I Am an Old Man and Have Known a Great Many Troubles, But Most of Them Never Happened

Mark Twain? Thomas Jefferson? Martin Farquhar Tupper? Seneca? Winston Churchill? James A. Garfield? Thomas Dixon? Michel de Montaigne? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Everyone faces difficulties in life; however, the worry-filled anticipation of possible setbacks pointlessly magnifies dangers. A comical statement illuminating this theme has been attributed to both Mark Twain and Winston Churchill:

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

I hope you will be willing to explore this saying. An upbeat perspective suggests that great discoveries await.

Quote Investigator: A version of this quip was ascribed to Mark Twain in a Singapore newspaper in 1923, but Twain died in 1910; hence, this evidence is quite weak. Winston Churchill employed an instance of the saying in 1924, but he attributed the words to an anonymous “old man”. Details for these citations are given further below.

The earliest strong match located by QI was published in 1881. The humorous remark was spoken by President-elect James A. Garfield who was discussing the large number of tasks he would be facing as President. The statement was reported in the Cleveland Leader of Cleveland, Ohio, and the phrasing indicated that Garfield was referencing a saying that was already in circulation:[ref] 1881 February 19, Cleveland Leader, The Next President: Visited Yesterday by the Now Popular Governor Murray, Article section header: I Have Got Into A Way, Quote Page 2, Column 3, Cleveland, Ohio. (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

I remember the old man who said he had had a great many troubles in his life, but the worst of them never happened.

Interesting ideational precursors of this expression were used by Seneca the Younger, Thomas Jefferson, and Martin Farquhar Tupper.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order which trace the evolution of the sentiment and the saying.

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Military Intelligence is a Contradiction in Terms or an Oxymoron

Groucho Marx? George Carlin? John Charteris? Theodor Reik? Doctor Who? Shirley Hazzard? Niall MacDermot? Sam Ervin? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: The famous comedians Groucho Marx and George Carlin are both credited with a joke that can be expressed in many ways. Here are some examples:

Military Intelligence is an oxymoron.
Military Intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Military Intelligence are two mutually exclusive words.
Military Intelligence are two terms that do not go together.

Did either of these well-known humorists make a remark of this type?

Quote Investigator: There is good evidence that both Groucho Marx and George Carlin employed a version of this quip. However, the earliest evidence located by QI points to a surprising person. John Charteris was a British Brigadier-General and the primary intelligence officer for Field Marshal Douglas Haig, the leader of the British Expeditionary Forces during World War I.[ref] Oxford Dictionary of National Biography, Entry: John Charteris, (1877–1946) by J. M. Bourne, Oxford University Press. (First published 2004; online edition dated October 2008) (Accessed oxforddnb.com on June 20 2012) link [/ref]

In 1931 Charteris wrote “At G.H.Q.” which described his experiences at the military general headquarters during the war. Charteris employed an instance of the expression when he recounted the dismissive attitude of a statesman toward information obtained via intelligence work. Boldface has been added to excerpts below:[ref] 1931, At G.H.Q. by John Charteris, (Diary entry is dated February 5, 1916 but the content may have been amplified at a later date), Quote Page 135 and 136, Cassell and Company, Ltd., London. (Verified on paper; Thanks to the librarians at Denison University)[/ref]

Curzon did not give much time to Intelligence work. I fancy Military Intelligence to him is a contradiction in terms.

The entry containing the text above appeared in a section dated February 5, 1916, but it may have been updated and amplified later, sometime between 1916 and 1931.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Forgiveness Is the Fragrance the Violet Sheds on the Heel That Has Crushed It

Mark Twain? George Roemisch? Sophia May Eckley? Ella A. Giles? Elizabeth Reeves Humphreys? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The following evocative metaphorical definition of forgiveness is often attributed to Mark Twain:

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

But I have seen the quotation below credited to someone named George Roemisch in the popular advice column “Dear Abby”:

Forgiveness is the fragrance of the violet which still clings fast to the heel that crushed it.

I find this example of figurative speech fascinating. Is the ascription to Twain accurate? Would you explore the history of this type of saying?

Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Mark Twain said or wrote this statement. It is not listed on the TwainQuotes.com website edited by Barbara Schmidt, an important reference tool for checking expressions ascribed to the humorist. Also, it does not appear in the large compilation “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips”. The unsupported linkage to Twain was printed in newspapers by the 1970s. See details further below.

