Quote Investigator® – Page 196

Quote Origin: When He Turned Out the Light He Was in Bed Before the Room Was Dark

Muhammad Ali? Satchel Paige? Cool Papa Bell? Hablarias? Moran and Mack? Abbott and Costello? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Renowned heavyweight boxing champion Muhammad Ali was famous for his witty remarks which included humorous boasts such as this:

I’m so fast I hit the light switch in my room and jump into bed before my room goes dark.

Yet, I believe that I heard a similar comical description employed by the famous baseball pitcher Satchel Paige who used it when characterizing another lightning-fast pitcher named James (Cool Papa) Bell. Could you explore this expression?

Reply from Quote Investigator: By the 1970s Muhammad Ali was using this jocular hyperbolic self-description. Some years earlier, in the 1960s Satchel Paige was using this gag when discussing James (Cool Papa) Bell. Interestingly, the remark has a very long history.

The earliest instance located by QI was printed in 1917 in “The Marines Magazine”, a monthly for United States Marine Corps personnel. A correspondent from Fort Mifflin, Pennsylvania using the pseudonym Hablarias employed the jape:¹

Corporal Smith is still in training and, believe me, he is some speed merchant. Here is one record he holds: It is 20 feet from the switchboard to his pile of alfalfa and he can switch off the lights and be back in bed before the room gets dark!

In 1919 an article covering the vaudeville circuit in the Chicago Tribune stated that the comedy team of Moran and Mack were using a version of the joke:²

“Are you quick?”
“Am I quick? Why, man, when I go to bed at night and turn out the light I’m in bed before the room is dark.”

In 1920 a newspaper in Kansas printed the remarkable tale of swiftness. Many individuals still relied on gas lighting rather than electric lighting in that year:³

An Atchison woman: “I’ll say my husband is fast. He is so fast that when he turns off the gas light he is in bed before the room gets dark.”— Atchison Globe.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Showing Up Is 80 Percent of Life

Woody Allen? Marshall Brickman? Donkey Hotey? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: I am trying to track down the origin of a quotation about success in life that has divaricated into many versions. Here are some examples:

Ninety percent of success is just showing up.
Showing up is 80 percent of life.
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Seventy-five percent of life is showing up.
In life, 50% of it is showing up.

Some of these expressions are credited to the famous comedian and director Woody Allen, but I have not located a solid citation. Could you explore the provenance of these sayings?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest close match known to QI was printed in the New York Times in August 1977. Woody Allen and Marshall Brickman co-wrote the Oscar winning screenplay for the 1977 movie Annie Hall, and they were interviewed together by the journalist Susan Braudy. The following words were spoken by Marshall Brickman, but he attributed the adage to Woody Allen. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

I have learned one thing. As Woody says, ‘Showing up is 80 percent of life.’ Sometimes it’s easier to hide home in bed. I’ve done both.

This citation is given in two key reference works: The Yale Book of Quotations² and The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs³ both from Yale University Press.

In 1989 Woody Allen was asked about this saying by William Safire, the language columnist for the New York Times, and Allen replied with a letter in which he asserted: “I did say that 80 percent of success is showing up.” Hence, Allen accepted credit for a common variant of the expression using the word “success” instead of “life”. The details of this interesting cite are given further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: You Have To Kiss A Lot Of Frogs To Find Your Prince

The Stichery? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The classic fairy tale “The Frog Prince” is told with many different variations. In the most common modern version a Princess kisses a frog, and the animal is transformed into a handsome Prince. A humorous maxim has been constructed based on this scenario:

You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.
Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs to find a prince.
You sure have to kiss a lot of toads before Prince Charming comes along.
Before you meet the handsome Prince you’ve gotta kiss a lot of toads.

Some instances of the adage use the word “toad” instead of “frog”. Perhaps these versions are meant to emphasize the repulsiveness of the amphibious creature. Can you determine who coined this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This entertaining saying is listed in the valuable reference work “The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs” from Yale University Press with an initial citation in February 1976.¹ QI has been able to improve this slightly with a cite in December 1975 in “Better Homes and Gardens” magazine. Interestingly, the earliest instances use “toad” and not “frog”.

The expression appeared in an advertisement from a company selling needlepoint patterns called The Stitchery of Wellesley Hills, Massachusetts. The picture above shows a black and white microfilm image from the magazine ad, and adjacent to it is a pillow with a similar pattern that was sold in 2009 on the website Etsy which specializes in handmade and vintage items. The words on the pillow read:²

BEFORE YOU MEET THE HANDSOME PRINCE, YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF TOADS!

