Quote Investigator® – Page 193

Quote Origin: Quotation Is a Serviceable Substitute for Wit

Oscar Wilde? W. Somerset Maugham? George Bernard Shaw? Voltaire? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: I thought you might enjoy the following remark attributed to Oscar Wilde:

Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.

I saw this on the goodreads website, but the source of the saying was not listed. Further searching led to the following similar comment attributed to Somerset Maugham:

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

This situation is confusing. Is either of these quotations genuine?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has found no substantive evidence that Oscar Wilde said or wrote either of these statements.

A version of the expression was included in the story “The Creative Impulse” by W. Somerset Maugham. This popular tale was reprinted several times and was even made into a television episode. Interestingly, the quote was not included in the first publication of the short story in Harper’s Bazaar magazine in 1926.¹

The story was revised, expanded, and published again in a 1931 collection called “Six Stories Written in the First Person Singular”. The expression was used when a character named Mrs. Albert Forrester was described. Boldface has been added:²

She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit, and having for thirty years known more or less intimately a great many distinguished people, she had a great many interesting anecdotes to tell, which she placed with tact and which she did not repeat more than was pardonable.

Note that the phrasing of the sentence above was awkward if one desired a concise and witty stand-alone quotation. Over time multiple versions of the saying were advanced.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Your Manuscript Is Good and Original, But What is Original Is Not Good; What Is Good Is Not Original

Samuel Johnson? Martin Sherlock? Johann Heinrich Voss? Gotthold Ephraim Lessing? Richard Brinsley Sheridan? Daniel Webster? Samuel Wilberforce

Question for Quote Investigator: The great lexicographer Dr. Samuel Johnson is credited with a famously devastating remark about a book he was evaluating:

Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good.

I have never found a source for this quotation in the writings of Johnson, and I have become skeptical about this attribution. Do you know if he wrote this?

Reply from Quote Investigator: No substantive evidence has emerged to support the ascription to Samuel Johnson. In this article QI will trace the evolution of this saying and closely related expressions which have been attributed to a variety of prominent individuals. The following four statements have distinct meanings, but they can be clustered together semantically and syntactically.

What is new is not good; and what is good is not new.
What is new is not true; and what is true is not new.
What is original is not good; what is good is not original.
What is new is not valuable; what is valuable is not new.

The earliest evidence known to QI of a member of this cluster appeared in 1781 and was written by Reverend Martin Sherlock who was reviewing a popular collection of didactic letters published in book form. Lord Chesterfield composed the letters and sent them to his son with the goal of teaching him to become a man of the world and a gentleman. Sherlock was highly critical:¹

His principles of politeness are unexceptionable; and ought to be adopted by all young men of fashion; but they are known to every child in France; and are almost all translated from French books. In general, throughout the work, what is new is not good; and what is good is not new.

This expression was similar to the one attributed to Samuel Johnson. The word “new” was used instead of “original”. Yet, this passage did not include the humorous prefatory phrase which would have labeled the work “both new and good” before deflating it.

In the 1790s a German version of the saying using “new” and “true” was published in a collection by the translator and poet Johann Heinrich Voss. This instance did include a prefatory phrase stating that the “book teaches many things new and true”:²

Dein redseliges Buch lehrt mancherlei Neues und Wahres,
Wäre das Wahre nur neu, wäre das Neue nur wahr!

Here is an English translation:³

Your garrulous book teaches many things new and true,
If only the true were new, if only the new were true!

In 1800 a reviewer in “The British Critic” lambasted a book using a version of the brickbat with “new” and “good”:⁴

In this part there are some good and some new things; but the good are not new, and the new are not good. Much time is employed in considering the opinion of the poet du Belloy, at present forgotten and of little consequence, who professed to prefer the French to the ancient languages.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Any Idiot Can Face a Crisis; It’s This Day-To-Day Living That Wears You Out

Anton Chekhov? Clifford Odets? Bing Crosby? George Seaton? Jean Webster? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Anton Chekhov, the brilliant Russian writer of stories and plays, reportedly said the following:

Any idiot can face a crisis; it’s this day-to-day living that wears you out.

I have been unable to locate a source for this statement. I even asked my Slavicist friend to look for it in the original Russian works, and she was unable to find it. Would you please examine its provenance?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI believes that this quotation and ascription are incorrect. The statement entered circulation because of a sequence of at least two errors.

