Quote Investigator® – Page 143

Quote Origin: Life Is Hard and Then You Die

Tony Daniels? Edmund Vance Cooke? James J. Montague? Carolyn McKane? Tom Robbins? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: There are many upbeat sayings on your website, but I would like you to explore a popular motto of the disaffected. Here are four versions:

Life is hard and then you die.
Life is rough and then you die.
Life sucks and then you die.
Life is a bitch, then you die.

Do you have any idea who coined this astringent adage of unhappiness and resignation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: An exact match for the fourth member of this family of sayings was printed in “The Washington Post” in 1982. The newspaper profiled a precocious 15-year-old and described a meeting of her high-school friends who held a wide-ranging discussion. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

…friends discussed everything from the definition of a lerp (“worse than a wimp, a totally worthless person”) to the meaning of life, a question that was addressed cynically by the composer, 15-year-old Tony Daniels, who said, “Life’s a bitch, then you die.”

The above statement is the earliest close match known to QI for this family of sayings. This citation is given in the “Yale Book of Quotations”² and the “Dictionary of Modern Proverbs”.³

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: If Anyone Says Anything Back, That Is an Outrage

Winston Churchill? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Genuine free speech entails disagreement and debate; it is never a one-sided notion. According to a Facebook meme Winston Churchill supposedly said:

Some people’s idea of free speech is that they are free to say what they like, but if anyone says anything back, that is an outrage.

I cannot tell whether this was really said by the famous British Prime Minister. Would you please trace it?

Reply from Quote Investigator: A closely matching statement was spoken by Winston Churchill in the U.K. Parliament on October 13, 1943. Boldface in excerpts added by QI:¹

Indeed Parliamentary democracy has flourished under party government. That is to say, it has flourished so long as there is full freedom of speech, free elections and free institutions.

So we must beware of a tyranny of opinion which tries to make only one side of a question the one which may be heard. Everyone is in favour of free speech. Hardly a day passes without its being extolled, but some people’s idea of it is that they are free to say what they like, but if anyone says anything back, that is an outrage.

The original remark recorded in the Hansard used the pronoun “it”. The slightly inaccurate modern version replaces “it” with the referent “free speech” to create a more compact and self-contained expression.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Foolish and the Dead Alone Never Change Their Opinion

Abraham Lincoln? James Russell Lowell? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Intelligent and thoughtful people maintain mental flexibility throughout life. It is irrational to rigidly adhere to a fixed opinion in the face of reliable contrary information. Abraham Lincoln supposedly said:

The foolish and the dead alone never change their opinions.

These words have also been credited to the prominent poet and editor James Russell Lowell. What do you think?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This quotation appeared in the 1871 collection “My Study Windows” by James Russell Lowell within a section about President Abraham Lincoln. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The imputation of inconsistency is one to which every sound politician and every honest thinker must sooner or later subject himself. The foolish and the dead alone never change their opinion.

The passage above was written by Lowell and reflected his opinion. He did not ascribe the words to Lincoln; however, some readers probably became confused because the piece was about Lincoln. Lowell’s quotation differed slightly from the popular modern version. The word “opinion” was singular in the original statement.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: You Want Me To Work For Exposure, But People Die From Exposure

Head of Spiral Graphics? Steve Miller? Steven M. Scotten? Tim Kreider? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: If you are a skilled musician, photographer, graphic artist, or writer you have probably received requests to perform work for free. For example, many people have written pieces for “The Huffington Post” without monetary compensation. The requesters often state that they offer a uniquely attractive venue or platform which will provide a valuable audience. You will achieve wide exposure and increase your fame; later a mysterious alchemical process will convert your fame into wealth.

The word “exposure” has another denotation; it refers to experiencing the harsh effects of weather without protection, especially facing cold. Some regions record mortality statistics for exposure. A comically bitter pun has been crafted based on this ambiguity:

You want me to work for exposure? But don’t you know that many people die from exposure every year?

A compressed version of the joke simply states:

Artist dies of exposure.

Would you please explore the provenance of this quip?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence located by QI appeared in a Usenet newsgroup called alt.art.marketplace in April 1996 within a message thread using the subject line “I am an ANGRY ARTIST!!!!!” Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

I was given a sage piece of advice from the owner/primary of Spiral Graphics in Albany NY (I give him a plug because his quote is so good, plus I can’t recall his name and want to give due credit) about working for exposure. He said “Go to the census bureau, and you’ll find that every year, thousands of people die of exposure.”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: An Acre of Performance Is Worth the Whole Land of Promise

William Dean Howells? James Howell? Red Auerbach? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Promises are easy to make and easy to break. Only actual conduct and achievements produce a reliable record of behavior. A popular figurative statement succinctly expresses this idea:

An acre of performance is worth a whole world of promise.

