His Mother Should Have Thrown Him Away and Kept the Stork

Mae West? Jack Wagner? Joe E. Lewis? Charley Weaver? Cliff Arquette? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The Hollywood screen siren Mae West once verbally lacerated the villain of a movie by saying that when he was born his mother should have kept the stork and disposed of him. Would you please help me to determine the …

Sliding Down a Barrister

Dorothy Parker? Mae West? Alexander Woollcott? A. E. Mortimer? Mark Barron? Meyer Levin? Billy Boner? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The U.S. poet and wit Dorothy Parker has received credit for scandalous wordplay based on the following phrases: Sliding down a banister Sliding down a barrister Would you please explore this topic? Quote Investigator: The earliest …

You’re Never Too Old To Become Younger

Mae West? George Christy? Barbara Rowes? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: A prominent movie star delivered a paradoxical line about aging: You are never too old to become younger. Would you please help to find a citation? Quote Investigator: In 1969 Hollywood columnist George Christy interviewed the famous actress Mae West in the pages of “The …

When You Are Young, You Have the Face Your Parents Gave You. After You Are Forty, You Have the Face You Deserve

George Orwell? Coco Chanel? Mae West? Ingrid Bergman? Albert Camus? Abraham Lincoln? Edwin M. Stanton? Lucius E. Chittenden? Albert Schweitzer? Maurice Chevalier? William H. Seward? Edward Lee Hawk? William Shakspeare? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: A person’s true character can be deduced by the careful study of the face according to believers in physiognomy. This notion …

Say Anything You Like About Me, But Spell My Name Right

George M. Cohan? P. T. Barnum? Mae West? Elinor Glyn? Babe Ruth? Damon Runyon? James J. Johnston? Charley Murphy? Max Schmeling? Walter Winchell? Oscar Wilde? Samuel Johnson? Ed Sullivan? Dear Quote Investigator: A person once planned to write an article or book containing derogatory material about a celebrity. The unruffled response of the celebrity to …

Keep a Diary, and Perhaps Someday It Will Keep You

Mae West? Margot Asquith? Lillie Langtry? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The movie star, screenwriter, and sex symbol Mae West once spoke a humorous line about keeping a diary, but I do not recall the precise phrasing. She said a diary might provide the diarist with financial support in the future. Are you familiar with this …

Is That a Gun in Your Pocket, or Are You Just Glad to See Me?

Mae West? Aristophanes? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: Screenwriter and sex symbol Mae West is usually credited with the following ribald line: Is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? But I have seen many variations of this comical remark: Is that your pipe in your pocket or are …

I Used To Be Snow White, But I Drifted

Mae West? A College Student? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The actress, screenwriter, and sex symbol Mae West was well-known for delivering double entendres. Here are two examples of clever lines with multiple meanings: I was once pure as snow, but then I drifted. I used to be Snow White but I drifted. Did Mae West …