Quote Origin: Thinking Is the Hardest Work Many People Ever Have To Do, and They Don’t Like To Do Any More of It Than They Can Help

Henry Ford? G. K. Chesterton? Robert R. Updegraff? Charles Zueblin? Anonymous?

One illuminated lightbulb in a group of lightbulbs from Pixabay

Question for Quote Investigator: Thinking carefully and rigorously about an issue requires major effort. That helps to explain why shallow, lazy, and self-justifying thought is so common. Here is a pertinent quotation: 

Thinking is the hardest work many people ever have to do, and they don’t like to do any more of it than they can help.

This notion has been attributed to U.S. automobile titan Henry Ford and U.S. sociologist Charles Zueblin. Would you please trace this expression?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1916 advertising specialist Robert R. Updegraff published a short book titled “Obvious Adams: The Story of a Successful Businessman” which included the quotation; however, Updegraff credited the statement to Charles Zueblin. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

… I guess Professor Zueblin is right when he says that thinking is the hardest work many people ever have to do, and they don’t like to do any more of it than they can help. They look for a royal road through some short cut in the form of a clever scheme or stunt, which they call the obvious thing to do; but calling it doesn’t make it so. They don’t gather all the facts and then analyze them before deciding what really is the obvious thing, and thereby they overlook the first and most obvious of all business principles.

QI has not yet found this quotation in the works of Zueblin. Updegraff did not use quotation marks, and he may have been paraphrasing Zueblin. Alternatively, Updegraff’s memory may have been flawed.

Henry Ford did say something similar in 1922 and 1928. Perhaps Ford was influenced by Updegraff’s earlier statement. See the 1922 and 1928 citations listed further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Joke Origin: Frugal Me! Frugal Me!

Milton Berle? Russell Kay? Young Student? Anonymous?

Picture of Neuschwanstein Castle from Pixabay

Question for Quote Investigator: Teachers enjoy sharing an anecdote about a student who was taught that the word “frugal” meant “to save”. Afterwards the student generated the following story:

The beautiful damsel was held prisoner in a tower. When she saw a prince nearby she cried out: “Frugal me! Frugal me!” The prince frugaled her, and they lived happily ever after.

Would you please explore the provenance of this joke?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match for this joke type based on the word “frugal” located by QI appeared in 1915 within “The Goldenrod” journal which was published by the students of Wayne State Normal School in Nebraska. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

A spelling lesson was in progress in Miss Bettcher’s room. One of the boys explained that the word “frugal” meant “to save.” It was suggested that he give an incident in which the word could be properly used. His quotation follows: “I once saw a girl drowning in the ocean. She had both hands up above the water, yelling, “Frugal me! Frugal me!”

The creator of this joke was unidentified, and QI hypothesizes that the gag was already in circulation.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: Sooner or Later We All Sit Down To the Banquet of Consequences

Robert Louis Stevenson? Robert W. Frank? Frederick B. Harris? Apocryphal?

Picture of a banquet meal from Unsplash

Question for Quote Investigator: If you engage in a beneficial or a harmful activity you may not immediately experience the result. The effect might be significantly delayed, but eventually you will experience the full repercussions. Here are three versions of a pertinent adage:

(1) Everybody, sooner or later, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
(2) Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
(3) Sooner or later everyone sits down to a banquet of consequences.

This saying has been attributed to the Scottish novelist Robert Louis Stevenson who wrote “Treasure Island” and “Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde”. However, I have become skeptical because I have been unable to find a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Researchers have not found an exact match for this saying within the works of Robert Louis Stevenson. A partial match appeared in Stevenson’s essay titled “Old Mortality” published in “Longman’s Magazine” in 1884. Stevenson emphasized the value of reading books. The following passage contained the phrase “game of consequences” instead of “banquet of consequences”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

Books were the proper remedy: books of vivid human import, forcing upon their minds the issues, pleasures, business, importance and immediacy of that life in which they stand; books of smiling or heroic temper, to excite or to console; books of a large design, shadowing the complexity of that game of consequences to which we all sit down, the hanger-back not least.

