Category: Will Rogers

Joke Origin: To Double Your Money You Should Simply Fold Your Bills and Put Them in Your Pocket

Kin Hubbard? Will Rogers? Elbert Hubbard? Abe Martin? Max Eastman? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Proselytizers for get-rich-quick schemes are ubiquitous online. A popular joke describes a comically easy way to obtain illusory wealth. Here are two versions:

(1) To get rich you should convert your money to bills. Next, you should fold the bills, and you will double your money.

(2) The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

This joke has been attributed to two prominent U.S. humorists: Kin Hubbard and Will Rogers. I have not seen a solid citation. Would you please help?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This family of wordplay gags has a long history, but it is difficult to trace because the phrasing varies. The earliest match located by QI appeared in 1805 within “The Green Mountain Patriot” newspaper of Peacham, Vermont. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1805 December 31, The Green Mountain Patriot, Scraps, Quote Page 4, Column 1, Peacham, Vermont. (Newspapers_com)

A PUNSTER observing a person folding some bank bills, a few days since, remarked, ‘You must be in excellent business, for I see you double your money very easily.’

The 1805 punster remains anonymous. Frank McKinney Hubbard, best known as Kin Hubbard, employed the joke in 1908 many years after it had entered circulation. The attribution to Will Rogers is unsupported.

Additional details and citations are available in the article on the Medium platform which is located here.

Image Notes: Picture of a packet of folded bills from Nathan Dumlao at Unsplash. Image has been cropped.

Acknowledgement: Great thanks to John Henderson of the Project Wombats mailing list who posted a collection of sayings attributed to Will Rogers which included the quip explored in this article. Also, thanks to discussants Bill Davis, Pete McCallum, Donna L. Halper and John Cowan. Special thanks to researcher Barry Popik who previously explored this topic and located a 1910 instance from Kin Hubbard.

References

References
↑1 1805 December 31, The Green Mountain Patriot, Scraps, Quote Page 4, Column 1, Peacham, Vermont. (Newspapers_com)

If You Don’t Like Our Weather, Just Wait a Few Minutes

Mark Twain? Will Rogers? Ring Lardner? James A. Cruikshank? T. Morris Longstreth? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Two famous humorists, Mark Twain and Will Rogers, have each received credit for a statement about the variability of weather. Here are four instances:

(1) If you don’t like our weather, wait a minute.

(2) If you don’t like the weather in New England, just wait a few minutes.

(3) If you don’t like the Kansas weather today just wait a day and probably tomorrow will suit.

(4) If you don’t like the present brand of Nebraska weather just wait fifteen minutes and there will be a different kind of weather.

Did either Twain or Rogers really employ this expression? Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in “Field and Stream” magazine in January 1909 within an article by James A. Cruikshank who indicated that the saying was circulating in Chicago, Illinois with an anonymous attribution. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1]1909 January, Field and Stream, Volume 13, Number 9, Where To Go Hunting, Fishing & Resorts of The United States & Canada by Jas. A. Cruikshank, Start Page 794, Quote Page 794, Column 2, … Continue reading

In Chicago—where they have a saying “If you do not like our weather, wait a minute”—it seems to a good many of us that, after waiting several weeks of winter, we like the latest weather less than the earlier.

Researchers have been unable to find this saying in the writings and speeches of Mark Twain. He died in 1910, and the earliest known attribution to him appeared a decade later in 1920. Will Rogers died in 1935, and the saying was ascribed to him in 1940. Based on current evidence, the originator of this remark remains anonymous.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading If You Don’t Like Our Weather, Just Wait a Few Minutes

References

References
↑1 1909 January, Field and Stream, Volume 13, Number 9, Where To Go Hunting, Fishing & Resorts of The United States & Canada by Jas. A. Cruikshank, Start Page 794, Quote Page 794, Column 2, Field and Stream Publishing Company, New York. (Google Books Full View) link

Artist: The One Thing You Can Claim To Be and Nobody Can Prove You Ain’t

Will Rogers? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The evaluation of art is subjective. The popular U.S. humorist Will Rogers once said something like:

You can call yourself an artist because nobody can prove you ain’t.

Would you please help me to find a citation?

