Quote Investigator® – Page 123

Quote Origin: Diplomacy Frequently Consists in Soothingly Saying “Nice Doggie” Until You Have a Chance to Pick Up a Rock

Will Rogers? Walter Trumbull? Franklin Rodman? Frances Rodman? Robert Phelps? Wynn Catlin? Harold Winkler? Robert Phelps?

Question for Quote Investigator: The reassuring words of a diplomat may sharply diverge from the true agenda of the envoy. The following metaphor depicts hidden hostility:

Diplomacy is the art of being able to say “nice doggie” until you have time to pick up a rock.

The popular humorist Will Rogers receives credit for this expression, but I do not think he made many jokes with this type of implied cruelty. Would you please explore the provenance of this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest strong match located by QI appeared in September 1925 in “The Honolulu Advertiser” of Hawaii. The saying occurred within a miscellaneous set of statements printed under the title “The Week in Epigram”. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

Diplomacy frequently consists in soothingly saying “Nice doggie” until you have a chance to pick up a rock—Walter Trumbull.

The name Walter Trumbull was ambiguous, but it probably referred to a sports writer for the North American Newspaper Alliance who also reprinted the quip in his column in 1931.

The attribution to Will Rogers occurred by the 1980s which was very late, and QI believes the linkage was spurious.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Liberty Don’t Work as Good in Practice as It Does in Speech

Will Rogers? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The popular American humorist Will Rogers once made a memorable remark about liberty. Unfortunately, the precise phrasing was not memorable enough. Here are several versions:

Liberty don’t work as good in practice as in speech.
Liberty don’t work as good in practice as it does in speech.
Liberty don’t work as good in practice as it does in speeches.
Liberty doesn’t work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
Liberty don’t work near as good in practice as it does in speeches.

Would you please help me to determine whether Will Rogers really delivered one of these lines?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1927 a collection of pieces by Will Rogers was published under the title “There’s Not a Bathing Suit in Russia & Other Bare Facts”. Rogers composed the following adage. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

Liberty don’t work as good in practice as it does in Speech.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Plays Are Not Written—They Are Rewritten

Steele MacKaye? Dion Boucicault? W. S. Gilbert? Sanford B. Hooker? David Belasco? Daniel Frohman? William M. Tanner? Walter Winchell? James Thurber? Michael Crichton?

Question for Quote Investigator: A magnificent work of art emerges in its final form like Venus from a scallop shell; no modifications are required according to one unrealistic approach to creativity. Numerous writers and composers strongly disagree and emphasize the need for painstaking refinement. A family of sayings highlights this process:

Great novels are not written, they are rewritten.
A stage play is not written but rewritten.
Good stories are not written but are re-written.
The secret of good writing is rewriting.

Would you please examine the provenance of this family?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In July 1889 the popular U.S. playwright and actor Steele MacKaye published in several newspapers a piece titled “How Plays Are Written: They Are the Product of Study and Patient Toil”. The first line presented his thesis. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

Plays are not written—they are rewritten.
In this lies the advantage of the creative, as distinct from the critical, literature of the stage.

By 1894 the saying had been reassigned to the Irish actor and playwright Dion Boucicault, and by 1903 W. S. Gilbert had been assigned a variant referring to comic operas. Yet, the earliest evidence currently points to Steele MacKaye as crafter of the statement.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: I Don’t Know, Probably Made My Usual C

Frederick W. Smith? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: During the holidays I often spot FedEx vehicles delivering packages. While the business is very successful today it faced considerable skepticism initially. According to company legend the founder Frederick W. Smith described his plans for creating the company in a paper when he was an undergraduate, but the professor who evaluated the idea deemed it infeasible and gave him a low grade. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 2004 a journalist at “BusinessWeek” (now “Bloomberg Businessweek”) asked Frederick W. Smith about this tale, and Smith expressed uncertainty. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

Q: Part of the lore of FedEx is that you wrote a term paper while a grad student at Yale that first explored the idea of an overnight-delivery service — and that you received a C from a skeptical professor. Was that term paper truly the genesis of FedEx?

