His Mother Should Have Thrown Him Away and Kept the Stork

Mae West? Jack Wagner? Joe E. Lewis? Charley Weaver? Cliff Arquette? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The Hollywood screen siren Mae West once verbally lacerated the villain of a movie by saying that when he was born his mother should have kept the stork and disposed of him. Would you please help me to determine the …

I’ve Been Poor, and I’ve Been Rich. Rich Is Better!

Fanny Brice? Beatrice Kaufman? Joe E. Lewis? Sophie Tucker? Johnny Hyde? Jack Herbert? Harold Gray? Bernice Fitz-Gibbon? Bob Mankoff? Dear Quote Investigator: A newly wealthy person sometimes feels sentimental about an earlier period of poverty. Yet, one well-heeled individual unapologetically proclaimed: I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor. And, believe me, rich is better. These …

Obscene and Not Heard

Groucho Marx? Ethel Barrymore? Maurice Barrymore? Paul M. Potter? Gertrude Battles Lane? John Lennon? Joe E. Lewis? Robert Heinlein? Marilyn Manson? Augustus John? Oscar Wilde? Dear Quote Investigator: There is well-known and often repeated admonition directed at young people who are making too much noise: Children should be seen and not heard. Wordplay has produced …

When I Read About the Evils of Smoking, I Gave Up Reading

Groucho Marx? Henry G. Strauss? Phil Harris? Joe E. Lewis? Anonymous? Topic: Smoking? Drinking? Dear Quote Investigator: There is a family of jokes about smoking, drinking, and reading. The quips certainly do not reflect the actions of role models, but they are funny: When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. …

You Only Live Once – YOLO

Drake? Schlitz Beer? Fritz Lang? Honoré de Balzac? Joe E. Lewis? Frank Sinatra? Fyodor Dostoevsky? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: In 2011 a song called “The Motto” by Drake was released, and it contained this expression: You only live once. The acronym YOLO was popularized by this song, I think. But I have heard the catch …