These words have been attributed to the prominent literary figure William Dean Howells and the famous basketball coach Red Auerbach. Would you please explore its provenance?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest strong match located by QI appeared long before William Dean Howells and Red Auerbach were born. The British historian James Howell employed the saying in a letter he sent to a correspondent in Antwerp that was published in a 1655 collection. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

An acre of performance is worth the whole Land of promise; Besides, as the Italian hath it, Deeds are men, and words women: you pleas’d to promise me when you shook hands with England to barter Letters with me; But wheras I writ to you a good while since by Mr. Simons, I have not receiv’d syllable from you ever since.

Howell used the poetically resonant phrase “Land of promise” instead of the prosaic “world of promise”. He also included a sexist adage.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Adage Origin: Three Stages of Acceptance: (1) It Is Not True. (2) It Is Contrary To Religion. (3) Everyone Knew It Before

Louis Agassiz? William Boyd Dawkins? Charles Lyell? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Groundbreaking ideas face an intimidating multistage gauntlet of resistance. Several popular quotations elaborate on this notion. The prominent Swiss-American geologist and biologist Louis Agassiz apparently crafted a pungent and humorous saying that outlined three stages. Would you please examine that quotation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Researchers have not yet found an expression of this type directly in the writings of Louis Agassiz who died in 1873. Nevertheless, he has often received credit for the thought. For example, the geologist and archaeologist William Boyd Dawkins presented a paper about hyena dens to the Somersetshire Archaeological and Natural History Society in England that appeared in the 1861-1862 proceedings.

At that time scientists were debating the age of the human race, and evidence suggested that humankind had resided on planet Earth much longer than six thousand years. Yet, some thinkers resisted the hypothesis of human antiquity. In the following passage Dawkins referred to a remark he ascribed to Agassiz. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

And this startling result of the combination of geology with archaeology, so unexpected, and so completely subversive of our pre-conceived notions, having met with, during the last fifty years, two out of the three inevitable objections which, according to Professor Agassiz, all new and startling facts in science must encounter, first, “that it is not true,” and secondly, “that it is contrary to religion,” has now happily arrived at the stage in which people say “everyone knew it before.”

In 1863 the famous geologist Sir Charles Lyell published “The Geological Evidences of the Antiquity of Man”. Lyell placed the statement he ascribed to Agassiz between quotation marks, but he did not give a citation:²

I may conclude this chapter by quoting a saying of Professor Agassiz, “that whenever a new and startling fact is brought to light in science, people first say, ‘it is not true,’ then that ‘it is contrary to religion,’ and lastly, ‘that everybody knew it before.'”

A separate QI article located here discusses the following related expression: “Three Stages of Discovery: First, They Deny It Is True; Second, They Deny It Is Important; Third, They Deny It Is New”.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Man Who Dares To Tell the Truth Is Called at Once a Lunatic and Fool

Plato? George Francis Train? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Truth tellers often face an unhappy fate in cautionary fables. They are derided, misunderstood, persecuted, or ignored. The famous ancient philosopher Plato supposedly said:

The young and old are taught falsehoods. The person who dares to tell the truth is called at once a lunatic and fool.

I have not been able to locate a solid citation. Would you please help?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Researchers have found no substantive evidence that Plato made this remark. The earliest close match known to QI appeared in the 1871 book “Pen Sketches of Nebraskans” by A. C. Edmunds. An eccentric American railroad financier, presidential aspirant, and world traveler named George Francis Train received credit for the following. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

Strange times are these, in which we live, forsooth; When young and old are taught in Falsehood’s school:—And the man who dares to tell the truth, Is called at once a lunatic and fool.

The statement was an epigraph to a profile titled “George Francis Train: The Man of Destiny”. In 1872 Train campaigned to become President of the United States, and a collection of his speeches was published under the title “The People’s Candidate for President, 1872”. According to this work Train caused a sensation when he spoke the quotation:²

You want sobriety, industry and morality in the exemplification of the character of your public men. I challenge an accusation against myself. [Applause.]

Strange times are those in which we live, forsooth,
When old and young are taught in falsehood’s school,
And the one man that dares to tell the truth
Is called at once a lunatic and fool.
(Sensation.)

