Quote Investigator® – Page 200

Quote Origin: Thank You for the Gift Book. I Shall Lose No Time In Reading It

Benjamin Disraeli? William Gladstone? William Makepeace Thackeray? Moses Hadas? A celebrated botanist? A Scotchman? Thomas Bailey Aldrich? Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.? Samuel Wilberforce? Max O’Rell?

Question for Quote Investigator: Aspiring authors sent numerous manuscripts to the statesman and novelist Benjamin Disraeli. Reportedly, he would send back a wittily ambiguous response:

Many thanks; I shall lose no time in reading it.

This statement might mean that Disraeli would immediately start to read the volume, or it might mean that he would never read the book. A similar response has been credited to William Makepeace Thackeray. Also, I have seen the following variant phrasing:

Your book has arrived, and I shall waste no time reading it.

Could you determine who is responsible for this type of quip?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This amusing remark has been attributed to a large and varied collection of individuals over the past 140 years including: French comedian Max O’Rell, author William Makepeace Thackeray, Bishop Samuel Wilberforce, statesman Benjamin Disraeli, and his opposition William Gladstone.

First, QI notes that the phrase can be used in a straight-forward manner without a comical overlay. For example, a letter dated September 11, 1784 from the poet William Cowper used the phrase with the assumption that the text would indeed be read quickly:¹

I know that you will lose no time in reading it, but I must beg you likewise to lose none in conveying it to Johnson, that if he chuses to print it, it may go to the press immediately…

The earliest instance located by QI of an individual wielding the phrase with a humorous intent appeared in an 1871 issue of the British Quarterly Review. The quipster was identified as a botanist, but no name was given:²

A celebrated botanist used to return thanks somewhat in the following form:—’I have received your book, and shall lose no time in reading it.’ The unfortunate author might put his own construction on this rather ambiguous language.

In 1883 a travel book titled “There and Back; or, Three Weeks in America” printed the joke and referred to it as “the old equivoque”. The word “equivoque” meant a pun or a phrase with a double meaning:³

…they may adopt the old equivoque—”We have received your book, and shall lose no time in reading it!”

Also, in 1883 the witticism was printed in the science periodical Nature. The context was an article critical of testimonial letters which clearly indicated that the saying was being used sarcastically. The phrase was called a “well-known formula”:⁴

Many testimonials are framed after that well-known formula for acknowledging the receipt of pamphlets which runs as follows:—”Dear Sir,—I beg to thank you for the valuable pamphlet which you have so kindly sent me, and which I will lose no time in reading.” And I heard the other day a testimonial praised because it showed the electors whom not to elect.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Squeaky Wheel Gets the Grease

Josh Billings? Josh Weathersby? Cal Stewart? Ring Lardner? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Individuals who complain often receive the most attention. There is a popular analogy about squeaky wheels that I think has been incorrectly attributed to the humorist Josh Billings who was a famous lecturer in the 1800s. (Billings was the pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw.) Here are three versions of the maxim:

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.
The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
The squeaky wheel gets the oil.

Some reference works credit Josh Billings, but none of these works present a solid citation. Would you please attempt to uncover the truth about the provenance of this adage?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Some books have suggested that the maxim appeared in a poem called “The Kicker” that was supposedly composed by Josh Billings circa 1870. But the careful and scholarly reference “The Yale Book of Quotations” remarked that the existence of “The Kicker” by Billings has never been verified.¹ Indeed, QI believes that the attribution to Billings is unsupported.

The earliest appearance of this expression located by QI occurred in a collection of stories published in 1903. The author Cal Stewart constructed a colorful raconteur character that he called Uncle Josh Weathersby. The saying under investigation was contained in an epigraph that was ascribed to this character:²

“I don’t believe in kickin’,
It aint apt to bring one peace;
But the wheel what squeaks the loudest
is the one what gets the grease.”
—Josh Weathersby.

The word “kickin” was a slang term that referred to complaining or causing a disturbance..

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: We Are Never Alone. Not When the Night Is Darkest, the Wind Coldest

Taylor Caldwell? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Taylor Caldwell wrote several best-selling books. Two of her novels were made into popular television mini-series: “Testimony of Two Men” and “Captains and the Kings”. I found a quotation attributed to her that fits with this holiday season:

I am not alone at all, I thought. I was never alone at all. And that, of course, is the message of Christmas. We are never alone. Not when the night is darkest, the wind coldest, the word seemingly most indifferent. For this is still the time God chooses.

I do not know where this quote appeared, and when I checked Wikiquote the expression was not listed on the main page for Taylor Caldwell; instead, the words were in the “Unsourced” section. Do you think Caldwell wrote these words?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The quotation above was included in a short autobiographical tale by Taylor Caldwell that was published in “Family Circle” magazine on December 24, 1961. The story has been reprinted multiple times. In the tale Caldwell described a Christmas season during which she was divorced, jobless, and nearly moneyless. She despaired as she anticipated being forced to vacate her apartment together with her 5-year-old child.