Quote Investigator: In 1926 Will Rogers published “Letters of a Self-Made Diplomat to His President” containing a collection of letters nominally addressed to U.S. President Calvin Coolidge. One letter discussed art. Rogers used the expression “Banana Oil”; the smoothness of this oil led to the metaphorical slang meaning of insincere nonsense. The term “maby” meant maybe. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1]1926, Letters of a Self-Made Diplomat to His President by Will Rogers, Volume 1, Letter addressed to Calvin Coolidge, Date: June 5, 1926, Location: Rome, Italy, Start Page 157, Quote Page 162, Albert … Continue reading

We know about 9-10ths of the stuff going on under the guise of Art is the Banana Oil. They call it Art to get to take off the clothes. When you ain’t nothing else, you are an Artist. It’s the one thing you can claim to be and nobody can prove you ain’t.

No matter how you built anything and how you painted anything, if it accidentally through lack of wars or rain happened to live a few hundreds of years, why its Art now. Maby when the Guy painted it at the time he never got another contract.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading Artist: The One Thing You Can Claim To Be and Nobody Can Prove You Ain’t

References

References
↑1 1926, Letters of a Self-Made Diplomat to His President by Will Rogers, Volume 1, Letter addressed to Calvin Coolidge, Date: June 5, 1926, Location: Rome, Italy, Start Page 157, Quote Page 162, Albert & Charles Boni, New York. (Google Books Full View) link

Thank Goodness We Don’t Get As Much Government As We Pay For

Will Rogers? Charles F. Kettering? Max Denney? Thomas Jefferson? Robert Heinlein? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Many complain about the burdensome taxes collected by some governments. Many also complain about the counter-productive and wasteful actions taken by those governments. These criticisms have been combined to produce the following comical remark:

Thank heavens we don’t get all the government we pay for.

This saying has been attributed to Charles F. Kettering who was the head of research at General Motors Corporation for many years. The quip has also been credited to the popular humorist Will Rogers. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: This quip is difficult to trace because its phrasing is highly variable. The earliest match located by QI appeared in a Fairbury, Nebraska newspaper in 1947. Local businessman Max Denney addressed a meeting of Rotarians and discussed government spending. He employed the joke but disclaimed credit. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1947 June 11, The Fairbury Daily News, Says Public Interest Answer To Worry Over Tax Burdens, Quote Page 1, Column 8, Fairbury, Nebraska. (Newspapers_com) .

The only bright spot in the cost of government Denney said, is one man’s observation that “Thank goodness we don’t get as much government as we pay for”

QI thinks that an anonymous jokesmith should receive credit for this saying based on current knowledge. Will Rogers died in 1935, and he received posthumous credit in 1966, but the long delay meant that this was very weak evidence.

Charles F. Kettering used the joke in 1949, but he disclaimed credit. See below. Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading Thank Goodness We Don’t Get As Much Government As We Pay For

References

References
↑1 1947 June 11, The Fairbury Daily News, Says Public Interest Answer To Worry Over Tax Burdens, Quote Page 1, Column 8, Fairbury, Nebraska. (Newspapers_com)

When the Okies Migrated To California, It Raised the I.Q. in Both States

Will Rogers? Robert Muldoon? Herbert L. Carver? Anthony S. Rogers? Harry Woodhead? Lynn T. White? Robert Ruark? Dewey F. Bartlett? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: There is a humorous remark about migration that initially seems a bit paradoxical. Here are two versions:

When the Okies left Oklahoma and moved to California, they raised the average intelligence level in both states.

When all those New Zealanders went to Australia, the average IQ in both countries was lifted considerably.

This phenomenon occurs when the migrating group have an average intelligence that is lower than the mean in the starting location and higher than the mean in the destination location.

U.S. humorist Will Rogers has received credit for the first statement, and New Zealand Prime Minister Robert Muldoon has received credit for the second. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: These two quips belong to an evolving family of expressions which is difficult to trace because of its variety. The earliest match located by QI appeared in 1939 within the “McComb Daily Journal” of Mississippi. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1939 April 6, McComb Daily Journal, The Jackson Go-Round by Herbert L. Carver, Quote Page 5, Column 5, McComb, Mississippi. (Newspapers_com)

Puzzle: You name the counties:
A man is said to have moved from one south Mississippi county to another, and when he did he raised the intelligence level of both counties.

