Quote Investigator® – Tracing Quotations

Quote Origin: I Had Exactly Four Seconds To Hot Up the Disintegrator and Google Had Told Me It Wasn’t Enough

Raymond Chandler? Barry N. Malzberg? Vlad
Savov? Apocryphal?

**A science fictional device of unknown purpose**

Question for Quote Investigator: Apparently, sometime during the 1950s a popular writer of detective fiction wrote a short passage parodying science fiction. Within the passage the word “Google” appeared long before the company Google existed. The passage displayed remarkable prescience. The word “Google” referred to an entity that provided information. Would you please explore this topic and provide a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The writer Raymond Chandler is best known as the creator of the hardboiled detective character Philip Marlowe. In 1953 Chandler sent a letter to a friend which included a jargon-filled passage parodying science fiction writing. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Did you ever read what they call Science Fiction. It’s a scream. It is written like this: “I checked out with K 19 on Aldabaran III, and stepped out through the crummalite hatch on my 22 Model Sirus Hardtop. I cocked the timejector in secondary and waded through the bright blue manda grass. My breath froze into pink pretzels.”

The final sentence of Chandler’s passage included the word “Google”:²

‘The sudden brightness swung me around and the Fourth Moon had already risen. I had exactly four seconds to hot up the disintegrator and Google had told me it wasn’t enough. He was right.”

They pay brisk money for this crap?

Chandler used the pronoun “he” when referring back to “Google”; hence, the character “Google” may have been a male human, a male alien, or a personified computing device.

Chandler may have been influenced by the comic strip character Barney Google or by the term “Googol” which refers to the enormous number 10¹⁰⁰ which can be written as 1 followed by one hundred zeroes.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: It’s Hard To Tell What Brings Happiness. Poverty and Wealth Have Both Failed

Kin Hubbard? Abe Martin? Beatrice Kaufman? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Poverty can cause unhappiness and despair. Yet, there is no easy solution to this human predicament because wealth does not guarantee joy and happiness. A popular humorist once stated:

It’s hard to tell what brings happiness. Poverty and wealth have both failed.

A remark of this type has been attributed to Kin Hubbard. Would you please help me to find the correct phrasing and a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The full name of Kin Hubbard was Frank McKinney Hubbard. For more than three decades Hubbard published a widely syndicated one-panel comic strip featuring an everyman character named Abe Martin. In 1930 Hubbard published a panel containing the following line. The word “purty” was an informal version of “pretty”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

It’s purty hard to tell what does bring happiness. Poverty an’ wealth have both failed.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: I Used To Be Indecisive, But Now I’m Not So Sure

Boscoe Pertwee? Umberto Eco? Christopher Hampton? Nigel Rees? Mario Cuomo? Apocryphal?

**Road sign symbolizing indecision from Pixabay**

Question for Quote Investigator: Making definitive choices is arduous. A humorous expression reflects this predicament:

I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

This quip has been attributed to Boscoe Pertwee who reportedly was an eighteenth-century wit, but I cannot find any evidence that Pertwee actually existed. Also, the earliest matches I can find occurred in the twentieth century. Thus, I have become skeptical. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The skepticism is justified. The false attribution to Boscoe Pertwee was constructed as a prank as explained further below.

The earliest approximate match known to QI occurred in the 1970 London play “The Philanthropist” by British playwright and screenwriter Christopher Hampton. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

PHILIP. (Bewildered.) I’m sorry. (Pause.) I suppose I am indecisive. (Pause.) My trouble is, I’m a man of no convictions. (Longish pause.) At least, I think I am. (Celia starts laughing.) What’s the joke?
CELIA. I am fond of you.

In 1971 a reviewer from “The Wall Street Journal” saw the New York production of “The Philanthropist”. The comical line uttered by the character Philip caught the reviewer’s attention, and it was reprinted in the newspaper:²

Incapable of any sort of firmness, he never declares himself on any subject or even on any person: “I suppose I am indecisive. My trouble is, I’m a man of no convictions. At least, I think I am.”

