As Years Come In and Years Go Out, I Totter Toward the Tomb

Dorothy L. Sayers? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Gossip mongers are obsessed with identifying and publicizing the latest carnal pairings of celebrities. The acclaimed mystery writer Dorothy L. Sayers composed a short poem expressing disinterest in this subject, and I have seen two distinct versions of her humorous four lines. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence located by QI appeared in a letter written by Dorothy L. Sayers in 1953. She was responding to John Betjeman who inquired about the poem. Sayers recognized that different versions were circulating, and she presented the following text as genuine:[1]2000 Copyright, The Letters of Dorothy L. Sayers: Volume Four: 1951-1957: In the Midst of Life by Dorothy L. Sayers (Dorothy Leigh Sayers), Chosen and Edited by Barbara Reynolds, Letter from Dorothy … Continue reading

As years come in and years go out
I totter toward the tomb,
Still caring less and less about
Who goes to bed with whom.

Sayers highlighted the rhyme between the first and third lines, and said that the “alliteration in the second line lends, I feel, a kind of rickety dignity to the whole”. The third and fourth lines are spoken together without a pause; referred to as enjambment in poetry. Sayers commented that the rhyme and flow “seem to usher in the final pronouncement with a more breathless solemnity.”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “As Years Come In and Years Go Out, I Totter Toward the Tomb”

References

References
↑1 2000 Copyright, The Letters of Dorothy L. Sayers: Volume Four: 1951-1957: In the Midst of Life by Dorothy L. Sayers (Dorothy Leigh Sayers), Chosen and Edited by Barbara Reynolds, Letter from Dorothy L. Sayers to John Betjeman, Letter dated February 2, 1953, Quote Page 80, Published by The Dorothy L. Sayers Society, Carole Green Publishing, Cambridge, England. (Verified with scans from Wheaton College, Buswell Library)

Writing Well Is the Best Revenge

Dorothy Parker? Susan Sontag? Alix Nelson? Ross Macdonald? Kenneth Millar? Tom Samet? Edmund Wilson? Anne Ruggles Gere? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Yesterday, while reading an acerbic episode within a stylish memoir I recalled the following adage:

Writing well is the best revenge.

These words are often credited to the famous wit Dorothy Parker, but I am skeptical because I have never seen a good citation. Would you please examine this topic?

Quote Investigator: Dorothy Parker died in 1967, and QI has not yet found any substantive evidence that she employed this saying. QI has found instances in 1976, but that is a surprisingly late date. Perhaps future researchers will build on this research and locate earlier occurrences.

In August 1976 Alix Nelson, a New York-based journalist and copywriter, published a book review in “The New York Times”. One of the book’s primary characters was portrayed very harshly, and Nelson likened that figure to Alexander Portnoy who was the lead in an influential work published seven years prior titled “Portnoy’s Complaint” by Philip Roth. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1976 August 8, New York Times, Section: New York Times Book Review, The Girl That He Marries by Alix Nelson, Start Page 10, Quote Page 10, Column 5, New York. (ProQuest)

Never has an ordinary man been rendered with such glee. For those of us who’ve been waiting around for Alexander Portnoy to get his, author Rhoda Lerman here “hulls him from the belly button like an overripe strawberry” to prove that writing well is the best revenge.

The other early instance was from the pen of the famous mystery writer Ross Macdonald (pseudonym of Kenneth Millar) who in 1976 wrote the expression in a book dedication for fellow mystery writer William Campbell Gault. The inscription was mentioned in a profile article about Gault published in the “Los Angeles Times” in 1984:[2]1984 December 14, Los Angeles Times, An Author From the Old School: For This Writer, There’s No Mystery About What Sells by David Wilson, Quote Page 14, Column 1, Los Angeles, California. … Continue reading

In 1976, Ross MacDonald dedicated his last book, “The Blue Hammer,” to him, writing in his copy: “To Bill Gault, who knows that writing well is the best revenge.”