This metaphor does have a very long history and a variety of plants with aromas have been substituted into its framework. In 1794 a prominent scholar of ancient India and languages named Sir William Jones delivered a lecture titled “The Philosophy of the Asiaticks”.

Jones discussed the topic of forgiveness and its figurative representation in a work he credited to a pandit. The sandalwood tree has a close-grained wood that is prized for its long-lasting fragrance. In the following passage the destructive force was provided by an axe and not a foot:[ref] 1807, The Works of Sir William Jones in Thirteen Volumes, Volume 3, Discourse The Eleventh on The Philosophy of the Asiaticks, (Lecture delivered on February 20, 1794), Start Page 229, Quote Page 243, Printed for John Stockdale and John Walker, London. (Google Books full view) link [/ref]

…the beautiful Aryá couplet, which was written at least three centuries before our era, and which pronounces the duty of a good man, even in the moment of his destruction to consist not only in forgiving, but even in a desire of benefiting, his destroyer, as the Sandal-tree, in the instant of its overthrow, sheds perfume on the axe, which fells it…

An 1812 a book by Reverend Charles Colton discussed forgiveness and employed the same metaphor while citing the words of Sir William Jones in a footnote. Colton presented a “sandal-tree” as an example of a plant which had been “wronged” but reacted with “forgiveness” and “kindness”:[ref] 1812, Hypocrisy: A Satire, in Three Books: Book the First by Rev. C. Colton (Charles Caleb Colton), Quote Page 235 to 237, Printed and Sold by T. Smith, London. (Google Books full view) link [/ref]

The falling Sandal-Tree sheds fragrance round,
Perfumes the axe that fells it to the ground;
Some through their tortured trunks a balm supply,
And to give life to their destroyer—die;

In 1845 a poem titled “Father! Forgive Them!” used the symbol of a “floweret” which had been crushed beneath a foot to represent forgiveness. The overall context of the work was Christian:[ref] 1845 August 2, The Literary Museum: A Repository of the Useful and Entertaining, Volume 2, Number 15, “Father! Forgive Them!”, (Acknowledgement: From “The Covenant”), Quote Page 116, Column 3, Published by John B. Hall & Co., Boston, Massachusetts. (Google Books full view) link [/ref]

“Father, forgive them!” As a floweret fair,
When crushed beneath some rude and careless tread,
Breathes forth its fragrance on the balmy air,
Regaling him who hath its beauties shed

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I Believe the Market Is Going to Fluctuate

John Pierpont Morgan? John D. Rockefeller? William Rockefeller? Jay Gould? Jesse Livermore?

Dear Quote Investigator: The best-known prediction for investors is also the most humorously vacuous. According to legend a young person approached one of the top businessmen in the U.S. and asked with an undertone of desperation for guidance in the stock market. The prominent man looked gravely at his questioner and replied:

I believe the market will fluctuate.

Who crafted this unerringly accurate and perfectly useless forecast? I have heard it attributed to the powerful financier J. P. Morgan and the major industrialist John D. Rockefeller.

Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence located by QI appeared in an anecdote credited to Henry Poor in the pages of the Wall Street Journal in October 1922. Today, Henry Poor is remembered as the founder of the firm which became the powerhouse financial analysis company called Standard & Poor’s. He died in 1905 several years before the article presenting the tale was published.

In this version of the story Poor was inquiring about a set of companies called Standard Oils. There were several Standard Oil companies, e.g., Standard Oil of Ohio and Standard Oil of New Jersey, even before the breakup mandated by anti-trust regulators in 1911. The companies were linked together through a trust structure, and John D. Rockefeller was the most powerful owner and executive of the Standard Oil Trust:[ref] 1922 October 18, Wall Street Journal, What of the Market?, Quote Page 2, Column 5, New York. (ProQuest)[/ref]

Henry Poor used to tell this story: He walked down to the financial district with John D. Rockefeller one morning and tried to elicit some information as to the market for Standard Oils. The latter passed two blocks before giving an answer and then said slowly, “I think they will fluctuate.” During the next few days they dropped over 30 points.

In 1924 another instance of the story was printed in the Washington Post. The questioner was an unidentified young person:[ref] 1924 December 31, Washington Post, Straight Talks About Money: Acting on Financial Tips by Mary Elizabeth Allen, Quote Page 10, Column 5, Washington D.C. (ProQuest)[/ref]

A smart young man is said to have approached Mr. Rockefeller with the question, “Mr. Rockefeller, what do you think Standard Oil stocks will do?” After ponderous deliberation, the reply was, “Young man, I think they will fluctuate.”

