Quote Investigator® – Page 157

A Gentleman Is a Man Who Never Gives Offense Unintentionally

Oscar Wilde? Margaret Butler? Geraldine Grove? Lord Chesterfield? John Wayne? Christopher Hitchens? John Cleese? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Books of etiquette once provided a definition of a gentleman that included the following assertion:

A gentleman never insults anyone intentionally.

The clever addition of a two-letter prefix humorously spun the definition:

A gentleman never insults anyone unintentionally.

This statement is often attributed to the famous wit Oscar Wilde. Would you please examine this quip?

Quote Investigator: This joke is difficult to trace because it can be expressed in many ways. Here is a sampling:

The well-bred man is never rude unintentionally.
A gentleman is a man who never gives offense unintentionally.
Only very ill-bred people are rude by accident.
A gentleman is never rude unintentionally or by accident.

The earliest match located by QI appeared in “The Bedfordshire Mercury” of England in June 1899 within an article titled “Pleasant Paragraphs” which listed miscellaneous anonymous items of wit and humor. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1899 June 16, The Bedfordshire Mercury, Pleasant Paragraphs, Quote Page 3, Column 3, Bedfordshire, England. (British Newspaper Archive) [/ref]

The well-bred man is never rude unintentionally.

This item appeared in several newspapers in England during the ensuing months and years. For example, in December 1900 the item appeared in “The Widnes Examiner”,[ref] 1900 December 14, The Widnes Examiner, Pleasant Paragraphs, Quote Page 6, Column 2, Lancashire, England. (British Newspaper Archive) [/ref] and in February 1901 it appeared in the “St. Helens Examiner” [ref] 1901 February 15, St. Helens Examiner, Pleasant Paragraphs, Quote Page 8, Column 1, Lancashire, England. (British Newspaper Archive) [/ref]

Oscar Wilde died in in 1900, and he was linked to the quip by 1929, but that was very late. QI has not yet found any substantive evidence that Wilde created or used this joke.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “A Gentleman Is a Man Who Never Gives Offense Unintentionally”

The Eternal Stars Shine Out Again, So Soon As It Is Dark Enough

Ralph Waldo Emerson? Martin Luther King Jr.? Emily Faithfull? Amelia Edith Barr? Charles A. Beard? Thomas Carlyle? Norman Vincent Peale? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: There is a popular metaphorical expression that encourages people to maintain hope and optimism during times of unhappiness and trouble. Here are three versions:

1) Only when it is dark enough, can you see the stars.
2) When the night is dark enough the stars shine out.
3) Not until it gets really dark do the beautiful stars appear.

Admittedly, there is considerable ambiguity when interpreting these sayings, and the most common meanings may have shifted over time.

The first version above is often attributed to the famous transcendentalist philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson, but I searched a database of his complete works and was unable to find it. Would you please explore this adage?

Quote Investigator: The earliest strong match located by QI appeared in the 1843 book “Past and Present” by the influential Scottish philosopher and social commentator Thomas Carlyle. He employed an instance of the metaphor while discussing squalor, strikes, and revolts. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[ref] 1843, Past and Present by Thomas Carlyle, Book IV: Chapter VIII: The Didactic, Start Page 251, Quote Page 251, Published by Chapman & Hall, London. (Google Books Full View) link [/ref]

As dark misery settles down on us, and our refuges of lies fall in pieces one after one, the hearts of men, now at last serious, will turn to refuges of truth. The eternal stars shine out again, so soon as it is dark enough.

Different versions of the expression have been circulating for more than a century and a half, but the meaning has been malleable. In the instance above QI believes that Carlyle was suggesting important truths emerged during times of tribulation.

QI has found no substantive evidence that Ralph Waldo Emerson used the expression. Some writers of moral instruction and romantic fiction did use instances in the 1800s.

The prominent historian Charles A. Beard employed the saying in lectures and articles by 1909, but he credited Thomas Carlyle. Indeed, when Beard was asked to summarize his extensive knowledge of the past he produced a condensation that consisted of four laws of history, and one law was based on Carlyle’s words. The other three are listed further below.

