Quote Origin: The First Hundred Years Are the Hardest

Wilson Mizner? Thomas Aloysius Dorgan? Tad Dorgan? Bill Downing? Wilton Lackaye? Clare Briggs? Anonymous?

Detail from 1918 comic by Thomas Aloysius Dorgan

Question for Quote Investigator: The initial stages of activities can be quite challenging. This hardship is reflected in following saying: the first year is the hardest. When the required period of endurance is extended to multiple years the saying becomes more outlandish and comical. A wit concocted this extreme statement:

The first hundred years are the hardest.

This saying has been credited to U.S. playwright Wilson Mizner and U.S. cartoonist Thomas Aloysius Dorgan, also known as Tad. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared within a one panel comic by Thomas Aloysius Dorgan in January 1918. A small dog in the lower right of the panel utters the following line. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

WELL, AS BILL DOWNING SAYS THE FIRST 100 YEARS ARE THE HARDEST

QI is unsure of the identity of Bill Downing. Multiple people shared that name in the U.S. in 1918. Perhaps Downing was one of Dorgan’s friends.

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Quote Origin: Humanity Will Begin To Recover the Moment It Takes Art as Seriously as Physics, Chemistry, or Money

Ernst Levy? Apocryphal?

A Young Woman Composing Music by Gabriël Metsu circa 1662

Question for Quote Investigator: A prominent musicologist once said that humankind should take art as seriously as physics, chemistry, and money. If this happens then humankind will begin the road to recovery. I do not recall the precise phrasing. Would you please help me to locate this quotation and the name of its creator?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Swiss musicologist and composer Ernst Levy wrote a letter to a friend in 1945 that was reprinted in the collection “Letters of Composers: An Anthology 1603-1945”. The letter contained a match for the quotation under examination. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

To a humanity looking for elements of hope, music ought to be an important matter. We may even say that man will begin to recover the moment he takes art as seriously as physics, chemistry, or money. There is no other human activity that asks for such a harmonious cooperation of “intellect” and “soul” as artistic creation and, especially, music …

Our mechanized minds need to be musicalized. We have developed only half of man’s possibilities, or rather, have developed that half completely out of proportion to the other half.

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Saying Origin: Socialize the Costs and Privatize the Profits

W. H. Wakinshaw? Erma Angevine? Karl Brandt? Harold Davies? Anonymous?

A person taking a large piece of the economic pie; image from Pixabay

Question for Quote Investigator: Critics of politicians and regulators complain about the preferential treatment given to some companies which act irresponsibly. A company that makes a risky bet or sells a dubious product is protected from the negative consequences by governmental intervention. Yet the same company collects profits when their strategy succeeds. Here are three versions of a pertinent description:

(1) Privatize profits and socialize costs
(2) Socialize the losses and individualize the gains
(3) Individualizing profits and socializing risks

Would you please help me to trace this family of expressions?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The phrasing of this notion is highly variable; hence, it is difficult  to trace. Here is an overview depicting the evolution of the statement together with dates and ascriptions.

1924: Succeeded in individualizing their profits and socializing their risks (W. H. Wakinshaw)

1952 May: A policy that attempts to socialize the losses and to individualize gains (Karl Brandt)

1971 Oct: They pocket the profits and socialize the losses to be passed on to everyone (James Branscome)

1971 Nov: Capitalized the profits while socializing the losses (Harry M. Caudill)

1972 Sep: To socialize the losses while industry continues to individualize the profits (Erma Angevine)

1974 Aug: Socialize the losses on big projects and privatize the profits (Harold Davies)

1975 Feb: Socialize the losses and keep the profits private! (Attributed to boardroom philosopher)

1977 Mar: They want to socialize the risks and privatize the profits (Gene R. La Rocque)

2024 Jun: Socialize the cost and privatize the profit (Old Adage)

Below are details for selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: Thinking Is the Hardest Work Many People Ever Have To Do, and They Don’t Like To Do Any More of It Than They Can Help

Henry Ford? G. K. Chesterton? Robert R. Updegraff? Charles Zueblin? Anonymous?

One illuminated lightbulb in a group of lightbulbs from Pixabay

Question for Quote Investigator: Thinking carefully and rigorously about an issue requires major effort. That helps to explain why shallow, lazy, and self-justifying thought is so common. Here is a pertinent quotation: 

Thinking is the hardest work many people ever have to do, and they don’t like to do any more of it than they can help.

