Quote Investigator® – Page 182

Quote Origin: A Professor Is One Who Talks in Someone Else’s Sleep

W. H. Auden? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The acclaimed poet W. H. Auden popularized one of the funniest definitions for an academic:

A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep.

Do you know whether Auden crafted this quip?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is substantive evidence that W. H. Auden did employ this joke by 1940, and a detailed citation is given further below. However, the well-known literary figure did not originate the remark.

A nascent version of the jape was in circulation in 1900, and the expression evolved for decades. Instances of the barb have been aimed at preachers, bores, clergymen, professors, lecturers, politicians, and teachers.

The earliest evidence known to QI was a precursor printed in August 1900 in “The Evening Post” newspaper of New York which acknowledged the “Boston Transcript”. The following variant did not disparage any particular profession; instead, the punch line was self-deprecating:¹

Brown—”Do you ever talk in your sleep? “
Town—”Not that I know of. I have sometimes talked in other people’s sleep”

In 1900 and 1901 this comical filler item was reprinted in multiple newspapers, e.g., “The Washington Post”² of Washington, D.C., “Santa Fe New Mexican”³ of New Mexico, and “The Cato Citizen”⁴ of New York.

In 1906 the “Amsterdam Evening Recorder”⁵ of New York and other newspapers printed a version of the joke featuring a preacher’s wife under the title “When He Talked”:⁶

Mrs. Newlywed—Does your husband ever talk in his sleep, Mrs. Longwed?
Mrs. Longwed—No, dear; he talks in other people’s sleep. He is a preacher, you know.
—Woman’s Home Companion.

Thus, ecclesiastics were chided before the quip metamorphosed to target educators. The existence of these early instances was discovered by top quotation expert Fred R. Shapiro, editor of “The Yale Book of Quotations”.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Sex Appeal Is 50 Per Cent What You’ve Got and 50 Per Cent What People Think You’ve Got

Sophia Loren? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: I am trying to recall an observation made in the 1950s or 1960s by a great beauty. I do not remember the precise wording. The essence of the quotation was that her attractiveness was 50 percent actual and 50 percent projected by others. Would you please help me to identify the quote and who said it?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest relevant evidence QI has found appeared in a gossip column called “The Smart Set” by Cholly Knickerbocker in December 1957. The adage was ascribed to the film star Sophia Loren, and she combined the insightful remark with a modest self-evaluation. Boldface has been added:¹

So help us, Sophia Loren said it: “Sex appeal is 50 per cent what you’ve got and 50 per cent what people think you’ve got. People think I’ve got far more than I really have. I must not try to disillusion them.”

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: If We Are Here to Help Others, I Often Wonder What the Others Are Here For

W. H. Auden? George Herbert Palmer? Young Boy? Thomas Robert Dewar? John Foster Hall? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Altruism is a cornerstone of many religions and philosophies. Here are two versions of a humorous comment on this topic:

If we are here to help others, I often wonder what the others are here for.

We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for, I don’t know.

This quip has been attributed to the prominent poet W. H. Auden and the Scottish whisky distiller Thomas Dewar. Do you know who should be credited?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The first expression listed above was attributed to Thomas Robert Dewar in 1926. The joke was included in a set of sayings printed in a newspaper under the title “A Peer’s Epigrams” with a concluding ascription to “Lord Dewar”. The details for this cite are given further below

In addition, W. H. Auden did write the second expression in a 1942 essay, but the context indicated that he was repeating an existing joke. Details are further below.

The earliest evidence located by QI appeared before the above two citations in the “Year Book of the Brookline Education Society” in 1897. A lecture was delivered in Brookline, Massachusetts by a Harvard Professor named George Herbert Palmer, and he spoke about the complex nature of altruism:

We must be altruists—although I am not sure that altruism is not a sort of contradiction.

Palmer told a version of the joke in which a child spoke the punch line:¹

Professor Palmer here related an anecdote of two children who were overheard talking one night on the end of living. Such a narrow subject for children! The girl said that she knew what she was here for—“to help others.” “Well,” remarked the boy, “what are the others here for?” This is the weakness of altruism.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Alone We Can Do So Little. Together We Can Do So Much

Helen Keller? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: A website on education policy began a recent article with a statement attributed to Helen Keller:

Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.

No citation was given. Would you please examine this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is good evidence that Helen Keller did speak this line on multiple occasions. In the early 1920s Keller and her teacher Anne Sullivan decided to earn money by performing on the vaudeville circuit. Their finances were precarious, and they had successfully given performances on the Chautauqua circuit in the past.

