There Must Be a Pony Somewhere

James Kirkwood Jr.? Ronald Reagan? Ken Kesey? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: There is a famous joke about a child who wakes up on Christmas morning and is surprised to find a heap of horse manure under the tree instead of a collection of presents. Yet, the child is not discouraged because he has an extraordinarily …

You Cannot Fool All the People All the Time

Abraham Lincoln? Jacques Abbadie? Denis Diderot? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: One of the most famous sayings attributed to Abraham Lincoln is about deception: You can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time. I was astounded to …

A Ship in Harbor Is Safe, But that Is Not What Ships Are Built For

John A. Shedd? Grace Hopper? Albert Einstein? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: On December 9, 2013 the Google Doodle honored the pioneering computer scientist and U.S. Navy Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hopper. Here are two versions of a quotation that is often attributed to her: A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what …

“I Insured My Voice for $1,000,000.” “Wonderful! What Did You Do with the Money?”

Miriam Hopkins? Apocryphal? Dear Quote investigator: While watching the television show “The Voice” a friend told me about an entertaining zinger. One singer was trying to impress another singer by describing an insurance policy: Singer 1: “I Insured My Voice for One Million Dollars.” Singer 2: “Wonderful! What Did You Do with the Money?” A …

The Strength of the Sole Leather Has Passed into the Fibre of Your Body

Ralph Waldo Emerson? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The following quotation about the value of exercise is attributed to the transcendentalist philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson: When you have worn out your shoes, the strength of the shoe leather has passed into the fiber of your body. I searched for this expression in a database of writings …

If You Can’t Convince Them, Confuse Them

Harry Truman? A. C. Wilson? Adolf Hitler? Richard H. Leask? Anonymous? Dear Quote investigator: The following maxim is attributed to President Harry Truman: If you can’t convince them, confuse them Did Truman really say this? It seems inconsistent with his personality because he was often lauded for being plain spoken and not dissimulating. Quote Investigator: …

Television Is Chewing Gum for the Eyes

Frank Lloyd Wright? John Mason Brown? Henri Peyre? Fred Allen? Dick Cavett? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The most acerbic criticism I have heard directed at TV was attributed to the famous architect Frank Lloyd Wright: Television is just chewing gum for the eyes. However, I recently saw the remark credited to a drama critic named …

I Have Been Laid Up With Intentional Flu

Samuel Goldwyn? Ted Robinson? Nine-Year-Old in Cleveland Heights? Jake ‘Malaprop’ Mintz? Dear Quote Investigator: It is flu season, and when a co-worker called in sick recently a friend said that he probably had the “intentional flu”. I had never heard this wordplay on “intestinal flu” before, but my knowledgeable friend stated that this quip originated …

I Had to Get Up to Answer the Phone Anyway

Yogi Berra? Desi Arnaz? Carl Brandt? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The following anecdote is told about baseball great Yogi Berra. He received a telephone call very early in the morning, and the caller apologetically said, “I hope I didn’t wake you.” Yogi replied: Nah, I had to get up to answer the phone anyway. Is …

It’s Never Too Late To Be What You Might Have Been

George Eliot? Adelaide Anne Procter? Apocryphal? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: My favorite quotation about untapped potential and enduring spirit is attributed to the prominent Victorian novelist George Eliot: It is never too late to be what you might have been. This popular saying has been printed on refrigerator magnets, posters, shirts, and key chains. But …