Quote Origin: If I Told You That You Have a Gorgeous Figure Would You Hold It Against Me?

Groucho Marx? David Bellamy? Max Miller? Monty Python? George Little? Barney Horrigan? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: In 1979 the Bellamy Brothers released a popular country music song with a humorous title: If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me? This line has been attributed to the famous comedian …

Proverb Origin: There May Be Snow On the Roof, But There’s Fire In the Furnace

Groucho Marx? Caroline Newnes? Louise Manning Hodgkins? Bert Lahr? Ted Ray? John Diefenbaker? Milton Berle? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: The emergence of grey hair is inevitable as a person ages. Yet, most senior citizens are able to maintain their energy and vitality. A family of sayings uses figurative language to reflect this viewpoint. Here …

Whoever Named It Necking Was a Poor Judge of Anatomy

Groucho Marx? Robert Quillen? Robert O. Ryder? Dorothy Uris? Evan Esar? Agro B. Arlo? Laurence J. Peter? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The informal term “necking” refers to kissing and caressing amorously. A comedian once said: Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. Do you know who crafted this joke? Was it Groucho …

Die, My Dear Doctor! That’s the Last Thing I Shall Do

Groucho Marx? Lord Palmerston? Old Bishop? John Cordy Jeaffreson? Söndags-Nisse? Robert Lee Bullard? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: A famous person lying on their deathbed overheard distraught visitors discussing mortality. The stricken but still lively individual sat bolt upright and declared: Die? That’s the last thing I’ll do. This humorously redundant statement has been attributed to …

“I Am My Own Worst Enemy” “Not While I’m Alive”

Groucho Marx? Ernest Bevin? George S. Kaufman? Cotton Ed Smith? Franklin P. Adams? Alan Hale? Walter F. George? Oscar Levant? Dear Quote Investigator: A comment which acknowledges criticism has been coupled with a harshly comical riposte. Here are three examples: “I’m my own worst enemy. ” “Not while I’m in the room.” “She is her …

Television: It’s Called a Medium Because It’s Never Well Done

Groucho Marx? Fred Waring? Ed Gardner? Goodman Ace? Jane Ace? Fred Allen? Ernie Kovacs? Deane Binder? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The number of scripted television shows has grown dramatically in recent years and so have the plaudits. Yet, from its earliest days the medium has always attracted scorn. Here are three examples of lacerating word …

We Both Were Crazy About Girls

Groucho Marx? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: Groucho Marx apparently once said that he pursued the affections of a woman for two years until he finally discovered that the woman was doing exactly the same thing: pursuing the affections of a woman. Would you please investigate this claim? Quote Investigator: The 1967 collection of correspondence titled …

A Black Cat Crossing Your Path Signifies That the Animal Is Going Somewhere

Groucho Marx? Jack Oakie? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Encountering a black cat may bring you good luck or bad luck according to a complicated rule dictated by superstitious beliefs. The nature of the omen depends on whether the cat was traveling from left to right or the reverse. It also depends on whether the cat …

To My Embarrassment I Was Born in Bed with a Lady

Mark Twain? Groucho Marx? Wilson Mizner? Sydney J. Harris? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: A funny man once said that he was embarrassed to discover that his behavior had always been scandalous; he had been born in bed with a lady. This line has been connected to Mark Twain, Groucho Marx, and Wilson Mizner. Would you …

Who Ya Gonna Believe Me or Your Own Eyes?

Groucho Marx? Chico Marx? Popular Song? Peggy Hopkins Joyce? Dorothy Dix? Ace Reid? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: According to legend when the wife of a famous comedian caught him in bed with another person the entertainer was unperturbed and denied that anything improper was occurring: Who you gonna believe, me or your lying eyes? This …

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