Quote Origin: The Man Who Does Not Read Has No Advantage Over the Man Who Cannot Read

Mark Twain? Joseph D. Eggleston Jr.? Inland Steel Company? Quin Ryan? Abigail Van Buren? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Mark Twain is credited with a marvelous saying about the importance of reading:

A person who won’t read has no advantage over one who can’t read.

I was unable to determine when this saying was created, but I did find another version while searching:

The man who doesn’t read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.

Now, I am suspicious that this adage may not be from Twain. Could you take a look?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Mark Twain said or wrote this maxim. Quotation expert Ralph Keyes1 and Twain specialist Barbara Schmidt2 both indicate that the connection to Twain is unsupported.

The earliest conceptual match for the expression located by QI was stated by Joseph D. Eggleston Jr. in “The Southern Workman” in 1910. Eggleston was the state superintendent of public instruction in Virginia. He advocated providing quality books for children through the library system. Eggleston used rhetorical questions that equated individuals who cannot read with those who do not read:3

Who can see the barely perceptible line between the man who can not read at all and the man who does not read at all? The literate who can, but does not, read, and the illiterate who neither does nor can?

The earliest close match found by QI was published in October 1914 in an item reprinted from the periodical “The Dodge Idea”. Oddly, the context was advertising. An exponent of delivering advertisements through the mail was unhappy that these messages were often thrown away unread. The adage was used twice in the article: once in the header and once in the body, but the statement was not attributed:4

A Man Who Does Not Read Has No Appreciable Advantage Over the Man Who Cannot Read

The man who doesn’t read hasn’t any advantage over the man who can’t read; yet there are many men who consider that the waste basket is the only place for second-class mail. The circular matter that goes through the mails is not intended to be a filler for waste baskets, but its purpose is to suggest a solution of certain problems.

The first ascription to Mark Twain found by QI was published in 1945. The details are given further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Quote Origin: The Man Who Does Not Read Has No Advantage Over the Man Who Cannot Read”

The Future Is Not What It Used To Be

Yogi Berra? Paul Valéry? Laura Riding? Robert Graves? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: I am interested in a saying that is both humorous and shrewd:

The future is not what it used to be.

I have seen several other versions of the saying. The phrasing that uses the word “ain’t” is often credited to Yogi Berra:

The future ain’t what it used to be.
The future’s not what it was.
The future isn’t what it used to be.
The future is no longer what it used to be.

Who should be credited with this witty and sometimes rueful comment?

Quote Investigator: The baseball great Yogi Berra writing in his 1998 volume “The Yogi Book” did claim that he used this expression. A precise timeframe was not given, but the saying was accompanied with a picture from 1974. Yogi also offered an interpretation:[1]1998, “The Yogi Book: I really didn’t say everything I said!” by Yogi Berra, Page 118 -119, Workman Publishing, New York. (Verified on paper)

I just meant that times are different. Not necessarily better or worse. Just different.

The earliest evidence of this saying located by QI was published in 1937 in a journal called “Epilogue” within an article titled “From a Private Correspondence on Reality” by Laura Riding and Robert Graves. The authors who were both prominent literary figures asserted that the perception of the future had changed:[2]1937 Spring, Epilogue: A Critical Summary, Volume III, Journal edited by Laura Riding and Robert Graves, Article: “From a Private Correspondence on Reality” by Laura Riding and Robert … Continue reading

The human mind has reached the end of temporal progress: the future is not what it used to be, and people talk with less and less progenitive self-precipitation into the future, and behave with more and more fatally decisive immediacy. The future, that is, contains nothing but scientific development. It is an involuntary spending and manipulation of physical forces, empty of consciousness: it no longer matters.

Also in 1937 the poet and philosopher Paul Valéry wrote a version of the phrase in French in the essay “Notre Destin et Les Lettres”. In 1948 his words were translated and published in English in “Our Destiny and Literature” which was part of the collection “Reflections on the World Today”. Here is the French statement and the English translation with additional context:[3] 2012, The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs, Compiled by Charles Clay Doyle, Wolfgang Mieder, and Fred R. Shapiro Page 90, Column 2, Yale University Press, New Haven.(Verified on paper)

L’avenir est comme le reste: il n’est plus ce qu’il était

The future, like everything else, is no longer quite what it used to be. By that I mean we can no longer think of it with any confidence in our inductions.