But she succeeded in paying her rent and obtaining a new job. Part of her accomplishment and joy hinged on the positive consequences of a good deed she had performed six months earlier. In conclusion, the quote is accurate, and it appeared at the end of the story.¹

Image Notes: Public domain illustration of snowflakes from “The Century Dictionary” of 1895. Image has been resized and cropped.

Acknowledgement: Thanks to A. for this request.

Update History: On January 31, 2025 the format of the bibliographical notes was updated.

1996, Christmas in My Heart, Compiled and edited by Joe Wheeler, “My Christmas Miracle” by Taylor Caldwell, Start Page 209, Quote Page 214, (A note accompanying the acknowledgement of the reprint states that the story appeared in Family Circle on December 24, 1961; Family Circle has not been directly examined), Published by Guideposts, Carmel, New, York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎

Quote Origin: The Best Way to Cheer Yourself Is to Try to Cheer Somebody Else Up

Mark Twain? Albert Bigelow Paine? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: While watching a television show recently I heard the following saying credited to Mark Twain:

The best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer somebody else up.

The writers of television series sometimes sacrifice accuracy to enable more colorful story-telling. Is this quotation really from Twain?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This quote is very close to a statement written by Mark Twain in one of his notebooks in November 1896. The first “up” is omitted, and the word “try” is included in the original quote:¹

The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up.

After Twain died in 1910, his friend and biographer Albert Bigelow Paine became his literary executor. Paine examined a group of notebooks containing unpublished material by Twain, and he constructed a compilation of selected items. The result was published in 1935 under the title “Mark Twain’s Notebook”. The saying was printed in this posthumous work.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Age Is an Issue of Mind Over Matter. If You Don’t Mind, It Doesn’t Matter

Mark Twain? Jack Benny? Satchel Paige? Muhammad Ali? Unknown gerontology researcher?

Question for Quote Investigator: On a popular website recently I saw a slide show of quotations ascribed to Mark Twain that included the following:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

I thought this was said by the celebrated baseball pitcher Satchel Paige. Can you determine who should be credited?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Mark Twain created this witticism. For example, it is not found on TwainQuotes.com, the important website of Mark Twain quotations and resources¹ nor in the large compilation “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips”.²

The earliest evidence located by QI appeared in an article about aging that was published in multiple newspapers in 1968. The saying was attributed to an anonymous scientific researcher. The prefatory phrase was somewhat shorter:³

As one government researcher puts it: “Aging is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

The quote above was printed in a North Carolina newspaper in June. The same article and saying were printed in a paper in Schenectady, New York in July.⁴

The saying was memorable enough that the excerpt above was extracted from the article and printed by itself as a freestanding filler item in a Baton Rouge, Louisiana newspaper in July.⁵

The adage continued to circulate and in 1970 it was ascribed to an anonymous physician in an article from the UPI news service:⁶

“Aging is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” With these words, one physician summed up one of the factors that means better health in the later years — the attitude that one has toward growing older, chronologically.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Genius Is One Percent Inspiration, Ninety-Nine Percent Perspiration

Thomas Edison? Kate Sanborn? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Thomas Edison is credited with a famous adage about creativity and innovation:

Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration.

I found another quotation that specified a slightly different ratio of 2 percent to 98 percent. What did Edison actually say?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Edison did discuss both of the ratios given above, and he also spoke of different ingredients such as “hard work”. His popular aphorism evolved over time. Also, before Edison’s pronouncements were published there were other precursor statements in circulation. For example, in 1892 a newspaper in Massachusetts reacted to a statement by a prominent lecturer named Kate Sanborn. The newspaper indicated that sayings about the composition of genius were already being disseminated:¹

Kate Sanborn is getting lots of credit for having said that “talent is perspiration.” That idea has been expressed very often; in fact, much in the same terms. A common way of saying it is that “genius is perspiration more than inspiration.”

In 1893 Sanborn delivered a lecture in California that was reported in a Riverside newspaper. Here she suggested that genius was composed of three ingredients, but she did not give a memorable fractional breakdown:²

Her subject was “What is Genius?” She quoted copiously from ancient and modern writers, giving their definitions of the word genius, and wittily added that “genius is inspiration, talent and perspiration.”

In April 1898 “The Ladies’ Home Journal”³ printed a remark about genius credited to Thomas Edison. The main ingredient mentioned was “hard work” and the ratio was 98 to 2. Expert Ralph Keyes listed this citation in “The Quote Verifier” reference:⁴

Once, when asked to give his definition of genius, Mr. Edison replied: “Two per cent. is genius and ninety-eight per cent. is hard work.” At another time, when the argument that genius was inspiration was brought before him, he said: “Bah! Genius is not inspired. Inspiration is perspiration.”

