Alex Blechman? Ray Bradbury? Neal Stephenson? Mark Zuckerberg? Abe Murray? Anonymous?
Depiction of a mysterious crystal sphere from Unsplash.
Question for Quote Investigator: Science fiction is filled with cautionary fables and dystopian visions such as the murderous HAL 9000 computer of the movie “2001”, the relentless T-800 robot of the movie “The Terminator”, the disorienting cyberspace of the short story “Burning Chrome” by William Gibson, and the frenetic metaverse of the book “Snow Crash” by Neal Stephenson. Oddly, the current generation of technologists seem intent on bringing these visions to life.
Apparently, a humorist once described a joyful technologist who was celebrating the creation of the “Torment Nexus” even though the “Torment Nexus” was originally the frightening subject of an alarming science fiction story. Would you please help me to find a citation?
Reply from Quote Investigator: On November 28, 2021 writer Alex Blechman transmitted the following acerbic tweet. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1
Sci-Fi Author: In my book I invented the Torment Nexus as a cautionary tale
Tech Company: At long last, we have created the Torment Nexus from classic sci-fi novel Don’t Create The Torment Nexus
Alex Blechman’s profile on X-twitter stated the following as of January 2025:2
Writer, game designer x Staff Writer @TheOnion & @ClickHole Stuff for Jackbox Games, High On Life, Starship Troopers: TC, Saints Row, other places
Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.
Mark Twain? James Ross Clemens?Lowell Gleason? Roger Durrett? Apocryphal? Anonymous?
Picture of a box of cigars from Unsplash
Question for Quote Investigator: Mark Twain enjoyed smoking cigars. The following three closely related quips have been attributed to the famed humorist:
(1) If I cannot smoke in heaven, I shall not go there. (2) If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go. (3) If there is smoking in heaven, I want to go there.
I have not been able to find a solid citation. Would you please explore whether Twain employed any of these remarks?
Reply from Quote Investigator: Mark Twain died in 1910. In 1929 James Ross Clemens who was Twain’s cousin published “Some Reminiscences of Mark Twain” in the “Overland Monthly” of San Francisco, California. The following passage discussed Twain’s writing habits and credited him with an instance of the quip. Boldface added to excepts by QI:1
When bedtime overtook him at his desk working on a story he would leave the last sentence unfinished so as to preserve the continuity of thought when work was begun again the following morning. Three thousand words he considered a full day’s work.
His favorite nightmare he declared was being forbidden by his doctor to smoke. Dr. Sam Johnson used to say that he could not visualize the state of being dead because he could not imagine himself in a state where he would not receive letters and Mark was in much the same frame of mind as regards cigars. “If there is smoking in Heaven I want to go there,” he would fervidly exclaim.
Thus, there is substantive evidence that Mark Twain used the third expression listed above, but QI has not yet found substantive evidence that Twain used the first or second expressions. On the other hand, all three statements are semantically similar; hence, it is possible that he used more than one.
Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.
Question for Quote Investigator: Distinguishing between true friends and fair-weather friends can be difficult. A former U.S. president stated that he cherished most those who remained friends when he was facing adversity. They relieved the gloom of his darkest hours.
Apparently, Ulysses S. Grant said something like this. Would you please help me to find the correct phrasing together with a citation?
Reply from Quote Investigator: In January 1869 several newspapers reported comments made by Ulysses S. Grant to a journalist of “The World” in New York. Grant was asked his opinion of Elihu B. Washburne. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1
Washburne was my friend when I needed friends—when it was no advantage to be my friend, and when I had very few friends anywhere—scarcely any outside of the army. My friends are very numerous now. I often wonder how many of them would remain my friends if my position and patronage were taken away from me.
The friends of my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity. The newspapers cannot alienate me from Washburne by any abuse of him or ridicule of his supposed influence with and over me.
Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.
Jacqueline Carol? Lilian Baylis? John Lennon? Athol Fugard? Charles Olson? Maud Carpenter? Ronnie Barker? Anonymous?
Depiction of the letter F from Unsplash
Question for Quote Investigator: Exasperation or excitement produces the following exclamation which provides a capsule description of the human adventure:
Life with a capital F.
The “F” corresponds to the initial letter of the four-letter word for fornication. Yet, the phrase is ambiguous. Radically different interpretations occur when the letter corresponds to “freedom” or “fun”. Would you please explore the provenance of this expression?
Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in a 1960 memoir by Jacqueline Carol titled “Cocktails and Camels”. The following passage presented two interpretations. The first connected “F” to “freedom”, and the second alluded to the taboo word. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1
… the outspoken Beatrice shattered us all by saying, “I just love life with a capital F.” It seems she meant Freedom and not what the two one-track minds on either side of her thought she meant.
Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.