The civil rights champion Martin Luther King used an instance in a speech, but he credited Charles A. Beard. The popular religious writer Norman Vincent Peale also helped to popularize the saying.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Those Who Love Deeply Never Grow Old

Benjamin Franklin? Dorothy Canfield Fisher? Arthur Wing Pinero? Abigail Van Buren? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: I recently saw an illustration of two people embracing above the following caption:

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.

At least three different people have been credited with this saying: Dorothy C. Fisher, Benjamin Franklin, and Arthur W. Pinero. Would you please trace this expression?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1897 the five act comedy “The Princess and The Butterfly; or, The Fantastics” by Arthur Wing Pinero was staged in London and in New York. The two primary characters were named Princess Pannonia and George Lamorant and were referred to as The Princess and The Butterfly, respectively.

Lamorant proposed marriage to Pannonia, but he also expressed uncertainty about the match to another character named Fay Zuliani who delivered the following advice. Nonstandard spelling was employed to depict an Italian accent; “those” was written as “dose”, and “they” was written as “dey”. Boldface has been added to excerpts:¹

FAY: [Slowly coming to the table.] Dose who love deep never grow old, I have ‘eard it said. Dey may die of age, but dey die young. You ought to love de Princess.

Note that the original line used “die of age” and not “die of old age”. Also, the word “deep” was spoken instead of “deeply”.

During a later scene in the play the initial statement was emphasized by being spoken again by both Lamorant and Pannonia though the phrasing was slightly different:²

SIR GEORGE: That those who love deeply cannot age—
PRINCESS: That those–who love deeply–cannot age?
SIR GEORGE: Yes
PRINCESS: If it were so!
SIR GEORGE: Nor perceive age in those they love.
PRINCESS: What a blessed creed!
SIR GEORGE: Yes.

QI believes that playwright Pinero should be credited with the remark under investigation. The linkages of the quotation to Benjamin Franklin and Dorothy Canfield Fisher were not supported with substantive citations.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

The Hottest Places in Hell Are Reserved for Those Who in a Period of Moral Crisis Maintain Their Neutrality

Dante Alighieri? John F. Kennedy? John A. Hutton? Theodore Roosevelt? W. M. Vines? Henry Powell Spring? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Dante Alighieri composed the famous tripartite epic poem “The Divine Comedy”. The following statement was supposedly included in the first part called “Inferno”:

The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who in time of moral crisis preserve their neutrality.

I have been unable to find this expression in any English translations of the poem. One webpage at Goodreads asserts that President John F. Kennedy attributed the remark to Dante. Another webpage at Goodreads claims that civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. made the ascription to Dante. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: Dante’s poem does include a section describing the fate of individuals who were neutral between good and evil. Their experiences were gruesome, but they were not placed in a location that was scorching hot.

Dante placed Satan at the lowest part of Hell which was at the center of the Earth, but that location was also not hot. Instead, Satan was trapped with ice around his waist.

QI believes that the statement under investigation evolved in a multistep process from a changing and imperfect interpretation of Dante’s work. In 1915 Theodore Roosevelt accurately wrote that Dante had “reserved a special place of infamy” for neutral angels. In 1917 a religious orator named W. M. Vines incorrectly stated that Dante had placed neutral individuals “in the lowest place in hell”.

In 1944 the spiritual writer Henry Powell Spring penned a book of aphorisms that included a statement ascribed to Dante that closely matched the modern quotation. John F. Kennedy used the saying several times in speeches in the 1950s and later. Kennedy also attributed the remark to Dante.

The remainder of this article consists of two main sections. First, selected citations are used to trace the expression chronologically. Second, a group of citations presents examples of the proposed denizens of the “worst place in hell”, “the hottest place in hell”, and “the very heart of hell”.