During the following decades Stevenson’s essay was widely reprinted; hence, many readers saw it. QI conjectures that the 1884 statement was rephrased to yield the popular modern misquotation.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: I Regard the Theater as the Greatest of All Art Forms

Oscar Wilde? Thornton Wilder? Frank Capra? Apocryphal?

Theater masks depicting Comedy and Tragedy from Pixabay

Question for Quote Investigator: A prominent playwright once said: I regard the theater as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being.

This statement has been attributed to Thornton Wilder who wrote the plays “Our Town” and “The Skin of Our Teeth”. It has also been credited to Oscar Wilde who wrote the plays “The Importance of Being Earnest” and “Lady Windermere’s Fan”. Would you please explore this topic and find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1957 “The Paris Review” published an interview with Thornton Wilder during which he said the following. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

I regard the theater as the greatest of all art-forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being. This supremacy of the theater derives from the fact that it is always “now” on the stage. It is enough that generations have been riveted by the sight of Clytemnestra luring Agamemnon to the fatal bath, and Oedipus searching out the truth which will ruin him.

QI has found no substantive evidence that Oscar Wilde employed this expression. He died in 1900, and he received credit by 2006.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: I Had Exactly Four Seconds To Hot Up the Disintegrator, and Google Had Told Me It Wasn’t Enough

Raymond Chandler? Barry N. Malzberg? Vlad
Savov? Apocryphal?

A science fictional device of unknown purpose

Question for Quote Investigator: Apparently, sometime during the 1950s a popular writer of detective fiction crafted a short passage parodying science fiction. Within the passage the word “Google” appeared long before the company Google existed. The passage displayed remarkable prescience. The word “Google” referred to an entity that provided information. Would you please explore this topic and provide a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The writer Raymond Chandler is best known as the creator of the hardboiled detective character Philip Marlowe. In 1953 Chandler sent a letter to a friend which included a jargon-filled passage parodying science fiction writing. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

Did you ever read what they call Science Fiction. It’s a scream. It is written like this: “I checked out with K 19 on Aldabaran III, and stepped out through the crummalite hatch on my 22 Model Sirus Hardtop. I cocked the timejector in secondary and waded through the bright blue manda grass. My breath froze into pink pretzels.”

The final sentence of Chandler’s passage included the word “Google”:2

“The sudden brightness swung me around and the Fourth Moon had already risen. I had exactly four seconds to hot up the disintegrator and Google had told me it wasn’t enough. He was right.”

They pay brisk money for this crap?

Chandler used the pronoun “he” when referring back to “Google”; hence, the character “Google” may have been a male human, a male alien, or a personified computing device.

Chandler played cricket when he was young, and he may have been influenced by the term “google” which is applied to balls which break or swerve. Alternatively, Chandler may have been influenced by the comic strip character Barney Google or by the term “Googol” which refers to the enormous number 10100 which can be written as 1 followed by one hundred zeroes.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: It’s Hard To Tell What Brings Happiness. Poverty and Wealth Have Both Failed

Kin Hubbard? Abe Martin? Beatrice Kaufman? Anonymous?

Picture of gold bars from Unsplash

Question for Quote Investigator: Poverty can cause unhappiness and despair. Yet, there is no easy solution to this human predicament because wealth does not guarantee joy and happiness. A popular humorist once stated:

It’s hard to tell what brings happiness. Poverty and wealth have both failed.

A remark of this type has been attributed to Kin Hubbard. Would you please help me to find the correct phrasing and a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The full name of Kin Hubbard was Frank McKinney Hubbard. For more than three decades Hubbard published a widely syndicated one-panel comic strip featuring an everyman character named Abe Martin. In 1930 Hubbard published a panel containing the following line. The word “purty” was an informal version of “pretty”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

It’s purty hard to tell what does bring happiness. Poverty an’ wealth have both failed.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: I Used To Be Indecisive, But Now I’m Not So Sure

Boscoe Pertwee? Umberto Eco? Christopher Hampton? Nigel Rees? Mario Cuomo? Apocryphal?