Question for Quote Investigator: The progress achieved in artificial intelligence (AI) during the 21st century has been remarkable. Billions of dollars have been spent to build supercomputers and to train AI systems. Yet, the rate of future progress is uncertain. A skeptic stated:
Deep learning is hitting a wall.
An enthusiast replied:
There is no wall.
Would you please help me to identify the people in this exchange and find precise citations?
Reply from Quote Investigator: In 2022 cognitive scientist and AI researcher Gary Marcus published an article in the popular science magazine “Nautilus” with the following provocative title:1
Deep Learning Is Hitting a Wall
The piece argued that the field of artificial intelligence was filled with hype and bravado. Also, current AI systems did not “genuinely understand human language” and displayed “nowhere near the ordinary day-to-day intelligence of Rosey the Robot” (from “The Jetsons” animated TV series of the 1960s).
The article said that the strategy of building larger systems with more chips and more data was “perhaps already approaching a point of diminishing returns”, and the AI field should pursue a neurosymbolic approach.
In November 2024 Sam Altman, the CEO of the leading AI company OpenAI tweeted the following riposte:2
1. Multiple media reports from multiple companies are reporting diminishing returns, exactly as I warned in 2022 in “deep learning is hitting a wall”.
2. If I am wrong, where is GPT-5?
From 2018 to 2024 OpenAI announced a series of models called GPT-1, GPT-2, GPT-3, GPT-3.5, GPT-4 and GPT-4o. But a model named GPT-5 was not released in 2024.
Beginning in September 2024 OpenAI announced a different series of models called o1 and o3. These models used more computation to ruminate about complex tasks. The o3 model achieved new high scores on difficult benchmark tests for mathematics, programming, and fluid intelligence.
Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.
Question for Quote Investigator: The things in life that you cannot directly see or touch are the most important, e.g., truth, justice, courage, compassion, and love. Apparently, former U.S. President Jimmy Carter said something like this. I do not know the precise phrasing. Would you please help me to find a citation with the proper wording?
Reply from Quote Investigator: In November 1991 the “Columbia Daily Tribune” of Missouri reported on a speech delivered by Jimmy Carter at Stephens College during which he extolled the value of volunteerism. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1
“What is a great person? What is a great life?” he asked. “It’s the things you can’t see or touch. Truth, fairness, justice, courage, sharing, compassion, love. Those are the elements of a great life. We have in this country the opportunity to share a great life.”
Carter made similar pronouncements on multiple occasions although the phrasing he employed was variable.
Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.
Voltaire? Cardinal Richelieu? Étienne François de Choiseul? Catharine Sedgwick? Marie-Henri Beyle? Lionel de Rothschild? Anonymous?
Picture of office windows from Mike Kononov at Unsplash
Question for Quote Investigator: Bankers in Switzerland are world-renowned for their financial acuity. Here are three remarks which illustrate this perception:
(1) If you ever see a Swiss banker jump out of a window, jump after him; there is a large profit to be made.
(2) If you see a Geneva banker jump out a window, follow him. There is money to be made on the way down.
(3) If you see a Zurich banker jumping out of a third story window, you may safely jump after him; you will be sure of making ten percent.
French philosopher Voltaire (François-Marie Arouet) has received credit for this quip. However, I have never seen a solid citation. Would you please explore the provenance of this saying?
Reply from Quote Investigator: The important 2021 reference work “The Quotable Voltaire” edited by Garry Apgar and Edward M. Langille included an entry for this quip. The scholars concluded: “Likely misattributed to Voltaire”.1
The joke is difficult to trace because it has many forms. The earliest match found by QI appeared in “The Gentleman’s Magazine” of London in 1783. The quotation appeared in French with an ascription to Cardinal Richelieu (Armand Jean du Plessis, 1st Duke of Richelieu). Boldface added to excerpts by QI:2
. . . he was amazed at their knowledge, yet he could not help thinking the saying of Cardinal Richelieu extremely applicable, “Si vous voyez un Genevois se jetter par la fenêtre, jettez vous y après; car soyez assuré qu’il y aura douze pour cent à gagner.”
Here is one possible translation into English :
“If you see a Genevan throw himself out of the window, throw yourself out afterwards; be assured that there will be twelve percent to be gained.”
Cardinal Richelieu died in 1642; hence, the evidence provided by the attribution above is very weak.
Voltaire died in 1778, and he received credit by 1807. This evidence is also weak. QI concurs with Apgar and Langille. QI would not credit Voltaire with the quip.
The Duke of Choiseul (Étienne François de Choiseul) died in 1785. He received credit by 1790. QI believes he is a plausible candidate for creator, but he was not named in the earliest citation, and the posthumous evidence is weak. Thus, based on current data QI would assign an anonymous ascription to this joke.
Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.