Thanks to top researcher Barry Popik for his valuable pioneering exploration of this topic.[ref] Website: The Big Apple, Article title: “The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who…maintain their neutrality”, Date on website: November 21, 2009, Website description: Etymological dictionary with more than 10,000 entries. (Accessed barrypopik on January 14, 2015) link [/ref]

Continue reading “The Hottest Places in Hell Are Reserved for Those Who in a Period of Moral Crisis Maintain Their Neutrality”

The Golden Rule: Whoever Has the Gold Makes the Rules

Wizard of Id? Jafar? Brant Parker? Johnny Hart? Dick Boland? Jack Caprio? Jesse Jackson? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: The Golden Rule is a famous ethical principle that can be stated as follows:

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

Several different lampoons and parodies have been constructed based on this moral directive. I am interested in the origin of the following spoof version:

The person who has the gold makes the rules.

Do you know who crafted this mordant remark?

Quote Investigator: In 1964 the comic strip “Wizard of Id” was launched with Johnny Hart as the primary writer and Brant Parker as the primary illustrator. On May 3, 1965 a four-panel strip presenting the satirical golden rule was published in “The Dallas Morning News” and many other newspapers.[ref] 1965 May 3, Dallas Morning News, Comic Strip Name: Wizard of Id, Comic Strip Authors: Parker and Hart (Brant Parker and Johnny Hart), Section 2, Quote Page 9, Dallas, Texas. (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

In the first panel the diminutive tyrannical King character addressed his subjects from the balcony of his castle and emphasized the need for “peace and harmony”. In the second panel the King continued by stating “We must all live by The Golden Rule”. This caused some confusion in the third panel because his listeners were uncertain about the nature of The Golden Rule. In the fourth panel the troubadour character delivered the explanatory punchline. Boldface has been added to excerpts:

Whoever has the gold makes the rules.

This comic strip contained the earliest evidence of the joke located by QI.

This article continues with additional details and selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “The Golden Rule: Whoever Has the Gold Makes the Rules”

To Avoid Criticism, Say Nothing, Do Nothing, Be Nothing

Aristotle? Elbert Hubbard? William Pitt? Fred Shero? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Receiving criticism is an unpleasant experience, but it is also inevitable. If your actions in the world are significant then you will draw detractors. This notion is cleverly expressed in the following pointed remark:

To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.

This statement of anti-advice has been attributed to two very different figures: the ancient Greek sage Aristotle and the American aphorist publisher Elbert Hubbard. Who do you think deserves credit?

Quote Investigator: QI has not found any substantive evidence to support an ascription to Aristotle.

The earliest strong match located by QI appeared in an 1898 collection of short essays titled “Little Journeys to the Homes of American Statesmen” by Elbert Hubbard. A piece about the abolitionist politician William H. Seward noted that he was the target of an assassination attempt. But Hubbard suggested that one must brave censure and danger to live a full and meaningful life. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[ref] 1898, Little Journeys to the Homes of American Statesmen by Elbert Hubbard, Section: William H. Seward, Start Page 363, Quote Page 370, G. P. Putnam’s Sons, New York; The Knickerbocker Press, New York. (Edition copyright 1898; Reprint date November 1901) (HathiTrust Full View) link link [/ref]

If you would escape moral and physical assassination, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing—court obscurity, for only in oblivion does safety lie.

Hubbard crafted multiple versions of the expression, and the saying was often attributed to him in the early decades of the 1900s.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Niagara Falls: The First Great Disappointment in Married Life

Oscar Wilde? Ann Landers? Gershon Legman? Anonymous? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: In 1882 the coruscating wit Oscar Wilde came to the United States to see the country and to conduct a series of lectures. When he visited the Niagara Falls, a classic honeymoon destination, he was unimpressed. Here are two variants of a saying that has been attributed to him:

Niagara Falls is the first great disappointment in American married life.

Niagara Falls is the second great disappointment of the American bride.

I am having trouble finding a contemporaneous citation for either of these remarks. Are these really the words of Oscar Wilde?

