Quote Investigator® – Page 179

Quote Origin: Half of the Town Councilors Are Not Fools

Swedish Councilor? Benjamin Disraeli? Australian Alderman? Casey Motsisi? Dennis Skinner? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Recently on twitter I saw a joke about the limits placed on unparliamentary language in Britain. A photo depicted an unhappy contemporary politician in the House of Commons with a caption similar to the following:

Politician: Half the members of the opposition are crooks.
House of Commons Speaker: Please retract.
Politician: OK. Half the members of the opposition are not crooks.

In the past, I heard an anecdote that followed the same outline and finished with the punch line:

Half the Cabinet members are not asses.

These words were attributed to the prominent British statesman Benjamin Disraeli. However, I haven’t been able to find a good citation. Would you please examine this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: An anecdote about Benjamin Disraeli following the template of this joke has been in circulation for decades. However, the earliest evidence located by QI linking the tale to Disraeli appeared in 1958, and the statesman died in 1881. Details for this citation are given further below.

The first instance of the jape found by QI was printed in a newspaper story in July 1927 set in an unnamed town near Uppsala, Sweden. A government official reportedly lost his temper and rebuked his fellows. Boldface has been added:¹

A municipal councilor … remarked that certainly half of his colleagues were fools. An apology was demanded. He promised to make reparation and caused bills with the following correction to be posted on boardings in the town: “I said that half of the town councilors are fools. I now declare that half of the town councilors are not fools.”

Over the years the jest has evolved and has been aimed at a variety of people, including town councilors, aldermen, cabinet members, and members of the House of Commons.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Happiness Is A Butterfly, Which When Pursued, Seems Always Just Beyond Your Grasp

Nathaniel Hawthorne? Henry David Thoreau? L.? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: An ingenious and lovely simile about happiness is confusingly attributed to two prominent literary figures: Nathaniel Hawthorne and Henry David Thoreau. Here are two versions:

Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.

Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.

Who do you think really originated this analogy?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI believes that neither of these gentlemen was responsible for this figurative language. The earliest evidence known to QI was published in several periodicals beginning in 1848.

In June 1848 a newspaper called “The Daily Crescent” in New Orleans, Louisiana printed a set of sixteen definitions for terms such as “Love”, “Faith”, “Truth”, “Wealth”, and “Experience”. The article was labelled “For the Crescent”, so this article may have been the original publication. The author was only identified by the single initial “L”.

The butterfly metaphor was presented within the definition for “Happiness”. Here’s a sampling of three definitions. Emphasis by QI:¹

LOVE.—The electric spark communicating between two human galvanic batteries.

WEALTH.—The sum which gives content, whether one dollar or a million.

HAPPINESS.—A butterfly, which when pursued, seems always just beyond your grasp; but if you sit down quietly, may alight upon you.

The mistaken ascription to Nathaniel Hawthorne appeared many years later and was probably based on the misreading of an ambiguous entry in a book of quotations published in 1891. The details are given further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Anyone Who Doesn’t Take Truth Seriously in Small Matters Cannot Be Trusted in Large Ones Either

Albert Einstein? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: My University has an Academic Integrity Office which has launched a poster campaign that includes an image of Albert Einstein together with the following statement which has been ascribed to the brilliant physicist:

Anyone who doesn’t take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted with large ones either.

Misquotations linked to this famous genius are very common, and I have not yet found convincing evidence that these really are the words of Einstein. Would you please examine this topic?

Quote Investigator: QI believes that this quotation and its ascription are genuine; however, the words were originally written in German by Einstein; hence, multiple translations into English were possible.

In 1957 the journal “New Outlook: Middle East Monthly” printed a statement with the following description:

Excerpt from Albert Einstein’s last statement, April, 1955, published here for the first time through the kindness of Helen Dukas, Professor Einstein’s secretary.

