Quote Origin: It Is Better to Know Nothing than to Know What Ain’t So

Josh Billings? Artemus Ward? Will Rogers? Abraham Lincoln? Mark Twain? Friedrich Nietzsche? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Here are two versions of an expression I am trying to trace:

1) It’s better to know nothing than to know what ain’t so.

2) It is better not to know so much, than to know so many things that ain’t so.

Should these words be credited to Mark Twain, Josh Billings, Artemus Ward, Will Rogers, or someone else?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1874 the following compendium was released: “Everybody’s Friend or Josh Billing’s Encyclopedia and Proverbial Philosophy of Wit and Humor”. The apostrophe in the name Billings was misplaced in the title. The work employed nonstandard spelling which causes headaches for modern researchers who are attempting to find matches using standard spelling. One section was labeled “Affurisms” because it contained “Aphorisms”. The book included two thematically relevant statements:1

A) I honestly beleave it iz better tew know nothing than two know what ain’t so.

B) Wisdum don’t konsist in knowing more that iz new, but in knowing less that iz false.

Here are the two sentences written with standard spelling:

A) I honestly believe it is better to know nothing than to know what ain’t so.

B) Wisdom don’t consist in knowing more that is new, but in knowing less that is false

QI believes that Josh Billings can be credited with the sayings above. There exists a large family of semantically overlapping expressions that form an inclusive superset, and QI will eventually examine some of the other members of this extended group.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: Drunk on the Idea That Love, Only Love, Could Heal Our Brokenness

F. Scott Fitzgerald? Christopher Poindexter? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Goodreads is one of the most popular community websites for readers, and it includes a massive collection of quotations. Since anyone can share a quotation it is unsurprising that some of them are misattributed or inaccurately stated. Recently, I came across the following words which were credited to the classic novel “The Great Gatsby” by F. Scott Fitzgerald:

And in the end, we were all just humans, drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness.

This statement has been propagated through social media channels such as Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, and Facebook with an ascription to Fitzgerald, but I know it definitely is not in the “The Great Gatsby”. This is confusing. What do you think?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The poet Christopher Poindexter crafted this expression. The earliest evidence located by QI was a tweet dated May 14, 2013 from the account @healthesebones. This account is currently inactive, but in the past it was used by Poindexter.1

The tweet referred to the fourth short poem in a cycle called “The blooming of madness” written by the artist, and the link within the tweet pointed to an image shared by Poindexter via his Instagram account that displayed the verse as a typewritten palimpsest fragment using black and red ink. See here.2

When QI used twitter to ask Poindexter about the quotation he replied emphatically via his current account @ChristopherPoin:3

. . . this is my quote. It has been misquoted everywhere on the Internet. You will not find it in Fitzgerald’s books.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: Have You Tried Curiosity?

Dorothy Parker? Leonard Lyons? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The famous wit Dorothy Parker was a friend of Alexander Woollcott, a notable writer for “The New Yorker” magazine. When Woollcott’s ancient cat developed a serious malady he was told by a veterinarian that the animal would have to be put to sleep. Uncertain of how to proceed, he consulted with Parker who said, “Have you tried curiosity?”

I offer my apologies to cat lovers for retelling this anecdote. Would you please examine the veracity of this incident?

Reply from Quote Investigator: To understand Parker’s quip the reader must be aware of an odd piece of proverbial wisdom that was in circulation by the 1800s:

Curiosity killed the cat.

A precursor proverb using the same template employed the word “care” instead of “curiosity”; the term “care” referred to worry and anxiety. For example, Shakespeare wrote in “Much Ado About Nothing” circa 1599:

What! courage, man! What though care killed a cat, thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care.

