What Are You Doing Here? Why the Devil Aren’t You Home Writing?

Sinclair Lewis? Bennett Cerf? Storm Jameson? Leon Uris? Abraham Cady? Truman Capote? James Michener? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Classes which attempt to teach writing have proliferated in recent decades. Yet, an undercurrent of skepticism regarding the value of this pedagogical endeavor persists.

According to a sardonic anecdote a successful author was once badgered into conducting a guest lecture at a prestigious university. The classroom was packed, and the author was given a lengthy and glowing introduction by the beaming professor who coordinated the class.

The author began by asking the audience members whether they genuinely wanted to become writers. Every student in the room raised a hand signaling enthusiastic commitment. The intensity of emotion caused the writer to step back, pause, and lay down a set of notes. “In that case,” the exasperated speaker said, “why are you wasting your time here? Go home and write!” The author then walked away from the podium.

Would you please explore the provenance of this tale? Who was the author, and what was the name of the university?

Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in “The Daily Oklahoman” of Oklahoma City in July 1945. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1945 July 1, The Daily Oklahoman, If You Want to Try And Write, Go Ahead, Quote Page 11C, Column 8, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. (Newspapers_com)

Shortly before Sinclair Lewis went home to his native Minnesota where he believes he can do his best work, he addressed a class of would-be novelists at the Columbia School of Journalism. He began with “I understand you all want to be writers. Well, what are you doing here? Why the devil aren’t you home writing?”

U.S. novelist and playwright Sinclair Lewis received the Nobel Prize in Literature for 1930. He is the leading candidate for deliverer of this truncated lecture although QI has not yet found any evidence that Lewis told the anecdote himself.

This tale appeared in a variety of newspapers during the ensuing months and years. In August 1945 “The Evening Republican” of Columbus, Indiana pointed to publisher Bennett Cerf as a crucial popularizer of the story:[2] 1945 August 1, The Evening Republican, No News Is Good News, Quote Page 4, Column 2, Columbus, Indiana. (Newspapers_com)

Shortly before Sinclair Lewis left for his native Minnesota, he addressed a class of would-be novelists at the Columbia School of Journalism, reports Bennett Cerf of Random House___Lewis glanced over the eager assemblage with an appraising eye____and began his address, “I understand you all want to be writers___Well, what are you doing here?___Why the devil aren’t you home writing?”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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References

References
↑1 1945 July 1, The Daily Oklahoman, If You Want to Try And Write, Go Ahead, Quote Page 11C, Column 8, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. (Newspapers_com)
↑2 1945 August 1, The Evening Republican, No News Is Good News, Quote Page 4, Column 2, Columbus, Indiana. (Newspapers_com)

This Is the Only Place Where I Can Avoid Seeing the Damned Thing

Speaker: William Morris? Guy de Maupassant? Alexander Hadden? Elliot Paul? Gillian Widdicombe? Adlai Stevenson? Anonymous?

Landmark: Eiffel Tower? National Theatre in London? Palace of Culture in Warsaw? Empire State Building?

Dear Quote Investigator: Cultural critics have lamented that some massive structures dominating city skylines are unsightly, e.g., the Eiffel Tower, the National Theatre in London, and the Palace of Culture in Warsaw.

A popular anecdote states that a well-known literary figure frequently visited one of these ugly monuments. An acquaintance who found the luminary gazing out across the metropolis from the observation deck of the landmark inquired about motivation:

“As a regular visitor to this site, do you find this structure beautiful?”
“Of course not! This is the only place in the city where I can look out and avoid seeing this hideous thing.”

Would you please explore this acerbic tale?

Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in a 1914 report from the Manchester Literary Club of England. The brief note described a meeting of the club during which a member named Alexander Hadden presented a paper about the city of Paris. The following passage about prominent writer and activist William Morris included a punchline that was spoiled by a typo. The word “can” was supposed to be “can’t”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1]1914, Report and Proceedings of the Manchester Literary Club for the Session 1913-14 with Rules and List of Members, Article Date: January 12, 1914, Comment on article titled: Paris by Alex. Hadden, … Continue reading

Incidentally it was mentioned that William Morris was a frequent visitor to Paris, and when there his friends noticed that he spent a considerable part of his time high upon the Eiffel Tower. When asked the reason for this he replied, “That is the only place where you can see the damned thing.”

Morris died in 1896, so the citation above provides imperfect evidence. Nevertheless, Morris is the leading candidate for crafter of this quip. This anecdote has been difficult to trace because of its multiplicity of embodiments.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “This Is the Only Place Where I Can Avoid Seeing the Damned Thing”

References

References
↑1 1914, Report and Proceedings of the Manchester Literary Club for the Session 1913-14 with Rules and List of Members, Article Date: January 12, 1914, Comment on article titled: Paris by Alex. Hadden, Quote Page 434, Sherratt and Hughes, Manchester, England. (HathiTrust) link

No Explanation Is Needed for a Believer; No Explanation Suffices for an Unbeliever

Franz Werfel? John LaFarge? George Seaton? Irving Wallace? Charles Brent? James G. Stahlman? Dwain Hobbs? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Events deemed miraculous have always been controversial. Believers readily accept a supernatural explanation, but skeptics are unwilling to endorse this viewpoint. Religious pilgrimage sites such as the Sanctuary of Our Lady of Lourdes in France boast many seemingly miraculous cures, but detractors resist unconventional explications. A two part statement depicts these clashing perspectives. Here are four versions:

No explanation is needed for a believer;
no explanation suffices for an unbeliever.

To a non-believer, no explanation is possible.
For a believer, no explanation is necessary.

To those who believe no explanation is necessary;
to those who do not believe no explanation will satisfy.

For those who believe in God no explanation is necessary.
For those who do not believe in God no explanation is possible.

A message of this type appears at the beginning of the popular award-winning 1943 film “The Song of Bernadette”. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in the “St. Louis Post-Dispatch” of Missouri in December 1882. This concise instance occurred within an editorial discussing the credibility of the biblical tale of the prophet Jonah who was engulfed by a giant aquatic creature and survived. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1882 December 22, St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Jonah and the Whale, Quote Page 4, Column 2, St. Louis, Missouri. (Newspapers_com)

The story of Jonah and the Whale is of course one of the first biblical difficulties which skeptics and unbelievers take hold of, and the temptation to gain this easy vantage-ground has been strengthened by the attempt on the part of Bishop Ryan to reconcile the miracle with natural law and by the assumption that the great sea monster which swallowed the prophet was a special creation or an animal otherwise unknown to science.

There is no necessity of resorting to such explanations. No single miracle can be explained, and there is no use in trying. No explanation is needed for a believer; no explanation suffices for an unbeliever. There are people who honestly refuse to believe in any miracle, either of Christ or of the prophets before Him or of the saints since His day.

No author was specified for the passage above; hence, it should be considered anonymous. Attempting to trace this saying has been very difficult because it can be expressed in many ways.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “No Explanation Is Needed for a Believer; No Explanation Suffices for an Unbeliever”

References

References
↑1 1882 December 22, St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Jonah and the Whale, Quote Page 4, Column 2, St. Louis, Missouri. (Newspapers_com)

I Often Quote Myself. It Adds Spice To My Conversation

George Bernard Shaw? Brendan Behan? Reba Lombard? Arthur Caesar? George Jean Nathan? Erskine Johnson? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: A remarkably large number of utterances from the prominent Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw appear in quotation collections. Apparently, he once humorously commented on his quoteworthiness. Here are three versions:

  • I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.
  • I like to quote from myself; it adds spice to the conversation
  • I always quote myself. It adds spice to the conversation.