The journal presented the text in German with an accompanying English translation. The English passage included a close match for the statement under investigation. Boldface has been added:¹

Wenn es sich um Wahrheit und Gerechtigkeit handelt, gibt es nicht die Unterscheidung zwischen kleinen und grossen Problemen. Denn die allgemeinen Gesichtspunkte, die das Handeln der Menschen betreffen, sind unteilbar. Wer es in kleinen Dingen mit der Wahrheit nicht ernst nimmt, dem kann man auch in grossen Dingen nicht vertrauen…

When the issue is one of Truth and Justice, there can be no differentiating between small problems and great ones. For the general viewpoints on human behaviour are indivisible. People who fail to regard the truth seriously in small matters, cannot be trusted in matters that are great.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Repentance on a Sunday for What One Has Done on Saturday

Thomas R. Ybarra? Contributor to Life Magazine? Victor L. Berger? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Individuals who attend church services without sincerity have long been criticized with the following sardonic description:

Those who repent on Sunday,
For what they did on Saturday,
And plan to do again on Monday.

I have been unable to determine who first said this. Would you please help?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest close match located by QI was printed in the humor magazine “Life” in 1905, and the author was unidentified:¹

A Christian is a man who feels
Repentance on a Sunday
For what he has done on Saturday,
And is going to do on Monday.

This theme has a long history and QI conjectures that the above verse was inspired directly or indirectly by lines in a poem published in the eighteenth century. Details are given below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Do Not Be So Open-Minded That Your Brains Fall Out

Carl Sagan? Arthur Hays Sulzberger? Marianne Moore? E. E Cummings? William Allan Neilson? Walter Kotschnig? Samuel Butler? G. K. Chesterton? Max Radin? James Oberg? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: There is a desirable balance between exploring novel ideas with an open mind and maintaining a healthy skepticism. The following humorous cautionary statement exemplifies the tension:

Do not be so open-minded that your brains fall out.

I have heard this expression attributed to New York Times publisher Arthur Hays Sulzberger, Smith College President William Allan Neilson, and astronomer Carl Sagan. Do you know who should be credited?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest published close match located by QI appeared in a newspaper report in January 1940 about a speech by Walter Kotschnig given at Mount Holyoke College in Massachusetts. Kotschnig worked with refugee organizations early in his career and subsequently joined the United States State Department.¹ Boldface has been added:²

Prof. Walter Kotschnig told Holyoke College students to keep their minds open—“but not so open that your brains fall out.”

He condemned the purpose of students who go to college merely to learn skill and urged his listeners to find the “real aim of education, to acquire a philosophy of life, intellectual honesty, and a constant search for truth.”

QI has also located an article published in February 1940 describing a speech delivered by Kotschnig in November 1939. This citation had the second earliest publication date for a close match; however, the date of the speech was the earliest. Details are given further below.

The same metaphor was used in 1937; however, the phrasing was condemnatory instead of cautionary. Details for this citation are given further below. The comical notion that an open mind might lead to a mind with “nothing in it at all” was suggested much earlier in 1886.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: There’s a Sucker Born Every Minute

P.T. Barnum? Hungry Joe Lewis? Artemus Ward? Mike McDonald? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: A famous saying about gullibility is usually attributed to the well-known showman P. T. Barnum. Here are two versions:

There’s a sucker born every minute.
There’s a fool born every minute.

Whether Barnum actually used either of these expressions is controversial. Would you please examine this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has located no persuasive evidence that Phineas Taylor Barnum who died in 1891 spoke or wrote this saying. Researcher Ralph Keyes presented a skeptical stance with his assertion in “The Quote Verifier” that “No modern historian takes seriously the routine attribution of this slogan to P. T. Barnum.”¹

There exists a family of closely related expressions with a long history. Here is a sampling together with years of occurrence. The first item listed employed dialectical spelling. The word “flat” was a synonym for “fool”. The abbreviation “attrib” means that the words were attributed to an individual, but the evidence was indirect. The abbreviation “anon” means anonymous:

1806: there vash von fool born every minute
1826: a new fool is born every day
1835: there is a flat born every minute
1877: there is a fool born every hour
1879: there’s a sucker born every minute (anon adage)
1882: there was a sucker born every minute (attrib anon con man)
1885: there was a sucker born every minute (attrib Hungry Joe)
1888: there is a sucker born every minute (attrib Artemus Ward)
1889: a sucker is born every minute (attrib Mike McDonald)
1890: a fool was born every minute (attrib P.T. Barnum)
1892: there was a sucker born every minute (attrib P.T. Barnum)

The above listing is a snapshot of current research results, and it will certainly change over time as more data is gathered. The earliest instances of these expressions were anonymous, and QI believes that later attributions had inadequate support.

