The Question Is Not Where Civilization Began, But When Will It

Mohandas Gandhi? Dorothy Uris? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Archaeologists and historians have expended enormous efforts in tracing the origins of civilization. A trenchant humorist has said that scholars should not be trying to ascertain where civilization began; instead, they should be trying to guess when it will begin. Did Mahatma Gandhi say something like this? Would you please explore this quip?

Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in “The Baltimore Sun” of Maryland in 1925. A column titled “Sunbeams” contained five miscellaneous statements, and this was the first. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1925 December 14, The Baltimore Sun, Sunbeams, Quote Page 8, Column 3, Baltimore, Maryland. (Newspapers_com)

The question is not where civilization began, but when will it.

The article had no byline, so the ascription of the statements was anonymous. Many years later a thematically related saying was attributed to Mahatma Gandhi without solid evidence.

Below are additional selected citations and commentary.

Continue reading “The Question Is Not Where Civilization Began, But When Will It”

References

References
↑1 1925 December 14, The Baltimore Sun, Sunbeams, Quote Page 8, Column 3, Baltimore, Maryland. (Newspapers_com)

When a Distinguished But Elderly Scientist States that Something Is Possible, He Is Almost Certainly Right . . .

Arthur C. Clarke? Isaac Asimov? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The famous science fiction author Arthur C. Clarke believed that proclamations of impossibility were too readily dispensed by blinkered elderly scientists. Would you please help me to find a citation for Clarke’s First Law?

Quote Investigator: In 1962 Arthur C. Clarke published a forward-looking book filled with predictions titled “Profiles of the Future”. The second chapter discussed the failure of imagination that lead to some deeply flawed prognostications. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1972 (First publication 1962), Profiles of the Future by Arthur C. Clarke, Chapter 2: Hazards of Prophecy: The Failure of Imagination, Quote Page 14, Bantam Books, New York. (Verified with scans)

Too great a burden of knowledge can clog the wheels of imagination; I have tried to embody this fact of observation in Clarke’s Law, which may be formulated as follows:

When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.

Clarke further suggested that in the domains of physics, mathematics, and astronautics elderly meant over the age of thirty. In other areas of science the label of elderly may postponed into the forties. Clarke also admitted that there were glorious exceptions to his rather harsh ageism.

Continue reading “When a Distinguished But Elderly Scientist States that Something Is Possible, He Is Almost Certainly Right . . .”

References

References
↑1 1972 (First publication 1962), Profiles of the Future by Arthur C. Clarke, Chapter 2: Hazards of Prophecy: The Failure of Imagination, Quote Page 14, Bantam Books, New York. (Verified with scans)

Anyone Who Expects a Source of Power from the Transformation of These Atoms Is Talking Moonshine

Ernest Rutherford? Robert Millikan? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The experimental physicist Ernest Rutherford won a Nobel Prize for his pioneering work on radiation. Later his research group at the Cavendish Laboratory of the University of Cambridge split the nucleus of an atom in a controlled manner. Yet, he doubted that atomic physics would produce a practical source of power, and he referred to such speculations as “talking moonshine”, i.e., talking foolishly. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Quote Investigator: “The New York Times” printed an article with a dateline of September 11, 1933 that included a quotation from Lord Ernest Rutherford who was addressing a meeting of the British Association for the Advancement of Science. The scientist’s words were carefully hedged. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1933 September 12, New York Times, Rutherford Cools Atom Energy Hope by Waldemar Kaempffert (Special Cable to The New York Times; Dateline September 11), Quote Page 1, Column 6, New York. (ProQuest)

“Any one who says that with the means at present at our disposal and with our present knowledge we can utilize atomic energy is talking moonshine,” was the dictum of the famous head of the Cavendish Laboratory.