Road sign symbolizing indecision from Pixabay

Question for Quote Investigator: Making definitive choices is arduous. A humorous expression reflects this predicament:

I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

This quip has been attributed to Boscoe Pertwee who reportedly was an eighteenth-century wit, but I cannot find any evidence that Pertwee actually existed. Also, the earliest matches I can find occurred in the twentieth century. Thus, I have become skeptical. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The skepticism is justified. The false attribution to Boscoe Pertwee was constructed as a prank as explained further below.

The earliest approximate match known to QI occurred in the 1970 London play “The Philanthropist” by British playwright and screenwriter Christopher Hampton. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

PHILIP. (Bewildered.) I’m sorry. (Pause.) I suppose I am indecisive. (Pause.) My trouble is, I’m a man of no convictions. (Longish pause.) At least, I think I am. (Celia starts laughing.) What’s the joke?
CELIA. I am fond of you.

In 1971 a reviewer from “The Wall Street Journal” saw the New York production of “The Philanthropist”. The comical line uttered by the character Philip caught the reviewer’s attention, and it was reprinted in the newspaper:2

Incapable of any sort of firmness, he never declares himself on any subject or even on any person: “I suppose I am indecisive.  My trouble is, I’m a man of no convictions. At least, I think I am.”

In 1976 the earliest exact match found by QI appeared in the “Manchester Evening News” of England within a column called “Mr Manchester’s Diary”. The creator of the line was anonymous:3

OVERHEARD at the hair salon: “I used to be indecisive but now I’m not so sure.”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Misprint Origin: A Large Crow Remained on the Platform for Half an Hour Singing ‘Rock of Ages’

Ethel Smyth? William Booth? C. S. Lewis? W. H. Auden? Benjamin Harrison? Anonymous?

Illustration of a crow from Pixabay

Question for Quote Investigator: Newspapers have produced hilarious statements due to misprints. According to an entertaining anecdote, a prominent religious figure once visited a town, and the local periodical reported:

After his train had left the station a large crow remained on the platform for half an hour singing ‘Rock of Ages.’

I do not know if this tale is accurate. Would you please explore instances of the crow/crowd misprint?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Newspapers do occasionally substitute the word “crow” for “crowd”. Here is an overview listing examples. The word “verified” appears adjacent to genuine mistakes that occurred in newspapers. The word “unverified” labels instances that were described in newspapers and books. These instances might have been jokes instead of genuine mistakes.

1891: Verified: An enthusiastic crow at the station gave three rousing cheers as the train drew out

1899: Verified: A lively scrap and large, enthusiastic crows at each game made them very gingerful

1913: Verified: A large crow attended singing here Sunday afternoon

1916: Verified: A large crow remained, evidently with the expectation that an early verdict would be returned.

1919: Unverified: A large crow remained on the platform for half an hour singing ‘Rock of Ages’

1933: Verified: Small but Enthusiastic Crow Sees Football Battle Here

1950: Unverified: At the conclusion of the exercises, a large crow remained in the hall, singing ‘Abide with Me’

1986: Unverified: A large crow remained on the platform singing lustily “God be with you till we meet again”

1997: Unverified: Welcomed by ‘a small but enthusiastic crow’

Below are details for selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: Birthdays Are Feathers in the Broad Wing of Time

Jean Paul? Johann Paul Friedrich Richter? Charles T. Brooks? H. L. Mencken? Apocryphal?

Picture of an owl in flight from Unsplash

Question for Quote Investigator: The experience of a birthday inspires philosophical reveries in some older people. Apparently, a literary figure once wrote:

Birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.

