Tracing Quotations
Mark Twain? Groucho Marx? Wilson Mizner? Sydney J. Harris? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: A funny man once said that he was embarrassed to discover that his behavior had always been scandalous; he had been born in bed with a lady. This line has been connected to Mark Twain, Groucho Marx, and Wilson Mizner. Would you …
Continue reading “To My Embarrassment I Was Born in Bed with a Lady”
Mark Twain? Dick Nolan? Ad Schuster? Betty Carpenter? Bumper Sticker? Jake Ford? Bill Quraishi? John Wallner? Robin Williams? Barry Levinson? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The number of sayings spuriously ascribed to Mark Twain seems to grow every year. Here are two versions of a remark credited to the famous son of Hannibal, Missouri: Politicians and …
Continue reading “Politicians Are Like Diapers. They Should Be Changed Regularly”
Mark Twain? Lyman Beecher Stowe? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The following eccentric dietary advice has been attributed to the famous humorist Mark Twain: Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. I question whether Twain said this because no one provides …
Continue reading “Eat Whatever You Like and Let Them Fight It Out Inside”
Mark Twain? Elbert Hubbard? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Mark Twain followed two thoughtful guidelines regarding smoking: Never smoke more than one cigar at a time. Never smoke while sleeping. Would you please determine when he enunciated these rules? Quote Investigator: In 1905 Mark Twain celebrated his seventieth birthday at the popular New York restaurant Delmonico’s. …
Continue reading “I Have Made It a Rule Never To Smoke More Than One Cigar at a Time”
Creator: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens), famous humorist Context: Understanding the humor in the following passage requires familiarity with the cherry tree legend. A young Washington received a hatchet as a gift and impetuously chopped down a cherry tree owned by his father. When the future president was confronted he said “I cannot tell a lie. …
Roger Branigin? Mark Twain? Charles Brownson? Irving Leibowitz? William I. Greener Jr.? H. L. Mencken? Benjamin Franklin? Dear Quote Investigator: If a newspaper editor or publisher dislikes a viewpoint you are advocating then you may have to endure a long series of negative articles. The following three statements express this notion: Never argue with a …
Continue reading “I Never Argue with a Man Who Buys Ink by the Barrel”
Mark Twain? Agatha Christie? Sally Berger? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: To overcome procrastination one must initiate a task. Although this is straightforward advice it is an arcane approach according to the following adage: The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The famed humorist Mark Twain and the popular mystery writer Agatha Christie have both …
Continue reading “The Secret of Getting Ahead Is Getting Started”
Mark Twain? Albert Bigelow Paine? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: There are a set of statements attributed to the famous humorist Mark Twain about allowable behaviors in heaven: If I cannot swear in heaven I shall not stay there. If I cannot drink bourbon in heaven, then I shall not go. If I can’t smoke cigars …
Continue reading “If I Cannot Swear in Heaven I Shall Not Stay There”
Mark Twain? Madame de Sévigné? Madame Roland? Alphonse de Lamartine? Alphonse Toussenel? Louise de la Rameé? Alfred D’Orsay? Thomas Carlyle? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: A popular expression combines disappointment with humanity together with praise for canines. Here are four versions: The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. The more I learn …
Continue reading “The More I Know About People, the Better I Like Dogs”
Mark Twain? Frank Nelson Doubleday? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: Mark Twain apparently held a very low opinion of book publishers. He suggested that publishers could be created via a multigenerational combination of individuals from lunatic asylums. Could you please help me find a citation for this sentiment? Quote Investigator: In 1897 Frank Nelson Doubleday and …
Continue reading “Recipe To Create a Publisher: Take an Idiot Man from a Lunatic Asylum . . .”