In 1926 the book “Security Speculation: The Dazzling Adventure” was published, and the author presented a variant of the anecdote featuring John Pierpont Morgan instead of Rockefeller. The inquiry concerned the overall stock market and not specific securities. Also, the label “legend” was already being employed:[ref] 1926, Security Speculation: The Dazzling Adventure by Laurence H. Sloan (Laurence Henry Sloan), Quote Page 17, Harper & Brothers, New York and London. (Verified on paper)[/ref]

Legend avers that an alert young man once found himself in the immediate presence of the late Mr. J. P. Morgan. Seeking to improve the golden moment, he ventured to inquire Mr. Morgan’s opinion as to the future course of the stock market. The alleged reply has become classic: “Young man, I believe the market is going to fluctuate.”

It did. It always has. Perhaps it always will. In the main, security prices are always and eternally going somewhere.

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She Runs the Gamut of Human Emotion from A to B

Dorothy Parker? Katharine Hepburn? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: There is a famously severe criticism that was aimed at an inexpressive theater performer or movie star in the 1930s. Here are two prototypes:

This performer ran the gamut of human emotion all the way from A to B.

This thespian runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.

Can you tell me who spoke this line and who was being criticized?

Quote Investigator: This quip is usually credited to the notable wit Dorothy Parker, and she reportedly was attacking the skills of the movie star Katharine Hepburn. But there is some uncertainty about when Parker made the remark. The earliest evidence in the 1930s is not directly from Parker; in fact, the information appears to be thirdhand. Finally, in a 1971 book the movie director and writer Garson Kanin stated that he asked Parker about the gibe, and she acknowledged that it was hers, but she also extolled Hepburn’s artistry.

In January 1934 a columnist in The New York Sun newspaper stated that Parker spoke the jest at a cocktail party. The columnist also referred negatively to Katharine Hepburn’s performance in the film “Christopher Strong”:[ref] 1934 January 6, New York Sun, The Talking Pictures by John S. Cohen, Jr., Quote Page 9, Column 1, New York, New York. (Old Fulton)[/ref]

Which calls to mind the latest sweetly venomous remark of Miss Dorothy Parker anent Miss Hepburn (the Miss Hepburn principally of the lamentable “Christopher Strong”). It was delivered as Miss Parker swept or lolled recently into a cocktail party:

“Come,” she said, “let’s all go to see Miss Hepburn and hear her run the gamut of emotions from A to B!”

On February 16, 1934 an article in a newspaper in New Orleans, Louisiana ascribed the barb to Parker and suggested that the precipitating event was a Broadway show:[ref] 1934 February 16, Times-Picayune, Up and Down the Street by the Want Ad Reporter, Quote Page 27, Column 2, New Orleans, Louisiana. (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

When Katharine Hepburn appeared in a play on Broadway, ’tis said that Dorothy Parker cracked: “Miss Hepburn ran the whole gamut of emotions—from A to B.”

On February 19, 1934 Time magazine discussed the joke and gave a precise location. According to the periodical Parker delivered the line during an intermission period of “The Lake” which was a Broadway production that ran from December 26, 1933 to February 1934. Hepburn had a primary role in this play, but the show and her efforts were not well-received:[ref] Website: IBDB Internet Broadway Database, Entry: The Lake, Martin Beck Theatre, 1933, Website description: “IBDB (Internet Broadway Database) archive is the official database for Broadway theatre information. IBDB provides records of productions from the beginnings of New York theatre until today.” (Accessed ibdb.com on September 26, 2013) link [/ref][ref] 1934 February 19, Time, “The Theatre: New Plays in Manhattan: Feb. 19, 1934”, Time Inc., New York. (Accessed time.com on September 26, 2013; Time magazine online archive)[/ref]

During an intermission of The Lake, Dorothy Parker remarked to others in her party: “Well, let’s go back and see Katharine Hepburn run the gamut of human emotion from A to B.”

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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When I Wrote It, Only God and I Knew the Meaning; Now God Alone Knows

Robert Browning? Johann Paul Friedrich Richter? Jakob Böhme? Johann Gottlieb Fichte? Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel? Friedrich Gottlieb Klopstock? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The popular play “The Barretts of Wimpole Street” dramatized the compelling love story between the poets Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning. The work was first performed in the 1930s and was later made into two films and a television series. I recall one wonderfully humorous scene during which Barrett told Browning that she was confused by a section of one of his poems, and she asked for an explanation:

ELIZABETH BARRETT: Well?

