Quote Investigator® – Tracing Quotations

Quote Origin: If You See a Swiss Banker Jump Out of a Window, Jump Right After. There Is Bound To Be a Profit In It

Voltaire? Cardinal Richelieu? Étienne François de Choiseul? Catharine Sedgwick? Marie-Henri Beyle? Lionel de Rothschild? Anonymous?

**Picture of office windows from Mike Kononov at Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Bankers in Switzerland are world-renowned for their financial acuity. Here are three remarks which illustrate this perception:

(1) If you ever see a Swiss banker jump out of a window, jump after him; there is a large profit to be made.

(2) If you see a Geneva banker jump out a window, follow him. There is money to be made on the way down.

(3) If you see a Zurich banker jumping out of a third story window, you may safely jump after him; you will be sure of making ten percent.

French philosopher Voltaire (François-Marie Arouet) has received credit for this quip. However, I have never seen a solid citation. Would you please explore the provenance of this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The important 2021 reference work “The Quotable Voltaire” edited by Garry Apgar and Edward M. Langille included an entry for this quip. The scholars concluded: “Likely misattributed to Voltaire”.¹

The joke is difficult to trace because it has many forms. The earliest match found by QI appeared in “The Gentleman’s Magazine” of London in 1783. The quotation appeared in French with an ascription to Cardinal Richelieu (Armand Jean du Plessis, 1st Duke of Richelieu). Boldface added to excerpts by QI:²

. . . he was amazed at their knowledge, yet he could not help thinking the saying of Cardinal Richelieu extremely applicable, “Si vous voyez un Genevois se jetter par la fenêtre, jettez vous y après; car soyez assuré qu’il y aura douze pour cent à gagner.”

Here is one possible translation into English :

“If you see a Genevan throw himself out of the window, throw yourself out afterwards; be assured that there will be twelve percent to be gained.”

Cardinal Richelieu died in 1642; hence, the evidence provided by the attribution above is very weak.

Voltaire died in 1778, and he received credit by 1807. This evidence is also weak. QI concurs with Apgar and Langille. QI would not credit Voltaire with the quip.

The Duke of Choiseul (Étienne François de Choiseul) died in 1785. He received credit by 1790. QI believes he is a plausible candidate for creator, but he was not named in the earliest citation, and the posthumous evidence is weak. Thus, based on current data QI would assign an anonymous ascription to this joke.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Arts Are Not a Way to Make a Living. They Are a Very Human Way of Making Life More Bearable

Kurt Vonnegut? Apocryphal?

**Picture of paint brushes from Alireza Valizadeh at Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Engaging in art is not lucrative. The proportion of artists who become wealthy is minuscule. Yet, the psychological and spiritual rewards are immense. A prominent writer apparently said the following:

The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable.

These words have been attributed to the best-selling satirical novelist Kurt Vonnegut who wrote “Cat’s Cradle”, “Slaughterhouse-Five”, and the short story collection “Welcome to the Monkey House”. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This quotation appeared in an essay titled “Here is a lesson in creative writing” by Kurt Vonnegut within the 2005 collection “A Man Without a Country”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven’s sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Worry Is Like Paying Interest On a Debt You Don’t Owe

Mark Twain? William Ralph Inge? Harry A. Thompson? Havelock Ellis? Anonymous?

**Symbolic representation of debt from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Excessive worrying is debilitating to one’s mental health. Upsetting scenarios are often sidestepped, and the anguish was unnecessary. Here are three examples from a family of pertinent sayings:

(1) Worry is interest paid on trouble before it falls due
(2) Worry is interest paid in advance on a debt you may never owe
(3) Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe

This notion has been attributed to U.S. humorist Mark Twain and U.K. minister William Ralph Inge. However, I have not seen a solid citation. Would you please explore the provenance of this family?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in 1905 in “The Saturday Evening Post” of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania which printed a collection of humorous definitions including the following three items. Boldface added by QI:¹

Ability — The explanation of your success.
Luck — The explanation of the other fellow’s.
Worry — Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.

Harry A. Thompson received credit for this collection of definitions. Thompson was the associate editor of “The Saturday Evening Post”,² and he is the leading candidate for creator of this quip although it remains possible that Thompson was simply compiling existing jokes.