The article by David Wilson containing the words above also included many quotations from Gault and a description of the interior of his home; hence, QI believes Wilson visited Gault’s home and directly inspected the book’s dedication.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Writing Well Is the Best Revenge”

References

References
↑1 1976 August 8, New York Times, Section: New York Times Book Review, The Girl That He Marries by Alix Nelson, Start Page 10, Quote Page 10, Column 5, New York. (ProQuest)
↑2 1984 December 14, Los Angeles Times, An Author From the Old School: For This Writer, There’s No Mystery About What Sells by David Wilson, Quote Page 14, Column 1, Los Angeles, California. (ProQuest)

Born with a Silver Foot in His or Her Mouth

Speaker: George Dixon? Ann Richards? Vito Marcantonio? Oliver Herford?

Target: Harold Ickes? George H. W. Bush? Newbold Morris? Jones?

Dear Quote Investigator: A person who is born into a wealthy and successful family is “born with a silver spoon in his or her mouth” according to a longstanding idiom. There is a funny variant that applies to a gaffe-prone person:

Born with a silver foot in his or her mouth.

Would you please explore who crafted this barb, and who was targeted?

Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI occurred in the syndicated column of George Dixon in November 1944. Dixon aimed his criticism at Harold Ickes, the U.S. Secretary of the Interior, who helped to implement President Franklin D. Roosevelt’s ‘New Deal’ policies. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1944 November 10, Evening Herald (Republican and Herald), Washington Scene by George Dixon, Quote Page 2, Column 4, Shenandoah, Pennsylvania. (Newspapers_com)

Suppose Ickes was gone? What would I do on dull days? I’d have to scurry around and do some work, that’s what I’d have to do.

But, the way things transpired, I will always have him on tap when I need him. And he never fails. If ever a man was born with a silver foot in his mouth, it was old Harold.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Born with a Silver Foot in His or Her Mouth”

References

References
↑1 1944 November 10, Evening Herald (Republican and Herald), Washington Scene by George Dixon, Quote Page 2, Column 4, Shenandoah, Pennsylvania. (Newspapers_com)

This World Is the Lunatic Asylum of the Universe

Mark Twain? Thomas Jefferson? Voltaire? Edward Young? George Bernard Shaw? Laird MacKenzie? Elsie McCormick? Bertrand Russell? Kurt Vonnegut? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Several thinkers have offered an anguished explanation for the dangerously disordered state of the world. Here are four versions:

  • This world is the lunatic asylum for other planets.
  • Earth is a madhouse for the Universe
  • The other planets use Earth as an insane asylum.
  • Our world is bedlam for other worlds.

This notion has been credited to Mark Twain, Voltaire, Thomas Jefferson, George Bernard Shaw and others. Would you please explore the provenance of this expression?

Quote Investigator: This is a complex topic; hence, QI will split the response into three articles; an article centered on Voltaire’s quotation is available here; an article centered on George Bernard Shaw’s quotation is available here; the overview article is presented below.

A thematic match occurred in a lengthy work by the English poet Edward Young. The poem was called “The Complaint, Or, Night-thoughts on Life, Death, & Immortality”, and it was split into a sequence of numbered “Nights”. The expression appeared in “Night Nine” which was serialized in “The Scots Magazine” in 1747. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[1]1747 May, The Scots Magazine, Volume 9, Section: Poetical Essays, The Complaint, Night 9 and Last: The Consolation, (by Edward Young), Continuation of Complaint, Night 9, Start Page 221, Quote Page … Continue reading

But what are we? You never heard of Man,
Or Earth; the Bedlam of the universe!
Where Reason, undiseas’d with you, runs mad,
And nurses Folly’s children as her own;

Voltaire wrote a story “Memnon ou La Sagesse Humaine” (“Memnon or Human Wisdom”) in the late 1740s and published it by 1749. The main character Memnon mentions Earth’s place in the universe. Here is an English translation from 1807:[2]1807, Classic Tales: Serious and Lively, Volume 2, Voltaire, Story: Memnon the Philosopher; or Human Wisdom, Start Page 181, Quote Page 188 and 189, Printed and Published by and for John Hunt & … Continue reading

“I am afraid,” said Memnon, “that our little terraqueous globe here is the mad-house of those hundred thousand millions of worlds, of which your Lordship does me the honour to speak.”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “This World Is the Lunatic Asylum of the Universe”