The phrasing was slightly different in these two instances, e.g., the 1871 version contained “young and old”, whereas the 1872 version contained “old and young”.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: I Do Most of My Work Sitting Down. That’s Where I Shine

Robert Benchley? James G. Berrien? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Some regions of garments develop a shiny appearance when fibers are repeatedly compressed. Hence, the seats of pants sometimes become shiny. A few fabrics are particularly susceptible to this problem; in the past, blue serge suits were well-known for becoming undesirably shiny. The verb ‘to shine’ also has an alternative meaning: ‘to excel’. The popular humorist and actor Robert Benchley crafted a clever apposite joke:

I do most of my writing sitting down. That’s where I shine.

Should Benchley really receive credit?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In October 1942 the widely-distributed Sunday newspaper supplement “This Week Magazine” published a profile with the title “He Works Sitting Down” and the subtititle “And that’s where Robert Benchley shines” by Irving Wallace. Thus, Benchley’s quip was built into the header of the article. It was also repeated in the article body. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

But Benchley won’t forget his gags, either. He can’t stay away from humor.
“I shouldn’t complain,” he says with one of these apologetic chuckles. “After all, I do most of my work sitting down. That’s where I shine.”

QI believes that Benchley should receive credit for this formulation using sharp wordplay; however, amusing precursors were circulating by the 1920s.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: A Little Nonsense Now and Then is Relished by the Wisest Men

Roald Dahl? Willy Wonka? Gene Wilder? Horace? Lord Byron? Horace Walpole? Hudibras? Samuel Butler? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The 1971 film “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” was an extraordinary confection. The candy-maker Wonka played by Gene Wilder used numerous literary quotations while leading a tour of his factory. One scene took place in a room with geese that produced enormous golden eggs of chocolate. Each egg was analyzed by an “eggdicator” to determine whether it was a good egg or a bad egg. One parent on the tour considered the situation ridiculous, and Wonka replied to his skepticism with a quotation:¹

Grandpa Joe: It’s an educated eggdicator.
Henry Salt: It’s a lot of nonsense.
Willy Wonka: A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

Would you please trace this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The popular English author Roald Dahl published the children’s book “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” in 1964. Dahl also wrote the screenplay for “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” based on his book. The line spoken by Wonka in the movie is not in the 1964 book, but Dahl included it in the 1972 sequel called “Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator”.

The earliest strong match known to QI appeared in the newspaper “The New-York Mirror” in 1823. The reviewer of a new melodrama called “Undine, or the Spirit of the Waters” did not consider it a serious work, but he enjoyed it and recommended it. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:²

As a drama, it is not of the family of legitimates; but what then, who has not experienced the truth of that good old couplet, that

“A little nonsense, now and then,
Is relished by the wisest men!”

The reviewer disclaimed credit for the expression by labelling it an “old couplet”; hence, earlier citations probably exist. Nevertheless, quotation expert Nigel Rees deserves kudos for placing this valuable instance in his compilation “The Best Guide to Humorous Quotations”.³

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Do All the Good You Can; In All the Ways You Can

John Wesley? Nicholas Murray? Laban Clark? Kirwan? Dwight L. Moody? Tombstone in Shrewsbury? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: John Wesley was a prominent English religious figure whose teachings inspired Methodism. The following elaborate injunction is sometimes called “John Wesley’s Rule of Life”:

Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.

Would you please explore the provenance of this multipart expression?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Researchers have been unable to find these precise words in the oeuvre of John Wesley who died in 1791; however, there is evidence that he delivered sermons containing passages providing a partial match.

The 1799 work “Sermons on Several Occasions” by Reverend John Wesley contained a homily on “The Law Established through Faith” with the following guidance. Emphasis in excerpts added by QI:¹

Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Neither is love content with barely working no evil to our neighbour. It continually incites us to do good: as we have time, and opportunity, to do good in every possible kind, and in every possible degree to all men.

The collection also contained a sermon on “The Use of Money” by Wesley with the following instructions:²

No more waste! Cut off every expence which fashion, caprice, or flesh and blood demand. No more covetousness! But employ whatever God has intrusted you with, in doing good, all possible good, in every possible kind and degree, to the household of faith, to all men.

The earliest strong match located by QI appeared in the 1852 book “The Riches that Bring No Sorrow” by Erskine Neale who used a footnote to ascribe the words to someone named Dr. Murray:³

And one—the most legitimate—inference from the Sacred Volume was systematically overlooked: “Do all the good you can; in all the ways you can; to all the people you can; and just as long as you can.”†

†Dr. Murray.

An 1868 citation given further below indicated that an American Presbyterian clergyman Nicholas Murray employed a version of the statement above, and this person might be the Murray referenced; however, Murray credited an unnamed ninety-one year old man.

QI believes that the excerpt above may have evolved from Wesley’s words. Admittedly, the components of this excerpt have a parallel structure that makes it more interesting and memorable than Wesley’s version.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.