Picture of paint brushes from Alireza Valizadeh at Unsplash
Question for Quote Investigator: Engaging in art is not lucrative. The proportion of artists who become wealthy is minuscule. Yet, the psychological and spiritual rewards are immense. A prominent writer apparently said the following:
The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable.
These words have been attributed to the best-selling satirical novelist Kurt Vonnegut who wrote “Cat’s Cradle”, “Slaughterhouse-Five”, and the short story collection “Welcome to the Monkey House”. Would you please help me to find a citation?
Reply from Quote Investigator: This quotation appeared in an essay titled “Here is a lesson in creative writing” by Kurt Vonnegut within the 2005 collection “A Man Without a Country”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1
The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven’s sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.
Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.
Mark Twain? William Ralph Inge? Harry A. Thompson? Havelock Ellis? Anonymous?
Symbolic representation of debt from Unsplash
Question for Quote Investigator: Excessive worrying is debilitating to one’s mental health. Upsetting scenarios are often sidestepped, and the anguish was unnecessary. Here are three examples from a family of pertinent sayings:
(1) Worry is interest paid on trouble before it falls due (2) Worry is interest paid in advance on a debt you may never owe (3) Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe
This notion has been attributed to U.S. humorist Mark Twain and U.K. minister William Ralph Inge. However, I have not seen a solid citation. Would you please explore the provenance of this family?
Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in 1905 in “The Saturday Evening Post” of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania which printed a collection of humorous definitions including the following three items. Boldface added by QI:1
Ability — The explanation of your success. Luck — The explanation of the other fellow’s. Worry — Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
Harry A. Thompson received credit for this collection of definitions. Thompson was the associate editor of “The Saturday Evening Post”,2 and he is the leading candidate for creator of this quip although it remains possible that Thompson was simply compiling existing jokes.
The attribution to Mark Twain is unsupported. The quip does not appear on the Twain Quotes website edited by Barbara Schmidt.3 Also, the quip does not appear in the large compilation “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips” edited by Caroline Thomas Harnsberger.4 Twain died in 1910, and an attribution to him occurred in 1936.
William Ralph Inge did use an instance of the joke during a speech in 1932, but it was already in circulation. Thus, Inge helped to popularize the quip, but he did not create it.
Here is an overview of current research presenting a sequence of examples with dates, attributions, and phrasings. These sayings are not equivalent, but QI believes they evolved from a single seed expression:
1905 Nov 25: Harry A. Thompson Worry—Interest paid on trouble before it falls due
1906 Sep 20: Attributed to Harry A. Thompson Worry is the interest paid on trouble before it is due
1920 Sep 02: Anonymous Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due
1932 Feb 09: Speech delivered by William Ralph Inge Worry is interest paid on trouble before it falls due
1936 Jun 23: Attributed to Mark Twain Worry is the interest paid on trouble before it is due
1955 Oct 06: Letter to the Editor from E. A. Bontrager When you worry you just pay interest on nothing
1961 Oct 19: Attributed to Havelock Ellis Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due
1980 Apr 30: Anonymous Worry is like paying interest on a debt you don’t owe
1982 Sep 22: Newspaper column of Rusty Hofacket Worry is interest paid in advance on a debt you may never owe
1988 Jun 11: Attributed to Mark Twain Worry is interest paid in advance on a debt you may never owe
1990 Jan 15: Slogan on refrigerator Worrying is like paying interest on a debt you may never owe
2014 Oct 05: Attributed to Mark Twain Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.
Below are details for selected citations in chronological order.
James Matthew Barrie? Lord Byron? Harriet Mary Carey? Charlotte Elliot?Geoffrey Studdert Kennedy? Anonymous?
Picture of four pink roses from Pixabay
Question for Quote Investigator: Human memory allows us to reflect on past experiences. During the frigid months of winter we can recall the sight and fragrance of beautiful flowers blooming in spring. Here are four instances from a pertinent family of sayings:
(1) Memory was given to mortals so that they might have roses in December.
(2) God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December.
(3) God gave us memory that we might have roses in winter.
(4) Memory is the power to gather roses in winter.
This saying is usually attributed to Scottish author James Matthew Barrie, the creator of Peter Pan. However, I have not been able to find a solid citation, and I have become skeptical. Would you please explore the provenance of this saying?
Reply from Quote Investigator: James Matthew Barrie did use the second expression during a Rectorial Address he delivered at the University of St Andrews in Scotland on May 3, 1922; however, he disclaimed credit. Barrie specified an anonymous attribution. Boldface added to excerpt by QI:1
You have had many rectors here in St. Andrews who will continue in bloom long after the lowly ones such as I am are dead and rotten and forgotten. They are the roses in December; you remember someone said that God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December.
QI believes that this saying evolved over time, and the creator remains anonymous. Below are selected citations in chronological order.