The earliest instance of the Parker quip located by QI appeared in the popular syndicated gossip column of Leonard Lyons in 1966.1 This version of the tale did not involve Woollcott, and the incident described occurred one week before the publication of the column when Dorothy Parker visited the residence of the actor Zero Mostel. Boldface has been added to excerpts. Ellipses were present in the original text:2

Ian Hunter also was among the guests, and Mostel asked him about his cat — which terrorizes everyone: “Have you killed that cat yet?” … “No, I haven’t,” Hunter said. “Frankly, I can’t afford it — to pay the fee for killing my cat.” … Mrs. Parker suggested: “Have you tried curiosity?”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: Government Is Like Fire, a Dangerous Servant and a Fearful Master

George Washington? John Tillotson? Jonathan Swift? James Fenimore Cooper? Frederick Uttley Laycock? Robert Heinlein? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: A cautionary statement about statecraft has often been attributed to George Washington. Here are three versions:

1) Government is like fire, a dangerous servant and a fearful master.
2) Government, like fire, is a troublesome servant and a terrible master.
3) A government is like fire, a handy servant, but a dangerous master.

Washington died in 1799, but I have seen no citations in the 1700s or 1800s; therefore, I am suspicious. Would you please examine the provenance of this remark?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Several researchers have attempted to trace this saying, and no substantive evidence supporting the ascription to George Washington has yet been located. The earliest linkage to Washington appeared in “The Christian Science Journal” in 1902 which was more than one hundred years after his death. Boldface has been added to excerpts:1

The first President of the United States said: “Government is not reason, it is not eloquence,—it is force! Like fire, it is a dangerous servant, and a fearful master; never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible action.”

The master-servant metaphorical framework has a very long history. In 1562 water was described as a good servant but a cruel master. The spelling of the period was not standardized as shown by this excerpt:2

Rayne water is bynding and stopping of nature, water is a very good seruaunt, but it is a cruell mayster.

In 1637 the report of a great conflagration led a writer to state that fire and water were both good servants but evil masters. Indeed, the context suggested that this assertion was already considered proverbial. The word “evil” was spelled “evill”:3

… the Temple St Marke was almost all burnt, and the Dukes Palace was preserved with great difficulty; which verifies, that fire and water are good servants but evill masters.

A sermon in 1674 employed the master-servant figurative language by embedding it within a simile about fancy. Here “fancy” meant imagination with a strong connotation of desire:4

Fancy is like fire, a good Servant but a bad Master; if it march under the conduct of faith it may be highly serviceable, and by putting lively colours upon divine truth may steal away our affections to it.

The words attributed to George Washington followed the same template, but “government” was substituted for “fancy”. Examples presented below will show that over time each of the following terms has been placed into the simile template: “zeal”, “the passions”, “love”, and “the press”. In addition, the following terms have replaced “fire and water” within the proverb: “the bank”, “the press”, and “opium”. These examples are not meant to be exhaustive; instead, they illustrate the variability of the expressions.

Interestingly, the instances ascribed to Washington have shifted the semantics of the phrase about fire. Traditionally, fire was described as a good servant, but the revised remark used words such as dangerous and troublesome. Hence, the connotations of fire were negative as both a servant and a master.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: The Existence of Forgetting Has Never Been Proved

Friedrich Nietzsche? Thomas De Quincey? W. H. Auden? Louis Kronenberger? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: A provocative comment about human memory has been attributed to the controversial philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche:

The existence of forgetting has never been proved: we only know that some things do not come to mind when we want them.

This statement suggests that human memory is more capacious than we imagine, but recollection is hampered because retrieval is sometimes difficult. As an experimental psychologist researching the plasticity of human memory I find this perspective fascinating, and I would like to include the statement in an article under preparation. Unfortunately, the lack of a good citation is problematic. Would you please help?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1881 Friedrich Nietzsche released “Morgenröthe: Gedanken über die moralischen Vorurtheile” which has been given the English title “The Dawn of Day”. The work consisted of more than 550 short numbered sections, and in the 126th Nietzsche discussed memory and forgetfulness. The beginning of this excerpt from a 1911 translation by J. M. Kennedy strongly matched the quotation under examination.1 The full passage was somewhat convoluted. Boldface has been added to excerpts:2

FORGETFULNESS.—It has never yet been proved that there is such a thing as forgetfulness: all that we know is that we have no power over recollection. In the meantime we have filled up this gap in our power with the word “forgetfulness,” exactly as if it were another faculty added to our list. But, after all, what is within our power? If that word fills up a gap in our power, might not the other words be found capable of filling up a gap in the knowledge which we possess of our power?

