Tracing Quotations
Mark Twain? Albert Bigelow Paine? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: There are a set of statements attributed to the famous humorist Mark Twain about allowable behaviors in heaven: If I cannot swear in heaven I shall not stay there. If I cannot drink bourbon in heaven, then I shall not go. If I can’t smoke cigars …
Continue reading “If I Cannot Swear in Heaven I Shall Not Stay There”
Mark Twain? Madame de Sévigné? Madame Roland? Alphonse de Lamartine? Alphonse Toussenel? Louise de la Rameé? Alfred D’Orsay? Thomas Carlyle? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: A popular expression combines disappointment with humanity together with praise for canines. Here are four versions: The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. The more I learn …
Continue reading “The More I Know About People, the Better I Like Dogs”
Mark Twain? Frank Nelson Doubleday? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: Mark Twain apparently held a very low opinion of book publishers. He suggested that publishers could be created via a multigenerational combination of individuals from lunatic asylums. Could you please help me find a citation for this sentiment? Quote Investigator: In 1897 Frank Nelson Doubleday and …
Continue reading “Recipe To Create a Publisher: Take an Idiot Man from a Lunatic Asylum . . .”
Mark Twain? Hugh Elmer Brown? Joseph Fort Newton? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The following quotation is often attributed to Mark Twain, but I do not know whether it is accurate: It ain’t the parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. Would you please …
Mark Twain? Robert Heinlein? Paul Dickson? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Teaching a pig to sing is a futile task that aggravates the porcine student according to a popular saying. Luminary Mark Twain and science fiction author Robert Heinlein have received credit for this adage. Would you please determine the accurate ascription and the original context? …
Continue reading “Never Attempt To Teach a Pig To Sing; It Wastes Your Time and Annoys the Pig”
George Bernard Shaw? Mark Twain? Abraham Lincoln? Cyrus Stuart Ching? J. Frank Condon? Richard P. Calhoon? N. H. Eagle? Cale Yarborough? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: A popular metaphorical adage warns individuals not to engage with disreputable critics. Here are two versions: Don’t wrestle with pigs. You both get filthy and the pig likes it. Never …
Continue reading “Never Wrestle with a Pig. You Both Get Dirty and the Pig Likes It”
Mark Twain? Andrew Carnegie? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Proverbial wisdom tells us never to put all our eggs in one basket, but an inversion of that advice has been ascribed to the renowned humorist Mark Twain and the business titan Andrew Carnegie. Who should receive credit? Quote Investigator: On June 23, 1885 Andrew Carnegie addressed …
Continue reading “Put All Your Eggs in One Basket, and Then Watch That Basket”
Prophet: Harriet Martineau? William Tweed? John Tyndall? Auguste Comte? Robert G. Ingersoll? Karl Marx? Charles Darwin? Herbert Spencer? Henry George Atkinson? Paul Dirac? Felix Adler? Critic: Mark Twain? Douglas William Jerrold? George Grote? J. P. Jacobsen? Isaac M. Wise? Wolfgang Pauli? Dear Quote Investigator: The prominent physicist Paul Dirac was hostile toward religion, and sometimes …
Continue reading “There Is No God, and Harriet Martineau Is His Prophet”
Mark Twain? Merle Johnson? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: I would like to use the following adage during a presentation to a large group: It is wiser to find out than to suppose. I plan to credit Mark Twain, but I know that if I am wrong it will be very embarrassing because the entire point …
Mark Twain? Abbie Hoffman? Roy F. Nichols? George McKinnon? Aardvark Magazine? Graffito? Dear Quote Investigator: The following has often been ascribed to the famous humorist Mark Twain and the 1960s-era political activist Abbie Hoffman: Sacred cows make the tastiest hamburger. Apologies for offensiveness. Would you please explore the provenance of this expression? Quote Investigator: QI …