Quote Investigator® – Page 208

Quote Origin: We’re Lost, But We’re Making Good Time!

Yogi Berra? George Lichty? Buddy Blattner? Joe Garagiola? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Famed baseball player Yogi Berra is credited with many hilarious remarks. Once Yogi was driving to the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York with some other players. After passing the same landmark three times a fellow player named Joe Garagiola said “Yogi, you’re lost” and he replied:

Yeah, I know it. But we’re making good time, ain’t we?

I hope this anecdote is true. What do you think?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1998 Yogi Berra published a short volume called “The Yogi Book” containing a series of quotations that Berra claimed were accurately ascribed to him. He presented background information explaining when and why each statement was made. This is a valuable document because a large number of spurious sayings have been attached to the good-natured and larger-than-life figure.

Berra states that he did make a remark of this type while driving to the Hall of Fame in 1972. The other occupants of the vehicle were his wife Carmen and his three sons. “Carmen was giving me a hard time, so I gave it back.” He said:

We’re lost, but we’re making good time!

This suggests that Berra was consciously making a joke. In fact, QI has traced this type of humorous comment as far back as the 1940s. A panel by the cartoonist George Lichty was published in the October 1947 issue of popular periodical Collier’s Weekly. It depicted a uniformed airplane pilot addressing his passengers with the following words:¹

We’re still lost, but we’re making very good time!

Lichty was best known for the long-running syndicated comic strip panel “Grin and Bear It”. Interestingly, he did not formulate the punchline given above. The cartoon was reprinted in Collier’s Weekly in 1948 along with commentary that identified the author of the caption as Buddy Blattner, a baseball player who later became a broadcaster:²

The gag, incidentally, came from the fertile brain of Buddy Blattner, of the New York Giants, who sold it to Collier’s, who farmed it to Lichty.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Show Me a Sane Man and I Will Cure Him

Carl Jung? Sigmund Freud? Guy Bellamy? Jolande Jacobi? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: As part of a book project I have been tracking down quotations credited to the famed psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung. One of the most interesting was:

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

The best citation I have found appeared in a newspaper article in 1975. The words were attributed to Jung, but this date is fourteen years after his death. So I am handing this task off to you, if you chose to accept it. This is a somewhat extreme statement with a humorous edge; hence, it probably did not appear in a monograph or journal article.

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is evidence that Jung made a remark of this type. The English author Vincent Brome has written a large number of biographies including some about individuals in Sigmund Freud’s circle. In 1978 he published a volume about Jung that included information from an interview with Jolande Jacobi, a long-time assistant to the psychiatrist. Jung died in 1961, and the interview was conducted in 1963 according to Brome. Here is an excerpt describing Jung from the biography together with a footnote:¹

It was the explosive person who said one day to his wife, ‘If I get another perfectly normal adult malingering as a sick patient I’ll have him certified!’ And to George Beckwith, his American friend, ‘I’m sometimes driven to the conclusion that boring people need treatment more urgently than mad people.’ Witty on some occasions, he commented to one of his assistants, ‘Show me a sane person and I’ll cure him for you.’ [Footnote 1]

[Footnote 1 for Chapter 23] Jolande Jacobi, author’s interview, 24 Nov 1963.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Universe Is Full of Magical Things Patiently Waiting for Our Wits to Grow Sharper

Bertrand Russell? William Butler Yeats? Eden Phillpotts? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: I adore the following quotation which is attributed to the philosopher Bertrand Russell:

The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.

But recently I saw a different version in which two words had been changed:

The world is full of magic things patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.

This saying was credited to the Irish poet William Butler Yeats. Now my confidence that either of these prominent intellectuals fashioned this quote has been diminished. Can you clear up the confusion?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Russell or Yeats created this saying. QI believes that the original statement was crafted by an English author and playwright named Eden Phillpotts who used the word “universe” instead of “world”:¹

The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.