The advertising copy described the piece:

HANDSOME PRINCE TO NEEDLEPOINT
“… You have to kiss a lot of toads.” The kit to make this delightful needlepoint piece for pillow top or picture includes design in color on 12-mesh white canvas, Persian yarns to work the design in green, black, red, yellow, white and cream-colored background, needle and directions.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Whiskey Is for Drinking; Water Is for Fighting Over

Mark Twain? Warren Neufeld? Bruce Babbitt? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Fresh water is an essential resource, and the battles over water rights in the Western region of the United States can be bruising. Famed humorist Mark Twain is often given credit for an incisively funny remark about this. Here are three versions:

Whiskey is for drinking and water is for fighting over.
Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting.
Whisky’s for drinkin’ and water’s for fightin’.

However, I have never seen a pointer to a document or book from Twain’s time period containing this expression. Is this another fake Twain quotation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Multiple researchers have examined this saying and there is no substantive evidence that Mark Twain said or wrote it. The website TwainQuotes.com edited by Barbara Schmidt is an important reference tool for checking statements ascribed to Twain, and Schmidt notes:¹

This quote has been attributed to Mark Twain, but until the attribution can be verified, the quote should not be regarded as authentic.

Twain died in 1910, and the earliest evidence of the expression located by QI was quite modern. In April 1983 the Aberdeen American News of Aberdeen, South Dakota printed the saying. The words were spoken by the head of a government agency named Warren Neufeld, but the context suggested he was employing an anonymous adage. Twain was not mentioned:²

“Whiskey is for drinking and water is for fighting.” Those words were a realism in South Dakota until a few years ago, says Warren (Bob) Neufeld, secretary of the South Dakota Department of Water and Natural Resources.

In the Summer 1983 issue of “Western Wildlands: A Natural Resource Journal” a periodical from Missoula, Montana an article titled “River Conservation in the 1980s” by Christopher N. Brown was published. A version of the maxim was printed in the table of contents and ascribed to Twain:³

Mark Twain was more than prescient when he said: “Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over.”

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Life Is Not a Rehearsal

Drake? Lawrence T. Holman? Chet Huntley? Katharine Ross? Rose Tremain? Wayne Dyer? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: William Shakespeare said “All the world’s a stage”, and the metaphor of life as a theatrical performance has a very long history. The quotation that interests me fits in this metaphorical framework, but I think it was coined recently:

Life is not a dress rehearsal.
This is your life, not a dress rehearsal.
Life is not a rehearsal.
And life ain’t a rehearsal the camera’s always rollin’.

Can you tell me who originated this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This is a modern proverb that may not be traceable to an individual. The earliest evidence located by QI was printed in 1953 in the Covina Argus-Citizen newspaper of Covina California. Pastor Lawrence T. Holman of the Church of the Nazarene used the expression as the title of an evening sermon:¹

7:30 p.m. — EVANGELISTIC SERVICE. Special songs by “Jad” Scroggins. Sermon by the pastor: “LIFE IS NOT A DRESS REHEARSAL!”

In 1972 an advertisement for a real estate development in Big Sky, Montana used a version of the adage. The resort area was conceived by Chet Huntley who was a prominent television journalist and anchorman. The ad was aimed at executives looking for homesites offering recreational activities such as skiing, fishing, golf, tennis, and riding.²

You’re too busy running to catch planes, running to catch cabs and trying to stop running long enough to catch lunch.

Well, it’s time you realized this isn’t a dress rehearsal. This is your life.

It’s time you were introduced to Chet Huntley’s Big Sky: Over 10,000 acres of the most beautiful country in this world.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Give a Girl the Right Shoes and She Can Conquer the World

Marilyn Monroe? Bette Midler? Anonymous? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: There is a picture on several Pinterest pinboards and Tumblrs that shows a young girl walking in oversized shoes with the following quotation superimposed on the image

Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world.
—Marilyn Monroe

A recent article on the Buzzfeed website expressed skepticism about this attribution. The staff member Gabby Noone stated: “There doesn’t seem to be any proof” that Monroe said it. What do you think?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Marilyn Monroe died in 1962, and QI has not found any substantive support that she made this remark.