This statement has been credited to the German Romantic writer Johann Paul Friedrich Richter (also known as Jean Paul). I have not been able to find a citation. Would you please help?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The novel “Titan” was published between 1800 and 1803 by Johann Paul Friedrich Richter. One section contained a letter from the character Albano to the character Roquairol (also known as Karl). The letter used multiple metaphors to discuss aging. For example, feathers marked the passage of time. Also, all of humanity appeared on a long river together with Charon, the ferryman of the Greek underworld. Here is an English rendering of the pertinent passage followed by the original German text with a scan. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

– Karl, often on my birthday I counted the growing years, the feathers in the broad wing of time, and thought about the passing of youth; then I stretched out my hand to a friend who would stay with me in Charon’s boat, in which we are born, when the seasons of life pass before me on the bank with flowers and leaves and fruits, and when the human race rushes down the long river in a thousand cradles and coffins.

– Karl, oft zählt’ ich am Geburttage die wachsenden Jahre ab, die Federn im breiten Flügel der Zeit, und bedachte das Verrauschen der Jugend; da streckt’ ich weit die Hand nach einem Freunde aus, der bei mir im Charons Nachen, worin wir geboren werden, stehen bliebe, wenn vor mir die Jahrzeiten des Lebens am Ufer vorüberlaufen mit Blumen und Blättern und Früchten und wenn auf dem langen Strom das Menschengeschlecht in tausend Wiegen und Särgen hinunterschießet.

QI believes that the popular English saying under examination was derived from the text above. The English statement is more concise and simpler.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: Once a Philosopher; Twice a Pervert

Voltaire? Richard Francis Burton? Judith Krantz? Bennett Cerf? Norman Mailer? Jean Cocteau? Apocryphal?

Engraving of Voltaire and Frederick II of Prussia by Pierre Charles Baquoy

Question for Quote Investigator: A notorious anecdote claims that a prominent philosopher was once asked to join a group of libertines engaging in carnal behavior. The philosopher consented, and the group admired the performance. Yet, when asked to join the group again the response was:

“No, my friends. Once a philosopher; twice a pervert!”

This statement has been attributed to Voltaire (penname of François-Marie Arouet). I am skeptical because I have not seen a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match known to QI appeared in 1886 within volume ten of “The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night” (Arabian Nights) translated and annotated by the famous British explorer and writer Richard Francis Burton. This version of the anecdote was about two people and not a group. The phrase “Sage of Ferney” referred to Voltaire. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

. . . the popular anecdote of Voltaire and the Englishman who agreed upon an “experience” and found it far from satisfactory. A few days afterwards the latter informed the Sage of Ferney that he had tried it again and provoked the exclamation, “Once a philosopher: twice a sodomite!”

Voltaire died in 1778. The delay of more than one hundred years  before the emergence of this story signals that its credibility is minimal.

The variability of this adage and anecdote make tracing difficult. Below is a snapshot summary showing members of this family of sayings together with dates. The general template is “Once an X; Twice a Y”, and the meanings of these statements differ:

1845: Une fois philosophe; deux fois joueur déterminé.
1845: Translation: Once a philosopher; twice a determined gambler.
1878: Once a philosopher, twice a fool.
1886: Once a philosopher: twice a sodomite.
1929: Once, a philosopher; twice, a beast.
1943: Once: a philosopher; twice: a pervert.
1951: Une fois, c’est être philosophe ; deux fois, c’est être … autre chose.
1951: Translation: Once is to be a philosopher; twice is to be … something else.
1963: Un fois philosophe; deux fois bougre.
1963: Translation: Once a philosopher; twice a bugger.
1974: Once a philosopher, twice a pederast.
1975: Once, a philosopher. Twice, a degenerate.
1978: Une fois, c’est être philosophe ; deux fois, c’est être pédéraste.
1978: Translation: Once is to be a philosopher; twice is to be a pederast.

Below are details for selected citations in chronological order.

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