The best-known works by Phillpotts were part of a series set in Dartmoor, England. He was praised for writing convincing West Country dialect, sympathetic rural characters, and accurate descriptions of topography. He also wrote a popular and long-running play called “The Farmer’s Wife”.²

The quote appeared in a 1919 book titled “A Shadow Passes” that contained a collection of vignettes depicting scenes in nature. Phillpotts noted that a magnifying lens could heighten visual acuity such that the perceived beauty of some plants would be enhanced. The passage that included the saying was about the plant species Menyanthes trifoliate which is commonly known as buckbean:³

In the marshes the buckbean has lifted its feathery mist of flower spikes above the bed of trefoil leaves. The fimbriated flowers are a miracle of workmanship and every blossom exhibits an exquisite disorder of ragged petals finer than lace. But one needs a lens to judge of their beauty: it lies hidden from the power of our eyes, and menyanthes must have bloomed and passed a million times before there came any to perceive and salute her loveliness. The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.

The phrase “wits to grow sharper” referred to the development of sufficient knowledge by mankind to create and use a magnifying lens to reveal the splendor of the buckbean. Phillpotts was suggesting that there are many other “magical things” that will be revealed in the future as our knowledge and capabilities grow.

This post continues with the conclusion, acknowledgment, and bibliographical notes.

Quote Origin This Is the Sort of Nonsense Up With Which I Will Not Put

Winston Churchill? Rudy Vallee? Army Captain? High School Teacher? The Strand Magazine? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: My question concerns a memorable anecdote about the statesman Winston Churchill and the fine points of grammar. In the past many books offering grammatical advice told readers that they must never end a sentence with a preposition. Years ago when Churchill solicited comments by circulating a draft of an important speech he received a criticism that included a correction to his text. One of his sentences was rearranged to comply with the preposition rule. An irate Churchill responded with one of the following ripostes:

This is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put.
This is the kind of arrant pedantry up with which I will not put.
This is the type of impertinence up with which I shall not put.

I enjoy this story and have retold it on numerous occasions because it demonstrates how clumsy a sentence can become when it is mechanically rewritten to comply with a nonsensical prohibition. Sadly, I have learned that his story may be apocryphal. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This famous tale has attracted the interest of many researchers over the decades. The earliest instance known to QI appeared on July 31, 1941 within “The West Sussex Gazette” of Sussex, England. Churchill was not involved; instead, the anecdote featured an unnamed English master from a high school who was called upon to join the military. During correspondence with a superior officer, the English master was scolded for placing a preposition at the end of a sentence, and he responded by employing the comically awkward sentence. The phrase “ticked off” in the passage below meant “scolded”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The superior, who was something of a martinet, precise in matters of composition, “ticked off” his junior for ending a sentence with a preposition. Whereupon the junior, in his reply, while acknowledging himself the obedient servant of his superior in matters affecting his military duties, declined to take orders from him in respect of his use of the English language. This, he announced, was “a thing up with which I will not put”. Perhaps he has learnt otherwise since!

Winston Churchill was connected to this joke in a multi-step process that began in 1943. Details are given further below together with additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: I’ve Had a Perfectly Wonderful Evening, But This Wasn’t It

Groucho Marx? A. E. Thomas? Beatrice Faber? Sidney Skolsky? Hugh Herbert? Walter Catlett? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: When Groucho Marx was leaving a boring party he supposedly said:

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

Did Groucho really insult a host or hostess in this way, or did he use this line in a comedy routine? Incidentally, I saw this quote when I was reading about the fun word “paraprosdokian” which refers to a figure of speech that contains a surprising or unexpected ending.

Reply from Quote Investigator: In a newspaper piece he wrote in 1962 Groucho denied that he ever used this quip to actually insult someone in real life. The details are given further below. Indeed, the earliest examples known to QI were not spoken by Groucho.

In the 1930s the stories told in movies were sometimes serialized in newspapers. In June 1935 an Iowa paper serialized the movie “No More Ladies”. The movie was based on a stage play by A. E. Thomas, and the adaption was performed by Beatrice Faber. The quip appeared in chapter one of the serialization. Boldface has been added to excerpts:¹

She dropped a kiss on Fanny’s forehead. “Good night sweet. If you see Sherry tell him I had a lovely evening but this wasn’t it.”

In October 1936 the Hollywood columnist Sidney Skolsky credited the joke to a popular comedian named Hugh Herbert who had appeared in many movies. Today, Herbert is not well-known, but Groucho’s fame is uneclipsed:²

Hugh Herbert leaving a party, said to the hostess: “I had a lovely evening, but this wasn’t it.”