The first appearance of a partial match for the quotation was a line spoken by Bing Crosby during the 1954 film “The Country Girl”. Crosby played a character named Frank Elgin who was an alcoholic attempting to return to show business. A self-destructive episode of drinking in Boston nearly derailed the comeback attempt, and near the end of the film the character discussed his probability of achieving success. Boldface has been added to excerpts:¹

I faced a crisis up there in Boston, and I got away with it. Just about anybody can face a crisis. It’s that everyday living that’s rough.
I’m not sure I can lick it, but I think I got a chance.

“The Country Girl” movie was based on a play written by Clifford Odets which was adapted to film by George Seaton. Thus, the line above was connected to Odets, and this was a key step in the multistep process of misattribution as shown by the next citation.

In 1971 a textbook titled “The Tradition of the Theatre” which was edited by the educators Peter Bauland and William Ingram was published. This volume was an anthology of plays, and it included a translation of Anton Chekhov’s famous drama “The Cherry Orchard”. The textbook authors wrote an introduction to the play, and the quotation under investigation was printed in this preparative text. The words were ascribed to the American dramatist Clifford Odets and not to Anton Chekhov:²

A character in a Hollywood film of the 1950’s casually drops this line: “Any idiot can face a crisis; it’s this day-to-day living that wears you out.” The screenplay was by Clifford Odets, America’s chief inheritor of the dramatic tradition of Anton Chekhov, and in that one line, he epitomized the lesson of his master.

QI conjectures that the quotation above was constructed from a flawed memory of the line in “The Country Girl” film. The textbook referred to a screenplay by Odets, but as noted previously the screenplay was by Seaton, and the play by Odets. QI has examined the edition of the play published in 1951, and the film line was absent. In addition, the modern quotation was absent; hence, QI would credit Seaton with the line.³

Another error contributed to the creation of the misquotation. A confused or inattentive reader assigned the quotation above to Chekhov instead of Odets. This combination of faults produced the expression and ascription presented by the questioner.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: When He Turned Out the Light He Was in Bed Before the Room Was Dark

Muhammad Ali? Satchel Paige? Cool Papa Bell? Hablarias? Moran and Mack? Abbott and Costello? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Renowned heavyweight boxing champion Muhammad Ali was famous for his witty remarks which included humorous boasts such as this:

I’m so fast I hit the light switch in my room and jump into bed before my room goes dark.

Yet, I believe that I heard a similar comical description employed by the famous baseball pitcher Satchel Paige who used it when characterizing another lightning-fast pitcher named James (Cool Papa) Bell. Could you explore this expression?

Reply from Quote Investigator: By the 1970s Muhammad Ali was using this jocular hyperbolic self-description. Some years earlier, in the 1960s Satchel Paige was using this gag when discussing James (Cool Papa) Bell. Interestingly, the remark has a very long history.

The earliest instance located by QI was printed in 1917 in “The Marines Magazine”, a monthly for United States Marine Corps personnel. A correspondent from Fort Mifflin, Pennsylvania using the pseudonym Hablarias employed the jape:¹

Corporal Smith is still in training and, believe me, he is some speed merchant. Here is one record he holds: It is 20 feet from the switchboard to his pile of alfalfa and he can switch off the lights and be back in bed before the room gets dark!

In 1919 an article covering the vaudeville circuit in the Chicago Tribune stated that the comedy team of Moran and Mack were using a version of the joke:²

“Are you quick?”
“Am I quick? Why, man, when I go to bed at night and turn out the light I’m in bed before the room is dark.”

In 1920 a newspaper in Kansas printed the remarkable tale of swiftness. Many individuals still relied on gas lighting rather than electric lighting in that year:³

An Atchison woman: “I’ll say my husband is fast. He is so fast that when he turns off the gas light he is in bed before the room gets dark.”— Atchison Globe.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Showing Up Is 80 Percent of Life

Woody Allen? Marshall Brickman? Donkey Hotey? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: I am trying to track down the origin of a quotation about success in life that has divaricated into many versions. Here are some examples:

Ninety percent of success is just showing up.
Showing up is 80 percent of life.
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Seventy-five percent of life is showing up.
In life, 50% of it is showing up.

