Quote Investigator® – Page 73

Quote Origin: I’m Drunk, But I’ll Get Over That Soon. You’re a Fool and You’ll Never Get Over That

John Bent? Navy Sailor? Drunken Fellow? Winston Churchill? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The state of inebriation is temporary, but the state of stupidity is durable. A clever dialog hinges on this fundamental difference:

“You are drunk.”
“Yes, and you are a fool. But I will be sober in the morning, and you will remain a fool.”

Would you please explore the provenance of this thrust and parry?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This comical interaction is a member of a family of anecdotes which famously includes a story about Winston Churchill’s jousting with an antagonist. A separate QI article centered on the Churchill anecdote and tales from the U.K Parliament can be read by following this link.

This article will center on the earliest matches located by QI. In 1863 the “Urbana Union” newspaper of Urbana, Ohio published the following short item. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The drunken fellow’s reply to the reprimand of a temperance lecture, delivered in some of the stupid forms of that order of men is worth remembering. “I’m drunk-but-I’ll get over that pretty soon; but you’re a fool-and you’ll never get over that.”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Puritanism Is the Haunting Fear That Someone, Somewhere, May Be Happy

H. L. Mencken? George Jean Nathan? Nellie McClung? Beverly Gray? John Cleese? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Here are four versions of a mordant definition of puritanism:

The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
The lurking fear that someone somewhere is happy.
The gnawing worry that someone somewhere might be happy.
The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be having a good time.

This quip has been attributed to the prominent journalist Henry Louis Mencken. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In January 1925 “The American Mercury” published a collection of items under the title “Clinical Notes” by H. L. Mencken and George Jean Nathan. The following remark appeared as a freestanding item. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Puritanism.—The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

The proper ascription to Mencken was clarified when the quotation appeared in his 1949 collection “A Mencken Chrestomathy”. The details are presented further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: When We’re Growing Up There Are All Sorts of People Telling Us What To Do . . .

Ellen Page? Lisa O’Kelly? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: I once heard an insightful remark about growing up from the prize-winning Canadian actress Ellen Page. I do not remember the exact phrasing. Roughly, she said that young people are often told what to do when they should be given space to decide what to become. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 2010 “The Guardian” newspaper of London published an interview of Ellen Page conducted by journalist Lisa O’Kelly. Page discussed the plot of the 2009 film “Whip It” in which she played a beauty pageant queen trying to please her mother. Her character secretly rebelled by joining a roller derby league. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

It is more that she loves her mother and wants to please her and that becomes the strongest dilemma for her: how to establish a sense of self while still fulfilling her obligations to other people. I can identify with that. When we’re growing up there are all sorts of people telling us what to do when really what we need is space to work out who to be.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Once a Newspaper Touches a Story, the Facts Are Lost Forever, Even To the Protagonists

Norman Mailer? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: U.S. journalist and best-selling novelist Norman Mailer once sardonically stated that when newspapers focus on a story the facts are lost forever; inevitably, even the participants lose track of the facts. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In June 1960 “Esquire” magazine published comments from Norman Mailer inspired by a photo essay. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

It was a dull, hot, newsless day in summer, so it made the newspapers. All too inaccurately according to the Dealers. Ten vicious juvenile delinquents beat up a cripple, went the jazz. “Hell, man, it wasn’t like that at all,” one of them said, “it was a fair rumble.” We’ll never know. Once a newspaper touches a story, the facts are lost forever, even to the protagonists.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: I Think of Beauty as an Absolute Necessity

Toni Morrison? Claudia Brodsky Lacour? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The theme of beauty is pivotal within the novels written by Nobel laureate Toni Morrison. She once stated that beauty was an absolute necessity. Would you please help me to find a citation.

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 2019 “The Paris Review” published a podcast that included an audio recording of Toni Morrison delivering the quotation. The podcast included the following description of the source of the audio:¹

. . . excerpts from our interview with Toni Morrison conducted by Claudia Brodsky Lacour in Morrison’s office at Princeton University sometime in 1992.

The following inquiry and response occurred during the interview. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:²

Claudia Brodsky Lacour: Your novels are known for their extraordinary beauty. The beauty of their language and their inclusion of beauty as part of life. How do you handle beauty in fiction.