The above Valéry citation is listed in the important reference “The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs” from Yale University Press.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “The Future Is Not What It Used To Be”

References

References
↑1 1998, “The Yogi Book: I really didn’t say everything I said!” by Yogi Berra, Page 118 -119, Workman Publishing, New York. (Verified on paper)
↑2 1937 Spring, Epilogue: A Critical Summary, Volume III, Journal edited by Laura Riding and Robert Graves, Article: “From a Private Correspondence on Reality” by Laura Riding and Robert Graves, Reprinted in: 2001, “Essays from ‘Epilogue’ 1935-1937” by Laura Riding, Robert Graves, Edited by Mark Jacobs, Start Page 163, Quote Page 170, Carcanet Press Limited, Manchester, United Kingdom. (Verified on paper in 2001 reprint)
↑3 2012, The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs, Compiled by Charles Clay Doyle, Wolfgang Mieder, and Fred R. Shapiro Page 90, Column 2, Yale University Press, New Haven.(Verified on paper)

Those Who Mind Don’t Matter, and Those Who Matter Don’t Mind

Theodor Seuss Geisel? Mark Young? Bernard Baruch? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: I am trying to validate a quotation that is credited to Theodor Geisel who is better known as Dr. Seuss, the popular author of children’s books. I have been unable to determine where the quote appeared. The task is complicated because there are so many different versions. Here are four examples:

  1. Do what you want to do, say what you want to say, because those who matter don’t mind, and those who do mind don’t matter.
  2. Say what you want and be who you are, because those who matter don’t mind, and those who matter don’t mind.
  3. Always do what you want, and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.
  4. Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

Some skeptical commentators say that Seuss never wrote it. What do you think?

Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Theodor Seuss Geisel wrote or said this expression. Researchers have been unable to locate the statement in any of his books.

An entertaining precursor appeared in the humor magazine “Punch” in 1855:[1] 1855 July 14, Punch, Or the London Charivari, (Filler item), Quote Page 19, Column 2, London, England. (Google Books Full View) link

A SHORT CUT TO METAPHYSICS.
What is Matter?—Never mind.
What is Mind?—No matter.

The second part of the statement under examination was in circulation by the 1930s. The earliest instance located by QI was printed in 1938 in a journal based in London and written for municipal and county engineers. The phrase was used comically to discount the criticisms directed at housing designs. The words were enclosed in quotation marks suggesting that the quip was already known in 1938:[2]1938 February 1, The Journal of the Institution of Municipal & County Engineers, Volume 64, Number 16, Discussion, [Quotation is contained in the remarks of “Mr. Percy Morris … Continue reading

Mr. Davies himself admitted that it was highly controversial and open to criticism; but criticism concerned both mind and matter. “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind!”

The repetition of clauses together with the reversal of key words embodied a rhetorical technique called antimetabole. In this case, the positions of the words “mind” and “matter” were exchanged.

Starting in the 1940s the expression was used in two popular anecdotes about seating arrangements at parties. The first tale was published in the Canadian periodical “Empire Digest” in February 1946 and featured Sir Mark Young who was at that time the Governor of Hong Kong. In the following excerpt the term “A.D.C.” was used for “aide-de-camp”, a personal assistant:[3]1946 February, Empire Digest, Volume 3, Number 5, Rapier Retort, [Freestanding short anecdote], Quote Page 17, Published by Empire Information, Toronto, Ontario, Canada. (Verified with scans; Thanks … Continue reading

He is the hero of many stories illustrating a rapier-like wit. One of the best is that of the lady, lunching at Government House, who was aggrieved to find herself on Sir Mark’s left instead of his right. She approached her grievance obliquely—but made it fairly obvious. Finally she remarked: “I suppose it is really very difficult for your A.D.C. always to put your guests in their right places?”
“Not at all,” said Sir Mark blandly, “for those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.”