The earliest evidence located by QI was published in a newspaper supplement called “Family Weekly” in January 1980.¹ A regular feature titled “Ask Them Yourself” printed questions for celebrities together with their answers. The multi-award-winning singer-songwriter and actress Bette Midler was asked about shoes:²

Is it true that you really have a passion for shoes? If so, what kind do you prefer? — O.L., Sacramento, Calif.

The spike-heeled kind. They’re not always easy to find. I firmly believe that with the right footwear one can rule the world. Fortunately for the world, I have not found the correct footwear to achieve that goal. However, shoe stores across the nation can attest to my sincere and persistent efforts in that direction.

The phrasing above differed from the modern quotation, but Midler’s humorous remark still yielded a close match. By 1985 another statement was being credited to Midler, and this version gave an even closer match with “correct footwear” substituted for “right shoes”:³

“Give a girl the correct footwear and she can conquer the world.”
– Bette Midler

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: When I Saw You I Fell in Love, and You Smiled Because You Knew

William Shakespeare? Arrigo Boito? Jeane Westin? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: I have a question about a quotation depicting communication between lovers. The following words are often ascribed to William Shakespeare:

When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew.

Sometimes the play Romeo and Juliet is named as the source, but I have not been able to find this line in the famous story of star-crossed lovers. I performed a comprehensive computer search to look through the entire corpus of Shakespeare’s plays and sonnets and was unable to find this quote. Did the Bard write this statement?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1893 the Italian-language opera Falstaff with music by the influential Romantic composer Giuseppe Verdi was first performed. The work was a lyrical comedy in three acts with a libretto by Arrigo Boito that was based on The Merry Wives of Windsor by William Shakespeare plus some material from King Henry IV.¹

In Act 2, Part 2 of the opera the character Fenton says the following to the character Nannetta:²

Come ti vidi
M’innamorai,
E tu sorridi
Perchè lo sai.

These Italian words can be translated into English in several different ways. This version is popular today:

When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew.

The confusion between attributing the statement to William Shakespeare and Arrigo Boito is understandable because the opera Falstaff was derived from Shakespeare’s oeuvre, but QI has not found the line above in the original plays by the Bard.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: They Asked Me What I Wanted To Be When I Grew Up. I Said ‘Happy’

John Lennon? Charles Schulz? Goldie Hawn? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Did musical superstar John Lennon really tell the following story about his childhood?

When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.

This tale appears on many websites, but I have never seen a pointer to an interview with Lennon or some other material supporting this account. What do you think?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has been unable to locate any substantive evidence connecting this heartfelt anecdote to John Lennon. The volunteer editors at Wikiquote relegated the passage to the “Unsourced” section of the “Discussion” page indicating that no supporting data had been discovered.¹

John Lennon died in 1980. A version of the text closely matching the words above was in circulation by November 2008 on a set of tumblrs. In the earliest matching instances found by QI the narrator was not named. Details are given further below.

Interestingly, the humorous kernel of this anecdote appeared in the very popular syndicated cartoon strip Peanuts which was written and illustrated by Charles M. Schulz. In January 1960 a strip was published showing a conversation between Charlie Brown and Linus van Pelt.² Charlie asks Linus whether he thinks much about the future. Linus replies that he does. Charlie asks what he wants to be when he grows up, and Linus replies “Outrageously happy!”:³

Great thanks to correspondent Jay Lund who told QI that he recalled reading a Peanuts cartoon on this topic in the 1960s.

The core of the anecdote was also presented as an autobiographical incident by Goldie Hawn, an Oscar winning actress and successful movie producer. In 1992 Hawn was profiled in Vanity Fair magazine, and she mentioned her response to a question about future goals:⁴

People used to ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I’d say ‘Happy!’ That was all I wanted to be.

In 2005 Hawn released the memoir “A Lotus Grows in the Mud” which included a vignette exhibiting several points of similarity with the anecdote under examination:⁵

Happiness was always important to me. Even at the young age of eleven, it was my biggest ambition. People would ask, “Goldie, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

“Happy,” I would reply, looking in their eyes.

“No, no,” they’d laugh. “That’s really sweet, but I mean . . . what do you want to be? A ballerina? An actress maybe?”

“I just want to be happy.”

The quizzical adults expected young Hawn to respond with the name of a profession or career, but she answered with something she thought was much more important, her desired mental state. Thus, Hawn’s bold guileless behavior in offering the single-word response “happy” matched the core of the anecdote.