This notion has been attributed to U.S. automobile titan Henry Ford and U.S. sociologist Charles Zueblin. Would you please trace this expression?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1916 advertising specialist Robert R. Updegraff published a short book titled “Obvious Adams: The Story of a Successful Businessman” which included the quotation; however, Updegraff credited the statement to Charles Zueblin. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

… I guess Professor Zueblin is right when he says that thinking is the hardest work many people ever have to do, and they don’t like to do any more of it than they can help. They look for a royal road through some short cut in the form of a clever scheme or stunt, which they call the obvious thing to do; but calling it doesn’t make it so. They don’t gather all the facts and then analyze them before deciding what really is the obvious thing, and thereby they overlook the first and most obvious of all business principles.

QI has not yet found this quotation in the works of Zueblin. Updegraff did not use quotation marks, and he may have been paraphrasing Zueblin. Alternatively, Updegraff’s memory may have been flawed.

Henry Ford did say something similar in 1922 and 1928. Perhaps Ford was influenced by Updegraff’s earlier statement. See the 1922 and 1928 citations listed further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Joke Origin: Frugal Me! Frugal Me!

Milton Berle? Russell Kay? Young Student? Anonymous?

Picture of Neuschwanstein Castle from Pixabay

Question for Quote Investigator: Teachers enjoy sharing an anecdote about a student who was taught that the word “frugal” meant “to save”. Afterwards the student generated the following story:

The beautiful damsel was held prisoner in a tower. When she saw a prince nearby she cried out: “Frugal me! Frugal me!” The prince frugaled her, and they lived happily ever after.

Would you please explore the provenance of this joke?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match for this joke type based on the word “frugal” located by QI appeared in 1915 within “The Goldenrod” journal which was published by the students of Wayne State Normal School in Nebraska. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

A spelling lesson was in progress in Miss Bettcher’s room. One of the boys explained that the word “frugal” meant “to save.” It was suggested that he give an incident in which the word could be properly used. His quotation follows: “I once saw a girl drowning in the ocean. She had both hands up above the water, yelling, “Frugal me! Frugal me!”

The creator of this joke was unidentified, and QI hypothesizes that the gag was already in circulation.

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Quote Origin: Sooner or Later We All Sit Down To the Banquet of Consequences

Robert Louis Stevenson? Robert W. Frank? Frederick B. Harris? Apocryphal?

Picture of a banquet meal from Unsplash

Question for Quote Investigator: If you engage in a beneficial or a harmful activity you may not immediately experience the result. The effect might be significantly delayed, but eventually you will experience the full repercussions. Here are three versions of a pertinent adage:

(1) Everybody, sooner or later, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
(2) Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
(3) Sooner or later everyone sits down to a banquet of consequences.

This saying has been attributed to the Scottish novelist Robert Louis Stevenson who wrote “Treasure Island” and “Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde”. However, I have become skeptical because I have been unable to find a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Researchers have not found an exact match for this saying within the works of Robert Louis Stevenson. A partial match appeared in Stevenson’s essay titled “Old Mortality” published in “Longman’s Magazine” in 1884. Stevenson emphasized the value of reading books. The following passage contained the phrase “game of consequences” instead of “banquet of consequences”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

Books were the proper remedy: books of vivid human import, forcing upon their minds the issues, pleasures, business, importance and immediacy of that life in which they stand; books of smiling or heroic temper, to excite or to console; books of a large design, shadowing the complexity of that game of consequences to which we all sit down, the hanger-back not least.

During the following decades Stevenson’s essay was widely reprinted; hence, many readers saw it. QI conjectures that the 1884 statement was rephrased to yield the popular modern misquotation.

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Quote Origin: I Regard the Theater as the Greatest of All Art Forms

Oscar Wilde? Thornton Wilder? Frank Capra? Apocryphal?

Theater masks depicting Comedy and Tragedy from Pixabay

Question for Quote Investigator: A prominent playwright once said: I regard the theater as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being.

This statement has been attributed to Thornton Wilder who wrote the plays “Our Town” and “The Skin of Our Teeth”. It has also been credited to Oscar Wilde who wrote the plays “The Importance of Being Earnest” and “Lady Windermere’s Fan”. Would you please explore this topic and find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1957 “The Paris Review” published an interview with Thornton Wilder during which he said the following. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

I regard the theater as the greatest of all art-forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being. This supremacy of the theater derives from the fact that it is always “now” on the stage. It is enough that generations have been riveted by the sight of Clytemnestra luring Agamemnon to the fatal bath, and Oedipus searching out the truth which will ruin him.