In 1976 the earliest exact match found by QI appeared in the “Manchester Evening News” of England within a column called “Mr Manchester’s Diary”. The creator of the line was anonymous:³

OVERHEARD at the hair salon: “I used to be indecisive but now I’m not so sure.”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Misprint Origin: A Large Crow Remained on the Platform for Half an Hour Singing ‘Rock of Ages’

Ethel Smyth? William Booth? C. S. Lewis? W. H. Auden? Benjamin Harrison? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Newspapers have produced hilarious statements due to misprints. According to an entertaining anecdote, a prominent religious figure once visited a town, and the local periodical reported:

After his train had left the station a large crow remained on the platform for half an hour singing ‘Rock of Ages.’

I do not know if this tale is accurate. Would you please explore instances of the crow/crowd misprint?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Newspapers do occasionally substitute the word “crow” for “crowd”. Here is an overview listing examples. The word “verified” appears adjacent to genuine mistakes that occurred in newspapers. The word “unverified” labels instances that were described in newspapers and books. These instances might have been jokes instead of genuine mistakes.

1891: Verified: An enthusiastic crow at the station gave three rousing cheers as the train drew out

1899: Verified: A lively scrap and large, enthusiastic crows at each game made them very gingerful

1913: Verified: A large crow attended singing here Sunday afternoon

1916: Verified: A large crow remained, evidently with the expectation that an early verdict would be returned.

1919: Unverified: A large crow remained on the platform for half an hour singing ‘Rock of Ages’

1933: Verified: Small but Enthusiastic Crow Sees Football Battle Here

1950: Unverified: At the conclusion of the exercises, a large crow remained in the hall, singing ‘Abide with Me’

1986: Unverified: A large crow remained on the platform singing lustily “God be with you till we meet again”

1997: Unverified: Welcomed by ‘a small but enthusiastic crow’

Below are details for selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Birthdays Are Feathers in the Broad Wing of Time

Jean Paul? Johann Paul Friedrich Richter? Charles T. Brooks? H. L. Mencken? Apocryphal?

**Picture of an owl in flight from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: The experience of a birthday inspires philosophical reveries in some older people. Apparently, a literary figure once wrote:

Birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.

This statement has been credited to the German Romantic writer Johann Paul Friedrich Richter (also known as Jean Paul). I have not been able to find a citation. Would you please help?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The novel “Titan” was published between 1800 and 1803 by Johann Paul Friedrich Richter. One section contained a letter from the character Albano to the character Roquairol (also known as Karl). The letter used multiple metaphors to discuss aging. For example, feathers marked the passage of time. Also, all of humanity appeared on a long river together with Charon, the ferryman of the Greek underworld. Here is an English rendering of the pertinent passage followed by the original German text with a scan. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

– Karl, often on my birthday I counted the growing years, the feathers in the broad wing of time, and thought about the passing of youth; then I stretched out my hand to a friend who would stay with me in Charon’s boat, in which we are born, when the seasons of life pass before me on the bank with flowers and leaves and fruits, and when the human race rushes down the long river in a thousand cradles and coffins.

– Karl, oft zählt’ ich am Geburttage die wachsenden Jahre ab, die Federn im breiten Flügel der Zeit, und bedachte das Verrauschen der Jugend; da streckt’ ich weit die Hand nach einem Freunde aus, der bei mir im Charons Nachen, worin wir geboren werden, stehen bliebe, wenn vor mir die Jahrzeiten des Lebens am Ufer vorüberlaufen mit Blumen und Blättern und Früchten und wenn auf dem langen Strom das Menschengeschlecht in tausend Wiegen und Särgen hinunterschießet.

QI believes that the popular English saying under examination was derived from the text above. The English statement is more concise and simpler.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Once a Philosopher; Twice a Pervert

Voltaire? Richard Francis Burton? Judith Krantz? Bennett Cerf? Norman Mailer? Jean Cocteau? Apocryphal?