Toni Morrison: This is something that has preoccupied me for a long time. I think of beauty as an absolute necessity. I don’t think it’s a privilege or an indulgence, it’s not even a quest. I think it’s almost like knowledge, which is to say, it’s what we were born for.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: A Gorgeous Bird is the Pelican, Whose Beak Will Hold More Than His Bellican

C. M. Marshton? Dixon Lanier Merritt? Ogden Nash? Jeff McLemore? Bennett Cerf? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: A comical poem about the pelican uses a creative rhyming scheme with the word “pelican” matched to the invented words “belican” (belly can) and “helican” (hell he can). Would you please explore the provenance of this work?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest instance of this poem known to QI appeared in “The Tampa Morning Tribune” of Florida on April 2, 1913. The words were ascribed to C. M. Marshton. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

It has remained for one rhymer to produce one little “piece” that saves the season from utter mediocrity. This benefactor dwells in Chicago and he has written a classic–one which merits conspicuous publication in all the high-class literary journals. The author is C. M. Marshton, one of the editors of the Chicago Record-Herald, and the “poem” was written and sent by him to relatives who were spending the winter at St. Petersburg . . .

At the risk of infringing on a copyright, the Tribune prints the masterpiece of the Florida poetry season of 1912-13. Here it is:

A gorgeous bird is the pelican,
Whose beak will hold more than his bellican.
He can put in his beak
Food enough for a week.
But I’m d—- if I see how in hellecan.

C. M. Marshton is the leading candidate for creator of this poem based on current evidence.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Fashion Is Architecture: It Is a Matter of Proportions

Coco Chanel? Marcel Haedrich? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Did the famous fashion designer and style arbiter Coco Chanel say that “fashion Is architecture”? Would you please help me to find a citation showing the context?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Coco Chanel died in 1971, and in that same year Marcel Haedrich authored a biography in French titled “Coco Chanel Secrète”. The following year Haedrich’s work was translated by Charles Lam Markmann and published under the title “Coco Chanel: Her Life, Her Secrets”. A section called “She Said” printed a collection of remarks from Chanel including the following adage. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Fashion is architecture: it is a matter of proportions.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Appalling Silence of the Good People

Martin Luther King Jr.? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Civil rights champion Martin Luther King Jr. expressed unhappiness with people who were unwilling to support his efforts due to apathy or fear. He used the phrase “appalling silence”. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1958 Martin Luther King Jr. published “Stride Toward Freedom: The Montgomery Story” which included the following pertinent passage. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

If the moderates of the white South fail to act now, history will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people. Our generation will have to repent not only for the acts and words of the children of darkness but also for the fears and apathy of the children of light.

King used the phrase several times as shown in the selected citations in chronological order listed below.

Quote Origin: The Problem With Television Is That the People Must Sit and Keep Their Eyes Glued on a Screen; the Average American Family Hasn’t Time for It

The New York Times? Orrin E. Dunlap Jr.? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Wildly inaccurate predictions are always amusing. Apparently, an article in “The New York Times” contended that television broadcasting would never surpass radio broadcasting because people would never be willing to sit and stare at a screen for hours on end. Would you please help me to find a citation.

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1939 “The New York Times” printed a piece titled “Act I, Scene I: Telecasts to Homes Begin on April 30—World’s Fair Will Be the Stage” by Orrin E. Dunlap Jr., a journalist who specialized in covering the radio industry. Dunlap spoke to the program director of the National Broadcasting Company who discussed the challenges of the new entertainment format. The intimacy of the television medium required a different style of performance. Broad theatrical gestures were unappealing to audiences. Newsman Dunlap also articulated the skepticism of radio broadcasters. Boldface added to excepts by QI:¹

The problem with television is that the people must sit and keep their eyes glued on a screen; the average American family hasn’t time for it. Therefore, the showmen are convinced that for this reason, if for no other, television will never be a serious competitor of broadcasting.

Dunlap correctly noted that radio allowed people to “listen and go about their household duties and routine”. Yet, that advantage was insufficient to hold back the burgeoning television age.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: If You Watch a Lot of TV, You’re Not Considered Well-Viewed

Lily Tomlin? Jane Wagner? Barbara Rowes? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: People who read numerous books are perceived positively by society. The term “well-read” implies knowledgeable and discerning. However, people who view television for endless hours are perceived negatively. The term “well-viewed” is uncommon. I have only heard it used within the punchline of a joke from comedian Lily Tomlin. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in the 1979 compilation “The Book of Quotes” edited by Barbara Rowes. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

If you read a lot of books, you’re considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well-viewed.
—Lily Tomlin

Interestingly, Lily Tomlin’s personal website includes a webpage listing a collection of jokes. The statement under investigation is ascribed to Jane Wagner who is Tomlin’s longtime collaborator and wife:²

If you read a lot of books, you’re considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well-viewed. – written by Jane Wagner for Lily’s act

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.