Quote Investigator® – Page 29

Quote Origin: I Never Was Ruined But Twice, Once When I Gained a Lawsuit, and Once When I Lost It

Voltaire? Mark Twain? Richard Brinsley Sheridan? John Bright? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Scales of justice illustration from Pixabay

Question for Quote Investigator: Legal conflicts are extraordinarily expensive and time-consuming for all the participants. Even the winner of a lawsuit can suffer financially. The ill-fated contender in two legal entanglements once said something like the following. Here are two versions. The word “gained” is a synonym for “won” in the second statement:

(1) I have been ruined only twice: once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I won one.
(2) I never was ruined but twice; once when I gained a lawsuit, and once when I lost it.

This quip has been attributed to the famous wits Voltaire (pen name of François-Marie Arouet) and Mark Twain (pen name of Samuel Clemens); however, I have never seen a solid citation, and I have become skeptical. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is no substantive support for the ascription to Mark Twain who died in 1910. The attribution to Twain appeared by 2014.

Researchers have been unable to find this saying in the writings or speeches of Voltaire. The valuable 2021 reference “The Quotable Voltaire” edited by Garry Apgar and Edward M. Langille contains a germane entry which states the following:¹

Attributed to Voltaire, almost certainly apocryphal

Voltaire died in 1778, and the earliest strong match located by QI appeared many years later in June 1826 within “The Sun” newspaper of London. A column titled “Fashionable – Intelligence” printed a miscellaneous collection of items including the following. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:²

BEAUTIES OF LAW.—“I never,” said Voltaire, “was ruined but twice, once, when I gained a law suit; and once, when I lost it.”

QI believes that the current evidence supporting the attribution to Voltaire is inadequate, and the originator of the quip remains anonymous.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Life Is Not Complex. We Are Complex. Life Is Simple, and the Simple Thing Is the Right Thing

Oscar Wilde? Robert Ross? Rudolf Flesch? Apocryphal?

Complex presentation of the simple word “Love” from Pixabay

Question for Quote Investigator: Modern life seems to be extremely complicated, but the underlying principles of a worthwhile life are quite simple. I am reminded of the following quotation:

Life is not complex. We are complex. Life is simple, and the simple thing is the right thing.

These words have been attributed to the famous Irish wit Oscar Wilde, but I have never seen a solid citation. Would you please help me to trace this remark?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In April 1897 Oscar Wilde penned a note to his friend Robert Ross. Wilde was unhappy because Ross had ignored the guidance specified in a previous note. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

You should have seen that my wishes were carried out. You were very wrong not to do so. I was quite helpless in prison and I relied on you. You thought that the thing to do was the clever thing, the smart thing, the ingenious thing. You were under a mistake.

Life is not complex. We are complex. Life is simple, and the simple thing is the right thing. Look at the result! Are you pleased with it?

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: If Our American Way of Life Fails the Child, It Fails Us All

Pearl S. Buck? Apocryphal?

Parent and baby from Rebecca Scholz at Pixabay

Question for Quote Investigator: The following statement has been attributed to the prominent U.S. writer Pearl S. Buck:

If our American way of life fails the child, it fails us all.

Would you please help me to find the context of this remark together with a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Pearl S. Buck won a Pulitzer Prize in 1932 for her best-selling book “The Good Earth”. Subsequently, she was awarded the 1938 Nobel Prize in Literature. In 1965 she published “Children for Adoption” which contained the following passage. Boldface added to excerpts:¹

The increase in numbers of homeless, unwanted children—a result of the sexual freedom between modern men and women—is attended by a decrease in the number of adopting parents. The predicament must be faced squarely by the professionals. New solutions must be found. If our American way of life fails the child, it fails us all.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: We Live in a Science Fiction Age. Yesterday’s Fantasy Is Already Today’s Fact

Isaac Asimov? Leonard Nimoy? Allen Ginsberg? Jane Kramer? Donald A. Wollheim? Chester Whitehorn? Ric Ocasek? Greg Hawkes? Apocryphal?

Geometric shape embedded in space from Pixabay

Question for Quote Investigator: Nowadays technological changes are occurring with vertiginous rapidity, and I am reminded of statements like these:

We live in a science-fiction age. Yesterday’s fantasy is already today’s fact.

There’s nothing to be learned from history any more. We’re in science fiction now.