Here is one additional citation and the conclusion.

Quote Origin: The Secret of Change Is to Focus All of Your Energy, Not on Fighting the Old, But on Building the New

Socrates? Dan Millman? All-Night Gas-Station Attendant? Nick Nolte? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: A friend recently offered me a piece of advice that he thought reflected ancient wisdom:

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.

These words were attributed to Socrates, but they sound like a modern incantation to me. Could you examine this quotation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1980 the first edition of “Way of the Peaceful Warrior” by the world-class gymnast Dan Millman was released. The book was a fictionalized memoir that explored the physical and mental challenges Millman faced in his early life and the spiritual growth he experienced. The main catalyst of his spiritual journey was an attendant at an all-night gas station who became his mentor in 1966. Millman gave this enlightened counselor the nickname “Socrates”, and the quotation above was spoken by the modern fictionalized character and not the ancient Socrates. Here is an excerpt containing the quote in the 1984 edition:¹

Back in the office, Socrates drew some water from the spring water dispenser and put on the evening’s tea specialty, rose hips, as he continued. “You have many habits that weaken you. The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”

The book was published in multiple editions, and was made into a movie in 2006 with Nick Nolte playing Socrates. Millman became a successful coach, self-help author, and lecturer.

The reassignment of the quotation to the Greek luminary was, no doubt, facilitated by confusion between the matching names. This is a known mechanism for misattribution. An illustrative example with a passage from a fictional Cicero was explored by QI here.

Here is one additional citation and the conclusion.

Quote Origin: Gold Gets Dug Out of the Ground; Then We Melt It Down, Dig Another Hole, Bury It Again

Warren Buffett? Frank Fellinger? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The funniest and most perceptive comment about the precious metal gold is attributed to the super-investor Warren Buffett:

Gold gets dug out of the ground in Africa, or some place. Then we melt it down, dig another hole, bury it again and pay people to stand around guarding it. It has no utility. Anyone watching from Mars would be scratching their head.

Did Buffett really say this?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence known to QI of this quotation in a major newspaper was printed in The Times of London in July 2003:¹

Warren Buffett, the renowned investor, famously dismissed gold in a speech given at Harvard in 1998. He said: “It gets dug out of the ground in Africa, or some place. Then we melt it down, dig another hole, bury it again and pay people to stand around guarding it. It has no utility. Anyone watching from Mars would be scratching their head.”

The five year gap between 1998 and 2003 weakens the probative value of this citation. QI has not yet located a transcript of the supposed 1998 speech. A statement from Buffett himself on this topic would be desirable.

So, QI reached out to the accomplished financial journalist Jason Zweig of the Wall Street Journal who contacted the personal assistant of Warren Buffett with an enquiry about the quotation. The assistant conferred with Buffett and sent the following reply:²

I double-checked this with Warren. He never writes out prepared speeches. But he has said things like this in the past.

This statement supported the attribution and corroborated multiple citations that name Buffett as originator of the expression; however, the answer was still not definitive. A cite with a date closer to 1998 giving more details of the speech would be welcomed by QI.

Pronouncements about gold and silver that conform to this theme have a very long history. In 1877 a newspaper in Galveston, Texas wrote about the “The Monetary Problem” using similar vocabulary and tropes. Remarkably, this passage from more than 135 years ago also included a puzzled alien creature:³

Look at the actual history of our metallic money; see at what great cost we procure it from its ores, coin it, pass it from hand to hand, finally to bury it again in the vault of some bank. The dust of centuries rests upon coin laid away in the Bank of England. A hundred millions are now buried under the Treasury building in Washington, and probably ever will be together with much more, for should the government ever accumulate enough to offer to redeem the greenback at par, nobody would present the greenbacks for redemption. The paper, being the more convenient money, would be kept and the gold and silver left to slumber where we have been at such pains to store it.

If a being from another world should come among us to study our habits, how he would be puzzled as he saw us with infinite labor obtain from deep in the earth a shining substance, zealously guard it to an establishment where it was cut into small pieces, and then hide the pieces where they could be neither seen nor touched; occasionally he would observe an expression of fear and anxiety upon our faces, we would rush wildly about, drag out our precious pieces and hide them elsewhere, and yet drag them out again and yet hide them elsewhere.

Thanks to top researcher Suzanne Watkins who found the marvelous citation above.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.