In November 1936 a column about Sacramento, California asserted that the line was used by an unnamed young man:³

When goodnights were being said, the girl remarked politely to a well-known out-of-town boy, “I hope you enjoyed yourself.” The boy replied just as politely, “Yes, I had a lovely evening, but this wasn’t it.” (Now, I ask you was that nice?)

In 1940 Cosmopolitan magazine published “I Cover Hollywood” by Sidney Skolsky. The columnist printed the quip again, but this time he assigned the phrase to another actor. The context was a discussion of a big party scene in the motion picture “Public Deb No. 1” which was directed by Gregory Ratoff:⁴

Director Ratoff was thinking of using the best line ever pulled at a Hollywood party as a tag for his party sequence. It actually occurred, however, when Walter Catlett, on leaving a swanky party, said to the hostess, “I had a lovely evening, but this wasn’t it.”

In 1941 the Reader’s Digest attached the words to Groucho Marx. A footnote indicated that the performer Eddie Cantor supplied the quotation and ascription:⁵

“I’ve had a wonderful evening,” said Groucho Marx to his hostess as he was leaving a dull Hollywood party, “but this wasn’t it!”*
* Contributed by Eddie Cantor

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: He Has Achieved Success Who Has Lived Well, Laughed Often and Loved Much

Ralph Waldo Emerson? Bessie A. Stanley? Albert Edward Wiggam? Harry Emerson Fosdick? Ann Landers? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: In church this morning I listened to a short discourse on the definition of success. It began:

To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends,…

The speaker credited the words to Ralph Waldo Emerson, but I am confident this ascription is inaccurate. Can you find the real source of this quotation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Your skepticism is well founded. Many of the words you heard were derived from an essay written by Bessie A. Stanley of Lincoln, Kansas. Here is an article about her essay that was published in the Emporia Gazette of Emporia, Kansas on December 11, 1905:¹

A Boston firm recently offered several prizes for the best essay on the subject. “What Constitutes Success?” It was stipulated that the essay must be under one hundred words in length.

A Kansas woman, Mrs. A. J. Stanley of Lincoln, submitted a definition of success in the contest. Mrs. Stanley is the wife of the county superintendent of schools in Lincoln county. Her husband also represented his county in the legislature of 1899. It was considered in competition with several hundred others from all parts of the country, and a few days ago Mrs. Stanley received a draft for two hundred and fifty dollars, with the information that she had won the first prize. Her definition was as follows:

“He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much; who has gained the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children; who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; who has left the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; who has never lacked appreciation of earth’s beauty or failed to express it; who has always looked for the best in others and given the best he had; whose life was an inspiration; whose memory a benediction.”

There are multiple versions of this essay with relatively small differences that are all attributed to Bessie A. Stanley. For example, in 1906 a version was printed in a Springfield, Illinois newspaper that replaced the line immediately below with the next line:²

… who has gained the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children;

… who has gained the trust of pure women and the love of little children;

A considerably altered version of the piece was published in a syndicated newspaper column by Albert Edward Wiggam in 1951. When asked the question “What is success?” Wiggam decided to answer by presenting what he claimed was an abridged version of statements that he credited to Ralph Waldo Emerson:³

Listen to Emerson (abridged): “To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty.

“To find the best in others; to give one’s self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exaltation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived—this is to have succeeded.”

This is the earliest evidence of an association to Emerson located by QI. The beginning of this piece was quite similar to Stanley’s work, and it was thematically congruent, but the latter part of the text diverged significantly. QI has not yet located comparable passages in Emerson’s corpus.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Climate Is What You Expect; The Weather Is What You Get

Mark Twain? Robert Heinlein? A Schoolchild? Caroline B. Le Row? Andrew John Herbertson? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: I am preparing a book about the weather and climate, and I would like to include the following quotation:

The climate is what you expect; the weather is what you get.

Several web sites attribute this remark to Mark Twain, but a source is never given. The only precise citation I could find was to a 1973 novel by the prominent science fiction writer Robert Heinlein. Can you help me with this question?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Heinlein did include a version of this aphorism in his 1973 novel “Time Enough for Love” as you note.