ROBERT BROWNING: Well, Miss Barrett, when that passage was written only God and Robert Browning understood it. Now, only God understands it.

Recently, I discovered that this quip has also been ascribed to the celebrated philosopher Hegel. No doubt “The Barretts of Wimpole Street” was fictionalized, but I wonder if Browning did make a remark of this type. Could you explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: This comical anecdote has an extensive history with similar comments attributed to Johann Paul Friedrich Richter, Jakob Böhme, Johann Gottlieb Fichte and others. Well-known writers such as Harriet Beecher Stowe, Mark Twain, and G. K. Chesterton were amused enough to record the remark.

The earliest instance known to QI appeared in a London newspaper in 1826 and featured the German writer Johann Paul Friedrich Richter who died shortly before in 1825. The anecdote used the alternate appellation John Paul Richter. The capitalization is in the original text. Boldface has been added to excerpts below:[ref] 1826 August 9, The Morning Chronicle, Issue 17755, The Mirror of Fashion, Quote Page 3, Column 1, London, England. (19th Century British Newspapers: Gale)[/ref]

The works of JOHN PAUL RICHTER are almost uninteresting to any but Germans, and even to some of them. A worthy German, just before RICHTER’S death, edited a complete edition of his works, in which one particular passage puzzled him. Determined to have it explained at the source, he went to JOHN PAUL himself, and asked him what was the meaning of the mysterious passage. JOHN PAUL’S reply was very German and characteristic. “My good friend,” said he, “when I wrote that passage, God and I knew what it meant. It is possible that God knows it still; but as for me, I have totally forgotten.”

This story can be expressed in many ways and instances before 1826 may exist. Early examples of the anecdote typically feature German intellectuals, and the tale may have appeared previously in a German language book or periodical.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Improper Words: Have You Been Searching for Them?

Samuel Johnson? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: After Samuel Johnson published his masterful dictionary of the English language he was reportedly approached by two prudish individuals:

“Mr. Johnson, we are glad that you have omitted the indelicate and objectionable words from your new dictionary.”

“What, my dears! Have you been searching for them?”

Recently, I heard a different version of this anecdote in which an interlocutor was unhappy to discover that improper words were present in the new opus:

“I am sorry to see, Dr. Johnson, that there are a few naughty words in your dictionary.”

“So, madam, you have been looking for them?”

Could you explore these contradictory tales?

Quote Investigator: Samuel Johnson released “A Dictionary of the English Language” in 1755, and the earliest printed evidence of this anecdote known to QI appeared in April 1785. An article titled “Dr. Johnson at Oxford, and Lichfield” in the London periodical “The Gentleman’s Magazine” recounted a meeting between the great linguist and an admirer:[ref] 1785 April, The Gentleman’s Magazine, “Dr. Johnson at Oxford, and Lichfield”, Start Page 288, Quote Page 288, Column 2, Printed by John Nichols for D. Henry, London. (Google Books full view) link [/ref]

A literary lady expressing to Dr. J. her approbation of his Dictionary and, in particular, her satisfaction at his not having admitted into it any improper words; “No, Madam,” replied he, “I hope I have not daubed my fingers. I find, however that you have been looking for them.”

In July 1785 the same story was disseminated further when it was reprinted in “The Scots Magazine”.[ref] 1785 July, The Scots Magazine, Volume 47, Anecdote, Quote Page 347, Column 1, Printed by Murray and Cochrane, Edinburgh, Scotland. (Google Book full view) link [/ref]

Different versions of this tale have been propagated for more than 230 years. In 1829 an instance was published in which two women were named as Johnson’s conversation partners: Mrs. Digby and Mrs. Brooke. They commended the dictionary-maker for omitting naughty words and received the same cleverly acerbic response.

By 1884 a variant anecdote was circulating in which an individual “was sorry to find a few naughty words” in the two-volume lexicon. Johnson’s reply was largely unmodified. The details for these citations are given further below.

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I’m as Pure as the Driven Slush

Tallulah Bankhead? Joan Collins? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Two vibrant actresses have been connected to a satirical statement about purity: Tallulah Bankhead and Joan Collins. I think that the statement was made as a humorous self-description. But it may have been made as a criticism. Here are two versions:

I’m as pure as the driven slush.
She is as pure as the driven slush.

