The Hurrier I Go, the Behinder I Get

Lewis Carroll? Charles L. Dodgson? Alice in Wonderland? White Rabbit? March Hare? Emmaleta Hicks? Gene Meihsner? Ed Sussdorff? Milton Berle? Truck Driver Named Bill? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: There is a family of statements about the difficulty of keeping up with a heavy workload. Here are four instances: The harder I work, the behinder I …

Live That You Wouldn’t Be Ashamed To Sell the Family Parrot To the Town Gossip

Will Rogers? Ray Thompson? Walter Winchell? Milton Berle? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: A talkative pet parrot can cause enormous embarrassment when it publicly recites phrases spoken in private. A comedian offered the following guidance: Live your life so you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell your family parrot to the town gossip. Popular entertainer Will Rogers …

The Fellow Who Thinks He Knows It All Is Especially Annoying To Those of Us Who Do

Isaac Asimov? Harold Coffin? Unitarian Church Bulletin? Robert Reisner? Joey Adams? Milton Berle? Robert K. Mueller? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Know-it-alls are eager to assert their expertise on all subjects. I love the following comical reaction to grandiose egotism: Those who believe they know everything are a great nuisance to those of us who do. …

The True Friend Walks In When Others Walk Out

Walter Winchell? Robert Hill? C. R. Durrant? William T. Ellis? Milton Berle? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: When you encounter difficulties some nominal friends will walk away from you, but your genuine friends will offer help and support. Here are two versions of an apposite adage: (1) The true friend walks in when others walk out. …

Laughter Is an Instant Vacation

Milton Berle? Bob Hope? Eugene P. Bertin? Connie Nelson? Robert Zwickey? Dale Turner? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The comedian Milton Berle was a major star for decades on radio and then on television. The following insightful adage has been attributed to him: Laughter is an instant vacation. I have also seen these words credited to …

I’ve Never Been Hired by a Poor Person

Robert Orben? Milton Berle? Ronald Reagan? Phil Gramm? Michael Dolan? Roger Ross? Sean Hannity? Arnold Schwarzenegger? Quote Investigator: Years ago I heard a quotation that was credited to Ronald Reagan about the creation of jobs. I do not remember the precise wording, but here are two versions that express the gist of the quote: No …