Joke Origin: To Double Your Money You Should Simply Fold Your Bills and Put Them in Your Pocket

Kin Hubbard? Will Rogers? Elbert Hubbard? Abe Martin? Max Eastman? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: Proselytizers for get-rich-quick schemes are ubiquitous online. A popular joke describes a comically easy way to obtain illusory wealth. Here are two versions: (1) To get rich you should convert your money to bills. Next, you should fold the bills, …

If You Don’t Like Our Weather, Just Wait a Few Minutes

Mark Twain? Will Rogers? Ring Lardner? James A. Cruikshank? T. Morris Longstreth? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Two famous humorists, Mark Twain and Will Rogers, have each received credit for a statement about the variability of weather. Here are four instances: (1) If you don’t like our weather, wait a minute. (2) If you don’t like …

Artist: The One Thing You Can Claim To Be and Nobody Can Prove You Ain’t

Will Rogers? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The evaluation of art is subjective. The popular U.S. humorist Will Rogers once said something like: You can call yourself an artist because nobody can prove you ain’t. Would you please help me to find a citation? Quote Investigator: In 1926 Will Rogers published “Letters of a Self-Made Diplomat …

Thank Goodness We Don’t Get As Much Government As We Pay For

Will Rogers? Charles F. Kettering? Max Denney? Thomas Jefferson? Robert Heinlein? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Many complain about the burdensome taxes collected by some governments. Many also complain about the counter-productive and wasteful actions taken by those governments. These criticisms have been combined to produce the following comical remark: Thank heavens we don’t get all …

When the Okies Migrated To California, It Raised the I.Q. in Both States

Will Rogers? Robert Muldoon? Herbert L. Carver? Anthony S. Rogers? Harry Woodhead? Lynn T. White? Robert Ruark? Dewey F. Bartlett? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: There is a humorous remark about migration that initially seems a bit paradoxical. Here are two versions: When the Okies left Oklahoma and moved to California, they raised the average intelligence …

I Never Vote For Anybody. I Always Vote Against

W. C. Fields? Franklin P. Adams? H. L. Mencken? Richard Croker? Franklin D. Roosevelt? Will Rogers? Dear Quote Investigator: There is a family of sardonic sayings about the behavior of voters. Here are three examples: I never vote for anybody. I always vote against. People vote against somebody rather than for somebody. The people never …

The Income Tax Has Made More Liars Out of the American People Than Golf Has

Will Rogers? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: Some golfers are not particularly conscientious when counting the number of strokes required to complete a course. A humorist once pointed to another activity that challenges scruples: The income tax has made liars out of more people than golf. Do you know the precise phrasing of this quip and …

Live That You Wouldn’t Be Ashamed To Sell the Family Parrot To the Town Gossip

Will Rogers? Ray Thompson? Walter Winchell? Milton Berle? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: A talkative pet parrot can cause enormous embarrassment when it publicly recites phrases spoken in private. A comedian offered the following guidance: Live your life so you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell your family parrot to the town gossip. Popular entertainer Will Rogers …

When You’re 60 You Realize No One Was Ever Thinking About You

Winston Churchill? Will Rogers? Jock Falkson? Ann Landers? Ewan McGregor? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: One’s sensitivity to the opinions of others often changes as one matures. The following statement has been attributed to statesman Winston Churchill: When you’re 20 you care what everyone thinks, when you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks, when you’re …

People Are Taking Their Comedians Seriously, and Their Politicians as a Joke

Will Rogers? Ron Chernow? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The U.S. journalist and historian Ron Chernow spoke at the 2019 White House Correspondents’ Association annual dinner. He shared a quip attributed to humorist Will Rogers about the status reversal of comedians and politicians. Would you please help me to find a citation? Quote Investigator: In November …