epitaph for her tombstone she selected the expression …

Wherever She Went, Including Here, It Was Against Her Better Judgment

Dorothy Parker? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The notable wit Dorothy Parker was once asked to create an epitaph for her tombstone. Apparently, she crafted several different candidates for inscription over the years. I am interested in the following: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment. Did the coruscating Algonquin Round Table …

Excuse My Dust

Dorothy Parker? Hudson Six Owner? Alexander Woollcott? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The famous wit Dorothy Parker was once asked to create an epitaph for her tombstone. Apparently, she crafted several different candidates for inscription over the years: 1) Excuse My Dust 2) Here Lies the Body of Dorothy Parker. Thank God! 3) This Is On …

If You Can’t Say Something Good About Someone, Sit Right Here by Me

Dorothy Parker? Alice Roosevelt Longworth? Earl Wilson? Robert Harling? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The most trenchant comment pertaining to gossip that I have ever heard is often attributed to the wit Dorothy Parker. The quip is based on altering the following conventional instruction on etiquette: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say …

How Can They Tell?

Dorothy Parker? Wilson Mizner? Apocryphal? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Calvin Coolidge was the 30th President of the United States, and his highly reserved character in social settings led to the nickname “Silent Cal”. A few years after his death in 1933 two similar anecdotes began to circulate about the spoken reaction to the news of …

Written Without Fear and Without Research

Dorothy Parker? Carl L. Becker? Thomas Reed Powell? Charles A. Beard? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The famous wit Dorothy Parker wrote book reviews containing memorable zingers. When she examined a scientific volume she reportedly wrote the following: This work was written without fear and without research. I have not been able to determine when she …

The Only “Ism” in which Hollywood Believes Is Plagiarism

Dorothy Parker? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: From Fascism, Marxism, and Anarchism to Consumerism, Materialism, and Postmodernism the world has been infatuated by and convulsed by “isms”. The famous wit Dorothy Parker reportedly spoke the following line while she was writing screenplays in Hollywood: The only “ism” Hollywood really believes in is plagiarism. Did she really …

She Runs the Gamut of Human Emotion from A to B

Dorothy Parker? Katharine Hepburn? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: There is a famously severe criticism that was aimed at an inexpressive theater performer or movie star in the 1930s. Here are two prototypes: This performer ran the gamut of human emotion all the way from A to B. This thespian runs the gamut of emotions from …

He’s a Writer for the Ages—For the Ages of Four to Eight

Dorothy Parker? George Jean Nathan? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The trenchant prose of Dorothy Parker has always impressed me. Reportedly she once lacerated a writer who was receiving a superfluity of undeserved accolades with the following: He is a writer for the ages — the ages of four to eight. Is this Parker’s joke? When …