Did Shaw really make one of these remarks? Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: The earliest match known to QI appeared in the June 1943 issue of “Reader’s Digest” magazine within a section called “Patter” which printed miscellaneous quotations. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1943 June, Reader’s Digest, Volume 42, Patter, Quote Page 18, Column 2, The Reader’s Digest Association, Pleasantville, New York. (Verified with hardcopy)

Bernard Shaw once remarked: “I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.”

QI has not found this quotation in the writings or interviews of Shaw. The items in “Patter” were contributed by readers who received compensation, and some items were of doubtful accuracy. Shaw died in 1950; hence, this quotation was circulating for several years while he was alive which increases its credibility. Nevertheless, QI does not know whether this quotation is authentic.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “I Often Quote Myself. It Adds Spice To My Conversation”

References

References
↑1 1943 June, Reader’s Digest, Volume 42, Patter, Quote Page 18, Column 2, The Reader’s Digest Association, Pleasantville, New York. (Verified with hardcopy)

Some of the Biggest Failures I Ever Had Were Successes

Pearl Bailey? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Everyone experiences failures in life. Yet, each setback can be transformed into an energizing event and an episode of learning. Even the largest failures can be changed into successes. The prominent U.S. actress and singer Pearl Bailey said something like this. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Quote Investigator: In 1971 Pearl Bailey published the memoir “Talking To Myself” which included the following passage:[1] 1973 (1971 Copyright), Talking To Myself by Pearl Bailey, Chapter: The measure of its contents, Quote Page 176, Pocket Books: A Division of Simon & Schuster, New York. (Verified with scans)

Some of the biggest failures I ever had were successes. A man has to try in order to grow, and try again. The point is that it’s the trying that does it, and not necessarily achieving what he is attempting to do.

For every failure, one grows a bit. Failure inspires some people to go on, at least that’s the way it affects the greats of show business as I’ve observed them.

This remark combines two contradictory words: “failures” and “successes”. The resulting figure of speech is called an oxymoron, and it seems inconsistent from a narrow overly literal viewpoint; however, a wider perspective reveals its insightfulness.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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References

References
↑1 1973 (1971 Copyright), Talking To Myself by Pearl Bailey, Chapter: The measure of its contents, Quote Page 176, Pocket Books: A Division of Simon & Schuster, New York. (Verified with scans)

Every King Springs From a Race of Slaves, and Every Slave Has Had Kings Among His Ancestors

Helen Keller? Socrates? Plato? Seneca the Younger? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: A person has two genetic parents, four grandparents, and eight great-grandparents. The number of ancestors in a generation roughly doubles when going backwards in time, and this exponential growth implies that each individual has an enormous number of ancestors. This line of reasoning suggests two remarkable insights about human lineages and fluctuating social power:

  • Every king has ancestors who were slaves.
  • Every slave has ancestors who were kings.

This dual notion has been credited to three famous ancient sages: Socrates, Plato, and Seneca the Younger. It has also been attributed to the deaf-blind social activist Helen Keller. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: Plato presented a dialogue between Socrates and Theaetetus on the nature of knowledge. Socrates discussed the pride some feel about having an illustrious ancestry, and he indicated that a person with a philosophical temperament would be skeptical about this undeserved self-approval. The following excerpt is from a translation by Harold N. Fowler. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1921, Plato, English Translation by Harold N. Fowler (Western Reserve University), Volume 2, Section: Theaetetus, Quote Page 123 to 125, William Heinemann, London. (Google Books Full View) link

And when people sing the praises of lineage and say someone is of noble birth, because he can show seven wealthy ancestors, he thinks that such praises betray an altogether dull and narrow vision on the part of those who utter them; because of lack of education they cannot keep their eyes fixed upon the whole and are unable to calculate that every man has had countless thousands of ancestors and progenitors, among whom have been in any instance rich and poor, kings and slaves, barbarians and Greeks.