The comprehensive dual biography “Helen and Teacher: The Story of Helen Keller and Anne Sullivan Macy” by Joseph P. Lash released in 1980 included a chapter about this interval spent in show business. The act of Keller and Sullivan “lasted only twenty minutes”, and it included a short speech by Keller though “every word was still a battle to enunciate”. The saying was part of this homily. Boldface has been added to this excerpt:¹

My Teacher has told you how a word from her hand touched the darkness of my mind and I awoke to the gladness of life. I was dumb; now I speak. I owe this to the hands and hearts of others. Through their love I found my soul and God and happiness. Don’t you see what it means? We live by each other and for each other. Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much. Only love can break down the walls that stand between us and our happiness.

The author did not indicate the precise provenance of the speech text, but he did have access to several key repositories, e.g., the Helen Keller archives at the American Foundation for the Blind and the archive at the Alexander Graham Bell Association for the Deaf in Washington, D.C.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Half of the Town Councilors Are Not Fools

Swedish Councilor? Benjamin Disraeli? Australian Alderman? Casey Motsisi? Dennis Skinner? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Recently on twitter I saw a joke about the limits placed on unparliamentary language in Britain. A photo depicted an unhappy contemporary politician in the House of Commons with a caption similar to the following:

Politician: Half the members of the opposition are crooks.
House of Commons Speaker: Please retract.
Politician: OK. Half the members of the opposition are not crooks.

In the past, I heard an anecdote that followed the same outline and finished with the punch line:

Half the Cabinet members are not asses.

These words were attributed to the prominent British statesman Benjamin Disraeli. However, I haven’t been able to find a good citation. Would you please examine this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: An anecdote about Benjamin Disraeli following the template of this joke has been in circulation for decades. However, the earliest evidence located by QI linking the tale to Disraeli appeared in 1958, and the statesman died in 1881. Details for this citation are given further below.

The first instance of the jape found by QI was printed in a newspaper story in July 1927 set in an unnamed town near Uppsala, Sweden. A government official reportedly lost his temper and rebuked his fellows. Boldface has been added:¹

A municipal councilor … remarked that certainly half of his colleagues were fools. An apology was demanded. He promised to make reparation and caused bills with the following correction to be posted on boardings in the town: “I said that half of the town councilors are fools. I now declare that half of the town councilors are not fools.”

Over the years the jest has evolved and has been aimed at a variety of people, including town councilors, aldermen, cabinet members, and members of the House of Commons.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Happiness Is A Butterfly, Which When Pursued, Seems Always Just Beyond Your Grasp

Nathaniel Hawthorne? Henry David Thoreau? L.? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: An ingenious and lovely simile about happiness is confusingly attributed to two prominent literary figures: Nathaniel Hawthorne and Henry David Thoreau. Here are two versions:

Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.

Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.

Who do you think really originated this analogy?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI believes that neither of these gentlemen was responsible for this figurative language. The earliest evidence known to QI was published in several periodicals beginning in 1848.

In June 1848 a newspaper called “The Daily Crescent” in New Orleans, Louisiana printed a set of sixteen definitions for terms such as “Love”, “Faith”, “Truth”, “Wealth”, and “Experience”. The article was labelled “For the Crescent”, so this article may have been the original publication. The author was only identified by the single initial “L”.

The butterfly metaphor was presented within the definition for “Happiness”. Here’s a sampling of three definitions. Emphasis by QI:¹

LOVE.—The electric spark communicating between two human galvanic batteries.

WEALTH.—The sum which gives content, whether one dollar or a million.

HAPPINESS.—A butterfly, which when pursued, seems always just beyond your grasp; but if you sit down quietly, may alight upon you.

The mistaken ascription to Nathaniel Hawthorne appeared many years later and was probably based on the misreading of an ambiguous entry in a book of quotations published in 1891. The details are given further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Anyone Who Doesn’t Take Truth Seriously in Small Matters Cannot Be Trusted in Large Ones Either

Albert Einstein? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: My University has an Academic Integrity Office which has launched a poster campaign that includes an image of Albert Einstein together with the following statement which has been ascribed to the brilliant physicist:

Anyone who doesn’t take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted with large ones either.

Misquotations linked to this famous genius are very common, and I have not yet found convincing evidence that these really are the words of Einstein. Would you please examine this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI believes that this quotation and its ascription are genuine; however, the words were originally written in German by Einstein; hence, multiple translations into English were possible.

In 1957 the journal “New Outlook: Middle East Monthly” printed a statement with the following description:

Excerpt from Albert Einstein’s last statement, April, 1955, published here for the first time through the kindness of Helen Dukas, Professor Einstein’s secretary.