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: Freedom of the Press Is Guaranteed Only to Those Who Own One

A. J. Liebling? H. L. Mencken? Norman Woelfel? Arthur Calwell?

Question for Quote Investigator: There exists a famously sardonic remark about the media and control. Here are four versions:

1) Freedom of the press belongs to those who own one.
2) Freedom of the press is confined to the people who own one.
3) Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one.
4) Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.

The underpinnings of this adage may be shifting because of the ubiquity of the internet, but I still think it is compelling. These words have been attributed to commentator H. L. Mencken and journalist A. J. Liebling. Would you please examine its provenance?

Reply from Quote Investigator: An exact match to the fourth expression was printed in the “The New Yorker” magazine in 1960. A. J. Liebling wrote an essay titled “The Wayward Press: Do You Belong in Journalism?” that included the following passage. Boldface has been added to excerpts:1

The best thing Congress could do to keep more newspapers going would be to raise the capital-gains tax to the level of the income tax. (Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.) There are irresistible reasons for a businessman either to buy or to sell, and anybody who owns the price of a newspaper nowadays must be a businessman.

The motivation of Liebling’s stylistic choice to place the statement between parentheses was not completely clear. It was possible that he was repeating an existing adage. Nevertheless, the top reference works today2 credit Liebling based on this 1960 citation.3

Interestingly, strong thematic matches appeared in the 1940s as shown below, but the phrasing was not as elegant and compact. Also, these earlier comments did not display a humorous edge.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: Science Is Organized Knowledge. Wisdom Is Organized Life

Immanuel Kant? Herbert Spencer? Will Durant? Raoul Jossett? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: There is a fascinating two-part adage about science and wisdom that is commonly attributed to the influential 18th century philosopher Immanuel Kant:

Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.

I have attempted to find a convincing citation for this saying, but none of the websites or books that present these words have been helpful. What do you think?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Immanuel Kant communicated in German, and QI believes that he probably did not write or speak a statement in German that corresponded to the English quotation above. Instead, QI believes that the first part of the expression was crafted by the influential philosopher and sociologist Herbert Spencer. In addition, QI conjectures that the popular historian Will Durant constructed the second part while he was attempting to explain the thoughts of Kant; Durant also combined the two parts.

Kant died in 1804, and the earliest evidence of the first phrase was published in an essay titled “The Art of Education” by Spencer in May 1854. Boldface has been added to excerpts.1

Science is organized knowledge; and before knowledge can be organized, some of it must first be possessed. Every study, therefore, should have a purely experimental introduction; and only after an ample fund of observations has been accumulated, should reasoning begin.

Further discussion of Spencer’s remark is presented in a separate website entry located here. This article will explore the full two-part expression.

In 1924 the historian Will Durant published a one-volume popular work titled “The Story of Philosophy” which included a section called “Kant and German Idealism”. During the following decades revised editions were released. The following passage appeared in the 1938 and 1943 editions. QI has not yet been able to examine the 1924 edition.

Durant explained Kant’s philosophical position by discussing a hierarchical sequence of interacting levels. The quotation under examination was part of Durant’s elucidation:2 3

Sensation is unorganized stimulus, perception is organized sensation, conception is organized perception, science is organized knowledge, wisdom is organized life: each is a greater degree of order, and sequence, and unity. Whence this order, this sequence, this unity? Not from the things themselves; for they are known to us only by sensations that come through a thousand channels at once in disorderly multitude; it is our purpose that put order and sequence and unity upon this importunate lawlessness.

This passage reflected Durant’s conception of Kant’s ideas, and it was not directly translated from Kant’s German. Indeed, Durant remarked in a footnote that his discussion of the difficult philosopher employed few quotations:4

A word about what to read. Kant himself is hardly intelligible to the beginner, because his thought is insulated with a bizarre and intricate terminology (hence the paucity of direct quotation in this chapter).

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Quote Origin: Science Is Organized Knowledge

Immanuel Kant? Herbert Spencer? Thomas Henry Huxley? R. Strachey?

