There Are Three Rules for the Writing of a Novel

W. Somerset Maugham? Oscar Wilde? Mark Twain? Bret Harte? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: With the rapid growth of ebooks it seems that everyone is writing a book. Here is the funniest advice I have heard on this topic: There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. Several prominent …

It Is the Mark of a Truly Intelligent Person To Be Moved By Statistics

George Bernard Shaw? Bertrand Russell? Oscar Wilde? John H. Gibbons? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The following quotation is used by speakers who are planning to project a series of slides that are filled with statistics. The words are credited to the famous dramatist and intellectual George Bernard Shaw. Here are two versions: The sign of …

We Do Not Inherit the Earth from Our Ancestors; We Borrow It from Our Children

Amish Saying? Ralph Waldo Emerson? Native American Proverb? Wendell Berry? Oscar Wilde? Chief Seattle? Moses Henry Cass? Dennis J. Hall? Helen Caldicott? Lester Brown? David R. Brower? Taghi Farvar? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: In my opinion the most thoughtful and poignant quotation about the environment is the following: We do not inherit the earth from …

Never Put Off Till Tomorrow What You Can Do The Day After Tomorrow Just As Well

Mark Twain? Oscar Wilde? Josh Billings? Spanish Proverb? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Everyone is guilty of some procrastination.  Even the industrious humorist Mark Twain was credited with a quotation sympathetic to the indolent: Never put off till tomorrow, what you can do the day after tomorrow. Puzzlingly, this same quip has been ascribed to the …

I Have the Simplest Tastes; I Am Always Satisfied with the Best

Oscar Wilde? Edgar Saltus? Winston Churchill? Randolph Churchill? Lord Birkenhead? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: I have discovered two very similar quotations that are credited to two very different people. The first is ascribed to the legendary wit Oscar Wilde: I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best. The second saying is …

The One Who Follows the Crowd Will Usually Go No Further Than the Crowd

Albert Einstein? Eda LeShan? Alan Ashley-Pitt? Francis Phillip Wernig? Oscar Wilde? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The following quote has been credited to Albert Einstein and posted on Facebook and various websites: The one who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. Those who walk alone are likely to find themselves in …

Absinthe: After the First Glass, You See Things As You Wish They Were

Oscar Wilde? Ada Leverson? Leslie Stokes? Violet Wyndham? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The alcoholic psychoactive drink absinthe was banned in the United States and many European countries in the previous century. But now it is legal again. Supposedly, the brilliant wit Oscar Wilde once discussed the phantasmagorical effects of the potion. His description began: After …

America Is the Only Country That Went from Barbarism to Decadence Without Civilization In Between

Ogden Nash? George Bernard Shaw? James Agate? La Liberté? Winston Churchill? Henry James? Oscar Wilde? Georges Clemenceau? Dear Quote Investigator: There is a famous humorous saying about the United States that has been credited to four celebrated wits: George Bernard Shaw, Oscar Wilde, Winston Churchill, and Georges Clemenceau: America is the only country that went …

You Must Know Your Destination Port If You Wish to Catch A Favorable Wind

Oscar Wilde? Seneca the Younger? Leon Tec? Dear Quote Investigator: Recently, I came across a quotation in a pub in Germany that was credited to Oscar Wilde. Your help in tracing this expression would be greatly appreciated but there is a twist to this request that will probably increase the difficulty. I have not been …

I Feel Sure My “Woulds” And “Shoulds,” My “Wills” and “Shalls,” Are All Wrong

Oscar Wilde? Irishmen? Australian? Scot? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The prominent English actor and author Stephen Fry once said something about Oscar Wilde that I found fascinating: Oscar Wilde, and there have been few greater and more complete lords of language in the past thousand years, once included with a manuscript he was delivering to …