Could you explore this saying?

Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence located by QI appeared in the widely-distributed syndicated column of Walter Winchell in 1941:[ref] 1941 September 3, Tucson Daily Citizen, Walter Winchell On Broadway, Quote Page 4, Column 2, Tucson, Arizona. (NewspaperArchive)[/ref][ref] 1941 September 3, Omaha World Herald, Walter Winchell On Broadway, Quote Page 6, Column 5, Omaha, Nebraska. (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

Tallulah, however, is still indifferent to what others think and say of her. As indifferent as she was a dozen seasons ago when a prudish interviewer asked: “Would you call yourself a pure woman?” “Yes,” said Bankhead, “I’m as pure as the driven slush.”

In 1947 The Saturday Evening Post published a seven page profile of Tallulah Bankhead with the title “Alabama Tornado” by Maurice Zolotow. The quotation was repeated in the article, but it was not spoken during the interview:[ref] 1947 April 12, Saturday Evening Post, Volume 219, Issue 41, Alabama Tornado by Maurice Zolotow, Start Page 15, Quote Page 17, Column 1, Saturday Evening Post Society, Inc., Indianapolis, Indiana. (Academic Search Premier EBSCO)[/ref][ref] Oxford Dictionary of Quotations, Edited by Elizabeth Knowles, Entry: Tallulah Bankhead, Oxford University Press. (Accessed Oxford Reference Online on September 10, 2011)[/ref][ref] 2006, The Yale Book of Quotations by Fred R. Shapiro, Section: Tallulah Bankhead, Page 43, Yale University Press, New Haven. (Verified on paper) [/ref]

Secretly, she is pleased with her largely unfounded reputation as one of the wickedest women of the age. She once cracked, “I’m as pure as the driven slush.”

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The Intuitive Mind Is a Sacred Gift and the Rational Mind Is a Faithful Servant

Albert Einstein? Bob Samples? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: A well-known scholar delivered a lively and appealing lecture online which included the following quotation. The words were attributed to Einstein, but I am skeptical:

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.

Does this quotation interest you enough to investigate?

Quote Investigator: Albert Einstein died in 1955. The earliest evidence known to QI linking Einstein to this expression appeared in the 1976 book “The Metaphoric Mind: A Celebration of Creative Consciousness” by Bob Samples. The author did not claim he was quoting Einstein; instead, Samples was presenting his personal interpretation of Einstein’s perspective. Boldface has been added to the following excerpts:[ref] 1976, The Metaphoric Mind: A Celebration of Creative Consciousness by Bob Samples, Quote Page 26, Addison-Wesley Publishing Company, Reading, Massachusetts. (Verified on paper)[/ref]

The metaphoric mind is a maverick. It is as wild and unruly as a child. It follows us doggedly and plagues us with its presence as we wander the contrived corridors of rationality. It is a metaphoric link with the unknown called religion that causes us to build cathedrals — and the very cathedrals are built with rational, logical plans. When some personal crisis or the bewildering chaos of everyday life closes in on us, we often rush to worship the rationally-planned cathedral and ignore the religion. Albert Einstein called the intuitive or metaphoric mind a sacred gift. He added that the rational mind was a faithful servant. It is paradoxical that in the context of modern life we have begun to worship the servant and defile the divine.

QI hypothesizes that the words of Samples have been altered over time to match the modern quotation given by the questioner. Also, the resultant expression has improperly been assigned directly to Albert Einstein. In addition, the reader should note that the final sentence is presented as the opinion of Samples and not Einstein.

Several researchers have been unable to locate a statement by Einstein matching the expression above though Einstein did speak highly of intuition. Samples articulated his opinion about Einstein’s beliefs more than once. For example, on a later page in the same book he wrote the following:[ref] 1976, The Metaphoric Mind: A Celebration of Creative Consciousness by Bob Samples, Quote Page 62, Addison-Wesley Publishing Company, Reading, Massachusetts. (Verified on paper)[/ref]

This quality — invention — is what led Einstein and others to view the intuitive qualities of the metaphoric mind as a “sacred gift.” It is enriched by an infinity of knowings, and it ceaselessly repatterns these to a compound infinity of possibilities as it wanders across the face of the world.