A: The question is prescient because there wasn’t a single “eureka” moment. The original idea for FedEx came when I wrote a term paper as an undergraduate — not as a graduate student, because I never went to graduate school . . .

That was the paper, and the whole issue about the C on the grade, came from naivete on my part when I was talking to a reporter years and years ago, and he asked what I made. I said, “I don’t know, probably made my usual C.”

The “BusinessWeek” journalist attempted a second time to obtain a more definitive answer:

Q: So did you, or did you not make the infamous C on the term paper?

A: I don’t know. It was so long ago, even when that question was asked 20 years ago, I didn’t know. I’ve tried to correct it many times, and usually when a journalist like you listens to the story and realizes how complex the story is, you realize it would take your whole profile to explain it.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: In God We Trust; All Others Cash

Pennsylvanian Merchant? New York Merchant? Portland Merchant?

Question for Quote Investigator: Today credit cards are commonplace in the U.S., but in the past many shopkeepers hesitated to extend credit to customers. Occasionally, reluctant businesses displayed a humorous sign:

In God We Trust. All Others Pay Cash

The phrase “In God We Trust” has a long history. Its prominence grew when it appeared on the two-cent piece in 1864. The sign twisted this well-known expression. Would you please examine the history of this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest close match located by QI appeared in “The Philadelphia Inquirer” of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania on April 4, 1877:¹

Dull Times have driven many merchants to the cash system, and they are now ornamenting their stores with mottoes such as: “Pay to-day, trust to-morrow;” “If I trust, I bust;” “In God we trust; all others cash.”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Player Is Listed As Day-to-Day. Aren’t We all?

Vin Scully? Keith Olbermann? Dan Patrick? Satchel Paige?

Question for Quote Investigator: In the world of competitive sports an injured athlete often is placed on a list indicating that his or her health and readiness will be reevaluated each day. All of us can experience dramatic swings in well-being within twenty-four hours. One philosophical commentator stated:

The player is listed as day-to-day. Aren’t we all?

These words have been attributed to long-time Los Angeles Dodgers sportscaster Vin Scully, ESPN SportsCenter personality Keith Olbermann, and SportsCenter colleague Dan Patrick. Would you please explore its provenance?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence located by QI appeared in the “Los Angeles Times” on June 9th, 1991. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

Quotebook: Vin Scully, during Friday’s Cub-Dodger game: “Andre Dawson has a bruised knee and is listed as day-to-day. (Pause.) Aren’t we all?”

June 9th was Sunday; hence, the game occurred on Friday June 7th, 1991. The quotation was also reported in “The Sunday Star-Bulletin & Advertiser” of Honolulu, Hawaii.²

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: If Matches Had Been Invented After Lighters They’d Be the Sensation of the Twentieth Century

George S. Kaufman? Ray Bradbury? Charles Norris? Bennett Cerf? Malcolm Bradbury?

Question for Quote Investigator: A cigarette lighter is an impressive invention, but in some ways it is inferior to a simple match that is ignited by friction. A lighter requires fuel and a spark source; it can malfunction in myriad ways. The following point has been attributed to the prominent playwright George S. Kaufman and to the famous science fiction author Ray Bradbury:

If matches had been invented after the cigarette lighter, they would have been hailed as a huge advance.

A new gadget may supersede an old one despite serious drawbacks. Would you please trace the above expression?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest close match located by QI appeared in a long-running column called “Trade Winds” in “The Saturday Review”. The columnist, publisher, and anecdote collector Bennett Cerf relayed the following in 1944. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

In Dunhill’s, Charles Norris upset clerks by remarking, “If matches had been invented after your confounded lighters, can you imagine the excitement they would have caused?”