The attribution to Mark Twain is unsupported. The quip does not appear on the Twain Quotes website edited by Barbara Schmidt.³ Also, the quip does not appear in the large compilation “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips” edited by Caroline Thomas Harnsberger.⁴ Twain died in 1910, and an attribution to him occurred in 1936.

William Ralph Inge did use an instance of the joke during a speech in 1932, but it was already in circulation. Thus, Inge helped to popularize the quip, but he did not create it.

Here is an overview of current research presenting a sequence of examples with dates, attributions, and phrasings. These sayings are not equivalent, but QI believes they evolved from a single seed expression:

1905 Nov 25: Harry A. Thompson
Worry—Interest paid on trouble before it falls due

1906 Sep 20: Attributed to Harry A. Thompson
Worry is the interest paid on trouble before it is due

1920 Sep 02: Anonymous
Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due

1932 Feb 09: Speech delivered by William Ralph Inge
Worry is interest paid on trouble before it falls due

1936 Jun 23: Attributed to Mark Twain
Worry is the interest paid on trouble before it is due

1955 Oct 06: Letter to the Editor from E. A. Bontrager
When you worry you just pay interest on nothing

1961 Oct 19: Attributed to Havelock Ellis
Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due

1980 Apr 30: Anonymous
Worry is like paying interest on a debt you don’t owe

1982 Sep 22: Newspaper column of Rusty Hofacket
Worry is interest paid in advance on a debt you may never owe

1988 Jun 11: Attributed to Mark Twain
Worry is interest paid in advance on a debt you may never owe

1990 Jan 15: Slogan on refrigerator
Worrying is like paying interest on a debt you may never owe

2014 Oct 05: Attributed to Mark Twain
Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.

Below are details for selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: God Gave Us Memory So That We Might Have Roses in December

James Matthew Barrie? Lord Byron? Harriet Mary Carey? Charlotte Elliot? Geoffrey Studdert Kennedy? Anonymous?

**Picture of four pink roses from Pixabay**

Question for Quote Investigator: Human memory allows us to reflect on past experiences. During the frigid months of winter we can recall the sight and fragrance of beautiful flowers blooming in spring. Here are four instances from a pertinent family of sayings:

(1) Memory was given to mortals so that they might have roses in December.

(2) God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December.

(3) God gave us memory that we might have roses in winter.

(4) Memory is the power to gather roses in winter.

This saying is usually attributed to Scottish author James Matthew Barrie, the creator of Peter Pan. However, I have not been able to find a solid citation, and I have become skeptical. Would you please explore the provenance of this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: James Matthew Barrie did use the second expression during a Rectorial Address he delivered at the University of St Andrews in Scotland on May 3, 1922; however, he disclaimed credit. Barrie specified an anonymous attribution. Boldface added to excerpt by QI:¹

You have had many rectors here in St. Andrews who will continue in bloom long after the lowly ones such as I am are dead and rotten and forgotten. They are the roses in December; you remember someone said that God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December.

QI believes that this saying evolved over time, and the creator remains anonymous. Below are selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: If I Don’t Practice for One Day, I Know It; Two Days, the Critics Know It; Three Days, Everyone Knows It

Hans von Bülow? Niccolò Paganini? Jennie Fowler Willing? Maria Malibran? Charles Haddon Spurgeon? Anton Rubinstein? August Wilhelmj? Ole Bull? Ignacy Paderewski? Franz Liszt? Jascha Heifetz? Fritz Kreisler?

**Painting titled “The Violinist” by Theo van Rysselberghe circa 1903**

Question for Quote Investigator: There is a popular saying about the enormous importance of regularly engaging in practice to maintain prowess as a performer in music and other domains.

If a person skips practice for one day then the person becomes aware of a skill deficit. If the person continues to skip practice then the circle of awareness grows to include friends and colleagues. When practice is neglected for an extended period then everyone becomes aware of the decay in skill.

Would you please explore the provenance of this notion?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This saying can be expressed in many ways; hence, it is difficult to trace. Here is an overview of current research presenting a sequence of examples with dates, attributions, and phrasings. Some quotations use the U.S. spelling of “practice” and some use the British spelling of “practise”. Boldface added by QI:

1877 Sep: Attributed to pianist Hans von Bülow:
If I stop practice for one day, I notice it in my playing; if I stop two days, my friends notice it; if I stop three days, the public notices it.