The phrasing above differed from the two target quotations. Yet, this passage from Plato’s instantiation of Socrates did logically imply that each king had some slave as an ancestor, and each slave had some king as an ancestor.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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References

References
↑1 1921, Plato, English Translation by Harold N. Fowler (Western Reserve University), Volume 2, Section: Theaetetus, Quote Page 123 to 125, William Heinemann, London. (Google Books Full View) link

A Notable Family Named Stein With Gertrude, Ep, and Ein

A. H. Reginald Buller? Resident of Brighton? E. V. Lucas? Carolyn Wells? Walter Winchell? Robert Conquest? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: There is a comical limerick about a “family” named Stein. The three referents were prominent writer Gertrude Stein, influential sculpture Jacob Epstein, and famous scientist Albert Einstein. Wordplay was used to split “Stein” from “Gertrude”, “Ep”, and “Ein”. Would you please explore the provenance of this poem?

Quote Investigator: The earliest match for the limerick located by QI appeared in March 1931, and that citation is given further below.

An interesting precursor occurred in the London humor magazine “Punch” in September 1929. The poem was titled “Precious Steins”, and it employed the same splitting wordplay. These were the first three verses:[1] 1929 September 11, Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 177, Precious Steins, Quote Page 282, Column 3, Published at the Office of Punch, London. (Verified with scans)

What with Gertrude, Ep and Ein,
When I hear the name of Stein,
I go creepy down the spine.

Ein has caught the ether bending,
Gert has sentences unending,
Ep is really most art-rending.

Ein’s made straight lines parabolic,
Eppie’s “Night” is alcoholic,
Gertie’s grammar has the colic.

The final fifth verse suggested that life and art were out of step, and the poem’s creator was down-hearted. No attribution was specified for the poem. Thus, it was either written by a staff member of “Punch”, or it was sent to the magazine by a reader who was compensated.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “A Notable Family Named Stein With Gertrude, Ep, and Ein”

References

References
↑1 1929 September 11, Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 177, Precious Steins, Quote Page 282, Column 3, Published at the Office of Punch, London. (Verified with scans)

Fear of Something Is at the Root of Hate for Others, and Hate Within Will Ultimately Destroy the Hater

George Washington Carver? Alvin D. Smith? Martin Luther King Jr.? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Prominent scientist and educator George Washington Carver believed that fear lay at the root of hatred, and hatred would eventually lead to the destruction of the hater. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Quote Investigator: Alvin D. Smith attended the Bible Classes conducted by George Washington Carver during the years 1915 to 1919. Smith often took notes, and many years later in 1954 he published “George Washington Carver: Man of God” which included material based on Carver’s lectures Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1954, George Washington Carver: Man of God by Alvin D. Smith, Chapter: Race Hate—David and Goliath, Quote Page 43, Exposition Press, New York. (HathiTrust Full View) link

Right off, he began talking about David and Goliath. He said, “As we tune in with our Creator and study our Bible, we get the answer to any problem.

“Fear of something is at the root of hate for others and hate within will ultimately destroy the hater. Keep your thoughts free from hate, and you need have no fear from those who hate you,” said he.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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References

References
↑1 1954, George Washington Carver: Man of God by Alvin D. Smith, Chapter: Race Hate—David and Goliath, Quote Page 43, Exposition Press, New York. (HathiTrust Full View) link

Hate Ultimately Destroys the Hater

Henry Norman? A. P. Buchman? George Washington Carver? Alvin D. Smith? Louis N. Whealton? Frederick C. Walcott? Peter Witt? Martin Luther King Jr.? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Loathing and hostility are intense emotions which are difficult to control. Here is an applicable adage:

Hatred destroys the hater.

Would you please explore the provenance of this saying?

