You Did What You Knew How To Do, and When You Knew Better, You Did Better

Maya Angelou? Oprah Winfrey? Phil McGraw? Gary Zukav? Ernest Rogers? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Life requires a complicated incremental process of learning. Agonizing mistakes are inevitable. Here are two versions of a heartfelt response to setbacks:

(1) You did what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better.
(2) Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.

This saying has been attributed to prominent memoirist and poet Maya Angelou and to famous television producer and entrepreneur Oprah Winfrey. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1995 Oprah Winfrey’s television program featured a guest who discussed her drug abuse problems. The frank confession from the guest inspired Winfrey to make her own revelation. Oprah stated that she had smoked crack cocaine when she was in her twenties. An article in “The Washington Post” about the television episode described Oprah’s remarks. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1995 January 13, The Washington Post, How Oprah’s Confession Tumbled Out by Patrice Gaines (Washington Post Staff Writer), Quote Page B1, Column 4, Washington D.C. (ProQuest)

Winfrey spoke to the audience of the shame she felt about her “dark secret” and how her friend, poet Maya Angelou, had once said to her, “You did what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better.”

Thus, Oprah Winfrey ascribed the memorably empathetic guidance to her friend and mentor Maya Angelou. There is a long history before 1995 for the general saying: if you know better, do better.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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References

References
1 1995 January 13, The Washington Post, How Oprah’s Confession Tumbled Out by Patrice Gaines (Washington Post Staff Writer), Quote Page B1, Column 4, Washington D.C. (ProQuest)

God’s Way of Pointing You in a New Direction

Oprah Winfrey? Mike Patrick? Peter A. LaPorta? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Failure is painful, but it also provides an opportunity to learn. An apparent defeat may be transformed into a victory by using hard-won knowledge to discover a different pathway to success. The prominent television producer, entrepreneur, and actress Oprah Winfrey concisely communicated this same idea during a graduation speech. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Quote Investigator: In May 2007 Oprah Winfrey delivered the commencement address at Howard University in Washington D.C., and the C-SPAN video archive contains a recording. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1]Website: C-SPAN.org Video, Video title: Howard University Commencement Address, Speech delivered by: Oprah Winfrey (Television Personality), Date on website: May 12, 2007, Quotation location: 4 mins … Continue reading

So here are a few things I want you to know that I know for sure. Don’t be afraid. All you have to know is who you are. Because there is no such thing as failure. There is no such thing as failure. What other people label or might try to call failure I have learned is just God’s way of pointing you in a new direction.

Below are selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading God’s Way of Pointing You in a New Direction

References

References
1 Website: C-SPAN.org Video, Video title: Howard University Commencement Address, Speech delivered by: Oprah Winfrey (Television Personality), Date on website: May 12, 2007, Quotation location: 4 mins 57 secs of 19 mins 56 secs, Website description: Cable-Satellite Public Affairs Network (C-SPAN) is a nonprofit public service organization. (Accessed c-span.org on June 27, 2022) link

I Was Responsible for Myself, and I Had To Make Good

Oprah Winfrey? Anne Saidman? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: At an early age U.S. talk show host, producer, and entrepreneur Oprah Winfrey believed that she was responsible for her own choices and actions. She worked hard to make a good life and obtain success. One of her inspirational quotations used the phrase “responsible for myself”. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Quote Investigator: The 1990 book “Oprah Winfrey: Media Success Story” by Anne Saidman described Winfrey’s activities as a volunteer. She often delivered speeches at churches, YMCAs, and shelters. She helped form a Big Sisters group to support young women in a Chicago housing project. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1990, Oprah Winfrey: Media Success Story by Anne Saidman, Chapter 6: Spectacular Success, Quote Page 41 and 42, Lerner Publications Company, Minneapolis, Minnesota. (Verified with scans)

She encourages the girls in the group to stay in school, get an education, and take responsibility for their futures. Her advice to them has a lot to do with how she sees herself: “I don’t think of myself as a poor deprived ghetto girl who made good. I think of myself as somebody who from an early age knew I was responsible for myself, and I had to make good.”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading I Was Responsible for Myself, and I Had To Make Good

References

References
1 1990, Oprah Winfrey: Media Success Story by Anne Saidman, Chapter 6: Spectacular Success, Quote Page 41 and 42, Lerner Publications Company, Minneapolis, Minnesota. (Verified with scans)

Hurt People Hurt People

Rick Warren? Will Bowen? Yehuda Berg? Charles Eads? Oprah Winfrey? Helen Boyd? Doug Manning? Emotions Anonymous? Barbara Johnson? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: People who have been hurt or damaged in life sometimes respond by striking out and hurting the people who are around them. A concise adage expresses this viewpoint:

Hurt people hurt people.

This statement been ascribed to pastor Rick Warren, minister Will Bowen, and rabbi Yehuda Berg who are all bestselling authors. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: These three influential religious figures have all employed the saying, but only after it was circulating.