An article from the widely distributed Associated Press news service with the same dateline presented a different and more emphatic quotation:[2] 1933 September 11, The Lincoln Evening Journal (Lincoln Journal Star), Little Energy From Atom (Associated Press), Quote Page 2, Column 2, Lincoln, Nebraska. (Newspapers_com)

Lord Rutherford discredited the theory that that immense power could be derived from the breakdown of the atom. “Energy produced by the breaking down of the atom is a very poor kind of thing,” he said before the British association for the advancement of science. “Anyone who expects a source of power from the transformation of these atoms is talking moonshine.”

QI does not know which of these two quotations is accurate. It is conceivable that he made both remarks at different times during his presentation. Yet, there is a third version which is given below; hence, uncertainty about his words seems to be unavoidable.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Anyone Who Expects a Source of Power from the Transformation of These Atoms Is Talking Moonshine”

References

References
↑1 1933 September 12, New York Times, Rutherford Cools Atom Energy Hope by Waldemar Kaempffert (Special Cable to The New York Times; Dateline September 11), Quote Page 1, Column 6, New York. (ProQuest)
↑2 1933 September 11, The Lincoln Evening Journal (Lincoln Journal Star), Little Energy From Atom (Associated Press), Quote Page 2, Column 2, Lincoln, Nebraska. (Newspapers_com)

The Mark of the Immature Man Is That He Wants To Die Nobly for a Cause, While the Mark of the Mature Man Is That He Wants To Live Humbly for One

J. D. Salinger? Wilhelm Stekel? Otto Ludwig? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: “The Catcher in the Rye” by J. D. Salinger is a popular work embodying adolescent angst and confusion. During one scene a teacher of the protagonist Holden Caulfield gives him a remarkable quotation ascribed to a psychoanalyst named Wilhelm Stekel. Has anyone attempted to trace this quotation?

Quote Investigator: The provenance of the quotation remained mysterious for decades. In 2013 retired Professor of English Peter G. Beidler published “The Sources of the Stekel Quotation in Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye” in “ANQ: A Quarterly Journal of Short Articles, Notes and Reviews”.[1]2013, ANQ: A Quarterly Journal of Short Articles, Notes and Reviews, Volume 26, Issue 2: Twentieth-Century American Literature, Article: The Sources of the Stekel Quotation in Salinger’s The … Continue reading Beidler found a match for the quotation written in German by the dramatist and novelist Otto Ludwig. Many years after the statement was crafted, the Austrian psychologist Wilhelm Stekel quoted the words while crediting Ludwig. Salinger’s novel contained a rephrased instance of Ludwig’s statement credited to Stekel.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “The Mark of the Immature Man Is That He Wants To Die Nobly for a Cause, While the Mark of the Mature Man Is That He Wants To Live Humbly for One”

References

References
↑1 2013, ANQ: A Quarterly Journal of Short Articles, Notes and Reviews, Volume 26, Issue 2: Twentieth-Century American Literature, Article: The Sources of the Stekel Quotation in Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye, Author: Peter G. Beidler, Start Page 71, End Page 75, Publisher: Routledge: Taylor & Francis Group. (Accessed online at tandfonline.com) link

“Coffee Is a Slow Poison” “Slow It Must Be Indeed for I Have Sipped It for Seventy-Five Years”

Voltaire? Bernard Le Bovier de Fontenelle? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Coffee enthusiasts enjoy sharing an anecdote about Voltaire who savored the aromatic beverage throughout his life. The famous philosopher’s physician warned him that coffee was a slow poison. He replied, “Yes, it is a remarkably slow poison. I have been drinking it every day for more than seventy-five years”.

Curiously, the same humorous tale has been told about the erudite and witty Frenchman Bernard Le Bovier de Fontenelle although the number of years mentioned was even larger. It seems unlikely that both stories are genuine. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: Bernard Le Bovier de Fontenelle died in 1757. Voltaire (pen name of François-Marie Arouet) died in 1778.