Quote Investigator: Oscar Wilde saw the Niagara Falls in February 1882 and made a collection of serious and comical pronouncements about the hydrological wonder. The earliest evidence of a strongly matching statement located by QI appeared in an August 1883 interview printed in “The New York World” and reprinted in other newspapers. Wilde had returned to the U.S. to superintend the production of his play “Vera” in New York, and he spoke to a journalist from the periodical. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[ref] 1883 August 13, The Daily Patriot, Oscar Wilde Returns: In Commonplace Clothing and Shorn of His Glorious Locks, (Acknowledgement: “From Yesterday’s New York World”), Quote Page 2, Column 4, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

When the reporter hinted that American patriotism had been grievously wounded by Mr. Wilde’s criticism upon Niagara, the poet laughed and said modestly:

“Niagara will survive any criticism of mine. I must say this, however, that it is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there.”

Wilde employed this quip about the waterfall in lectures that he later delivered in England and Ireland though the precise wording varied.

QI has found no substantive evidence that Wilde employed the variant joke with the phrase “second great disappointment”. It was in circulation by 1927, but this was many years after the death of Wilde in 1900. The variant was initially anonymous and then it was reassigned to Wilde probably because of confusion between the two similar jokes. Detailed information is given further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Niagara Falls: The First Great Disappointment in Married Life”

You Can’t Teach an Old Dogma New Tricks

Dorothy Parker? Life Magazine? Maxson Foxhall Judell? Edwin G. Nourse? Tom Lehrer? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: The following adage about age and recalcitrance is familiar to many:

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

I am trying to trace a comical wordplay variant:

You cannot teach an old dogma new tricks.

This statement is usually attributed to the notable acerbic writer Dorothy Parker. What do you think?

Quote Investigator: The saying was ascribed to Dorothy Parker in the 1968 volume “The Algonquin Wits” edited by Robert E. Drennan. The section about Parker included a miscellaneous collection of her witticisms, and the following was listed without any additional context:[ref] 1968, The Algonquin Wits, Edited by Robert E. Drennan, Section: Dorothy Parker, Quote Page 124, Citadel Press, New York. (Verified on paper)[/ref]

“You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.”

Parker died in 1967, and it would be nice to have an earlier linkage. Perhaps future research will discover a better citation for her. The earliest evidence of this wordplay schema located by QI employed a positive version of the saying instead of the common modern negative version.

In 1928 the humor magazine “Life” published a special issue that contained several sections that parodied popular contemporaneous periodicals such as “The Saturday Evening Post”, “True Stories”, “Collier’s”, “Time”, and “McCall’s”. The section based on the “Christian Herald” included an article titled “The Message of Clara Bow: How One Man Heard That Message and What He Did About It” that discussed the very popular movie star Clara Bow. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[ref] 1928 May 3, Life, (Special Parody Section: “With Apologies to ‘Christian Herald'”), The Message of Clara Bow: How One Man Heard That Message and What He Did About It, Start Page 63. Quote Page 63, Column 2, Published at the Life Office, New York. (ProQuest American Periodicals)[/ref]

Clara Bow comes to us like a breath of fresh air at a time when the lungs of civilization are clogged with the accumulated backwash of centuries of age-old traditions, age-old concepts, age-old dogmas. She has proved that you can teach an old dogma new tricks!

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “You Can’t Teach an Old Dogma New Tricks”

Lord Northcliffe Killed the Penny Dreadful by the Simple Process of Producing a Ha’Penny Dreadfuller

A. A. Milne? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: “Penny Dreadful” was the name given to a class of literature which emerged in the nineteenth century and was designed to appeal to young men and boys. I am trying to trace a comical saying about the eclipse of these serials. A publisher created a new lower-priced collection of booklets and periodicals that some believed was more lurid and sensational. The following quip described the situation:

He killed the penny dreadful by the simple process of producing the ha’penny dreadfuller.

Can you determine the identity of the publisher and the person who crafted this remark?