The journal presented the text in German with an accompanying English translation. The English passage included a close match for the statement under investigation. Boldface has been added:¹

Wenn es sich um Wahrheit und Gerechtigkeit handelt, gibt es nicht die Unterscheidung zwischen kleinen und grossen Problemen. Denn die allgemeinen Gesichtspunkte, die das Handeln der Menschen betreffen, sind unteilbar. Wer es in kleinen Dingen mit der Wahrheit nicht ernst nimmt, dem kann man auch in grossen Dingen nicht vertrauen…

When the issue is one of Truth and Justice, there can be no differentiating between small problems and great ones. For the general viewpoints on human behaviour are indivisible. People who fail to regard the truth seriously in small matters, cannot be trusted in matters that are great.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Repentance on a Sunday for What One Has Done on Saturday

Thomas R. Ybarra? Contributor to Life Magazine? Victor L. Berger? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Individuals who attend church services without sincerity have long been criticized with the following sardonic description:

Those who repent on Sunday,
For what they did on Saturday,
And plan to do again on Monday.

I have been unable to determine who first said this. Would you please help?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest close match located by QI was printed in the humor magazine “Life” in 1905, and the author was unidentified:¹

A Christian is a man who feels
Repentance on a Sunday
For what he has done on Saturday,
And is going to do on Monday.

This theme has a long history and QI conjectures that the above verse was inspired directly or indirectly by lines in a poem published in the eighteenth century. Details are given below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Do Not Be So Open-Minded That Your Brains Fall Out

Carl Sagan? Arthur Hays Sulzberger? Marianne Moore? E. E Cummings? William Allan Neilson? Walter Kotschnig? Samuel Butler? G. K. Chesterton? Max Radin? James Oberg? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: There is a desirable balance between exploring novel ideas with an open mind and maintaining a healthy skepticism. The following humorous cautionary statement exemplifies the tension:

Do not be so open-minded that your brains fall out.

I have heard this expression attributed to New York Times publisher Arthur Hays Sulzberger, Smith College President William Allan Neilson, and astronomer Carl Sagan. Do you know who should be credited?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest published close match located by QI appeared in a newspaper report in January 1940 about a speech by Walter Kotschnig given at Mount Holyoke College in Massachusetts. Kotschnig worked with refugee organizations early in his career and subsequently joined the United States State Department.¹ Boldface has been added:²

Prof. Walter Kotschnig told Holyoke College students to keep their minds open—“but not so open that your brains fall out.”

He condemned the purpose of students who go to college merely to learn skill and urged his listeners to find the “real aim of education, to acquire a philosophy of life, intellectual honesty, and a constant search for truth.”

QI has also located an article published in February 1940 describing a speech delivered by Kotschnig in November 1939. This citation had the second earliest publication date for a close match; however, the date of the speech was the earliest. Details are given further below.

The same metaphor was used in 1937; however, the phrasing was condemnatory instead of cautionary. Details for this citation are given further below. The comical notion that an open mind might lead to a mind with “nothing in it at all” was suggested much earlier in 1886.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: There’s a Sucker Born Every Minute

P.T. Barnum? Hungry Joe Lewis? Artemus Ward? Mike McDonald? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: A famous saying about gullibility is usually attributed to the well-known showman P. T. Barnum. Here are two versions:

There’s a sucker born every minute.
There’s a fool born every minute.

Whether Barnum actually used either of these expressions is controversial. Would you please examine this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has located no persuasive evidence that Phineas Taylor Barnum who died in 1891 spoke or wrote this saying. Researcher Ralph Keyes presented a skeptical stance with his assertion in “The Quote Verifier” that “No modern historian takes seriously the routine attribution of this slogan to P. T. Barnum.”¹

There exists a family of closely related expressions with a long history. Here is a sampling together with years of occurrence. The first item listed employed dialectical spelling. The word “flat” was a synonym for “fool”. The abbreviation “attrib” means that the words were attributed to an individual, but the evidence was indirect. The abbreviation “anon” means anonymous:

1806: there vash von fool born every minute
1826: a new fool is born every day
1835: there is a flat born every minute
1877: there is a fool born every hour
1879: there’s a sucker born every minute (anon adage)
1882: there was a sucker born every minute (attrib anon con man)
1885: there was a sucker born every minute (attrib Hungry Joe)
1888: there is a sucker born every minute (attrib Artemus Ward)
1889: a sucker is born every minute (attrib Mike McDonald)
1890: a fool was born every minute (attrib P.T. Barnum)
1892: there was a sucker born every minute (attrib P.T. Barnum)

The above listing is a snapshot of current research results, and it will certainly change over time as more data is gathered. The earliest instances of these expressions were anonymous, and QI believes that later attributions had inadequate support.

Here are selected citations in chronological order.