References

References
↑1 1747 May, The Scots Magazine, Volume 9, Section: Poetical Essays, The Complaint, Night 9 and Last: The Consolation, (by Edward Young), Continuation of Complaint, Night 9, Start Page 221, Quote Page 225, Printed by W. Sands, A. Murray, and J. Cochran, Edinburgh, Scotland. (HathiTrust Full View) link
↑2 1807, Classic Tales: Serious and Lively, Volume 2, Voltaire, Story: Memnon the Philosopher; or Human Wisdom, Start Page 181, Quote Page 188 and 189, Printed and Published by and for John Hunt & Carew Reynell, London. (Google Books Full View) link

To My Embarrassment I Was Born in Bed with a Lady

Mark Twain? Groucho Marx? Wilson Mizner? Sydney J. Harris? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: A funny man once said that he was embarrassed to discover that his behavior had always been scandalous; he had been born in bed with a lady. This line has been connected to Mark Twain, Groucho Marx, and Wilson Mizner. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: The earliest match known to QI occurred in the 1930 book “Beds” by Groucho Marx. One section contained letters sent by Groucho in response to questions. The ellipsis in the following appeared in the original text:[1] 1976 (Copyright 1930 on original edition), Beds by Groucho Marx, Quote Page 70 and 71, Bobbs-Merrill Company, Indianapolis, Indiana. (Verified on paper)

It is Wilson Mizner, and not I, who recalls his embarrassment when he first came into the world, and found a woman in bed with him. . . . I wasn’t embarrassed.

Thus, Groucho credited the playwright, rogue, and wit Wilson Mizner. This citation is listed in the valuable reference “The Yale Book of Quotations” edited by Fred R. Shapiro.[2] 2006, The Yale Book of Quotations by Fred R. Shapiro, Section: Wilson Mizner, Quote Page 526, Yale University Press, New Haven. (Verified on paper)

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “To My Embarrassment I Was Born in Bed with a Lady”

References

References
↑1 1976 (Copyright 1930 on original edition), Beds by Groucho Marx, Quote Page 70 and 71, Bobbs-Merrill Company, Indianapolis, Indiana. (Verified on paper)
↑2 2006, The Yale Book of Quotations by Fred R. Shapiro, Section: Wilson Mizner, Quote Page 526, Yale University Press, New Haven. (Verified on paper)

Read 500 Pages Like This Every Day. That’s How Knowledge Works. It Builds Up, Like Compound Interest

Warren Buffett? Todd Combs? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Warren Buffett is one of the wealthiest individuals in the history of the world. His lengthy record of successful investing is remarkable. Apparently, he was once asked for guidance and offered this suggestion:

Read five-hundred pages every day.

I haven’t been able to find a citation. Would you please help?

Quote Investigator: Warren Buffett serves as chairman and chief executive of Berkshire Hathaway. In 2010 Buffett hired hedge fund manager Todd Combs to join the conglomerate as an investment manager.

Many years before that event, Combs was a student at Columbia University. He first saw Buffett during an investing class according to an article in the “Omaha World-Herald”. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[1]2013 April 28, Omaha World-Herald, Investors earn handsome paychecks by handling Buffett’s business by Steve Jordon (World-Herald Staff Writer), Omaha, Nebraska. (Accessed October 12, 2018; … Continue reading

Combs didn’t meet Buffett that day but says, “I still remember it like it was yesterday.”

One of the students asked what he could do now to prepare for an investing career. Buffett thought for a few seconds and then reached for the stack of reports, trade publications and other papers he had brought with him.

“Read 500 pages like this every day,” said Buffett, or words to that effect. “That’s how knowledge works. It builds up, like compound interest. All of you can do it, but I guarantee not many of you will do it.”

The article stated that Combs heeded the advice, and at the start of his investing career he would sometimes read “600, 750, even 1,000 pages a day”. Combs believed that the knowledge he gained helped him to succeed.