In 1977 “The Phi Delta Kappan” magazine published an article by Bob Samples titled “Mind Cycles and Learning” which included this passage:[ref] 1977 May, The Phi Delta Kappan, Issue title: Turmoil in Teacher Education, Volume 58, Number 9, Mind Cycles and Learning by Bob Samples, Start Page 688, Quote Page 689, Published by Phi Delta Kappa International. (JSTOR) link [/ref]

Albert Einstein once spoke of intuition as a sacred gift and likened rationality to a faithful servant. Our basic purpose was to shift the tendency to worship the servant and ignore the sacred.

Note that the second sentence reflected the goal of Samples.

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“To Be Is To Do” “To Do Is To Be” “Do Be Do Be Do”

Kurt Vonnegut? Frank Sinatra? Jean-Paul Sartre? Dale Carnegie? Bud Crew? Socrates? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: The 1982 novel “Deadeye Dick” by the popular author Kurt Vonnegut mentioned the following piece of graffiti:

“To be is to do”—Socrates.
“To do is to be”—Jean-Paul Sartre.
“Do be do be do”—Frank Sinatra.

I think this tripartite list first appeared in bathroom stalls in the 1960s or 1970s, but sometimes different authors were specified. Could you explore the history of this humorous scrawled message?

Quote Investigator: The earliest published description located by QI of a graffito that conformed to this template appeared in the “Dallas Morning News” of Dallas, Texas in January 1968. According to the columnist Paul Crume the graffito was created in an incremental process by three different people. The initiator was a local businessman in Richardson, Texas:[ref] 1968 January 29, Dallas Morning News, Paul Crume’s Big D, Quote Page A1, Column 6, Dallas, Texas. (The spelling “Leo-Tzu” is used in the original text instead of the more common “Lao-Tzu”) (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

Bud Crew says that a month ago he wrote this on the warehouse wall at Bud’s Tool Cribs in Richardson: “‘The way to do is to be.’—Leo-tzu, Chinese philosopher.”

A few days later, a salesman wrote under that: “‘The way to be is to do.’—Dale Carnegie,”

Recently, says Crew, an anonymous sage has added still another axiom: “‘Do be, do be, do.’ — Frank Sinatra.”

The phrase ascribed to the famous vocalist Sinatra was derived from his version of the song “Strangers in the Night” which was a number-one hit in 1966. Near the end of the track Sinatra sang a sequence of nonsense syllables that could be transcribed as “do de do be do” or “do be do be do”. This distinctive and memorable stylization has sometimes been parodied.[ref] YouTube video, Title: Strangers in The Night – Frank Sinatra, Artist: Frank Sinatra, Uploaded on July 6, 2007, Uploaded by: kumpulanvideo, (Quotation starts at 2 minute 23 seconds of 5 minutes 10 seconds) (Accessed on youtube.com on October 18, 2013) link [/ref]

In July 1968 this graffito tale was included in a syndicated series called “Weekend Chuckles” from General Features Corporation; hence, it achieved wide dissemination. Some details were omitted, e.g., Bud Crew’s name was not given, but the graffito was nearly identical. The spelling of “Leo-tzu” was changed to “Lao-tse”:[ref] 1968 July 28, Times-Picayune, Section 2, Weekend Chuckles, (Syndicated by General Features Corp.), Quote Page 3, Column 1, New Orleans, Louisiana, (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

One fellow was inspired to write on a warehouse wall: “The way to do is to be.—Lao-tse, Chinese philosopher.”

A few days later, a salesman wrote under that: “The way to be is to do.—Dale Carnegie.”

Recently an anonymous sage has added still another message: “Do be, do be, do.—Frank Sinatra.”

In January 1969 a real-estate agent named Joe Griffith ran an advertisement in a South Carolina newspaper that included the tripartite message. The first two statements in this instance were shortened and simplified. In addition, one of the attributions was switched to Socrates:[ref] 1969 January 31, The News and Courier (Charleston News and Courier), (Advertisement for Joe Griffith Inc., Realtor), Quote Page 15B, Column 2, Charleston, South Carolina. (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

Joe Griffith Sez:
“TO BE IS TO DO” Dale Carnegie
“TO DO IS TO BE” Socrates
“DO BE DO BE DO” Frank Sinatra

The message continued to evolve over the decades and many philosophers and authors have been substituted into the template including: Dale Carnegie, Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Jean-Paul Sartre, Albert Camus, John Stuart Mill, William James, William Shakespeare, and Bertrand Russell. The punchline ascribed to Frank Sinatra, in some form, is usually preserved though a variety of other lines have been added to the joke as shown in the 1990 citation further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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