Quote Investigator: In 1948 the famous children’s author A.A. Milne wrote a review of a book titled “Boys Will Be Boys” in “The Sunday Times” of London. The book surveyed and discussed the “Penny Dreadful” literature, and Milne noted some of the complaints aimed at these works:[ref] 1948 October 10, The Sunday Times (UK), Blood and Thunder by A. A. Milne, (Review of “Boys Will Be Boys” by E. S. Turner), Quote Page 2, Column 8, London, England. (Sunday Times Digital Archive; Gale NewsVault)[/ref]

“Penny dreadfuls” have been the target of a good deal of wild shooting: from the leftish prig who condemned their snobbishness and patriotism to the righteous prig who condemned their idealisation of crime. Somewhere in between came the literary prig, who complained of their illiteracy.

In the review Milne also made the humorous observation which is under investigation. He named Lord Northcliffe as the inexpensive sensationalist publisher. Boldface has been added to excerpts:

It was Lord Northcliffe who killed the penny dreadful: by the simple process of producing a ha’penny dreadfuller. Rioting in its success, the editor of “The Marvel” quoted a letter “from a personal friend who has a son at Harrow. He informs me that at all the public schools there is a great rush for ‘The Halfpenny Marvel.'” I am afraid that I missed it; the rush must have been confined to Harrow. At my private school I read “The Boy’s Own Paper.”

Lord Northcliffe who was born Alfred Harmsworth was the founder of the popular British newspaper “The Daily Mail”. He acquired several important papers and became one of the most powerful publishing magnates in the English-speaking world.

Below is one additional selected citation together with the conclusion.

Continue reading “Lord Northcliffe Killed the Penny Dreadful by the Simple Process of Producing a Ha’Penny Dreadfuller”

Anyway, I Had a Better Year Than He Did

Babe Ruth? Tom Meany? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: A humorous story is told about the renowned baseball slugger Babe Ruth. He was negotiating his salary during the depths of the economic depression and was told that the amount he had requested was outlandish because it exceeded the remuneration given to Herbert Hoover who was the U.S. President. Ruth replied:

What’s Hoover got to do with it? Besides, I had a better year than he did.

I have not been able to find solid support for this tale. Is this anecdote accurate?

Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence known to QI was published in a 1947 biography titled “Babe Ruth: The Big Moments of the Big Fellow” by Tom Meany who was a New York sportswriter with a multi-decade career. Meany provided this description. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[ref] 1947, Babe Ruth: The Big Moments of the Big Fellow by Tom Meany, Chapter 10: The First Cut, Quote Page 139, Published by A. S. Barnes, New York. (Verified with scans; great thanks to John Van Hook and the University of Florida, Gainesville library system)[/ref]

Those writers who were closest to Ruth attempted to convince the slugger that this was no time to hold out, with millions unemployed and thousands on the point of actual starvation. How much did Babe want, anyway?

“Just what I’ve been getting for the last two seasons,” explained Ruth with what he thought was a great show of patience, “$8o,ooo.”

“$8o,ooo a year! In these times!” expostulated one of the writers. Don’t be silly, Babe. Why that’s more than Hoover gets for being president of the United States.”

“What the hell has Hoover got to do with this?” demanded the Babe. “Anyway, I had a better year than he did.”

The above citation was identified by top researchers Bill Mullins and Stephen Goranson. Librarian specialist John Van Hook of the University of Florida, Gainesville obtained scans. This entry also incorporates some of the excellent citations located by premier investigator Barry Popik.[ref] Website: The Big Apple, Article title: “I (Babe Ruth) had a better year than he (President Hoover) did”, Date on website: June 06, 2013, Website description: Etymological dictionary with more than 10,000 entries. (Accessed barrypopik on December 22, 2014) link [/ref] Thanks to all of them

Contemporary newspaper reports indicate that Ruth negotiated a two-year salary contract that paid $80,000 in 1930 and 1931. In 1932 he obtained $75,000 for his services. Interestingly, in 1933 he was willing to accept $55,000. Thus, if the tale was true then the disagreement probably occurred circa 1932. However, the first known account was published in 1947 which was rather late.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Anyway, I Had a Better Year Than He Did”