This Diary Is My Kief, Hashish, and Opium Pipe. This Is My Drug and My Vice

Anaïs Nin? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The acclaimed modern diarist Anaïs Nin apparently experienced an addictive intensity when writing in her diary. The following words have been attributed to her: This diary is my kief, hashish, and opium pipe. Is this an authentic quotation, or is it simply a hallucination? Quote Investigator: The publication of …

Cloquet Hated Reality But Realized It Was Still the Only Place to Get a Good Steak

Woody Allen? Groucho Marx? Cloquet? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The comedian and movie director Woody Allen sometimes constructs ontological jokes. For example, the following is attributed to Allen: I hate reality, but it is still the only place where I can get a decent steak. Oddly, the following very similar quip has been credited to …

It Rolls Off My Back Like a Duck

Samuel Goldwyn? George Oppenheimer? Ellenor Stoothoff? Andrew Carnegie? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The phrase “like water off a duck’s back” is a well-known idiom that refers to an incident or a comment having little or no effect on a person.[ref] Oxford Dictionary of English Idioms, Third Edition, Edited by John Ayto, Oxford Reference Online, Entry: …

Intelligence without Ambition Is a Bird without Wings

Salvador Dali? Walter H. Cottingham? Laura E. Riding? C. Archie Danielson? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Some individuals have impressive natural gifts and aptitudes but do not have strong desires or motivations. Their worthwhile potential achievements often remain unrealized. The following adage embodies this notion: Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. These words have …

Gentlemen, You Have Come Sixty Days Too Late. The Depression Is Over

Herbert Hoover? John A. Ryan? Arthur M. Schlesinger Jr.? Apocryphal Quote Investigator: The great depression which began in 1929 was one of the most serious economic calamities of the twentieth century. In the U.S. a high unemployment rate persisted for more than a decade. Herbert Hoover was the U.S. President when the crisis began, and …

War Does Not Determine Who Is Right — Only Who Is Left

Bertrand Russell? Frank P. Hobgood? Jessie Woodrow Wilson Sayre? Reader’s Digest? Montreal Star? Andrew Carnegie? Winston Churchill? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: A piquant slogan has been used by pacifists and peace activists for decades. Here are two variants: War does not determine who is right — only who is left. The atom bomb will never …

The Customer Is Always Right

Marshall Field? Harry Gordon Selfridge? John Wanamaker? César Ritz? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: There is a famous customer service slogan that has been highlighted by several business people. Here are two versions: The customer is always right. The customer is never wrong. Do you know who created this motto? Quote Investigator: The earliest close match …

Our Comedies Are Not To Be Laughed At

Samuel Goldwyn? William Cox? Cumberland’s Comedies? Mack Sennett? Johnny Grey? Christie Comedies? Abe Stern? Carl Laemmle? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: A Hollywood movie producer had achieved great fame with opulent historical dramas. His company also released financially lucrative comedies which were embraced by audiences but lambasted by critics. While attending a lavish party the producer …

Not Everyone Will Understand Your Journey. That’s Fine. It’s Not Their Journey To Make Sense Of. It’s Yours

Zero Dean? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: On Facebook I saw a potent statement about purpose and individuality: Not everyone will understand your journey. That’s fine. It’s not their journey to make sense of. It’s yours. These words were superimposed on a beautiful picture, but no ascription was provided. You have examined many quotations with incorrect …

Always Go To Other People’s Funerals — Otherwise, They Won’t Come To Yours

Yogi Berra? J. F. Shaw Kennedy? Charles Lee? Punch Magazine? Clarence Day? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: A comical remark about funeral attendance has been attributed to the baseball great Yogi Berra: Always go to other people’s funerals; otherwise they won’t go to yours. A simple interpretation seems to require ghosts to attend a future funeral. …

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