**Engraving of Voltaire and Frederick II of Prussia by Pierre Charles Baquoy**

Question for Quote Investigator: A notorious anecdote claims that a prominent philosopher was once asked to join a group of libertines engaging in carnal behavior. The philosopher consented, and the group admired the performance. Yet, when asked to join the group again the response was:

“No, my friends. Once a philosopher; twice a pervert!”

This statement has been attributed to Voltaire (penname of François-Marie Arouet). I am skeptical because I have not seen a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match known to QI appeared in 1886 within volume ten of “The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night” (Arabian Nights) translated and annotated by the famous British explorer and writer Richard Francis Burton. This version of the anecdote was about two people and not a group. The phrase “Sage of Ferney” referred to Voltaire. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

. . . the popular anecdote of Voltaire and the Englishman who agreed upon an “experience” and found it far from satisfactory. A few days afterwards the latter informed the Sage of Ferney that he had tried it again and provoked the exclamation, “Once a philosopher: twice a sodomite!”

Voltaire died in 1778. The delay of more than one hundred years before the emergence of this story signals that its credibility is minimal.

The variability of this adage and anecdote make tracing difficult. Below is a snapshot summary showing members of this family of sayings together with dates. The general template is “Once an X; Twice a Y”, and the meanings of these statements differ:

1845: Une fois philosophe; deux fois joueur déterminé.
1845: Translation: Once a philosopher; twice a determined gambler.
1878: Once a philosopher, twice a fool.
1886: Once a philosopher: twice a sodomite.
1929: Once, a philosopher; twice, a beast.
1943: Once: a philosopher; twice: a pervert.
1951: Une fois, c’est être philosophe ; deux fois, c’est être … autre chose.
1951: Translation: Once is to be a philosopher; twice is to be … something else.
1963: Un fois philosophe; deux fois bougre.
1963: Translation: Once a philosopher; twice a bugger.
1974: Once a philosopher, twice a pederast.
1975: Once, a philosopher. Twice, a degenerate.
1978: Une fois, c’est être philosophe ; deux fois, c’est être pédéraste.
1978: Translation: Once is to be a philosopher; twice is to be a pederast.

Below are details for selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Adversity Is the Trial of Principle; Without It, One Hardly Knows Whether One Is an Honest Person

Henry Fielding? Charles Grandison? Samuel Richardson? Anonymous?

**Facing adversity by climbing a cliff. Image from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: To avoid a major hardship an individual will sometimes abandon an ethical principle or a close friend. Experiencing a setback reveals a person’s inner strengths and weaknesses. Here are three versions of a pertinent saying:

(1) Adversity is the trial of principle; without it, one hardly knows whether one is an honest person.

(2) Adversity is the trial of principle; without it, a man hardly knows whether he is an honest man.

(3) Adversity is the trial of principle. Without it a man hardly knows whether he is honest or not.

This statement is usually credited to the 19^th century English writer Henry Fielding. However, I am skeptical of this attribution because I cannot find a solid citation. Would you please help me to find the correct creator?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1753 the prominent English writer Samuel Richardson published an epistolary novel titled “The History of Sir Charles Grandison”. Richardson was responding to the popular and scandalous novel “The History of Tom Jones, a Foundling” by Henry Fielding. Censorious readers believed that Fielding’s main character, Tom Jones, was morally defective.

Richardson’s main character, Sir Charles Grandison, was intended to embody the highest moral principles. A letter from Grandison presented one of his precepts: Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Adversity is the trial of principle; Without it, a man hardly knows whether he is an honest man.

Thus, the quotation should be credited to Samuel Richardson and not to his literary rival Henry Fielding.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Adage Origin: Anything Worth Doing Is Worth Doing Slowly

Mae West? Gypsy Rose Lee? Ann Richards? Emma Bullet? Anonymous?

**Watering plants in a garden from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Activities such as growing a garden, consuming a savory dish, and dancing a striptease are best when performed slowly. An adage embodies this idea:

If it is worth doing then it is worth doing slowly.