There is no substantive evidence that Twain wrote or said the remark. Yet, he did include a funny comment that contrasted weather and climate in an essay published in 1887 titled “English as She Is Taught”. Twain was reviewing a book that was about to be published under the same title as his essay. The publication of the book was facilitated by Twain, and the volume was inspired by an earlier Portuguese-English phrase book called “English as She Is Spoke” that was riddled with comical errors.

The book “English as She Is Taught” presented a large number of student answers to questions posed by classroom teachers. Caroline B. Le Row collected these answers from her students and from her fellow teachers.¹ Twain’s piece was published in Century magazine, and it contained extensive excerpts together with his commentary. Here is a sample of the humorously inaccurate student responses:²

Gorilla warfare was where men rode on gorillas.

Julius Caesar is noted for his famous telegram dispatch I came I saw I conquered.

Ireland is called the Emigrant Isle because it is beautiful and green.

The imports of a country are the things that are paid for, the exports are the things that are not.

The two most famous volcanoes of Europe are Sodom and Gomorrah.

The Constitution of the United States is that part the book at the end which nobody reads.

Congress is divided into civilized half civilized and savage.

Twain also included the following student remark:

Climate lasts all the time and weather only a few days.

This statement is distinct from the one provided by the questioner, but it is closely connected thematically. Climate and weather are compared via contrasting durations. Since “climate lasts all the time” it is what one would “expect”. Since “weather” lasts “only a few days” one might say it is what one would “get”. The semantic overlap is sufficient that confusion is possible between the two statements. Strictly speaking the phrases in Twain’s essay were attributed to anonymous students.

It is tempting to think that Twain or a teacher concocted some of these amusing remarks. Yet, the full name of the volume was “English as She Is Taught: Genuine Answers to Examination Questions in Our Public Schools”, and Twain supported this claim by saying “all the examples in it are genuine; none of them have been tampered with, or doctored in any way.”

The earliest evidence QI has located of an expression closely matching the questioner’s quotation was published in a textbook from 1901 called “Outlines of Physiography” by the geographer Andrew John Herbertson:³

By climate we mean the average weather as ascertained by many years’ observations. Climate also takes into account the extreme weather experienced during that period. Climate is what on an average we may expect, weather is what we actually get.

In 1902 a book reviewer writing in “The Geographical Teacher” was impressed by the saying, and he further disseminated it by reprinting the statement in his discussion of the textbook. The modern saying is a streamlined version of this adage:⁴

… smart and neat such dicta as “climate is what on an average we expect, weather is what we actually get”; …

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Absinthe: After the First Glass, You See Things As You Wish They Were

Oscar Wilde? Ada Leverson? Leslie Stokes? Violet Wyndham? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The alcoholic psychoactive drink absinthe was banned in the United States and many European countries in the previous century. But now it is legal again. Supposedly, the brilliant wit Oscar Wilde once discussed the phantasmagorical effects of the potion. His description began:

After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. …

Could you locate a full and accurate version of this quotation and tell me whether the words really should be attributed to Oscar Wilde?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence of this quote located by QI was printed in the book “Letters to the Sphinx from Oscar Wilde: With Reminiscences of the Author by Ada Leverson” published in 1930. Scholars consider the quotation credible even though Wilde died three decades earlier in 1900. Wilde and Leverson were good friends, and she supported him during his travails. Sphinx was the nickname that he gave to her. The book was printed in a limited edition impeding straightforward access.

The excellent Smathers Rare Book Library of the University of Florida holds number 240 of an edition containing 275 copies. On pages 39 and 40 of the volume Leverson described a conversation she had with the great wit:¹

One day he was talking of the effect of absinthe. “After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see them as they are not. Finally you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.”

“How do you mean?”

“I mean disassociated. Take a top-hat! You think you see it as it really is. But you don’t, because you associate it with other things and ideas. If you had never heard of one before, suddenly saw it alone, you’ld be frightened, or laugh. That is the effect absinthe has, and that is why it drives men mad.”