In March 1946 this story was reprinted in the “Lethbridge Herald” newspaper of Alberta, Canada with an acknowledgement to Empire Digest.[4] 1946 March 23, Lethbridge Herald, Rapier Retort, Page 16 [Back Page], Column 3, [Acknowledgement to Empire Digest], Lethbridge, Alberta. (NewspaperArchive)

In May 1946 the anecdote was retold in the “Omaha World Herald” newspaper of Omaha, Nebraska. The setting and participants were the same. Yet, the dialog was somewhat different. The thrust of the punchline was preserved:[5] 1946 May 6, Omaha World Herald, Anecdotes of the Famous: Propriety, Page 12, Column 1, Omaha, Nebraska. (GenealogyBank)

One day, at a luncheon in the Government House, a lady prominent in society was vexed to discover that she had been seated at the end of the table, instead of next to the host.
This was, of course, a great blow to her prestige. At the end of the meal, she approached Sir Mark and said rather tartly:
“Apparently you don’t care where you seat your guests.”
Piqued by her hauteur, he replied:
“Madam, those who really matter, don’t mind where they are seated. And those who mind,” he added, “don’t usually matter.”

In August 1946 an alternate version of the anecdote was printed, and the punchline of the joke was credited to a different prominent person named Bernard Baruch. Baruch was an influential American financier who acted as an advisor to U.S. Presidents. A gossip columnist named Igor Cassini was acknowledged for telling the story and for participating in the dialog: [6] 1946 August 9, Long Island Star-Journal, Going To Town by Hal Eaton, Page 21, Long Island City, New York. (Old Fulton)

B. Baruch, who entertains so many notables, was recently asked by Igor Cassini how he managed the seating arrangements at his soirees. “I suppose it’s really very difficult to put the guests in their correct places.” commented Mr. C. “Not at all,” stated the elder statesman. “Those who matter, don’t mind. Those who mind—don’t matter!”

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Those Who Mind Don’t Matter, and Those Who Matter Don’t Mind”

References

References
↑1 1855 July 14, Punch, Or the London Charivari, (Filler item), Quote Page 19, Column 2, London, England. (Google Books Full View) link
↑2 1938 February 1, The Journal of the Institution of Municipal & County Engineers, Volume 64, Number 16, Discussion, [Quotation is contained in the remarks of “Mr. Percy Morris (Wakefield)”], Quote Page 1277, Published at the Offices of the Institution of Municipal & County Engineers, London. (Verified with scans; Thanks to Dennis Lien and the University of Minnesota library system)
↑3 1946 February, Empire Digest, Volume 3, Number 5, Rapier Retort, [Freestanding short anecdote], Quote Page 17, Published by Empire Information, Toronto, Ontario, Canada. (Verified with scans; Thanks to John McChesney-Young and the University of California, Berkeley library system)
↑4 1946 March 23, Lethbridge Herald, Rapier Retort, Page 16 [Back Page], Column 3, [Acknowledgement to Empire Digest], Lethbridge, Alberta. (NewspaperArchive)
↑5 1946 May 6, Omaha World Herald, Anecdotes of the Famous: Propriety, Page 12, Column 1, Omaha, Nebraska. (GenealogyBank)
↑6 1946 August 9, Long Island Star-Journal, Going To Town by Hal Eaton, Page 21, Long Island City, New York. (Old Fulton)

I Have the Simplest Tastes; I Am Always Satisfied with the Best

Oscar Wilde? Edgar Saltus? Winston Churchill? Randolph Churchill? Lord Birkenhead? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: I have discovered two very similar quotations that are credited to two very different people. The first is ascribed to the legendary wit Oscar Wilde:

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

The second saying is attributed to the statesman Winston Churchill:

I am a man of simple tastes; I am easily satisfied with the best.

I have doubts that both quotes could be accurate, and I haven’t been able to find dates and solid citations for either. Can you help with this?