QI has found no substantive evidence that Oscar Wilde employed this expression. He died in 1900, and he received credit by 2006.

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Quote Origin: I Had Exactly Four Seconds To Hot Up the Disintegrator, and Google Had Told Me It Wasn’t Enough

Raymond Chandler? Barry N. Malzberg? Vlad
Savov? Apocryphal?

A science fictional device of unknown purpose

Question for Quote Investigator: Apparently, sometime during the 1950s a popular writer of detective fiction crafted a short passage parodying science fiction. Within the passage the word “Google” appeared long before the company Google existed. The passage displayed remarkable prescience. The word “Google” referred to an entity that provided information. Would you please explore this topic and provide a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The writer Raymond Chandler is best known as the creator of the hardboiled detective character Philip Marlowe. In 1953 Chandler sent a letter to a friend which included a jargon-filled passage parodying science fiction writing. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

Did you ever read what they call Science Fiction. It’s a scream. It is written like this: “I checked out with K 19 on Aldabaran III, and stepped out through the crummalite hatch on my 22 Model Sirus Hardtop. I cocked the timejector in secondary and waded through the bright blue manda grass. My breath froze into pink pretzels.”

The final sentence of Chandler’s passage included the word “Google”:2

“The sudden brightness swung me around and the Fourth Moon had already risen. I had exactly four seconds to hot up the disintegrator and Google had told me it wasn’t enough. He was right.”

They pay brisk money for this crap?

Chandler used the pronoun “he” when referring back to “Google”; hence, the character “Google” may have been a male human, a male alien, or a personified computing device.

Chandler played cricket when he was young, and he may have been influenced by the term “google” which is applied to balls which break or swerve. Alternatively, Chandler may have been influenced by the comic strip character Barney Google or by the term “Googol” which refers to the enormous number 10100 which can be written as 1 followed by one hundred zeroes.

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Quote Origin: It’s Hard To Tell What Brings Happiness. Poverty and Wealth Have Both Failed

Kin Hubbard? Abe Martin? Beatrice Kaufman? Anonymous?

Picture of gold bars from Unsplash

Question for Quote Investigator: Poverty can cause unhappiness and despair. Yet, there is no easy solution to this human predicament because wealth does not guarantee joy and happiness. A popular humorist once stated:

It’s hard to tell what brings happiness. Poverty and wealth have both failed.

A remark of this type has been attributed to Kin Hubbard. Would you please help me to find the correct phrasing and a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The full name of Kin Hubbard was Frank McKinney Hubbard. For more than three decades Hubbard published a widely syndicated one-panel comic strip featuring an everyman character named Abe Martin. In 1930 Hubbard published a panel containing the following line. The word “purty” was an informal version of “pretty”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

It’s purty hard to tell what does bring happiness. Poverty an’ wealth have both failed.

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Quote Origin: I Used To Be Indecisive, But Now I’m Not So Sure

Boscoe Pertwee? Umberto Eco? Christopher Hampton? Nigel Rees? Mario Cuomo? Apocryphal?

Road sign symbolizing indecision from Pixabay

Question for Quote Investigator: Making definitive choices is arduous. A humorous expression reflects this predicament:

I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

This quip has been attributed to Boscoe Pertwee who reportedly was an eighteenth-century wit, but I cannot find any evidence that Pertwee actually existed. Also, the earliest matches I can find occurred in the twentieth century. Thus, I have become skeptical. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The skepticism is justified. The false attribution to Boscoe Pertwee was constructed as a prank as explained further below.

The earliest approximate match known to QI occurred in the 1970 London play “The Philanthropist” by British playwright and screenwriter Christopher Hampton. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

PHILIP. (Bewildered.) I’m sorry. (Pause.) I suppose I am indecisive. (Pause.) My trouble is, I’m a man of no convictions. (Longish pause.) At least, I think I am. (Celia starts laughing.) What’s the joke?
CELIA. I am fond of you.

In 1971 a reviewer from “The Wall Street Journal” saw the New York production of “The Philanthropist”. The comical line uttered by the character Philip caught the reviewer’s attention, and it was reprinted in the newspaper:2

Incapable of any sort of firmness, he never declares himself on any subject or even on any person: “I suppose I am indecisive.  My trouble is, I’m a man of no convictions. At least, I think I am.”

In 1976 the earliest exact match found by QI appeared in the “Manchester Evening News” of England within a column called “Mr Manchester’s Diary”. The creator of the line was anonymous:3

OVERHEARD at the hair salon: “I used to be indecisive but now I’m not so sure.”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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