Excuse My Dust

Dorothy Parker? Hudson Six Owner? Alexander Woollcott? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The famous wit Dorothy Parker was once asked to create an epitaph for her tombstone. Apparently, she crafted several different candidates for inscription over the years: 1) Excuse My Dust 2) Here Lies the Body of Dorothy Parker. Thank God! 3) This Is On …

If You Can’t Say Something Good About Someone, Sit Right Here by Me

Dorothy Parker? Alice Roosevelt Longworth? Earl Wilson? Robert Harling? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The most trenchant comment pertaining to gossip that I have ever heard is often attributed to the wit Dorothy Parker. The quip is based on altering the following conventional instruction on etiquette: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say …

How Can They Tell?

Dorothy Parker? Wilson Mizner? Apocryphal? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Calvin Coolidge was the 30th President of the United States, and his highly reserved character in social settings led to the nickname “Silent Cal”. A few years after his death in 1933 two similar anecdotes began to circulate about the spoken reaction to the news of …

Written Without Fear and Without Research

Dorothy Parker? Carl L. Becker? Thomas Reed Powell? Charles A. Beard? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The famous wit Dorothy Parker wrote book reviews containing memorable zingers. When she examined a scientific volume she reportedly wrote the following: This work was written without fear and without research. I have not been able to determine when she …

The Only “Ism” in which Hollywood Believes Is Plagiarism

Dorothy Parker? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: From Fascism, Marxism, and Anarchism to Consumerism, Materialism, and Postmodernism the world has been infatuated by and convulsed by “isms”. The famous wit Dorothy Parker reportedly spoke the following line while she was writing screenplays in Hollywood: The only “ism” Hollywood really believes in is plagiarism. Did she really …

She Runs the Gamut of Human Emotion from A to B

Dorothy Parker? Katharine Hepburn? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: There is a famously severe criticism that was aimed at an inexpressive theater performer or movie star in the 1930s. Here are two prototypes: This performer ran the gamut of human emotion all the way from A to B. This thespian runs the gamut of emotions from …

He’s a Writer for the Ages—For the Ages of Four to Eight

Dorothy Parker? George Jean Nathan? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The trenchant prose of Dorothy Parker has always impressed me. Reportedly she once lacerated a writer who was receiving a superfluity of undeserved accolades with the following: He is a writer for the ages — the ages of four to eight. Is this Parker’s joke? When …

Quote Origin: Not a Book To Be Lightly Thrown Aside. Should Be Thrown with Great Force

Dorothy Parker? Bill Miller? Frank Dolan? Sid Ziff? Bennett Cerf? Groucho Marx? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: The most scathingly hilarious quip about a novel is usually credited to the famous wit Dorothy Parker who purportedly included it in a book review: This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be …

The Two Most Beautiful Words in the English Language Are “Check Enclosed”

Dorothy Parker? Douglass Malluch? Douglas Malloch? Henry James? Credit Man for a New York Hat House? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: During a recent discussion with friends we tried to construct a list of great jokes that will be obsolete within a few decades. Here is one that is credited to the famous wit Dorothy Parker …

Hogamous, Higamous, Man is Polygamous, Higamous, Hogamous, Woman is Monagamous

William James? Dorothy Parker? Ogden Nash? Mrs. Amos Pinchot? Alice Duer Miller? Apocryphal? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: I read a wild story about William James, the prominent psychologist, educator, and philosopher. One night he experimented with the psychoactive gas nitrous oxide, commonly known as laughing gas. While experiencing a reverie James became convinced that he …