Quote Investigator: The author Edgar Saltus was a friend of Oscar Wilde, and in 1917 he released a short volume titled “Oscar Wilde: An Idler’s Impression” which included the following dialog between Saltus and Wilde:[1] 1917, Oscar Wilde: An Idler’s Impression by Edgar Saltus, Quote Page 20, Brothers of the Book, Chicago. (Google Books full view) link

“Come to my shop,” I said, “and have dinner with me. Though,” I added, “I don’t know what I can give you.”
“Oh, anything,” Wilde replied. “Anything, no matter what. I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.”

Wilde died in 1900 so the recollection of Saltus was published many years after the event described. Quotation expert Ralph Keyes included Wilde’s remark in his collection “The Wit & Wisdom of Oscar Wilde” and cited the 1917 book of Saltus. [2] 1996, The Wit & Wisdom of Oscar Wilde, Edited by Ralph Keyes, Page 17 and 166, HarperCollins Publishers, New York. (Verified on paper) Quotation maven Nigel Rees also included the quip in “Cassell’s Humorous Quotations”.[3] 2001, Cassell’s Humorous Quotations, Compiled by Nigel Rees, Section: Taste, Page 421, Column 1, [Cassell, London], Sterling Pub. Co., New York. (Verified on paper)

Winston Churchill was associated with a similar statement, but he did not say the words himself. Instead, the comment was reportedly made by the British statesman F. E. Smith who used it when describing Churchill’s tastes. In the following newspaper account from 1948 Randolph Churchill, the son of Winston Churchill, used the name Lord Birkenhead when referring to Smith:[4] 1948 July 28, Greensboro Record, The Lyons Den by Leonard Lyons, Quote Page 6-A, Column 5, Greensboro, North Carolina. (GenealogyBank)

The only hotel Randolph Churchill was able to get into, during his stay in New York, was the Waldorf. Churchill shrugged: “As the late Lord Birkenhead said of my father: ‘Mr. Churchill is a man of very simple tastes. He is always prepared to put up with the best of everything.'”

Next is one additional citation followed by the conclusion.

Continue reading “I Have the Simplest Tastes; I Am Always Satisfied with the Best”

References

References
↑1 1917, Oscar Wilde: An Idler’s Impression by Edgar Saltus, Quote Page 20, Brothers of the Book, Chicago. (Google Books full view) link
↑2 1996, The Wit & Wisdom of Oscar Wilde, Edited by Ralph Keyes, Page 17 and 166, HarperCollins Publishers, New York. (Verified on paper)
↑3 2001, Cassell’s Humorous Quotations, Compiled by Nigel Rees, Section: Taste, Page 421, Column 1, [Cassell, London], Sterling Pub. Co., New York. (Verified on paper)
↑4 1948 July 28, Greensboro Record, The Lyons Den by Leonard Lyons, Quote Page 6-A, Column 5, Greensboro, North Carolina. (GenealogyBank)

Aeroplanes and Tanks Are Only Accessories to the Man and the Horse

Field Marshal Douglas Haig? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Horses were used effectively in warfare for thousands of years. On many occasions horse-mounted cavalry units were decisive on the battlefield. But the development of machine guns, barbed wire, and armored tanks dramatically changed military tactics. The quotation I am interested in has been ascribed to Sir Douglas Haig who was a field marshal in the British Army and a senior officer during World War I:

I believe that the value of the horse and the opportunity of the horse in the future is likely to be as great as ever. Aeroplanes and tanks are only accessories to the men and the horse, and I feel sure that as time goes on you will find just as much use for the horse—the well bred horse—as you have ever done in the past.

These words were supposedly spoken in 1926 when many military strategists had already concluded that mounted soldiers were vulnerable and near obsolete. Is this quotation accurate?

Quote Investigator: On June 4, 1925 Douglas Haig was given an honorary diploma at the annual meeting of the Royal College of Veterinary Surgeons. He addressed the group and spoke about the future use of horses during warfare. The next day “The Times” newspaper of London described Haig’s remarks. Stylistically, the account did not present the comments in the form of direct quotes. For example, the phrase “he believed” was used instead of “I believe”. Here is an extended excerpt to provide context. Paragraph breaks have been added for readability:[1] 1925 June 5, The Times (UK), The Cavalry Arm: Lord Haig On Value in War, Page 8, Column 4, London, England. (Times Digital Archive GaleGroup)

Some enthusiasts to-day talked about the probability of horses becoming extinct and prophesied that the aeroplane, the tank and the motor-car would supersede the horse in future wars. But history had always shown that great inventions somehow or other cured themselves; they always produced antidotes, and he believed that the value of the horse and the opportunity for the horse in the future were likely to be as great as ever.