1880 May: Attributed to violinist Niccolò Paganini:
If I discontinue my practice for a single day I discover it myself; if for two days my friends discover it; and if I do not practice for three days, the public find it out.

1885: Attributed to opera singer Maria Malibran:
If I neglect my practice a day, I see the difference in my execution. If for two days, my friends see it; and if for a week, all the world knows my failure.

1885 Sep: Attributed to an unnamed celebrated pianist by preacher Charles Haddon Spurgeon:
If I quit the piano one day I notice it; if I quit it two days my friends notice it; if I quit it three days the public notice it.

1888 Jan: Attributed to pianist Anton Rubinstein:
If he neglected to practise for one day, he noticed the difference; if for two days, his friends noticed it; if for week, the public would know it.

1889: Attributed to violinist August Wilhelmj:
If I neglect to practise for one day, I notice it; if for two days, my friends notice it; and if for three, the public notice it.

1894 Jul: Attributed to pianist Franz Liszt:
If I miss practicing one day, I know it; if I miss two days, my friends know it; and if I miss three days, the public knows it.

1925 Jan: Attributed to violinist Ole Bull:
If I don’t practice for a day, I know it; if I don’t for two days, my audience knows it.

1935 Sep: Attributed to pianist Ignacy Paderewski:
If I don’t practice for one day, I know it. If I miss two days, my friends know it; and if I miss three days, the whole world knows it.

1946 Dec: Attributed to pianist Franz Liszt by violinist Jascha Heifetz:
If I don’t practice one day, I know it; two days, the critics know it; three days, the public knows it.

1955 Feb: Attributed to violinist Fritz Kreisler:
If I don’t practice for a day, I know it; if I don’t practice for two days, my family knows it; if I don’t practice for a week, the world knows it.

1985 Mar: Described as an old adage by guitarist John McLaughlin:
If you don’t practice for a day, you know it; if you don’t play a few days, your colleagues know it; if you don’t play for a week, everybody knows it.

2015: Attributed to trumpeter Louis Armstrong:
If I don’t practice for a day, I know it. If I don’t practice for two days, the critics know it, and if I don’t practice for three days, the public knows it

Below are detailed citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: If Man Could Be Crossed With the Cat It Would Improve Man, But It Would Deteriorate the Cat

Mark Twain? Albert Bigelow Paine? Apocryphal?

**Picture of cats in a basket from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Apparently, Mark Twain adored cats. He once humorously wrote about genetically crossing cats and people. He concluded that the quality of people would be improved, but the quality of cats would deteriorate. Would you please help me to find the exact quotation together with a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Mark Twain maintained a set of notebooks to describe his experiences and to record fragments of his thoughts and ideas. In 1894 he penned the following. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Of all God’s creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

The text above appeared in the book “Mark Twain’s Notebook” which was edited by Albert Bigelow Paine and published posthumously in 1935. Paine was Twain’s biographer and literary executor. Paine examined Twain’s notebooks and selected a subset of passages to reprint in book form under the title “Mark Twain’s Notebook”.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: I Regret To Report That There Is Surely No Such Thing as a Fish

Stephen Jay Gould? George Lakoff? Delta Willis? Steven Pinker? Stephen Fry?

**Public domain illustration of a cladogram**

Question for Quote Investigator: A prominent scientist apparently made the following surprising pronouncement:

There is no such thing as a fish.

I do not recall the precise phrasing. Would you please explore the provenance and interpretation of this statement?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1981 paleontologist Stephen Jay Gould published a piece in “Natural History” magazine about cladistics which is a method for categorizing organisms based on common ancestry within a phylogenetic tree. A clade is a group of organisms which share a common ancestor. A cladogram is a tree diagram which represents the relationship between organisms.

In the following passage Gould referred to the English author Izaak Walton who wrote “The Compleat Angler” which is a famous book about fishing. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Some of our most common and comforting groups no longer exist if classifications must be based on cladograms. With apologies to Mr. Walton and to so many coastal compatriots in New England, I regret to report that there is surely no such thing as a fish.

About 20,000 species of vertebrates have scales and fins and live in water, but they do not form a coherent cladistic group. Some—the lungfishes and the coelacanth in particular—are genealogically close to the creatures that crawled out on land to become amphibians, reptiles, birds, and mammals.