This anecdote is difficult to trace because its expression is highly variable. The earliest match located by QI occurred in 1780 after both gentlemen were dead within a French almanac titled “Almanach Littéraire ou Étrennes d’Apollon”. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1780, Title: Almanach Littéraire ou Étrennes d’Apollon, Section: Anecdotes Variées, Quote Page 22, Publisher: La Veuve Duchesne, Paris, France. (Google Books Full View; also Gallica) link

Un Médecin soutenait à Fontenelle que le caffé était un poison lent. “Oui-dà, dit le Philosophe en souriant, il y a plus de quatre vingt ans que j’en prends tous les jours. Voilà ce qu’on appelle une preuve sans réplique”.

Here is one possible rendering into English:

A doctor told Fontenelle that coffee was a slow poison. “Yes,” said the philosopher, smiling, “I have been taking it every day for more than eighty years.” This is what is called an unanswerable proof.

Fontenelle received credit for the comical reply, but the long gap after his death reduced the credibility of the ascription. Perhaps future researchers will discover earlier evidence.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading ““Coffee Is a Slow Poison” “Slow It Must Be Indeed for I Have Sipped It for Seventy-Five Years””

References

References
↑1 1780, Title: Almanach Littéraire ou Étrennes d’Apollon, Section: Anecdotes Variées, Quote Page 22, Publisher: La Veuve Duchesne, Paris, France. (Google Books Full View; also Gallica) link

There Are Hopes the Bloom of Whose Beauty Would Be Spoiled by the Trammels of Description

Charles Dickens? Ellen Pickering? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: The famous English writer Charles Dickens has received credit for a high-flown expression that compares a person’s hopes to a beautiful bloom that should not be spoiled. I have been unable to find this saying in any of his novels, and I have begun to doubt that he crafted it. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: In 1836 the popular English novelist Ellen Pickering published “The Merchant’s Daughter”. Within the book two characters, Lord Clanellon and Florence Lyle, engage in a complex layered dialog. The statement below from Clanellon suggests that he loves Lyle, but he hopes that she will signal her reciprocal feelings before he confirms his love. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1836, The Merchant’s Daughter by Ellen Pickering, Volume 1 of 3, Chapter 9, Quote Page 298, Richard Bentley, London, England. (HathiTrust) link

“There are hopes the bloom of whose beauty would be spoiled by the trammels of description: too lovely, too delicate, too sacred for words, they should be only known through the sympathy of hearts!”

Florence looked silent amaze, though a faint glow came on her cheek, perhaps from his fixed gaze and a flickering consciousness.

Clanellon resumed.

“You do not ask me to explain this hope;—may I not then indulge in the delightful flattery that you understand it without words? that you feel it without explanation? that a sympathy with that hope has revealed its meaning?”

Eventually, Lyle makes clear that Clanellon’s amorous feelings would be unwelcome, and he pivots by indicating that he is not feeling love. Instead, he is simply experiencing happiness and hope; he knows she is also in a wild happy mood:

“I too felt in that same light and happy mood, and that to ask the cause of such a mood would be to mar its beauty.”

The first statement above written by Ellen Pickering has incorrectly been reassigned to Charles Dickens for many years. QI is uncertain how this reassignment occurred, but the discussion accompanying the 1884 citation given further below presents one speculation.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “There Are Hopes the Bloom of Whose Beauty Would Be Spoiled by the Trammels of Description”

References

References
↑1 1836, The Merchant’s Daughter by Ellen Pickering, Volume 1 of 3, Chapter 9, Quote Page 298, Richard Bentley, London, England. (HathiTrust) link

It Ain’t What You Don’t Know That Gets You Into Trouble. It’s What You Know for Sure That Just Ain’t So

Mark Twain? Josh Billings? Artemus Ward? Kin Hubbard? Will Rogers? Edwin Howard Armstrong? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: The Oscar-winning 2015 film “The Big Short” begins with a display of the following statement:

It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.

The brilliant humorist Mark Twain receives credit, but I have been unable to find a solid citation. This quip is very popular. Would you please investigate?