This saying has been attributed to the movie star Mae West, the ecdysiast Gypsy Rose Lee, the politician Ann Richards, and others. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1896 journalist Emma Bullet published a piece in “The Brooklyn Daily Eagle” of New York. She discussed traveling the world, and she criticized the strategy of visiting a series of locations very quickly. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

I have always been an enemy of the latter way of taking a rapid view of things, for what is worth doing at all is worth doing slowly and well, and I have deemed it more profitable to give one’s own well pondered judgment of a small corner of the world than to give other people’s opinion of the universe.

The passage above was the earliest close match located by QI. Based on this citation Emma Bullet helped to popularize the adage, and she may have created it. However, there is a significant chance that earlier citations will be uncovered in the future.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Real Success Is Finding Your Lifework in the Work That You Love

David McCullough? Mark Twain? Apocryphal?

**Avatars representing professions from Pixabay**

Question for Quote Investigator: Pulitzer Prize-winning historian David McCullough has received credit for an insightful expression about career choice:

Real success is finding your lifework in the work that you love.

I am having difficulty finding a citation. Would you please help?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1996 David McCullough delivered a commencement address at Hamilton College in New York. The Associated Press news service reported his remarks which included the following. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

“Never, ever, lose your energy and never, ever lose your idealism,” said McCullough, who won the Pulitzer for his biography “Truman.”

“Real success is finding your life work in the work that you love. That’s it. Don’t worry about making a living, don’t worry about popularity or fame. Make what you do and what you make count more than what you own. Find work that you love.”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: There Are Moments When Time and Space Are More Profound, and the Sensation of Existence Is Immensely Heightened

Charles Baudelaire? Christopher Isherwood? Sonya Stephens? Apocryphal?

**Illustration of a white rose from Pixabay**

Question for Quote Investigator: The French poet, essayist, and art critic Charles Baudelaire wrote provocatively about his experiences in life including erotic feelings, drug-induced states, and cosmic perceptions. Apparently, he once said:

There are moments in one’s existence when time and space are deepened, and the feeling of existence is immensely heightened.

The original statement was in French, and I do not know the exact phrasing. Would you please help me to find a citation if one exists?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Charles Baudelaire died in 1867. His posthumous works included a collection of short passages called “Fusées” (“Flares”) which contained the following text. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Le surnaturel comprend la couleur générale et l’accent, c’est-à-dire intensité sonorité, limpidité, vibrativité, profondeur et retentissement dans l’espace et dans le temps.

Il ya des moments de l’existence où le temps et l’étendue sont plus profonds, et le sentiment de l’existence immensément augmenté.

The passage above is difficult to translate. In 1930 the English novelist Christopher Isherwood published the following rendering:²

The supernatural comprises the general colour and accent—that is to say, the intensity, sonority, limpidity, vibrancy, depth and reverberation in Space and Time.

There are moments of existence at which Time and Duration are more profound, and the Sense of Being is enormously quickened.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Raymond Chandler? Barry N. Malzberg? VladSavov? Apocryphal?

Kin Hubbard? Abe Martin? Beatrice Kaufman? Anonymous?

Ethel Smyth? William Booth? C. S. Lewis? W. H. Auden? Benjamin Harrison? Anonymous?

Jean Paul? Johann Paul Friedrich Richter? Charles T. Brooks? H. L. Mencken? Apocryphal?

Voltaire? Richard Francis Burton? Judith Krantz? Bennett Cerf? Norman Mailer? Jean Cocteau? Apocryphal?

Henry Fielding? Charles Grandison? Samuel Richardson? Anonymous?

Mae West? Gypsy Rose Lee? Ann Richards? Emma Bullet? Anonymous?

David McCullough? Mark Twain? Apocryphal?

Charles Baudelaire? Christopher Isherwood? Sonya Stephens? Apocryphal?

Raymond Chandler? Barry N. Malzberg? Vlad
Savov? Apocryphal?