Some of these expressions are credited to the famous comedian and director Woody Allen, but I have not located a solid citation. Could you explore the provenance of these sayings?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest close match known to QI was printed in the New York Times in August 1977. Woody Allen and Marshall Brickman co-wrote the Oscar winning screenplay for the 1977 movie Annie Hall, and they were interviewed together by the journalist Susan Braudy. The following words were spoken by Marshall Brickman, but he attributed the adage to Woody Allen. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

I have learned one thing. As Woody says, ‘Showing up is 80 percent of life.’ Sometimes it’s easier to hide home in bed. I’ve done both.

This citation is given in two key reference works: The Yale Book of Quotations² and The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs³ both from Yale University Press.

In 1989 Woody Allen was asked about this saying by William Safire, the language columnist for the New York Times, and Allen replied with a letter in which he asserted: “I did say that 80 percent of success is showing up.” Hence, Allen accepted credit for a common variant of the expression using the word “success” instead of “life”. The details of this interesting cite are given further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: You Have To Kiss A Lot Of Frogs To Find Your Prince

The Stichery? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The classic fairy tale “The Frog Prince” is told with many different variations. In the most common modern version a Princess kisses a frog, and the animal is transformed into a handsome Prince. A humorous maxim has been constructed based on this scenario:

You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.
Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs to find a prince.
You sure have to kiss a lot of toads before Prince Charming comes along.
Before you meet the handsome Prince you’ve gotta kiss a lot of toads.

Some instances of the adage use the word “toad” instead of “frog”. Perhaps these versions are meant to emphasize the repulsiveness of the amphibious creature. Can you determine who coined this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This entertaining saying is listed in the valuable reference work “The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs”¹ from Yale University Press with an initial citation in February 1976. QI has been able to improve this slightly with a cite in December 1975 in “Better Homes and Gardens” magazine. Interestingly, the earliest instances use “toad” and not “frog”.

The expression appeared in an advertisement from a company selling needlepoint patterns called The Stitchery of Wellesley Hills, Massachusetts. The picture above shows a black and white microfilm image from the magazine ad, and adjacent to it is a pillow with a similar pattern that was sold in 2009 on the website Etsy which specializes in handmade and vintage items. The words on the pillow read:²

BEFORE YOU MEET THE HANDSOME PRINCE, YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF TOADS!

The advertising copy described the piece:

HANDSOME PRINCE TO NEEDLEPOINT
“… You have to kiss a lot of toads.” The kit to make this delightful needlepoint piece for pillow top or picture includes design in color on 12-mesh white canvas, Persian yarns to work the design in green, black, red, yellow, white and cream-colored background, needle and directions.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Whiskey Is for Drinking; Water Is for Fighting Over

Mark Twain? Warren Neufeld? Bruce Babbitt? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Fresh water is an essential resource, and the battles over water rights in the Western region of the United States can be bruising. Famed humorist Mark Twain is often given credit for an incisively funny remark about this. Here are three versions:

Whiskey is for drinking and water is for fighting over.
Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting.
Whisky’s for drinkin’ and water’s for fightin’.

However, I have never seen a pointer to a document or book from Twain’s time period containing this expression. Is this another fake Twain quotation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Multiple researchers have examined this saying and there is no substantive evidence that Mark Twain said or wrote it. The website TwainQuotes.com edited by Barbara Schmidt is an important reference tool for checking statements ascribed to Twain, and Schmidt notes:¹

This quote has been attributed to Mark Twain, but until the attribution can be verified, the quote should not be regarded as authentic.

Twain died in 1910, and the earliest evidence of the expression located by QI was quite modern. In April 1983 the Aberdeen American News of Aberdeen, South Dakota printed the saying. The words were spoken by the head of a government agency named Warren Neufeld, but the context suggested he was employing an anonymous adage. Twain was not mentioned:²

“Whiskey is for drinking and water is for fighting.” Those words were a realism in South Dakota until a few years ago, says Warren (Bob) Neufeld, secretary of the South Dakota Department of Water and Natural Resources.

In the Summer 1983 issue of “Western Wildlands: A Natural Resource Journal” a periodical from Missoula, Montana an article titled “River Conservation in the 1980s” by Christopher N. Brown was published. A version of the maxim was printed in the table of contents and ascribed to Twain:³

Mark Twain was more than prescient when he said: “Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over.”