Quote Investigator: Scholars at the Center for Mark Twain Studies of Elmira College have found no substantive evidence supporting the ascription to Mark Twain.[1]Website: Center for Mark Twain Studies, Article title: The Apocryphal Twain: “Things We Know That Just Ain’t So.”, Article author: Matt Seybold, Date on website: October 6, 2016, … Continue reading

The observation has been attributed to several other prominent humorists including: Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw), Artemus Ward (pseudonym of Charles Farrar Browne), Kin Hubbard (pen name of Frank McKinney Hubbard), and Will Rogers. Yet, it is unlikely then any of them said it. The creator remains anonymous based on current evidence.

The saying is difficult to trace because it falls within an evolving family of remarks concerning faulty knowledge and memory. Three processes operate on members of the family to generate new members and ascriptions incrementally:

  1. Statements are rephrased over time.
  2. Statements are hybridized together to produce new statements.
  3. Attributions are shifted from one prominent humorist to another.

The family contains some comments with genuine ascriptions. For example, in 1874 a compendium of wit and humor from Josh Billings was published. The work employed dialectal spelling which causes headaches for modern researchers who are attempting to find matches using standard spelling. The following pertinent item appeared in a section labeled “Affurisms”, i.e., “Aphorisms”. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[2]1874, Everybody’s Friend, Or; Josh Billing’s Encyclopedia and Proverbial Philosophy of Wit and Humor, Section: Affurisms: Sollum Thoughts, Quote Page 286, American Publishing Company, Hartford, … Continue reading

I honestly beleave it iz better tew know nothing than two know what ain’t so.

Here is the statement written with standard spelling:

I honestly believe it is better to know nothing than to know what ain’t so.

This remark partially matched the saying under investigation, and it acted as a seed in the evolving family of remarks.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “It Ain’t What You Don’t Know That Gets You Into Trouble. It’s What You Know for Sure That Just Ain’t So”

References

References
↑1 Website: Center for Mark Twain Studies, Article title: The Apocryphal Twain: “Things We Know That Just Ain’t So.”, Article author: Matt Seybold, Date on website: October 6, 2016, Website description: Center dedicated to fostering and supporting scholarship and pedagogy related to all aspects of Mark Twain based at Elmira College in Elmira, New York. (Accessed marktwainstudies.com on November 18, 2018) link
↑2 1874, Everybody’s Friend, Or; Josh Billing’s Encyclopedia and Proverbial Philosophy of Wit and Humor, Section: Affurisms: Sollum Thoughts, Quote Page 286, American Publishing Company, Hartford, Connecticut. (Google Books Full View) link

How Many People Here Tonight Are Telekinetic? Raise My Hand

Steven Wright? Kurt Vonnegut? Emo Philips? Rich Siegel? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: A speaker will typically ask audience members to raise their hands to signal an affirmative answer to a question. A humorist constructed a funny remark based on a transformation of this scenario:

If you believe in psychokinetic powers, please raise my hand.

This line has been attributed to Steven Wright, Kurt Vonnegut, and Emo Philips. Would you please explore its provenance?

Quote Investigator: The earliest match known to QI appeared in an article about surrealist comedian Emo Philips published in the “Birmingham Post-Herald” of Alabama in November 1985. Journalist Pamela Morse visited with Philips at The Comedy Club in Homewood, Alabama, and she recounted some of his jokes. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1985 November 15, Birmingham Post-Herald, Section: Kudzu Magazine, Emo Philips is, well, different by Pamela Morse (Kudzu Reporter), Quote Page 10, Column 1, Birmingham, Alabama. (Newspapers_com)

“At a party people often ask each other, ‘Where were you when Kennedy was shot?’ … I don’t have an alibi.”
…
Emo’s comedy has been called intellectual. He’d rather just call it funny. “How many people here have telekinetic powers? … Raise my hand!”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “How Many People Here Tonight Are Telekinetic? Raise My Hand”

References

References
↑1 1985 November 15, Birmingham Post-Herald, Section: Kudzu Magazine, Emo Philips is, well, different by Pamela Morse (Kudzu Reporter), Quote Page 10, Column 1, Birmingham, Alabama. (Newspapers_com)

“Does It Hurt?” “Only When I Laugh”

Philip Gosse? John Bishop? Leonard Lyons? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: A family of popular comical anecdotes conforms to the following template. An individual suffers a grievous injury such as a spear through the chest. A companion asks about his or her status, and the reply is absurdly understated:

“Does it hurt?”
“Only when I laugh.”