The veracity of the Buffett attributed quotation is based on the memory of Todd Combs who enrolled at the Columbia Business School in 2000. In his second year he was accepted into the exclusive Value Investment Program.[2] 2010 December, AiCIO (Trade Journal), Who Is This Man?, Publisher: Asset International, Inc., Place of publication: Stamford. (ProQuest ABI/INFORM Collection) The piece in the “Omaha World-Herald” appeared in 2013.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Read 500 Pages Like This Every Day. That’s How Knowledge Works. It Builds Up, Like Compound Interest”

References

References
↑1 2013 April 28, Omaha World-Herald, Investors earn handsome paychecks by handling Buffett’s business by Steve Jordon (World-Herald Staff Writer), Omaha, Nebraska. (Accessed October 12, 2018; website omaha.com) link
↑2 2010 December, AiCIO (Trade Journal), Who Is This Man?, Publisher: Asset International, Inc., Place of publication: Stamford. (ProQuest ABI/INFORM Collection)

The Command ‘Be Fruitful and Multiply’ Was Promulgated When the Population of the World Consisted of Two Persons

William Ralph Inge? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The number of people on planet Earth has grown to the remarkably large figure of 7.5 billion. A passage in the Book of Genesis of the King James Bible encourages fertility:

And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

Yet, the world is quite different today. I vaguely recall a quotation accentuating that difference by mentioning the initial biblical population figure. Would you please help me to find that quotation?

Quote Investigator: In 1931 William Ralph Inge who was Dean of St Paul’s Cathedral in London published “More Lay Thoughts of a Dean”. The book contained a reprint of a newspaper essay titled “Should We Limit Our Population?” which included the following:[1]1931, More Lay Thoughts of a Dean by William Ralph Inge, Section: Right or Wrong: Some Vexed Questions, Chapter 6: Should We Limit Our Population, Quote Page 48, Putnam, London and New York. … Continue reading

The command “Be fruitful and multiply”—promulgated, according to our authorities, when the population of the world consisted of two persons—must be obeyed now that it contains 1,800 millions, even if the result is that from time to time “millions die of starvation, in extremest agony.”

Encouraging fertility makes sense when a group is small, but Inge believed that the population of 1.8 billion in the 1920s indicated that the situation of humanity had changed dramatically. Humans had wildly succeeded in multiplying, and Inge believed it was desirable to make an effort to control population growth in Britain.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “The Command ‘Be Fruitful and Multiply’ Was Promulgated When the Population of the World Consisted of Two Persons”

References

References
↑1 1931, More Lay Thoughts of a Dean by William Ralph Inge, Section: Right or Wrong: Some Vexed Questions, Chapter 6: Should We Limit Our Population, Quote Page 48, Putnam, London and New York. (Verified with hardcopy)

Events in the Past May Be Roughly Divided Into Those Which Probably Never Happened and Those Which Do Not Matter

William Ralph Inge? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: I once heard the humorous claim that recorded history may be divided into two parts:

  • Events that probably never happened.
  • Events that do not matter.

Would you please explore the provenance of this observation?

Quote Investigator: William Ralph Inge was Dean of St Paul’s Cathedral in London and a professor of divinity at Cambridge. Dean Inge, as he was commonly known, was a prolific author and newspaper columnist. In 1925 “The Advertiser” of Adelaide, Australia published a piece “On Utopians” that acknowledged Inge and included the following passage. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1925 April 11, The Advertiser (Adelaide Advertiser), On Utopians: Some Thoughts on the Present Discontents, Quote Page 16, Column 6, Adelaide, South Australia. (NewspaperArchive)

The things that we know about the past may be divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not much matter. As Samuel Butler says, historians have the power, which is not claimed by the Deity, of altering the past; and this is perhaps the reason why they are allowed to exist.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Events in the Past May Be Roughly Divided Into Those Which Probably Never Happened and Those Which Do Not Matter”

References

References
↑1 1925 April 11, The Advertiser (Adelaide Advertiser), On Utopians: Some Thoughts on the Present Discontents, Quote Page 16, Column 6, Adelaide, South Australia. (NewspaperArchive)

Politicians Are Like Diapers. They Should Be Changed Regularly

Mark Twain? Dick Nolan? Ad Schuster? Betty Carpenter? Bumper Sticker? Jake Ford? Bill Quraishi? John Wallner? Robin Williams? Barry Levinson? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: The number of sayings spuriously ascribed to Mark Twain seems to grow every year. Here are two versions of a remark credited to the famous son of Hannibal, Missouri:

  • Politicians and diapers should be changed often.
  • Politicians are like diapers. They need to be changed regularly and for the same reason.