How could infantry, piled up with all their equipment, take advantage of a decisive moment created by fire from machine-guns at a range of 5,000 to 6,000 yards? It was by utilizing light mounted troops and mounted artillery that advantage could be taken of these modern weapons.

He was all for using aeroplanes and tanks, but they were only accessories to the man and the horse, and he felt sure that as time went on they would find just as much use for the horse—the well-bred horse—as they had ever done in the past. Let them not be despondent and think that the day of the horse was over.

Since the reporter did not use quotation marks it is possible that some of the text was a summary of Haig’s speech and not a verbatim transcript.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Aeroplanes and Tanks Are Only Accessories to the Man and the Horse”

References

References
↑1 1925 June 5, The Times (UK), The Cavalry Arm: Lord Haig On Value in War, Page 8, Column 4, London, England. (Times Digital Archive GaleGroup)

The Great Use of a Life Is to Spend It for Something That Outlasts It

William James? Ralph Barton Perry? Henry James? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: I have been working to confirm the source and accuracy of a quotation that is attributed to the famous philosopher and educator William James. Here are three versions:

  1. The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.
  2. The best use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.
  3. The great use of a life is to spend it for something that outlasts it.

A version of this saying was listed in the Wikipedia entry for James, but more recently it has been removed. Perhaps you can verify this quote and determine the correct version.

Quote Investigator: The earliest published evidence known to QI appeared in the second volume of a massive compendium titled “The Thought and Character of William James: As Revealed in Unpublished Correspondence and Notes, Together with His Published Writings” which was released in 1935. The quotation from James is followed by a comment from the editor Ralph Barton Perry. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1]1935, “The Thought and Character of William James: As revealed in unpublished correspondence and notes, together with his published writings”, Edited by Ralph Barton Perry, Volume II: … Continue reading

“The great use of a life,” James said in 1900, “is to spend it for something that outlasts it.” This outlasting cause was then, as in earlier days, the happiness of mankind.

The 1935 edition of this work did not specify the provenance of the quotation, but a 1948 edition contained a footnote indicating that James’s statement originally appeared in a letter he wrote to W. Lutoslawski on November 13, 1900.[2]1965 (1948 Copyright), The Thought and Character of William James: Briefer Version, by Ralph Barton Perry, Chapter 26: Social and Political Sentiments, Footnote 8, Quote Page 237, Harper Torchbooks: … Continue reading

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “The Great Use of a Life Is to Spend It for Something That Outlasts It”

References

References
↑1 1935, “The Thought and Character of William James: As revealed in unpublished correspondence and notes, together with his published writings”, Edited by Ralph Barton Perry, Volume II: Philosophy and Psychology, Quote Page 289, An Atlantic Monthly Press Book, Little, Brown, and Company, Boston. (Verified on paper) (Internet Archive has an Oxford University Press edition in full view) link
↑2 1965 (1948 Copyright), The Thought and Character of William James: Briefer Version, by Ralph Barton Perry, Chapter 26: Social and Political Sentiments, Footnote 8, Quote Page 237, Harper Torchbooks: Harper & Row, New York. (Verified with scans)

It Takes Courage for a Person to Listen to His Own Goodness and Act On It

Pablo Casals? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: I am hoping you will be interested in researching the following quote:

Each person has inside a basic decency and goodness. If he listens to it and acts on it, he is giving a great deal of what the world needs most. It is not complicated but takes courage. It takes courage for a person to listen to his own goodness and act on it.

It’s all over the web and is attributed to Pablo Casals.