Question for Quote Investigator: The following two part adage is usually attributed to the famous 18th century German philosopher Immanuel Kant:

Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.

I have not seen any citation in German or English showing that Kant ever wrote or said this. Would you please explore this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This entry examines only the first sentence of this two sentence quotation, and a separate entry explores the full quotation.

Immanuel Kant died in 1804, and the earliest evidence found by QI appeared many years later. In May 1854 the prominent English philosopher and sociologist Herbert Spencer published an essay titled “The Art of Education” in “The North British Review” which included the adage. Boldface has been added to excerpts.1

A leading phenomenon in human progress is, that every science is evolved out of its corresponding art. It results from the necessity we are under, both individually and as a race, of reaching the abstract by way of the concrete, that there must be practice and an accruing experience with its empirical generalizations, before there can be science. Science is organized knowledge; and before knowledge can be organized, some of it must first be possessed. Every study, therefore, should have a purely experimental introduction; and only after an ample fund of observations has been accumulated, should reasoning begin.

QI believes that Spencer should be credited with this definitional phrase. The statement has been ascribed to him in multiple reference works, e.g., “A New Dictionary of Quotations” compiled by H. L. Mencken2 and the “FPA Book of Quotations” selected by Franklin Pierce Adams.3

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: It’s the Guy You Give Something To That You Can’t Please

Will Rogers? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: We live in an age of free apps, free ebooks, and free online services, but that does not restrain criticism. The popular humorist Will Rogers once spoke about the inability to please some individuals who receive material for free. I haven’t been able to precisely locate this quotation. Would you please help?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1926 Will Rogers wrote in his syndicated newspaper column about his experiences while touring the United States. His reception had been wonderful during his 75 nights on the road, and he had recently performed in Massachusetts:1

Can you imagine me appearing at Symphony hall in Boston? From the Stock yards at Claremore, Oklahoma to Symphony hall, Boston. Me, with my repertoire of 150 words (most of them wrong), trying to enlighten the descendants of the Cod. But they were fine.

However, in Boston a hostile music critic named Parker reviewed the comedian’s performance, and Rogers presented a summary of his negative analysis:

Just one old boy there that thought we were “desecrating” their temple of art by causing laughter in it.

Rogers addressed the critic and then employed the quotation under examination which he labelled an “old gag”. Boldface has been added to excerpts:2

Your seat was about the only free one. It’s the old gag; people that pay for things never complain. It’s the guy you give something to that you can’t please.

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Origin of Spoonerism: You Have Hissed All My Mystery Lectures

William A. Spooner? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The funniest reproach aimed at a student that I have ever heard was spoken by Reverend William A. Spooner who was the Warden of New College, Oxford. The clergyman was famous for jumbling the letters and sounds of words when he spoke. His castigation of the student began with this curious remark:

You have hissed all my mystery lectures.

Unscrambling the statement revealed its meaning:

You have missed all my history lectures.

I know that most spoonerisms were never actually spoken by Spooner. Would you please explore the provenance of the short speech that began with the line above?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest strong match for the phrase above found by QI was printed in “The Strand Magazine” in an article titled “Spooneriana” by A. T. Corke in 1911. Spooner lived from 1844 to 1930. Boldface has been added to excerpts:1

But the apotheosis of his vagaries is reached in this stern reprimand to an erring and, let us hope, repentant undergraduate: “Sir, your conduct has been nothing less than disgraceful; you have hissed three of my mystery lectures, you have been convicted of fighting a liar in the inner quad, and in addition, there is no doubt whatever in my own mind that you have tasted a whole worm!”

The text without the swapped elements would read as follows:

Sir, your conduct has been nothing less than disgraceful; you have missed three of my history lectures, you have been convicted of lighting a fire in the inner quad, and in addition, there is no doubt whatever in my own mind that you have wasted a whole term!

In some later versions of the passage above the student is told:

Please leave Oxford on the next town drain.

The final two words referred to the “down train”. This spoonerism was also included in a different section of the article in “The Strand Magazine”:

. . . his complaint to the station-master of the continued unpunctuality of the “town drain”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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