Would you please explore the provenance of this tale?

Quote Investigator: The earliest strong match known to QI appeared in the 1934 book “Memoirs of a Camp-Follower” by Philip Gosse who served in the Royal Army Medical Corps during World War I. After an intense battle using bombs and bayonets, Gosse encountered a seriously injured soldier who was covered with mud and soaked with rain and blood. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1934, Memoirs of a Camp-Follower by Philip Gosse, Chapter 2: We Go South, Quote Page 72 and 73, Longman’s, Green and Company. London, England. (Internet Archive at archive.org) link

While I was gently examining his wound I asked him, more for the sake of something to say than anything else, if it hurt him very much. His answer, which I shall never forget, was “No Sir, only when I laugh.”

I am glad to say little John Bishop surprised us all by surviving a long and dangerous operation and eventually recovered.

This exchange was presented as non-fiction, and the line downplaying pain was spoken to Gosse by Bishop who was a member of the London Irish Rifles regiment of the British Army.

Thanks to top-flight researcher Peter Reitan who located the above citation.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading ““Does It Hurt?” “Only When I Laugh””

References

References
↑1 1934, Memoirs of a Camp-Follower by Philip Gosse, Chapter 2: We Go South, Quote Page 72 and 73, Longman’s, Green and Company. London, England. (Internet Archive at archive.org) link

Good Is Better than Evil Because It’s Nicer

Al Capp? Li’l Abner Yokum? Mammy Yokum?

Dear Quote Investigator: The comic strip “Li’l Abner” created by Al Capp achieved great popularity in the 1940s and 1950s. The setting was the fictional village of Dogpatch in the Southern United States. Al Capp employed an exaggerated Southern dialect which he spelled phonetically. Teenager Li’l Abner Yokum was the primary character, and his forceful mother was called Mammy Yokum. A homespun motto within the strip contended that good would prevail over evil because it was nicer. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Quote Investigator: The saying appeared in the strip published on March 2, 1950. Li’l Abner was attacked during a battle by an opponent who stared at him malevolently, i.e., employed the “evil eye”. Abner fought back by returning the stare with the “good eye”. The first line below was expressed by Li’l Abner, and the second line was spoken by Mammy Yokum during a flashback scene. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[1]1950 March 2, The Taylor Daily Press, Comic Strip: Li’l Abner by Al Capp, (First line is spoken by the character Li’l Abner; the second line is spoken by the character Mammy Yokum within … Continue reading

AH IS G-GITTIN’ TH’ EVIL EYE—BUT GOOD!! WHUT WAS IT MAH MAMMY DONE TOLE ME?

SON!! TH’ ONLY WAY YO’ KIN LICK TH’ EVIL EYE IS WIF TH’ GOOD EYE!! GOOD IS BETTER THAN EVIL, BECAUSE IT’S NICER!!

Here is a version using standard spelling:

Ah is getting the evil eye—but good!! What was it my Mammy done told me?

Son!! The only way you can lick the evil eye is with the good eye!! Good is better than evil, because it’s nicer!!

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Good Is Better than Evil Because It’s Nicer”

References

References
↑1 1950 March 2, The Taylor Daily Press, Comic Strip: Li’l Abner by Al Capp, (First line is spoken by the character Li’l Abner; the second line is spoken by the character Mammy Yokum within the memory bubble of Li’l Abner), Quote Page 9, Column 5, Taylor, Texas. (Newspapers_com) link