Dorothy Parker? James Webb Young? Owen H. Hott? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: A friend and I recently wondered about the origin of the following poem. We did not have much luck tracking it: See the happy moron, He doesn’t give a damn, I wish I were a moron, My God! perhaps I am! There is …
Monthly Archives: April 2011
She Was a Sinking Vessel with No Freight to Throw Overboard
Mark Twain? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: I have heard the following quote attributed to Mark Twain: A man who doesn’t smoke is like a sinking ship with no rats to desert it. True of false? Quote Investigator: QI was unable to locate a close match for that quotation in the works of Mark Twain; however, …
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French Have Taken Umbrage. English Have Taken Cognizance.
Who was fighting? Russians? French? Zulus? English? Prussians? Boers? Dear Quote Investigator: When I worked on a student newspaper in college I was told a story about a late night editor at a major newspaper who received a terse wire report saying the “Russians Have Taken Umbrage”. The editor did not know the meaning of …
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Venice: Streets Full of Water. Advise.
Robert Benchley? Mattie Barwick? David Niven? Dear Quote Investigator: You might enjoy looking into this confusing question. I have been searching newspaper databases for a project involving the Venice canals. The following humorous note appeared in a newspaper called the Miami News on October 30, 1958 [MNGB]: Word comes from European traveler, Mattie (Mrs. George) …
I Don’t Want to Belong to Any Club That Will Accept Me as a Member
Friars Club? Delaney Club? Beverly Hills Tennis Club? Hillcrest Country Club? Dear Quote Investigator: There is a wonderful story about Groucho Marx and an elite private club. I have heard so many variants of this tale that I was hoping you would investigate. In one version Groucho resigns from a club, and in another version …
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Taxes: This is a Question Too Difficult for a Mathematician
Albert Einstein? Associated Press? Time magazine? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: You recently discussed one quotation by Albert Einstein about taxes, but my question is about another remark attributed to the genius. The Canadian newspaper “Globe and Mail” published the following earlier this year [GME]: Albert Einstein said of his tax return, “This is too difficult …
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“It’s too caustic.” “To hell with the cost.”
Who Said It? Samuel Goldwyn? Robert Benchley? Gracie Allen? Alva Johnston? Anonymous? Who or What Was Caustic? The Little Foxes? Jim Tully? An Unnamed Actor? Mr. Rosenblatt? An Unnamed Script? An Unnamed Writer? Sidney Howard? Moss Hart? Dear Quote Investigator: An entertaining legend about the powerful movie mogul Samuel Goldwyn has been amusing people for …
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You Cannot Persuade Her with Gun or Lariat, To Come Across for the Proletariat
Dorothy Parker? W. Somerset Maugham? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Dorothy Parker was at a party where guests were challenging one another to complete poems based on a few starting lines, or so the story goes. Parker was given the following two lines: Higgledy Piggledy, my white hen; She lays eggs for gentlemen. After a moment …
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A Banker Lends You His Umbrella When It’s Sunny and Wants It Back When It Rains
Mark Twain? Robert Frost? Ambrose Bierce? Ben Bernanke? Philippe Girardet? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: It is remarkably difficult to obtain a loan in a difficult economic climate. This notion can be expressed with the following adage: A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back …
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The Urge to Save Humanity is Almost Always Only a False-Face for the Urge to Rule It
H.L. Mencken? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The following saying is credited to H.L. Mencken on several websites, and I found it in some quotation dictionaries. But I cannot find it directly in any works written by Mencken. Could you tell me if the attribution is correct? The urge to save humanity is almost always a …