There Is No Such Thing as Conversation. It Is an Illusion. There Are Intersecting Monologues, That Is All

Rebecca West? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The notable British author Rebecca West once wrote a brilliant comment about people talking without communicating. Her words have been included in several important reference compilations of quotations, but the situation is confusing because there are two different versions of her statement that differ by a single word. Boldface …

Positively, The Best Thing a Person Can Have To Do Is Nothing

Charles Lamb? Théophile Gautier? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: When I was choosing a major in college, people would ask me what I wished to do in life. I am somewhat indolent; hence, the following response reflects my underlying beliefs: The best thing to have to do is nothing. I usually did not share this thought …

I Spent All Morning Taking Out a Comma and All Afternoon Putting It Back

Oscar Wilde? Gustave Flaubert? Robert H. Sherard? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: A famous writer who was punctilious about punctuation described an arduous day of work as follows: I spent all morning putting in a comma and all afternoon taking it out. In some versions of the anecdote the operations were reversed: I spent all morning …

Of All the Forms of Inequality, Injustice in Health Is the Most Shocking and Inhuman

Martin Luther King Jr.? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: While reading about the economics of health care I came across the following statement attributed to the famous civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr.: Of all the forms of inequality, injustice in health care is the most shocking and inhumane. A writer at “The Huffington Post” …

This Diary Is My Kief, Hashish, and Opium Pipe. This Is My Drug and My Vice

Anaïs Nin? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The acclaimed modern diarist Anaïs Nin apparently experienced an addictive intensity when writing in her diary. The following words have been attributed to her: This diary is my kief, hashish, and opium pipe. Is this an authentic quotation, or is it simply a hallucination? Quote Investigator: The publication of …

Cloquet Hated Reality But Realized It Was Still the Only Place to Get a Good Steak

Woody Allen? Groucho Marx? Cloquet? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The comedian and movie director Woody Allen sometimes constructs ontological jokes. For example, the following is attributed to Allen: I hate reality, but it is still the only place where I can get a decent steak. Oddly, the following very similar quip has been credited to …

It Rolls Off My Back Like a Duck

Samuel Goldwyn? George Oppenheimer? Ellenor Stoothoff? Andrew Carnegie? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The phrase “like water off a duck’s back” is a well-known idiom that refers to an incident or a comment having little or no effect on a person.[1]Oxford Dictionary of English Idioms, Third Edition, Edited by John Ayto, Oxford Reference Online, Entry: like …

Intelligence without Ambition Is a Bird without Wings

Salvador Dali? Walter H. Cottingham? Laura E. Riding? C. Archie Danielson? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Some individuals have impressive natural gifts and aptitudes but do not have strong desires or motivations. Their worthwhile potential achievements often remain unrealized. The following adage embodies this notion: Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. These words have …

Gentlemen, You Have Come Sixty Days Too Late. The Depression Is Over

Herbert Hoover? John A. Ryan? Arthur M. Schlesinger Jr.? Apocryphal Quote Investigator: The great depression which began in 1929 was one of the most serious economic calamities of the twentieth century. In the U.S. a high unemployment rate persisted for more than a decade. Herbert Hoover was the U.S. President when the crisis began, and …

War Does Not Determine Who Is Right — Only Who Is Left

Bertrand Russell? Frank P. Hobgood? Jessie Woodrow Wilson Sayre? Reader’s Digest? Montreal Star? Andrew Carnegie? Winston Churchill? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: A piquant slogan has been used by pacifists and peace activists for decades. Here are two variants: War does not determine who is right — only who is left. The atom bomb will never …