The Wikiquote webpage for Twain contends that the statement is misattributed. What do you think?

Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Mark Twain who died in 1910 said or wrote this joke. It does not appear on the important Twain Quotes website edited by Barbara Schmidt,[1] Website: TwainQuotes.com, Editor: Barbara Schmidt, Description: Mark Twain quotations, articles, and related resources. (Searched October 17, 2018) link nor does it appear in “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips” edited by Caroline Thomas Harnsberger.[2] 1948, Mark Twain at Your Fingertips by Caroline Thomas Harnsberger, Cloud, Inc., Beechhurst Press, Inc., New York. (Verified with search)

The earliest close match located by QI appeared in a column by Dick Nolan in “The San Francisco Examiner” of California in 1966. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[3] 1966 November 10, The San Francisco Examiner, See—I’ve Still Got a Neck by Dick Nolan, Quote Page 41, Column 4, San Francisco, California. (Newspapers_com)

Seasoned politics-watchers can only remind the gloomies that a more or less regular turnover is good for the Republic. In a sound democracy, our rulers ought to be changed routinely, like diapers for the same reason.

QI hypothesizes that this expression evolved from an earlier family of sayings based on the replacement of socks instead of diapers.

Multiple researchers have cooperatively explored this topic, e.g., Barry Popik has found several valuable citations, and this article includes citations located by other researchers.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Politicians Are Like Diapers. They Should Be Changed Regularly”

References

References
↑1 Website: TwainQuotes.com, Editor: Barbara Schmidt, Description: Mark Twain quotations, articles, and related resources. (Searched October 17, 2018) link
↑2 1948, Mark Twain at Your Fingertips by Caroline Thomas Harnsberger, Cloud, Inc., Beechhurst Press, Inc., New York. (Verified with search)
↑3 1966 November 10, The San Francisco Examiner, See—I’ve Still Got a Neck by Dick Nolan, Quote Page 41, Column 4, San Francisco, California. (Newspapers_com)

Eat Whatever You Like and Let Them Fight It Out Inside

Mark Twain? Lyman Beecher Stowe? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The following eccentric dietary advice has been attributed to the famous humorist Mark Twain:

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

I question whether Twain said this because no one provides a solid citation. Would you please explore this saying?

Quote Investigator: Mark Twain died in 1910, and the earliest match known to QI occurred in an anecdote told by Lyman Beecher Stowe in 1932 to members of the Mark Twain Library and Memorial Commission. Stowe knew Twain because his grandparents lived next door to the luminary in Hartford, Connecticut. “The Hartford Courant” newspaper reported the following. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI.[1]1932 December 2, The Hartford Courant, Mark Twain Recalled On Anniversary: Lyman Beecher Stowe Relates Anecdotes of Writer and His Friends at Memorial, Quote Page 6, Column 1, Hartford, Connecticut. … Continue reading

Of the many typical stories from the rich store of Mark Twain’s life, one of the most delightful told by Mr. Stowe was the following advice from Mark Twain, asked on his seventieth birthday to disclose a set of rules for longevity: “Never smoke more than one cigar at a time. Never, never smoke while sleeping. Eat whatever you want and let ’em fight it out among themselves inside. Sit up as late as you can get anybody to stay with you, and stay in bed as long as anybody will let you.”

There is strong evidence that Twain did employ the jokes about smoking in 1905. However, QI has not yet found any evidence linking Twain to the comical remark about eating during his lifetime. Therefore, the accuracy of the ascription to Twain depends on the reliability of Lyman Beecher Stowe’s memory.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Eat Whatever You Like and Let Them Fight It Out Inside”

References

References
↑1 1932 December 2, The Hartford Courant, Mark Twain Recalled On Anniversary: Lyman Beecher Stowe Relates Anecdotes of Writer and His Friends at Memorial, Quote Page 6, Column 1, Hartford, Connecticut. (ProQuest)