Surprisingly, these pronouncements were made several decades ago. Would you please help me to find citations?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Here is an overview with dates and attributions which presents a sampling of similar declarations:

1954: We live in a science-fiction age. Yesterday’s fantasy is already today’s fact. — Chester Whitehorn, Editor of short-lived “Science Fiction Digest”

1957 Jan: The bizarre fact that we do live in a science-fiction world. — Canadian Journalist James Cameron (not the moviemaker)

1968 Jun: We do live in a science fiction age. — John M. Connor, Librarian

1969: There’s nothing to be learned from history any more. We’re in science fiction now. — Allen Ginsberg, Poet

1971: I have had the disturbing conviction that we are all living in a science-fiction story. — Donald A. Wollheim, Science fiction editor

1974 May: We live in a science fiction age. — Leonard Nimoy, actor who played Spock in “Star Trek”

1975: We live, indisputably, in a science fiction world. — James E. Gunn, Science fiction scholar and author (not the moviemaker)

1978: Everything is science fiction. And I ought to know. — Ric Ocasek and Greg Hawkes, members of the rock group The Cars

1982: I think we’re living in a science fiction world right now. — Isaac Asimov, Science fiction author

2023 May: On what date do you expect @GreatDismal to go from being science fiction writer to historian? — UK director Duncan Jones

In 1954 optimistic editor Chester Whitehorn founded a periodical called “Science Fiction Digest”. Sadly, only two issues were published before the effort failed.¹ Whitehorn was convinced that the world had entered a new era of futuristic possibilities. He wrote the following in an editor’s note:²

We live in a science-fiction age. Yesterday’s fantasy is already today’s fact; and today’s imaginings, well, perhaps only 24 hours from now, they too will have come to pass.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Look for Three Qualities: Integrity, Intelligence and Energy. And If They Don’t Have the First, the Other Two Will Kill You

Warren Buffett? Anonymous? Apocryphal?

Puzzle piece. Image from AbsolutVision Pixabay

Question for Quote Investigator: Famous U.S. investor Warren Buffett once described the three traits he looked for in new employees. A worker should have integrity, intelligence, and energy. Apparently, Buffett believed that the first trait was crucial because its absence would cause the other two traits to kill a business. Would you please help me to find the phrasing used by Buffett together with a precise citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1993 Warren Buffett spoke to graduate students at the Business School of Columbia University in New York City. Excerpts from his remarks were published in the “Omaha World-Herald” of Nebraska in January 1994. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Somebody once said that in looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence and energy. And if they don’t have the first, the other two will kill you.

You think about it, it’s true. If you hire somebody without the first, you really want them dumb and lazy. (Laughter)

Pick the kind of person to work for you that you want to marry your son or daughter. You won’t go wrong.

Interestingly, Warren Buffett popularized this saying; however, he disclaimed credit. Thus, the originator remains anonymous.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Measure Their Progress, Not From the Heights to Which They May In Time Attain, But From the Depths From Which They Have Come

Frederick Douglass? Apocryphal?

Mountainous terrain in Munkebu, Norway from Unsplash

Question for Quote Investigator: Whenever a person is being evaluated it is necessary to consider the adversities that have impeded their progress. One should measure the heights achieved, but one should also consider the original challenging depths experienced by an individual. The famous orator Frederick Douglass said something like this. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: On May 30, 1882 Frederick Douglass delivered an address at Decoration Day in Rochester, New York. The “Rochester Daily Union and Advertiser” newspaper published a transcript of the speech which included the following remarks. Boldface added to excepts by QI:¹

Unquestionably the condition of the freedmen is not what it ought to be, but the cause of their affliction is not to be found in their present freedom, but in their former slavery. It does not belong to the present, but to the past. They were emancipated under unfavorable conditions. They were literally turned loose, hungry and naked, to the open sky . . .

Those who now carp at their destitution, and speak of them with contempt should judge them leniently, and measure their progress, not from the heights to which they may in time attain, but from the depths from which they have come.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Read, Read, Read. Read Everything—Trash, Classics, Good and Bad, and See How They Do It

William Faulkner? Stephen King? R. M. Allen? Lavon Rascoe? Lauren Passell? Ben Yagoda? Anonymous?

Silhouette of a person reading from Unsplash

Question for Quote Investigator: A prominent novelist was once asked for advice by an aspiring author. The scribe offered the following crucial guidance:

Read, read, read. Read everything.

Highbrow, middlebrow, and lowbrow material were all deemed acceptable choices for scrutiny. Would you please help me to find out the name of this sage? It might be celebrated U.S. writer William Faulkner or popular horror maestro Stephen King.

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1949 William Faulkner won the Nobel Prize in Literature. Two years earlier in April 1947 he spoke about writing to students of the English Department at the University of Mississippi. He delivered advice during a question and answer session. Boldface added to excepts by QI:¹

Q: What is the best training for writing? Courses, experience, or what?