Dunhill sold expensive high-quality lighters. The name Charles Norris was ambiguous. It might have referred to the popular novelist Charles Gilman Norris.

Interestingly, the invention chronologies of the lighter and the match are complex because both devices required modifications and refinements to achieve practicality. Their developments overlapped.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Wordplay Origin: No Stone Unturned. No Tern Unstoned. No Stern Untoned

Ogden Nash? James Nelson Gowanloch? Frank Colby? Arthur Knight? Alfred Hitchcock? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The popular creator of light verse Ogden Nash once crafted a poem that playfully altered a common phrase describing a thorough search: “no stone unturned”. The comical transformation produced “no tern unstoned” and “no stern untoned”. Did Nash originate these two phrases?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1952 Ogden Nash published “The Private Dining Room and Other New Verses” which included a poem titled “Everybody’s Mind To Me a Kingdom Is or A Great Big Wonderful World It’s”. The following lines exhibited the wordplay. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

This I shall do because I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at sea birds I leave no tern unstoned,

I am a meticulous man, and when I portray baboons I leave no stern untoned,

Interestingly, both of these phrases were already in circulation as shown below.

Quote Origin: A Drama Critic Leaves No Turn Unstoned

George Bernard Shaw? Catholic Standard and Times? Ethel Watts Mumford? Oliver Herford? Addison Mizner? Arthur Wimperis? Colette d’Arville? Ogden Nash? Diana Rigg?

Question for Quote Investigator: The famous playwright George Bernard Shaw has been credited with a clever bit of wordplay concerning the role of a critic. The quip transforms the following venerable idiom describing a thorough search:

Leave no stone unturned

Shaw’s challenging plays sometimes received poor reviews, and according to legend he once responded:

A dramatic critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.

The word “turn” refers to the performance given by an individual on the stage. Would you please help me to trace this comical phrase?

Reply from Quote Investigator: George Bernard Shaw received credit for this expression from a journalist in London in 1930. See further below. Yet, no precise source was specified, and the joke had already been circulating for many years.

In 1899 the characters “Hi Tragerdy” and “Lowe Comerdy” exchanged lines about an unsuccessful vaudeville show encountering a hostile audience. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

“Your experience in vaudeville, then, was not very pleasant?” Hi Tragerdy was saying.
“No,” replied Lowe Comerdy; “at Oshkosh they threw rocks at each one of us as we came on for our acts.”
“Pretty severe way of showing their disapproval.”
“Yes; in their efforts to impress us with their utter disgust they left no turn unstoned.”-Standard and Catholic Times

The above item appeared in multiple periodicals such as “The Dallas Morning News” of Dallas, Texas; “The Daily Northwestern” of Oshkosh, Wisconsin;² “The Record-Union” of Sacramento, California;³ and “Puck” of New York City.⁴ The Texas newspaper acknowledged the “Standard and Catholic Times”. The other three acknowledged the “Catholic Standard and Times”.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: It Is Difficult to Get a Man to Understand Something When His Salary Depends Upon His Not Understanding It

Upton Sinclair? H. L. Mencken? William Jennings Bryan? C. E. M. Joad? Christopher Matthews? Paul Krugman? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Financial incentives can compromise the critical faculties of an individual. Here are four versions of this insight:

Never argue with a man whose job depends on not being convinced.
It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it.
It can be very hard to understand something, when misunderstanding it is essential to your paycheck.
It is rather pointless to argue with a man whose paycheck depends upon not knowing the right answer.

I think either muckraker Upton Sinclair or curmudgeon H. L. Mencken employed this expression. Would you please trace it?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Upton Sinclair ran for Governor of California in the 1930s, and the coverage he received from newspapers was unsympathetic. Yet, in 1934 some California papers published installments from his forthcoming book about the ill-fated campaign titled “I, Candidate for Governor, and How I Got Licked”. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

I used to say to our audiences: “It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it!”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.