Here are selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: If I Had a Single Flower for Every Time I Think of You, I Could Walk Forever in My Garden

Alfred Lord Tennyson? Claudia Adrienne Grandi? Claudia Ghandi? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The website of a major international news organization has an article titled “Tennyson: 10 Essential Quotes” with the following item listed third:¹

If I had a flower for every time I thought of you… I could walk through my garden forever.

Strangely, I have not been able to locate this expression in the oeuvre of Alfred Lord Tennyson. According to the commentary in the article this quote has become quite popular:

This romantic sentiment may sound like the message on a greeting card, but it now makes its way into wedding speeches and toasts.

Would you please trace the provenance of this popular sentiment?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has located no substantive support for crediting the famous poet Alfred Lord Tennyson with this expression.

The earliest evidence of a close match found by QI was printed in an advertising section of a Santa Ana, California newspaper on Valentine’s Day in 1985. The section contained messages expressing love, and one item was addressed to Theresa from Steve:²

IF I HAD A SINGLE FLOWER FOR EVERYTIME I THINK ABOUT YOU I WOULD WALK FOREVER IN MY GARDEN.

The phrasing of this instance differed somewhat from the most common modern version. For example, this poem referred to “a single flower” instead of “a flower”; also, the position of the word “forever” was shifted. No attribution was listed.

In subsequent years, instances of the poem appeared as a Valentine’s Day message in other newspapers. For example, in 1989 the European edition of “The Stars and Stripes” for the U.S. Armed Forces included an item with slightly different phrasing compared to 1985. The word “about” was replaced by “of” and “would” was changed to “could”. Boldface has been added to excerpts:³

It is my greatest wish to give you all the love you could ever need. If I had a single flower for every time I think of you, I could walk forever in my garden. Happy Valentine’s Day!

In 1990 a Valentine’s note was printed in “The Post Standard” of Syracuse, New York. Once again no attribution was provided:⁴

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden. My teepee is empty when you are gone

In May 1992 an illuminating instance was printed in a Rockmart, Georgia newspaper. The paper described the contents of an annual publication called “The Sting” which was created by the local Middle School. A section of memories included the verse and identified the author as Claudia Adrienne Grandi. This was the earliest ascription known to QI:⁵

A special remembrance was given to Joey Watts with a poem which read: “If I had a single flower for every time I think of you, I could walk forever in my garden” written by Claudia Adrienne Grandi.

The evocative poems of Grandi have appeared in several collections published by “Blue Mountain Arts” which is a popular greeting card company. QI believes Grandi is the most likely originator of this verse, and Tennyson should not be credited.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: They May Forget What You Said, But They Will Never Forget How You Made Them Feel

Frank A. Patterson Jr.? Maya Angelou? Carl W. Buehner? Carl W. Buechner? Carol Buchner? Don Aslett? Jerry Johnston? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The most valuable advice that I have ever heard for speakers and teachers is the following:

They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

This statement has been attributed to Carol Buchner, Maya Angelou, and others. The essential insight is that a skilled communicator must be aware of the emotional valence of his or her words. Would you please explore the history of this quotation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence located by QI appeared in a 1971 collection titled “Richard Evans’ Quote Book”. The statement was ascribed to Carl W. Buehner who was a high-level official in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints:¹

They may forget what you said — but they will never forget how you made them feel.
—Carl W. Buehner

Richard L. Evans who compiled the set of quotations was also a prominent figure in the LDS church. For more than forty years he was the program narrator for the weekly radio and television broadcast of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir called “Music and the Spoken Word”.²

Evans presented three-minute sermonettes addressing a variety of themes.³ The book’s subtitle indicated that some material was from these broadcasts:

Selected from the “Spoken Word” and “Thought for the Day” and from many inspiring thought-provoking sources from many centuries.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Don’t Tax You. Don’t Tax Me. Tax That Fellow Behind the Tree

Russell B. Long? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: It’s tax time again in the U.S., and I recently heard a humorous rhyming verse on this topic:

Don’t tax you. Don’t tax me. Tax the guy behind the tree.