Quote Investigator: The common modern version of the quotation provided by the questioner has been slightly modified from the original statement which was indeed spoken by the renowned cellist Pablo Casals. In December 1959 a profile and interview of Casals by the journalist and activist Norman Cousins was published in The Saturday Review magazine. In the article Casals was referred to as Don Pablo, and the quotation used the word “man” instead of “person”. Here is an excerpt with more context:[1] 1959 December 12, The Saturday Review, Don Pablo: An Editorial, [Interview of Pablo Casals by Norman Cousins], Start Page 24, Quote Page 46, Column 1, Saturday Review, Inc., New York. (Unz)

“The answer to helplessness is not so very complicated,” Don Pablo said. “A man can do something for peace without having to jump into politics. Each man has inside him a basic decency and goodness. If he listens to it and acts it, he is giving a great deal of what it is the world needs most. It is not complicated but it takes courage. It takes courage for a man to listen to his own goodness and act on it. Do we dare to be ourselves? This is the question that counts—and not, must a man be helpless?”

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “It Takes Courage for a Person to Listen to His Own Goodness and Act On It”

References

References
↑1 1959 December 12, The Saturday Review, Don Pablo: An Editorial, [Interview of Pablo Casals by Norman Cousins], Start Page 24, Quote Page 46, Column 1, Saturday Review, Inc., New York. (Unz)

Shake Was a Dramatist of Note; He Lived by Writing Things to Quote

Shake? William Shakespeare? Mulleary? Goethe? Henry Cuyler Bunner? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: While studying English in school I heard the following humorous rhyme about The Bard of Avon:

Shakespeare was a dramatist of note who lived by writing things to quote.

These words are from a longer poem, but I have not been able to locate it. Could you trace this phrase?

Quote Investigator: The full poem was titled “Shake, Mulleary and Go-ethe” and the subject was three famous literary figures: William Shakespeare, Molière (stage name of Jean-Baptiste Poquelin), and Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. It was published in the humor magazine Puck in 1880, and the author was listed as “V. Hugo Dusenbury”. But that name was a pseudonym for Henry Cuyler Bunner who was the long-time editor of Puck.

Below is the second stanza of the poem containing the lines about Shakespeare who was referred to as “Shake”. The author of the poem discussed busts of Shakespeare, Molière, and Goethe on top of a bookcase. The illustration that accompanied the piece is shown at the beginning of this article:[1]1880 January 28, Puck, Volume 6, Number 151, Shake, Mulleary and Go-ethe by V. Hugo Dusenbury [Pseudonym of Henry Cuyler Bunner], Page 762, Keppler & Schwarzmann, New York. (Google Books full … Continue reading

Shake was a dramatist of note;
He lived by writing things to quote.
He long ago put on his shroud:
Some of his works are rather loud.
His bald-spot’s dusty, I suppose.
I know there’s dust upon his nose.
I’ll have to give each nose a sheath–
Shake, Mulleary and Go-ethe.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Shake Was a Dramatist of Note; He Lived by Writing Things to Quote”

References

References
↑1 1880 January 28, Puck, Volume 6, Number 151, Shake, Mulleary and Go-ethe by V. Hugo Dusenbury [Pseudonym of Henry Cuyler Bunner], Page 762, Keppler & Schwarzmann, New York. (Google Books full view) link

“You Look Nice and Cool.” “Thanks! You Don’t Look So Hot Yourself.”

Yogi Berra? Babe Herman? Department Store Sales Woman? Young Student? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: My favorite quotation from Yogi Berra was said when he was introduced to a beautiful model after a baseball game. She complimented him, and his fumbling reply was unintentionally funny:

She said, “You look so nice and cool in that white uniform.”
He said, “Thanks! You don’t look so hot yourself.”

Is this anecdote accurate?

Quote Investigator: This type of comical tale has a long history. In 1934 a newspaper in Illinois printed a version in which the two participants were a “young woman of our village” and a sales woman:[1] 1934 June 17, Rockford Morning Star, Ye Towne Gossip, Page 8, Column 1, Rockford, Illinois. (GenealogyBank)

It was a hot day. She had gone to a department store office to pay her bill, and, impressed by the crisp, fresh appearance of the girl behind the counter, she had exclaimed, “My, but you look cool.” And the girl had gazed across the counter and replied briskly, “You don’t look so hot yourself.”