The earliest match located by QI appeared in an Amarillo, Texas newspaper in 1959. A columnist described a meeting of the Parent Teacher Association held at a local Junior High. One of the speakers was named Charles Eads. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1959 February 26, Amarillo Globe-Times, Polk Street Professor, Quote Page 30, Column 1, Amarillo, Texas. (Newspapers_com)

Charles claimed the teacher’s job is to take 25 or 30 live wires and make sure they are well grounded. And he said the human anatomy is a most peculiar mechanism. If you pat it on the back it often makes the head swell.

Then he made a statement that might give pause to a student of psychology. It’s worded peculiarly. The statement is, “Hurt people hurt people.” So, maybe before I wound someone next time, I’ll stop and think if it’s because I’ve been hurt, myself.

It is possible that Charles Eads coined the saying; alternatively, he was simply repeating a phrase he had heard previously.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading Hurt People Hurt People

References

References
1 1959 February 26, Amarillo Globe-Times, Polk Street Professor, Quote Page 30, Column 1, Amarillo, Texas. (Newspapers_com)

Create the Highest, Grandest Vision Possible for Your Life Because You Become What You Believe

Oprah Winfrey? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Famous talk show host and entrepreneur Oprah Winfrey has suggested that you should have grand visions because you become what you believe. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Quote Investigator: Oprah Winfrey delivered the commencement address at Wellesley College in Massachusetts on May 30, 1997. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1]Website: Wellesley College, Article title: Oprah Winfrey’s Commencement Address, Article author: Oprah Winfrey, Date on website: May 30, 1997, Website description: Information about Wellesley … Continue reading

Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life because you become what you believe. When I was little girl, Mississippi, growing up on the farm, only Buckwheat as a role model, watching my grandmother boil clothes in a big, iron pot through the screen door, because we didn’t have a washing machine and made everything we had. I watched her and realized somehow inside myself, in the spirit of myself, that although this was segregated Mississippi and I was “colored” and female, that my life could be bigger, greater than what I saw.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading Create the Highest, Grandest Vision Possible for Your Life Because You Become What You Believe

References

References
1 Website: Wellesley College, Article title: Oprah Winfrey’s Commencement Address, Article author: Oprah Winfrey, Date on website: May 30, 1997, Website description: Information about Wellesley College in Wellesley, Massachusetts. (Accessed wellesley.edu on August 25, 2019) link

A Stumble Is Not a Fall

Malcolm X? Oprah Winfrey? Haitian Proverb? Portuguese Proverb? Henry Rich? Thomas Fuller? Thomas Dunn English? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: While pursuing an objective one may make errors and suffer setbacks, but these impediments to progress are not insurmountable. Here are two versions of an analogical proverb offering encouragement:

  • Stumbling is not falling.
  • A stumble is not a fall.

This saying has been attributed to entrepreneur Oprah Winfrey, and activist Malcolm X. It has also been called a Portuguese and Haitian Proverb. Would you please examine this topic?

Quote Investigator: Malcolm X received credit in the 2000s which is very late. Oprah Winfrey did use the expression during a commencement speech in 2016.

The adage has a very long history. In 1643 Henry Rich, 1st Earl of Holland made an apologetic official declaration which included a thematically related proverb. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[1]1692, Historical Collections: The Third Part: Volume 2, Containing the Principal Matters Which Happened from the Meeting of the Parliament November 3, 1640 to the End of the Year, 1644, Licensed: … Continue reading

And since I have made an uneven Step, from the Unclearness of my Information, more than from the Unfaithfulness of my Affections or Intentions, I hope it may be look’d upon and consider’d as the Proverb that saith, Whosoever stumbles, and falls not, gets rather than loses ground.

Interestingly, the above saying depicted a stumble positively. Another positive precursor occurred in the 1732 compilation “Gnomologia” edited by Thomas Fuller. The reference included the following four sequential items:[2]1732, Gnomologia: Adagies and Proverbs; Wise Sentences and Witty Sayings, Collected by Thomas Fuller, Quote Pages 16, Printed for B. Barker, A. Bettesworth, and C. Hitch, London. (Google Books Full … Continue reading

423 A stout Heart crushes ill Luck.
424 A Stumble may prevent a Fall.
425 A streight Stick is crooked in the Water.
426 A successful Man loses no Reputation.

The adage above has continued to circulate in books and periodicals up to the present day. Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading A Stumble Is Not a Fall

References

References
1 1692, Historical Collections: The Third Part: Volume 2, Containing the Principal Matters Which Happened from the Meeting of the Parliament November 3, 1640 to the End of the Year, 1644, Licensed: November 11, 1691, Edited by John Rushworth, Declaration made to the Kingdom by Henry Earl of Holland, Date of Declaration: 1643, Start Page 367, Quote Page 368, Printed for Richard Chiswell and Thomas Cockerill, London. (HathiTrust Full View) link
2 1732, Gnomologia: Adagies and Proverbs; Wise Sentences and Witty Sayings, Collected by Thomas Fuller, Quote Pages 16, Printed for B. Barker, A. Bettesworth, and C. Hitch, London. (Google Books Full View) link
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