Quote Investigator® – Page 93

Quote Origin: I Say Hardly Any of Those Clever Things That Are Attributed To Me

Dorothy Parker? Yogi Berra? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Numerous sharp remarks have been credited incorrectly to the well-known wit Dorothy Parker. She was well aware of these misattributions, and she once commented that many of those clever remarks were not hers. Would you please help me to find a citation for her general disclaimer?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1941 journalist Hubbard Keavy spoke to Dorothy Parker and asked about the proliferation of epigrams and witticisms ascribed to her. She replied with humor. The ellipsis was in the original text. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

“Quips? Oh. Ridiculous, isn’t it? To have such a reputation, I mean.

“I am not witty and I am not funny. But I do have a reputation as a smarty pants…I say hardly any of those clever things that are attributed to me. I wouldn’t have time to earn a living if I said all those things.”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: In Order To Be Irreplaceable One Must Always Be Different

Coco Chanel? Marcel Haedrich? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: A cookie created with a cookie cutter is easily replaceable, and this fact lowers its perceived value. This baking utensil is employed in a metaphorical insult targeting lack of originality, e.g., cookie-cutter clothes and cookie-cutter houses.

Understandably, people like to view themselves as irreplaceable. Yet, to achieve this distinction a person must be in some way unique. The famous fashion designer Coco Chanel made this point in a quotation. Would you please help me to find a citation?.

Reply from Quote Investigator: Coco Chanel (Gabrielle Bonheur Chanel) died in 1971, and in that same year, French journalist Marcel Haedrich published “Coco Chanel: Secrète” which included a section listing quotations ascribed to Chanel titled “Elle disait” (“She said”). The following were three of her remarks in the original French. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

En matière de mode aussi, il n’y a que les imbéciles qui ne changent pas d’avis.

La couleur? Celle qui vous va.

Pour être irremplaçable, il faut rester différente.

The translation of Haedrich’s book into English appeared a year later under the title “Coco Chanel: Her Life, Her Secrets”. The three statements above were rendered as follows:²

That it is only fools who never change their views applies as well in fashion.

What is the best color? The one that most becomes you.

In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Don’t Pray When It Rains If You Don’t Pray When the Sun Shines

Satchel Paige? Billy Sunday? Hal Boyle? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Prayers are typically offered when a dangerous situation is encountered or when a disturbing event occurs. Yet, prayers of joy and thankfulness are also appropriate when something positive happens. The following metaphorical guidance is pertinent:

Don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines.

These words have been credited to the acclaimed baseball pitcher Leroy Paige (Satchel Paige). Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1959 Hal Boyle, a columnist with the Associated Press, wrote a piece about Satchel Paige that included quotations from the Hall of Famer . Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

“Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find another way. And don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines.”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: You Might Dispense With Half Your Doctors If You Would Only Consult Doctor Sun More

Henry Ward Beecher? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The famous nineteenth-century clergyman, social reformer, and orator Henry Ward Beecher offered some intriguingly modern health advice. He felt that people should “consult Doctor Sun more”. They should frequently enjoy the open air, sunlight, and rain. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: On May 6th, 1860 Henry Ward Beecher spoke at Plymouth Church of New York City before the Brooklyn Young Men’s Christian Association. His speech on “Physical Culture” appeared in “The American Phrenological Journal”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

There are here and there men found wise enough to take a portion of every day for some form of exercise—to live for hours in the open air every day. The very sun itself is doctor. I think you might dispense with half your doctors if you would only consult Doctor Sun more, and be more under the treatment of those great hydropathic doctors, the clouds! To be in the rain will do you good, if you only keep stirring. To be much in the open air every day, rain or shine, summer or winter, I consider one of the indispensable conditions of general health.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Dialogue Origin: “Did Hamlet Have an Affair with Ophelia?” “In My Theater Company, Invariably”

John Barrymore? Walter Sichel? William Powell Frith? Anonymous Scene-Shifter? Johnston Forbes-Robertson? Arthur Machen? Cedric Hardwicke? Errol Flynn?