In the passage above Gould was explaining the implications of rigorous cladistics. However, his viewpoint was more nuanced. Gould supported the continued use of the word “fish”:

The cladogram of trout, lungfish, and elephant is undoubtedly true as an expression of branching order in time. But must classifications be based only on cladistic information? A coelacanth looks like a fish, tastes like a fish, acts like a fish, and therefore — in some legitimate sense beyond hidebound tradition — is a fish.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Life Is Too Short To Learn German

Mark Twain? Oscar Wilde? Thomas Love Peacock? Algernon Falconer? Richard Porson?

**An open book with three roses from Pixabay**

Question for Quote Investigator: The complexities of the German language inspired the following comical statement:

Life is too short to learn German.

This statement has been attributed to U.S. humorist Mark Twain, Irish playwright Oscar Wilde, English satirist Thomas Love Peacock, and English classical scholar Richard Porson. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match known to QI appeared in the satirical novel “Gryll Grange” by Thomas Love Peacock. The work was serialized in “Fraser’s Magazine”¹ of London in 1860 and published as a book in 1861.

A fictional character named Algernon Falconer uttered the statement while he was discussing his library which centered on books in English, Greek, Latin, Italian, and French, but not German. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:²

It was a dictum of Porson, that “Life is too short to learn German:” meaning, I apprehend, not that it is too difficult to be acquired within the ordinary space of life, but that there is nothing in it to compensate for the portion of life bestowed on its acquirement, however little that may be.

Richard Porson was a scholar at the University of Cambridge who was acclaimed for his knowledge of Greek. He was born in 1759 and died in 1808. QI has found no substantive evidence that Porson authored the statement under analysis. QI conjectures that Thomas Love Peacock crafted the quip and assigned it to Porson to accentuate its humor. Alternatively, Peacock was simply repeating a pre-existing joke.

QI believes that the attributions to Oscar Wilde and Mark Twain are unsupported although germane quotations from Twain are listed further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Life Is Too Short To Do Anything For Oneself That One Can Pay Others To Do For One

W. Somerset Maugham? Popular Influencer? Apocryphal?

**Illustration of symbolic dollar coins from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: A popular modern influencer has recommended outsourcing all the unpleasant or unimportant tasks of life. I was reminded of a saying I heard many years ago:

Life is too short to do anything for oneself that one can pay others to do for one.

I do not recall who said this. The person was probably wealthy. Would you please trace this quotation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: W. Somerset Maugham was a highly successful dramatist, novelist, and short story writer. His novels included “Of Human Bondage”, “The Moon and Sixpence”, and “The Razor’s Edge”. In 1938 Maugham published “The Summing Up” which presented his ideas about life and art. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

I have travelled; I live in a house with a view of the sea, silent and apart from other habitations, in the middle of a garden, with spacious rooms. I have always thought life too short to do anything for oneself that one can pay others to do for one and I have been rich enough to afford myself the luxury of only doing for myself what I alone can do.

I have been able to entertain my friends and to help people whom I wanted to help. All this I owe to the favour of the public.

The original phrasing of the quotation differed from the common current version. The phrase “I have always thought” has been excised, and the word “is” has been inserted into modern instances.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The World Has Cancer, and the Cancer Cell Is Man

Alan Gregg? William Ralph Inge? Paul R. Ehrlich? Marston Bates? Edward Abbey? Ronald Dellums?

**Picture of cancer cells from the U.S. National Cancer Institute**

Question for Quote Investigator: The size of the human population and the power of human technology have both grown dramatically during the past century. Unfortunately, the biosphere has been damaged by human actions. Someone formulated the following provocative analogy:

The world has cancer, and the cancer cell is man.

Would you please explore the provenance of this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest close match found by QI appeared in the journal “Science” in 1955 within an article by physician Alan Gregg titled “A Medical Aspect of the Population Problem”. Gregg’s phrasing was tentative. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

In short, I suggest, as a way of looking at the population problem, that there are some interesting analogies between the growth of the human population of the world and the increase of cells observable in neoplasms: To say that the world has cancer, and that the cancer cell is man, has neither experimental proof nor the validation of predictive accuracy; but I see no reason that instantly forbids such a speculation.

Gregg pointed out that the human population had increased dramatically from 500 million people in A.D. 1500 to 2 billion people in 1955.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.