Quote Investigator: The 2018 issue of “Proverbium: Yearbook of International Proverb Scholarship” includes a supplementary article for the important reference work titled “The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs”. Three variants of this important saying were listed:[1]2018, Proverbium: Yearbook of International Proverb Scholarship, Volume 35, The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs: Second Supplement by Charles Clay Doyle and Wolfgang Mieder, Start Page 15, Quote Page … Continue reading

Hate (Hating, Hatred) destroys the hater.

Tracing this adage is difficult because it can be expressed in many different ways, and its concision evolved over time. A lengthy version appeared in the 1897 book “Real” by Henry Norman, Bold face added to excerpts by QI:[2] 1897, Real by Henry Norman, Quote Page 21 and 22, Jno. F. McCarty & Company, Printers, Lynn, Massachusetts. (Google Books Full View) link

Revenge can gratify for a short time only, but it never can satisfy for revenge is an agent of hatred, and the nature of hatred is to first destroy the hated one and then destroy the hater.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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References

References
↑1 2018, Proverbium: Yearbook of International Proverb Scholarship, Volume 35, The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs: Second Supplement by Charles Clay Doyle and Wolfgang Mieder, Start Page 15, Quote Page 25, Published by The University of Vermont, Burlington, Vermont. (Verified on paper)
↑2 1897, Real by Henry Norman, Quote Page 21 and 22, Jno. F. McCarty & Company, Printers, Lynn, Massachusetts. (Google Books Full View) link

Love, Anger, Sorrow, and a Cough Cannot Be Hid

Dorothy L. Sayers? George Eliot? Thomas Fuller? George Herbert? George Latimer Apperson? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: The ongoing pandemic reminded me of an eccentric proverb I once heard:

Love and a cough cannot be hidden.

The prominent mystery wrote Dorothy L. Sayers once referred to a statement like this. Would you please explore the history of this remark?

Quote Investigator: These types of adages have been circulating for several hundred years. Each variant lists a set of conditions or emotions which are difficult to conceal because they are expressed spontaneously or uncontrollably.

George Latimer Apperson’s important reference “English Proverbs and Proverbial Phrases” contains an entry that that begins with a citation circa 1300:[1]1929, English Proverbs and Proverbial Phrases: A Historical Dictionary by G. L. Apperson (George Latimer Apperson), Topic: Love, Quote Page 384, Column 1, J. M. Dent and Sons Limited, London, … Continue reading

Love and a cough cannot be hid.
c. 1300: Cursor Mundi, l. 4276

In 1590 a pertinent adage appeared in the book titled “The Royal Exchange Contayning sundry aphorismes of phylosophie, and golden principles of morrall and naturall quadruplicities”. This title reveals that spelling was not standardized in 1590. Here are standard spellings for three words that occur in the passage below: foure, four; hydden, hidden; loue, love. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[2]1590, Title: The Royal Exchange Contayning sundry aphorismes of phylosophie, and golden principles of morrall and naturall quadruplicities, Author: Oraziofin Rinaldi, Publisher: Offered to the cittie … Continue reading

There are foure things cannot be hydden.

1. The cough.
2. Loue.
3. Anger.
4. And sorrow.

These affectons are addicted to much impatience, and maketh a man so passionate, as they are almost impossible to be concealed.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Love, Anger, Sorrow, and a Cough Cannot Be Hid”

References

References
↑1 1929, English Proverbs and Proverbial Phrases: A Historical Dictionary by G. L. Apperson (George Latimer Apperson), Topic: Love, Quote Page 384, Column 1, J. M. Dent and Sons Limited, London, Facsimile republished in 1969 by Gale Research Company, Detroit, Michigan. (Verified with hardcopy of 1969 edition)
↑2 1590, Title: The Royal Exchange Contayning sundry aphorismes of phylosophie, and golden principles of morrall and naturall quadruplicities, Author: Oraziofin Rinaldi, Publisher: Offered to the cittie of London. Rob. Greene, in Artibus Magister, Printer: Printed by I. Charlewood for William VVright At London. (Early English Books Online EEBO) link