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Life Is Not a Rehearsal

Drake? Lawrence T. Holman? Chet Huntley? Katharine Ross? Rose Tremain? Wayne Dyer? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: William Shakespeare said “All the world’s a stage”, and the metaphor of life as a theatrical performance has a very long history. The quotation that interests me fits in this metaphorical framework, but I think it was coined recently:

Life is not a dress rehearsal.
This is your life, not a dress rehearsal.
Life is not a rehearsal.
And life ain’t a rehearsal the camera’s always rollin’.

Can you tell me who originated this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This is a modern proverb that may not be traceable to an individual. The earliest evidence located by QI was printed in 1953 in the Covina Argus-Citizen newspaper of Covina California. Pastor Lawrence T. Holman of the Church of the Nazarene used the expression as the title of an evening sermon:¹

7:30 p.m. — EVANGELISTIC SERVICE. Special songs by “Jad” Scroggins. Sermon by the pastor: “LIFE IS NOT A DRESS REHEARSAL!”

In 1972 an advertisement for a real estate development in Big Sky, Montana used a version of the adage. The resort area was conceived by Chet Huntley who was a prominent television journalist and anchorman. The ad was aimed at executives looking for homesites offering recreational activities such as skiing, fishing, golf, tennis, and riding.²

You’re too busy running to catch planes, running to catch cabs and trying to stop running long enough to catch lunch.

Well, it’s time you realized this isn’t a dress rehearsal. This is your life.

It’s time you were introduced to Chet Huntley’s Big Sky: Over 10,000 acres of the most beautiful country in this world.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Give a Girl the Right Shoes and She Can Conquer the World

Marilyn Monroe? Bette Midler? Anonymous? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: There is a picture on several Pinterest pinboards and Tumblrs that shows a young girl walking in oversized shoes with the following quotation superimposed on the image

Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world.
—Marilyn Monroe

A recent article on the Buzzfeed website expressed skepticism about this attribution. The staff member Gabby Noone stated: “There doesn’t seem to be any proof” that Monroe said it. What do you think?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Marilyn Monroe died in 1962, and QI has not found any substantive support that she made this remark.

The earliest evidence located by QI was published in a newspaper supplement called “Family Weekly” in January 1980. A regular feature titled “Ask Them Yourself” printed questions for celebrities together with their answers.¹ The multi-award-winning singer-songwriter and actress Bette Midler was asked about shoes:²

Is it true that you really have a passion for shoes? If so, what kind do you prefer? — O.L., Sacramento, Calif.

The spike-heeled kind. They’re not always easy to find. I firmly believe that with the right footwear one can rule the world. Fortunately for the world, I have not found the correct footwear to achieve that goal. However, shoe stores across the nation can attest to my sincere and persistent efforts in that direction.

The phrasing above differed from the modern quotation, but Midler’s humorous remark still yielded a close match. By 1985 another statement was being credited to Midler, and this version gave an even closer match with “correct footwear” substituted for “right shoes”:³

“Give a girl the correct footwear and she can conquer the world.”
– Bette Midler

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: When I Saw You I Fell in Love, and You Smiled Because You Knew

William Shakespeare? Arrigo Boito? Jeane Westin? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: I have a question about a quotation depicting communication between lovers. The following words are often ascribed to William Shakespeare:

When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew.

Sometimes the play Romeo and Juliet is named as the source, but I have not been able to find this line in the famous story of star-crossed lovers. I performed a comprehensive computer search to look through the entire corpus of Shakespeare’s plays and sonnets and was unable to find this quote. Did the Bard write this statement?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1893 the Italian-language opera Falstaff with music by the influential Romantic composer Giuseppe Verdi was first performed. The work was a lyrical comedy in three acts with a libretto by Arrigo Boito that was based on The Merry Wives of Windsor by William Shakespeare plus some material from King Henry IV.¹

In Act 2, Part 2 of the opera the character Fenton says the following to the character Nannetta:²

Come ti vidi
M’innamorai,
E tu sorridi
Perchè lo sai.

These Italian words can be translated into English in several different ways. This version is popular today:

When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew.

The confusion between attributing the statement to William Shakespeare and Arrigo Boito is understandable because the opera Falstaff was derived from Shakespeare’s oeuvre, but QI has not found the line above in the original plays by the Bard.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.