Groucho Marx? John Stuart Mill? Joseph Addison? Thomas Stafford? Boyle Roche? Adam Neale? Samuel Goldwyn? Bill Nye? Dear Quote Investigator: Making sacrifices now for the people and environment of the future is difficult. This challenge has been encapsulated with a humorous remark. Here are two versions: Why should I care about posterity? What’s posterity ever …
Tag Archives: Groucho Marx
I Spent a Good Part of Last Evening Laughing at a Very Bad Play
Walter Kerr? Groucho Marx? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Comedies rarely win prestigious awards. Critics are unaccountably hostile to works that make them guffaw. Groucho Marx once described a critic who laughed heartily and repeatedly during the performance of a play, yet crafted and published an excoriating newspaper review the next day using the barbed phrases …
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I Have Just One Day, Today, and I’m Going To Be Happy In It
Groucho Marx? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: Reportedly, Groucho Marx once described his philosophy of life. He stated that each day he had the power to choose to be happy or unhappy, and he would select happiness. Are you familiar with his statement on this topic? Would you please help me to find a citation? Quote …
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He Got His Good Looks from His Mother. She’s a Plastic Surgeon
Groucho Marx? Frank Parker? Marty Allen? Steve Rossi? Dorothy Shay? Ed Reed? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The comedian Groucho Marx apparently crafted a witty twist on beauty and inheritance. Here are two versions: He got his good looks from his mother. She’s a plastic surgeon. She got her good looks from her father. He’s a …
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Obscene and Not Heard
Groucho Marx? Ethel Barrymore? Maurice Barrymore? Paul M. Potter? Gertrude Battles Lane? John Lennon? Joe E. Lewis? Robert Heinlein? Marilyn Manson? Augustus John? Oscar Wilde? Dear Quote Investigator: There is well-known and often repeated admonition directed at young people who are making too much noise: Children should be seen and not heard. Wordplay has produced …
Cloquet Hated Reality But Realized It Was Still the Only Place to Get a Good Steak
Woody Allen? Groucho Marx? Cloquet? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The comedian and movie director Woody Allen sometimes constructs ontological jokes. For example, the following is attributed to Allen: I hate reality, but it is still the only place where I can get a decent steak. Oddly, the following very similar quip has been credited to …
Book Blurb: I Was Convulsed with Laughter
Groucho Marx? S. J. Perelman? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: Groucho Marx was once asked to write a blurb for a book written by a friend. The result was this hilarious evaluation: From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. …
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Give the People What They Want and They’ll Come
Humorist: Red Skelton? George Jessel? Goodman Ace? Groucho Marx? Bert Lahr? James Bacon? Funeral: Harry Cohn? Louis B. Mayer? Dear Quote Investigator: A show business platitude states that success at the box office is achievable by simply giving the people what they want. A harsh comical anecdote about a funeral reinterpreted this saying. The memorial …
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Quote Origin: Time Wounds All Heels
Groucho Marx? Marshall Reid? Fanny Brice? Frank Case? Jane Ace? Goodman Ace? Rudy Vallée? Verree Teasdale? Robert Bloch? John Lennon? Ann Landers? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: The following humorous pun about comeuppance for poor behavior has been attributed to the famous comedian Groucho Marx. The slang term “heel” refers to a contemptible person: Time …
Anecdote Origin: “If I Were Your Wife I’d Put Poison in Your Tea!” “If I Were Your Husband I’d Drink It”
Winston Churchill? Nancy Astor? Marshall Pinckney Wilder? Patrick O’Dowd? David Lloyd George? George Bernard Shaw? Groucho Marx? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: There is a famous anecdote in which an exasperated individual fantasizes aloud about giving poison to another person. The sharp rejoinder is surprising and hilarious. Usually the two named participants are Nancy Astor …