Courage Is Resistance To Fear, Mastery of Fear—Not Absence of Fear

Mark Twain? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: Recently, I encountered an insightful quotation about courage attributed to Mark Twain that I had not seen before: Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, and not the absence of fear. Is this a genuine Twain quotation? Where did it appear? Quote Investigator: In December 1893 Mark Twain …

A Baby Learns To Speak in Two Years, But It Takes a Lifetime To Learn To Keep Quiet

Ernest Hemingway? Mark Twain? Luke McLuke? Lydia DeVilbiss? Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.? Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.? Frederick B. Wilcox? Abigail Van Buren? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: While searching the twitter database I encountered the following two similar jokes: (1) Humans need two years to learn to speak and sixty years to learn to shut up. …

Time Is What Keeps Everything From Happening At Once

Albert Einstein? Ray Cummings? Mark Twain? Arthur C. Clarke? John Archibald Wheeler? Arthur Power Dudden? Susan Sontag? Dear Quote Investigator: Albert Einstein has received credit for a humorous remark about time: The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once. Would you please explore the provenance of this quip? Quote Investigator: …

Fame Is a Vapor; Popularity an Accident; Riches Take Wings

Mark Twain? Horace Greeley? N. D. Hillis? Dear Quote Investigator: Two interesting quotations begin with the same phrases but diverge to emphasize different ideas of impermanence: Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wings, those who cheer today will curse …

My Idea of a Gentleman Is He Who Can Play a Cornet and Won’t

Oscar Wilde? Mark Twain? Frank Fiest? Will Rogers? Walter Armstrong? Herman Lindauer? William M. Lewis? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: What do the following musical instruments have in common: cornet, ukulele, saxophone, bagpipes, accordion, and banjo? Each of these instruments has a distinctive sound that is unpleasant to some listeners providing inspiration for a family of …

If There Is a God, He Is a Malign Thug

Mark Twain? Clara Clemens? Justin Kaplan? Harlan Ellison? Darrell Schweitzer? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: Famous author Mark Twain was grief-stricken when his daughter Susy died at age 24. The following expression of bitter despair has been ascribed to him: If there is a God, he is a malign thug. Oddly, no one has presented a …

Never Argue With a Fool, Onlookers May Not Be Able To Tell the Difference

Mark Twain? Biblical Proverb? Apocryphal? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Conflict on social media is now endemic, but it is not really new. Acrimonious exchanges between participants during the primeval days of online forums were known as “flame wars”. Famed humorist Mark Twain has received credit for a germane cautionary remark: Never argue with a fool; …

It Ain’t What You Don’t Know That Gets You Into Trouble. It’s What You Know for Sure That Just Ain’t So

Mark Twain? Josh Billings? Artemus Ward? Kin Hubbard? Will Rogers? Edwin Howard Armstrong? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The Oscar-winning 2015 film “The Big Short” begins with a display of the following statement: It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so. The brilliant …

They Eked Out a Precarious Livelihood by Taking in Each Other’s Washing

Mark Twain? William Morris? Edward Dicey? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Skeptics have questioned the economic viability of small isolated or insular communities by derisively envisioning rudimentary economies based on simple tasks, e.g., individuals would wash clothes for one another. This notion has been credited to humorist Mark Twain and socialist activist William Morris. In modern …

This World Is the Lunatic Asylum of the Universe

Mark Twain? Thomas Jefferson? Voltaire? Edward Young? George Bernard Shaw? Laird MacKenzie? Elsie McCormick? Bertrand Russell? Kurt Vonnegut? Apocryphal? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Several thinkers have offered an anguished explanation for the dangerously disordered state of the world. Here are four versions: This world is the lunatic asylum for other planets. Earth is a madhouse …

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