In July 1937 a New York newspaper printed a version of the story that featured members of the opposite sex. Once again the tale was presented as a humorous piece of non-fiction:[2] 1937 July 28, Evening Recorder, Main Street by H. P. Donlon, That Language of Ours, Page 5, Column 1, Amsterdam, New York. (Old Fulton)

Few stories of the recent heat wave to equal that dug up by Mark Hellinger, who tells about the conversational difficulty of the young man and young woman who had to resort to the old standby, the weather.
“You don’t appear to be minding the heat,” was her gracious lead.
He tried his best to think of a complimentary comeback, but the words did not come. Finally he thought of one.
“Well, you don’t look so hot yourself,” he told her. And then the air grew much cooler.

Eventually, a jocular story of this type was told about a baseball player. Interestingly, the first player who appeared in this anecdote was Babe Herman and not Yogi Berra. An instance featuring Herman was published in 1951, and an instance with Yogi was published in 1956. Details are given further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading ““You Look Nice and Cool.” “Thanks! You Don’t Look So Hot Yourself.””

References

References
↑1 1934 June 17, Rockford Morning Star, Ye Towne Gossip, Page 8, Column 1, Rockford, Illinois. (GenealogyBank)
↑2 1937 July 28, Evening Recorder, Main Street by H. P. Donlon, That Language of Ours, Page 5, Column 1, Amsterdam, New York. (Old Fulton)

So I’m Ugly. So What? I Never Saw Anyone Hit with His Face

Yogi Berra? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: While looking through a book of baseball’s greatest quotations I came across this hilarious reply from Yogi Berra to someone who criticized his appearance:

So I’m ugly. So what? I never saw anyone hit with his face.

Some of the sayings credited to Yogi are bogus, but I hope this one is real. What do you think?

Quote Investigator: There is good evidence starting in 1948 that Yogi did make this quip. The book “Yankee Doodles” by the sports writer Milton Gross contained a collection of profiles of New York Yankee baseball players. The chapter on Yogi contained the following:[1] 1948, Yankee Doodles by Milton Gross, Chapter: Beauty’s Only Skin Deep, Start Page 109, Quote Page 115, House of Kent Publishing Company, Boston, Massachusetts. (Verified on paper)

Yogi may be many things to many people, but he’s not a dope. An amiable youngster, Yogi feels that when his teammates stop kidding him half the pleasure of life will be gone. When they remind him that he’s ugly, Yogi has a pat answer.

“It don’t matter if you’re ugly in this racket. All you have to do is hit the ball and I never saw anybody hit one with his face.”

In 1949 the popular magazine “Collier’s Weekly” published a profile of the ballplayer titled: “Yankee Yogi: I’m Human, Ain’t I?” by the journalist Gordon Manning. Yogi was quoted presenting a very similar quip with the word “anybody” replaced by “nobody”: [2]1949 August 13, Collier’s Weekly, Yankee Yogi: “I’m Human, Ain’t I?” by Gordon Manning, Start Page 21, Quote Page 21, The Crowell-Collier Publishing Company, … Continue reading

But Yogi, an amiable guy of twenty-four and the absolute favorite of everybody in the clubhouse, brushes off those who rib him about his ugliness.

“It don’t matter if you’re ugly in this racket,” he says. “All you gotta do is hit the ball, and I never saw nobody hit one with his face.”

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “So I’m Ugly. So What? I Never Saw Anyone Hit with His Face”

References

References
↑1 1948, Yankee Doodles by Milton Gross, Chapter: Beauty’s Only Skin Deep, Start Page 109, Quote Page 115, House of Kent Publishing Company, Boston, Massachusetts. (Verified on paper)
↑2 1949 August 13, Collier’s Weekly, Yankee Yogi: “I’m Human, Ain’t I?” by Gordon Manning, Start Page 21, Quote Page 21, The Crowell-Collier Publishing Company, Springfield, Ohio. (Unz)