Faulkner: Read, read, read. Read everything—trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You’ll absorb it. Then write. If it is good, you’ll find out. If it’s not, throw it out the window.

The text above is from “Lion in the Garden: Interviews with William Faulkner 1926-1962”. This book reprinted notes taken by student R. M. Allen who was present when Faulkner spoke.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: This Is Only a Work of Fiction. The Truth, As Always, Will Be Far Stranger

Arthur C. Clarke? Stanley Kubrick? Mark Twain? J. B. S. Haldane?

Question for Quote Investigator: Rapid computer hardware and software developments combined with extreme speculations about a technological singularity have led some science fiction writers to complain that envisioning the future has become too difficult. I am reminded of the following disclaimer for a novel:

This is only a work of fiction. The truth, as always, will be far stranger.

Do you know which science fiction author made this remark?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1968 science fiction author Arthur C. Clarke published “2001: A Space Odyssey” which depicted humanity’s first encounter with extraterrestrials. The work was written in conjunction with the movie of the same name directed by Stanley Kubrick. In the foreword to the novel, Clark suggested that humanity would meet “our equals, or our masters, among the stars”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Men have been slow to face this prospect: some still hope that it may never become reality. Increasing numbers, however, are asking: ‘Why have such meetings not occurred already, since we ourselves are about to venture into space?’

Why not, indeed? Here is one possible answer to that very reasonable question. But please remember: this is only a work of fiction. The truth, as always, will be far stranger.

The foreword ended with the initials A.C.C. and S.K. for Arthur C. Clarke and Stanley Kubrick, but QI thinks that Clarke was the primary author of the foreword.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Joke Origin: A Clear Conscience Is Usually a Sign of a Bad Memory

Mark Twain? Steven Wright? Senator Sorghum? Philander Chase Johnson? Neal O’Hara? Felix Nieto del Rio? Anonymous?

Colorful brain illustration from Elisa Riva at Pixabay

Question for Quote Investigator: A morally upright individual strives to maintain a clear conscience. Yet, satisfying this goal is not always praiseworthy:

Often a person with a clear conscience merely has a poor memory.

This quip has been credited to famous humorist Mark Twain and popular comedian Steven Wright. I am skeptical of these attributions because I have not seen convincing citations. Would you please help?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest strong match for this joke located by QI appeared in 1902 within “The Evening Star” newspaper of Washington, D.C. The punchline was spoken by the fictitious Senator Sorghum. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

A Delicate Distinction.

“That friend of yours seems to have a clear conscience.”
“No,” answered Senator Sorghum, “not a clear conscience; merely a bad memory—which with some people answers the purpose much better.”

QI hypothesizes that U.S. journalist and humorist Philander Chase Johnson crafted the above instance of the joke. He worked at the “The Evening Star”, and he created the character Senator Sorghum. Also, in 1906 he published a collection of barbs and quips under the title “Senator Sorghum’s Primer of Politics”.² However, Johnson did not place this particular remark into his book.

This jest is difficult to trace because it can be expressed in many ways. Here is an overview listing the key vocabulary employed in different versions over time:

1902 Jul: bad memory
1911 Oct: poor memory
1915 Dec: convenient memory
1917 Apr: short memory
1923 Jan: forgetful
1933 May: dumb

Mark Twain implausibly received credit by 2008. Steven Wright received credit by 1998 several decades after the joke entered circulation.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Joke Origin: To Double Your Money You Should Simply Fold Your Bills and Put Them in Your Pocket

Kin Hubbard? Will Rogers? Elbert Hubbard? Abe Martin? Max Eastman? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Proselytizers for get-rich-quick schemes are ubiquitous online. A popular joke describes a comically easy way to obtain illusory wealth. Here are two versions:

(1) To get rich you should convert your money to bills. Next, you should fold the bills, and you will double your money.

(2) The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

This joke has been attributed to two prominent U.S. humorists: Kin Hubbard and Will Rogers. I have not seen a solid citation. Would you please help?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This family of wordplay gags has a long history, but it is difficult to trace because the phrasing varies. The earliest match located by QI appeared in 1805 within “The Green Mountain Patriot” newspaper of Peacham, Vermont. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

A PUNSTER observing a person folding some bank bills, a few days since, remarked, ‘You must be in excellent business, for I see you double your money very easily.’

The 1805 punster remains anonymous. Frank McKinney Hubbard, best known as Kin Hubbard, employed the joke in 1908 many years after it had entered circulation. The attribution to Will Rogers is unsupported.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.