Question for Quote Investigator: The theater world has long been known for complex tempestuous relationships between cast members on and off the stage. One comical tale concerns the ambiguous relationship between Hamlet and Ophelia presented in William Shakespeare’s renowned tragedy.

An inquisitive theatergoer asked a well-known stage manager, “Did Hamlet have an affair with Ophelia?” The manager quickly responded, “In my company, always”.

Would you please explore the history of this tale?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1923 “The Sands of Time: Recollections and Reflections” by Walter Sichel appeared. The author relayed a story he heard from the painter William Powell Frith who died in 1909. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

At one time he delighted to go behind the scenes of the theatre and chat with the scene-shifters. One of them appeared very intelligent, and Mr. Frith asked him if he had ever himself been a player. He had, in the provinces. Had he ever acted Shakespeare? Of course he had, he had played in ‘Amlick, he had, indeed, acted the chief part.

“Very interesting,” said Mr. Frith, “please tell me what is your conception of Hamlet’s relation to Ophelia. Did he, so to speak, love her not wisely but too well?” “I don’t know, sir, if ‘Amlick did, but I did,” was the unblushing answer.

The key line was delivered by an anonymous thespian who also worked as a member of a stage crew. This family of anecdotes is highly variable in expression; thus, the origin is difficult to trace.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Socialism Would Take Too Many Evenings

Oscar Wilde? H. G. Wells? George Bernard Shaw? Michael Walzer? Arnold S. Kaufman? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Some forms of socialism are implemented via a participatory process. An engaged citizenry would attend meetings, learn about different approaches, discuss topics, formulate policies, build consensus, and vote. These tasks can be quite laborious. Here are two versions of a critical statement:

Socialism would take too many evenings.
The trouble with socialism is that it takes up too many evenings.

This saying has been attributed to the famous wit Oscar Wilde, the science fiction author H. G. Wells, and the prominent playwright George Bernard Shaw. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Oscar Wilde died in 1900. H. G. Wells died in 1946. G. B. Shaw died in 1950. QI has not yet found convincing evidence that this remark was made by any of these three luminaries.

The earliest match found by QI appeared in the journal “Dissent” in 1968. Political theorist Michael Walzer published “A Day in the Life of a Socialist Citizen: Two Cheers for Participatory Democracy”. Walzer asserted that: “Self-government is a very demanding and time-consuming business”, and he referred to “meetings of study groups, clubs, editorial boards, and political parties where criticism will be carried on long into the night”. Emphasis added to excerpts:¹

Socialism, Oscar Wilde once wrote, would take too many evenings. This is, it seems to me, one of the most significant criticisms of socialist theory that has ever been made. The fanciful sketch above is only intended to suggest its possible truth. Socialism’s great appeal is the prospect it holds out for the development of human capacities.

The statement attributed to Wilde was not enclosed in quotation marks; hence, it was possible that Walzer was using his own words to present a paraphrase or summary of Wilde’s viewpoint. Currently, QI does not know the underlying source, and QI hopes that this article can be used as a starting point for future researchers who will make additional advances.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: When You’re 60 You Realize No One Was Ever Thinking About You

Winston Churchill? Will Rogers? Jock Falkson? Ann Landers? Ewan McGregor? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: One’s sensitivity to the opinions of others often changes as one matures. The following statement has been attributed to statesman Winston Churchill:

When you’re 20 you care what everyone thinks, when you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks, when you’re 60 you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place.

I have been unable to find a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has found no substantive support for the attribution to Winston Churchill. Historian and Churchill quotation expert Richard M. Langworth signaled his skepticism when he included the statement in an article titled “All the ‘Quotes’ Winston Churchill Never Said”.¹

QI believes that the saying evolved over time, and famous humorist Will Rogers popularized an intriguing tripartite variant in the 1930s. See further below.