Do you know who originally said this?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest close match for this verse located by QI appeared in a “Money” magazine article in July 1973 titled “Congress Tackles the Income Tax”. The words were credited to Russell B. Long who was a legislator from Louisiana:¹

“Most people have the same philosophy about taxes,” says Senator Russell B. Long, who has heard all the variations during seven years as chairman of the Senate Finance Committee, which handles tax legislation. Long puts that universal theme to verse:

Don’t tax you,
Don’t tax me,
Tax that fellow behind the tree.

This is the earliest citation for the full tripartite expression located by QI; however, other versions were in circulation by the 1930s, and the expression evolved over a period of decades.

In March 1932 “Collier’s Weekly” ran an article titled “Tax Everyone But Me” which included an instance starting with “Congress! Congress! Don’t tax me” instead of the sing-song: “Don’t tax you. Don’t tax me”. Boldface has been added to excerpts:²

At the end of the year, and again at the opening of 1932, the hotel rooms and lobbies of Washington were crowded and swarming with citizens who had come to play, in paraphrased adult form, an old game of their childhood:

Congress! Congress! Don’t tax me,
Tax that fellow behind the tree.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Writers Are Just Schmucks with Underwoods

Jack L. Warner? Bill Davidson? Samuel Goldwyn? Louis B. Mayer? Harry Cohn? Apocryphal?

Insult: Schmuck? Schlep? Schnook?

Question for Quote Investigator: The attitude of Hollywood producers toward writers has been epitomized by the following callous remark:

A writer is a schmuck with an Underwood.

The Underwood Typewriter Company manufactured the best writing implements when the statement was made. Here is another version I’ve seen:

Writers are just schmucks with typewriters.

These words have been attributed to Jack Warner, Samuel Goldwyn, and Harry Cohn. Would you please examine this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence located by QI appeared in 1961. Oddly, two different versions were given by a journalist named Bill Davidson in that year. The book “The Real and the Unreal” recounted Davidson’s extensive experiences in Hollywood and included the following passage. Boldface has been added:¹

One of the Warner brothers, for example, used to call all writers—even William Faulkner, who was once under his command—“schmucks with typewriters” (schmuck is a derisive Yiddish expression for a bumpkin, an idiot). He used to make all his writers punch a time clock as they entered and left the studio…

While Faulkner was crafting screenplays he was employed by the powerful studio chief Jack Warner. Hence, Davidson was probably attributing the comment to Jack Warner who continued as an influential figure in the film business into the 1960s. This initial instance referred to “typewriters” instead of the particular brand “Underwood”.

In October 1961 Davidson wrote an article in “Show: The Magazine of the Arts”, and the content overlapped with material in his book. In the following excerpt the quotation incorporated the Yiddish term “schlep” instead of “schmuck”:²

There are several ways of getting hired in Hollywood. The first, and most difficult, is to have talent. The talented are considered untrustworthy interlopers. One of the Warner brothers, for example, used to call all writers—even William Faulkner, who was once under his command—“schleps with typewriters” (schlep is a derisive Yiddish expression for a bumpkin, an idiot).

It is unclear why Bill Davidson presented two different quotations, and the inconsistency reduces the credibility of the ascription. Perhaps Davidson had collected conflicting reports. Etymologically “schmuck” can be traced to the Yiddish term for phallus, and it was considered vulgar by some speakers. This taboo association might have provided a motivation for replacing one term with another.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.