Here are additional excerpts and selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Jump Off the Cliff and Build Your Wings on the Way Down

Ray Bradbury? Franco Mancassola? Kurt Vonnegut? Annie Dillard? Anonymous? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The influential publisher Tim O’Reilly recently tweeted a great quotation about entrepreneurship that was used in a commencement address given by DJ Patil, a Data Scientist at a venture capital company.¹ Here is an excerpt from the speech given at the University of Maryland:²

As my good friend Reid Hoffman, one of the founders of LinkedIn, says: Entrepreneurship is jumping off a cliff and assembling a plane on the way down.

Some of the Twitter responses pointed to a saying from the science fiction master Ray Bradbury about building wings after jumping off a cliff. Could you determine what Bradbury actually said?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Bradbury used this vivid metaphor to illustrate boldness and audacity several times. In November 1979 he reviewed a book about the National Air and Space Museum in Washington D.C., and he gave very high praise to the book and the museum:³

It looks like a dream book. Then you suddenly remember it’s all real. Then the long march from the rim of the cave to the edge of the cliff where we flung ourselves off and built our wings on the way down quickens to focus. It’s all here, in a building, in a book.

In October 1986 Bradbury spoke at a one-day symposium on ‘Future Style’ held on the campus of the University of California, Irvine, and his words were reported in the Los Angeles Times:⁴

In his keynote address, author Ray Bradbury declared that if enough people followed their hearts, they could realize their optimistic vision of humanity’s future. Bradbury exhorted his enthusiastic listeners to “jump off the cliff and learn how to make wings on the way down.”

Ascriptions to other authors such as Kurt Vonnegut and Annie Dillard only appeared years later and were not well substantiated. Indeed, Dillard contacted QI directly to state that she never wrote the quotation, and she never spoke it. Details are given further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Stethoscope: That It Will Ever Come Into General Use Is Extremely Doubtful

John Forbes? René Laënnec? The Times of London? Anonymous? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Sometimes the value and importance of an invention is misunderstood. Consider the following quotation about a newly introduced medical device in the 1800s:

That it will ever come into general use, notwithstanding its value, is extremely doubtful; because its beneficial application requires much time and gives a good bit of trouble both to the patient and the practitioner; because its hue and character are foreign and opposed to all our habits and associations.

This dismissive passage was about the stethoscope, a device which powerfully advanced diagnostic knowledge and capabilities in medicine. I am told that these words were printed in The Times newspaper of London in 1834. Could you research this quote to determine its larger context and to find out who precisely wrote it?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The basic form of the stethoscope was invented by the French physician René-Théophile-Hyacinthe Laënnec who published a description of the instrument in 1819. The early stethoscope consisted of a rigid hollow tube, and the physician listened to the sounds in the chest with one ear. Laënnec published a long treatise on the subject in French after introducing the device.

In 1821 Laënnec’s book was translated into English and published as “A Treatise on the Diseases of the Chest, in which they are described according to their Anatomical Characters, and their Diagnosis established on a new Principle by means of Acoustick Instruments”. The translator was John Forbes M.D., Physician to the Penzance Dispensary and Secretary of the Royal Geological Society of Cornwall.

The quotation given above was written by Forbes, and it appeared in the “Translator’s Preface” to the first English edition of Laënnec’s work. In the second edition and later editions the preface was modified and the quotation was removed.

It is tempting with hindsight to describe the opinion offered by Forbes as wrongheaded and foolish. But the quote above is incomplete. Forbes also suggested that the stethoscope was “one of the greatest discoveries in medicine”.¹ Here is a longer excerpt:² ³

… I have no doubt whatever, from my own experience of its value, that it will be acknowledged to be one of the greatest discoveries in medicine by all those who are of a temper, and in circumstances, that will enable them to give it a fair trial. That it will ever come into general use, notwithstanding its value, I am extremely doubtful; because its beneficial application requires much time, and gives a good deal of trouble both to the patient and the practitioner; and because its whole hue and character is foreign, and opposed to all our habits and associations. It must be confessed that there is something even ludicrous in the picture of a grave physician formally listening through a long tube applied to the patient’s thorax, as if the disease within were a living being that could communicate its condition to the sense without.

Forbes thought the stethoscope was an extraordinarily valuable instrument and that is why he expended considerable time and effort in translating Laënnec’s treatise. But he also thought it was difficult to use. Design innovations improved the instrument over time. A rigid tube was replaced by a flexible tube, and a binaural scheme was introduced to allow both ears to be used for listening.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.