A thematic precursor was written by prominent lexicographer Samuel Johnson in 1751 who noted that most people were preoccupied with their own affairs. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:²

But the truth is, that no man is much regarded by the rest of the world, except where the interest of others is involved in his fortune. The common employments or pleasures of life, love or opposition, loss or gain, keep almost every mind in perpetual agitation. If any man would consider how little he dwells upon the condition of others, he would learn how little the attention of others is attracted by himself.

In August 1934 “The Minneapolis Star” of Minnesota printed an anonymous three-part saying based on the ages of 20, 30, and 40 instead of 20, 40, and 60. The attitudes expressed in the first two parts were flipped with respect to the target quotation. The attitude specified in the third part matched the target:³

At 20 we don’t care what the world thinks of us; at 30 we worry about what it thinks of us; at 40 we discover it doesn’t think of us.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: When You Don’t Promote, a Terrible Thing Happens . . . Nothing

P. T. Barnum? Pat Williams? Billboard? Ford Saeks? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Human attention is a scarce commodity. Considerable effort is required to attract potential customers to a new business or product. Here are two versions of a pertinent saying:

Without advertising, a terrible thing happens . . . Nothing.
Without promotion, something terrible happens . . . Nothing.

These statements have been attributed to the famous showman Phineas T. Barnum. What do you think?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has found no substantive evidence that this saying was employed by P. T. Barnum who died in 1891.

The earliest strong match located by QI appeared in December 1975 in “The Danville Register” of Virginia. A radio station printed a message encouraging readers to purchase broadcast advertisements. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

When you don’t Promote
A terrible thing Happens
NOTHING
WDVA/RADIO

The author was unspecified, and QI believes an anonymous copywriter crafted the statement. Many years later, circa 1999, the saying was implausibly reassigned to P.T. Barnum.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Dear Sir, I Have Read Your Play. Oh, My Dear Sir. Yours Faithfully

Herbert Beerbohm Tree? Albert Chevalier? John Clayton? Johnston Forbes-Robertson? John Golden? James Wallen? John Alfred Calthrop? Charles Dillingham? Anonymous? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Successful producers and directors are regularly sent screenplays and scripts by individuals with high aspirations. Unfortunately, these products of creativity are often terrible. One theater manager in the 1800s responded with a devastating two sentence assessment. The critical words have been attributed to the prominent English actor-manager Herbert Beerbohm Tree. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in “The Era” newspaper of London in 1888. A short item of “Theatrical Gossip” credited the actor and theater manager John Clayton with delivering the harsh assessment in a letter. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

A young author sent a play to the late Mr John Clayton, and begged him to read it. After a few days he received the MS. and the following characteristic reply:—“Dear Sir,—I have read your play— Oh! my dear sir.—Yours, J.C.”

The same item appeared in other newspapers in 1888 such as the “South Wales Echo” of Glamorgan, Wales.²

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: God Is Really Only Another Artist. He Invented the Giraffe, the Elephant, and the Cat. He Has No Real Style

Pablo Picasso? Françoise Gilot? Carlton Lake? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The famous Spanish painter and sculptor Pablo Picasso contemplated the dissimilarity of the animals created by God, e.g., the giraffe, the elephant, and the cat. He concluded that God had no consistent style. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The artist Françoise Gilot was the lover and muse of Pablo Picasso between 1943 and 1953. During this period they had two children together. In 1964 Gilot published a memoir titled “Life with Picasso”. The art critic Carlton Lake was her co-author, and he wrote about the accuracy of her memories in the foreword to the book:¹

Throughout our work on it, I have been continuously impressed by her demonstration of the extent to which that much abused term “total recall” can be literally true. Françoise knows exactly what she said, what Pablo said, every step of the way for the ten years and more that they spent together. The direct quotations from Picasso are exactly that.

Early in their relationship Gilot visited Picasso, and he showed her a large album of his prints which included images of sculptures. Picasso commented on the diversity of styles displayed within his prints. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:²

He doesn’t know what he wants. No wonder his style is so ambiguous. It’s like God’s, God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant, and the cat. He has no real style. He just keeps on trying other things. The same with this sculptor. First he works from nature; then he tries abstraction.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.