The joke above referred to a single person moving instead of a group migrating, but the idea was the same. The jest appeared in a column by Herbert L. Carver.

Will Rogers died in 1935. He received credit for an instance in 1970. But this late citation provided only very weak evidence. Robert Muldoon received credit from an eyewitness in 1990. But this joke schema was already quite old in 1990.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading When the Okies Migrated To California, It Raised the I.Q. in Both States

References

References
↑1 1939 April 6, McComb Daily Journal, The Jackson Go-Round by Herbert L. Carver, Quote Page 5, Column 5, McComb, Mississippi. (Newspapers_com)

I Never Vote For Anybody. I Always Vote Against

W. C. Fields? Franklin P. Adams? H. L. Mencken? Richard Croker? Franklin D. Roosevelt? Will Rogers?

Dear Quote Investigator: There is a family of sardonic sayings about the behavior of voters. Here are three examples:

  • I never vote for anybody. I always vote against.
  • People vote against somebody rather than for somebody.
  • The people never vote for anything. They always vote against something.

This viewpoint has been attributed to popular columnist Franklin P. Adams, curmudgeonly commentator H. L. Mencken, and star comedian W. C. Fields. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in a Pennsylvanian newspaper in 1893. Richard Croker, a powerful New York City politician, applied the saying to a group of political activists. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1893 October 30, Harrisburg Telegraph, (Untitled filler item), Quote Page 2, Column 1, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. (Newspapers_com)

Boss Croker, of Tammany, defines a mugwump as a man who always votes against somebody and never votes for anybody. That’s a pretty clever description.

Franklin P. Adams used an instance of the saying in 1916, but he disclaimed credit for the expression. H. L. Mencken used an instance in 1925, but he also disclaimed credit. A version was ascribed to W. C. Fields in a 1949 biography. Detailed information appears further below.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading I Never Vote For Anybody. I Always Vote Against

References

References
↑1 1893 October 30, Harrisburg Telegraph, (Untitled filler item), Quote Page 2, Column 1, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. (Newspapers_com)

The Income Tax Has Made More Liars Out of the American People Than Golf Has

Will Rogers? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Some golfers are not particularly conscientious when counting the number of strokes required to complete a course. A humorist once pointed to another activity that challenges scruples:

The income tax has made liars out of more people than golf.

Do you know the precise phrasing of this quip and the name of the creator?

Quote Investigator: In April 1927 Will Rogers widely syndicated column discussed taxes in the United States. Boldface added to excerpt by QI:[1]1923 April 7, The Chattanooga News, Section: Magazine Section, Income Tax Has Made More Liars Out of the American People Than Golf: Helping Girls With Their Income Tax by Will Rogers, Quote Page 5, … Continue reading

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make one out on the level you don’t know when it’s through if you are a crook or a martyr.

Of course people are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading The Income Tax Has Made More Liars Out of the American People Than Golf Has

References

References
↑1 1923 April 7, The Chattanooga News, Section: Magazine Section, Income Tax Has Made More Liars Out of the American People Than Golf: Helping Girls With Their Income Tax by Will Rogers, Quote Page 5, Column 2, Chattanooga, Tennessee. (Newspapers_com)

Live That You Wouldn’t Be Ashamed To Sell the Family Parrot To the Town Gossip

Will Rogers? Ray Thompson? Walter Winchell? Milton Berle? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: A talkative pet parrot can cause enormous embarrassment when it publicly recites phrases spoken in private. A comedian offered the following guidance:

Live your life so you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell your family parrot to the town gossip.

Popular entertainer Will Rogers has often received credit for this remark, but I have been unable to find a citation. Would you please help?

Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in 1928 in a Meyersdale, Pennsylvania newspaper which acknowledged another periodical. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1928 July 12, Meyersdale Republic, (Filler item), Quote Page 6, Column 4, Meyersdale, Pennsylvania. (Newspapers_com)

So live that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.—Troy Times.

