Tag Archives: George Burns

Before You Leave the House, Look in the Mirror and Remove One Piece of Jewelry

Coco Chanel? Gracie Allen? Joan Rivers? The McGuire Sisters? Polly Bergen? Nancy Abraham? Maggie Daly? Helen Hennessy? John Robert Powers? Beatrice Molinsky? George Burns? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: Fashion sense is always subjective, but many agree that wearing too much jewelry looks gaudy and ostentatious. The style maven Coco Chanel supposedly gave the following …

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No Snowflake in an Avalanche Ever Feels Responsible

Voltaire? George Burns? Paul Harvey? Stanisław Jerzy Lec? Percy Bysshe Shelley? Etaislaw Lee? Stanisław Leszczyński? Stanisław Lem? Jacek Galazka? Dear Quote Investigator: A mob or a mass movement can cause enormous destruction. Also, the inaction of a large apathetic group in a perilous time can lead to ruination. Yet, individuals disavow liability. Here are three …

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In the Beginning, There Was Nothing. The Lord Said, ‘Let There Be Light.’ Then There Was Still Nothing, But You Could See It Much Better

Ellen DeGeneres? Woody Allen? Joe Doyle? The Flying Karamazov Brothers? George Burns? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: There is a joke based on the biblical creation story that contains the famous line “Let there be light”. The punch line of the gag is: There was still nothing. But you could see it a whole lot better. …

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If At First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try Again. Then Quit. There’s No Use Being a Damn Fool About It

W. C. Fields? Stephen Leacock? Justin J. Burns? Henry Morgan? George Burns? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: A well-known saying about persistence has become an energyless cliché: If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. The following parody version is usually attributed to the famous comedian W. C. Fields: If at first you don’t succeed, …

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The Main Thing Is Honesty. If You Can Fake That, You’ve Got It Made

Groucho Marx? George Burns? Jean Giraudoux? Celeste Holm? Ed Nelson? Samuel Goldwyn? Daniel Schorr? Joe Franklin? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The funniest advice I was ever given as a sales associate was from another seasoned employee: The most important thing is honesty. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made. Later, I read or …

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“It’s too caustic.” “To hell with the cost.”

Who Said It? Samuel Goldwyn? Robert Benchley? Gracie Allen? Alva Johnston? Anonymous? Who or What Was Caustic? The Little Foxes? Jim Tully? An Unnamed Actor? Mr. Rosenblatt? An Unnamed Script? An Unnamed Writer? Sidney Howard? Moss Hart? Dear Quote Investigator: An entertaining legend about the powerful movie mogul Samuel Goldwyn has been amusing people for …

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