There Are Things Known, and Things Unknown, and In Between Are the Doors

Jim Morrison? Ray Manzarek? Aldous Huxley? William Blake? Dear Quote Investigator: One of the best rock groups in history is The Doors, and its legendary front man Jim Morrison was one of the greatest rock stars ever. That is my opinion. But I am sending you this message because I want your opinion concerning a …

Figures Don’t Lie, But Liars Do Figure

Carroll D. Wright? Mark Twain? Charles H. Grosvenor? James G. Blaine? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: I hope you will be able to settle a disagreement between friends concerning the following quotation: Figures don’t lie, but liars figure. My friend believes that this saying originated with Samuel Clemens otherwise known as Mark Twain. I think it …

Writing About Music is Like Dancing About Architecture

Laurie Anderson? Steve Martin? Frank Zappa? Martin Mull? Elvis Costello? Thelonius Monk? Dear Quote Investigator: I have a difficult riddle for you. A mailing list I belong to has discussed the following quotation several times during the past ten years, and the question of its origin has never been satisfactorily resolved. Writing about music is …

If You Want Anything Said Ask a Man, Want Anything Done Ask a Woman

Margaret Thatcher? Fictional? Dear Quote Investigator: I have been trying to learn about a sentence supposedly said by Margaret Thatcher who was the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom during the 1980s. The version I was told is: If you want a speech made you should ask a man, but if you want something done …

“How Old Cary Grant?” “Old Cary Grant Fine, How You?”

Cary Grant? Gar Wood? Mark Clark? Tom Ferris? Dear Quote Investigator: I love the movies from the golden age of Hollywood. I think the stars were more glamorous in the past, and the stories about the stars were wittier. The quotation I would like you to investigate was reportedly written by Cary Grant for a …

She Speaks Eighteen Languages, and Can’t Say “No” in Any of Them

Who Said the Quote? Dorothy Parker? Richard Henry Little? Alexander Woollcott? Who was the Polyglot? Winifred Stackville Stoner? Merle Oberon? Dear Quote Investigator: My question differs from most. Here is a quotation of admiration with a stinger that I would like you to investigate: That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say “No” in any …

Dying is Easy. Comedy is Hard

Peter O’Toole? Edmund Kean? Edmund Gwenn? Donald Crisp? George Seaton? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: One of my friends is an aspiring comedian, and he enjoys telling an anecdote about a gifted character actor who delivered a famously incisive line about playing comic roles while lying on his deathbed. A visitor approached the actor who was …

I Take the Punch Bowl Away Just When the Party is Getting Good

Arthur F. Burns? William McChesney Martin? G. William Miller? Paul A. Volcker? Dear Quote Investigator: The U.S. economy has experienced two large bubbles in recent years in technology stocks and in real estate. These gyrations in the market reminded me of an old comment from a previous director of the Federal Reserve. He said his …

I Do Not Want to Predict the Future. I Want to Prevent It

Frank Herbert? Ray Bradbury? Theodore Sturgeon? Fred Pohl? Dear Quote Investigator: I once read an interview with a science fiction writer in which he was asked about predicting the future. The interviewer was disappointed that some of the technological developments heralded in science fiction never seemed to actually happen. The response from the author was …