QI has not located the pertinent issue of “Troy Times”. Hence, the creator remains anonymous at this time. Will Rogers received credit for the joke by 1946; however, this long delay weakens the value of this attribution.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading Live That You Wouldn’t Be Ashamed To Sell the Family Parrot To the Town Gossip

References

References
↑1 1928 July 12, Meyersdale Republic, (Filler item), Quote Page 6, Column 4, Meyersdale, Pennsylvania. (Newspapers_com)

When You’re 60 You Realize No One Was Ever Thinking About You

Winston Churchill? Will Rogers? Jock Falkson? Ann Landers? Ewan McGregor? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: One’s sensitivity to the opinions of others often changes as one matures. The following statement has been attributed to statesman Winston Churchill:

When you’re 20 you care what everyone thinks, when you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks, when you’re 60 you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place.

I have been unable to find a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: QI has found no substantive support for the attribution to Winston Churchill. Historian and Churchill quotation expert Richard M. Langworth signaled his skepticism when he included the statement in an article titled “All the ‘Quotes’ Winston Churchill Never Said”.[1] Website: Richard M. Langworth, Title: All the “Quotes” Winston Churchill Never Said (1), Date on website: November 8, 2018, Sub-section: Caring What Others Think. (Accessed May 31, 2019) link

QI believes that the saying evolved over time, and famous humorist Will Rogers popularized an intriguing tripartite variant in the 1930s. See further below.

A thematic precursor was written by prominent lexicographer Samuel Johnson in 1751 who noted that most people were preoccupied with their own affairs. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[2] 1752, The Rambler, Issue date: 1751 September 24, Number 159, (Essay by Samuel Johnson), Quote Page 6, Printed by Sands, Murray, and Cochran, Edinburgh. (Google Books Full View) link

But the truth is, that no man is much regarded by the rest of the world, except where the interest of others is involved in his fortune. The common employments or pleasures of life, love or opposition, loss or gain, keep almost every mind in perpetual agitation. If any man would consider how little he dwells upon the condition of others, he would learn how little the attention of others is attracted by himself.

In August 1934 “The Minneapolis Star” of Minnesota printed an anonymous three-part saying based on the ages of 20, 30, and 40 instead of 20, 40, and 60. The attitudes expressed in the first two parts were flipped with respect to the target quotation. The attitude specified in the third part matched the target:[3] 1934 August 6, The Minneapolis Star, (Filler item), Quote Page 6, Column 1, Minneapolis, Minnesota. (Newspapers_com)

At 20 we don’t care what the world thinks of us; at 30 we worry about what it thinks of us; at 40 we discover it doesn’t think of us.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading When You’re 60 You Realize No One Was Ever Thinking About You

References

References
↑1 Website: Richard M. Langworth, Title: All the “Quotes” Winston Churchill Never Said (1), Date on website: November 8, 2018, Sub-section: Caring What Others Think. (Accessed May 31, 2019) link
↑2 1752, The Rambler, Issue date: 1751 September 24, Number 159, (Essay by Samuel Johnson), Quote Page 6, Printed by Sands, Murray, and Cochran, Edinburgh. (Google Books Full View) link
↑3 1934 August 6, The Minneapolis Star, (Filler item), Quote Page 6, Column 1, Minneapolis, Minnesota. (Newspapers_com)

People Are Taking Their Comedians Seriously, and Their Politicians as a Joke

Will Rogers? Ron Chernow? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The U.S. journalist and historian Ron Chernow spoke at the 2019 White House Correspondents’ Association annual dinner. He shared a quip attributed to humorist Will Rogers about the status reversal of comedians and politicians. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Quote Investigator: In November 1932 Will Rogers published the following remark in his widely-syndicated newspaper column. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1932 November 23, The Piqua Daily Call, Will Rogers says (McNaught Syndicate), Quote Page 1, Column 1, Piqua, Ohio. (Newspapers_com)

Everything is changing in America. People are taking their comedians seriously, and their politicians as a joke, when-it-used-to-be-vice-versa.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading People Are Taking Their Comedians Seriously, and Their Politicians as a Joke

References

References
↑1 1932 November 23, The Piqua Daily Call, Will Rogers says (McNaught Syndicate), Quote Page 1, Column 1, Piqua, Ohio. (Newspapers_com)