Also, in April 1898 “The Youth’s Companion” printed similar remarks from Edison that presented a ratio 98 to 2:⁵

“Ninety-eight per cent. of genius is hard work,” says Thomas A. Edison, and he adds, “As for genius being inspired, inspiration is in most cases another word for perspiration.” As the foremost example in the world of one type of genius, Mr. Edison is an authority on the subject, and his aphorism corroborates Johnson’s often-quoted definition of genius, “the infinite capacity for taking pains.”

In May 1898 the president of a shoe company delivered a speech to high school students, and he incorporated an adage ascribed to Edison. But “hard work” was not listed as an ingredient. Instead, two constituents were given: inspiration and perspiration, and the ratio was 2 to 98:⁶

Even Mr. Edison is quoted as having said that genius may be divided into two parts, of which inspiration is 2 per cent and perspiration 98.

In June 1898 a version of the aphorism was published in a Montana newspaper, and it was attributed to a person who was writing about Edison instead of Edison himself:⁷

Speaking of the life and labors of Thomas A. Edison, a writer says that two per cent of his great discoveries and inventions can be credited to inspiration, while the other 98 per cent is due to perspiration.

At last, in 1901 the modern version of the saying with a ratio of 1 to 99 emerged in a newspaper in Idaho where it was credited to Edison. This citation was located by top-researcher Barry Popik:⁸

Genius is another name for hard work, honest work. “Genius,” says Edison “is 1 per cent inspiration and 99 per cent perspiration.” People who take pains never to do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for anything more than they do.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Man Who Does Not Read Has No Advantage Over the Man Who Cannot Read

Mark Twain? Joseph D. Eggleston Jr.? Inland Steel Company? Quin Ryan? Abigail Van Buren? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Mark Twain is credited with a marvelous saying about the importance of reading:

A person who won’t read has no advantage over one who can’t read.

I was unable to determine when this saying was created, but I did find another version while searching:

The man who doesn’t read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.

Now, I am suspicious that this adage may not be from Twain. Could you take a look?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Mark Twain said or wrote this maxim. Quotation expert Ralph Keyes¹ and Twain specialist Barbara Schmidt² both indicate that the connection to Twain is unsupported.

The earliest conceptual match for the expression located by QI was stated by Joseph D. Eggleston Jr. in “The Southern Workman” in 1910. Eggleston was the state superintendent of public instruction in Virginia. He advocated providing quality books for children through the library system. Eggleston used rhetorical questions that equated individuals who cannot read with those who do not read:³

Who can see the barely perceptible line between the man who can not read at all and the man who does not read at all? The literate who can, but does not, read, and the illiterate who neither does nor can?

The earliest close match found by QI was published in October 1914 in an item reprinted from the periodical “The Dodge Idea”. Oddly, the context was advertising. An exponent of delivering advertisements through the mail was unhappy that these messages were often thrown away unread. The adage was used twice in the article: once in the header and once in the body, but the statement was not attributed:⁴

A Man Who Does Not Read Has No Appreciable Advantage Over the Man Who Cannot Read

The man who doesn’t read hasn’t any advantage over the man who can’t read; yet there are many men who consider that the waste basket is the only place for second-class mail. The circular matter that goes through the mails is not intended to be a filler for waste baskets, but its purpose is to suggest a solution of certain problems.

The first ascription to Mark Twain found by QI was published in 1945. The details are given further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Future Is Not What It Used To Be

Yogi Berra? Paul Valéry? Laura Riding? Robert Graves? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: I am interested in a saying that is both humorous and shrewd:

The future is not what it used to be.

I have seen several other versions of the saying. The phrasing that uses the word “ain’t” is often credited to Yogi Berra:

The future ain’t what it used to be.
The future’s not what it was.
The future isn’t what it used to be.
The future is no longer what it used to be.

Who should be credited with this witty and sometimes rueful comment?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The baseball great Yogi Berra writing in his 1998 volume “The Yogi Book” did claim that he used this expression. A precise timeframe was not given, but the saying was accompanied with a picture from 1974. Yogi also offered an interpretation:¹

I just meant that times are different. Not necessarily better or worse. Just different.

The earliest evidence of this saying located by QI was published in 1937 in a journal called “Epilogue” within an article titled “From a Private Correspondence on Reality” by Laura Riding and Robert Graves. The authors who were both prominent literary figures asserted that the perception of the future had changed:²

The human mind has reached the end of temporal progress: the future is not what it used to be, and people talk with less and less progenitive self-precipitation into the future, and behave with more and more fatally decisive immediacy. The future, that is, contains nothing but scientific development. It is an involuntary spending and manipulation of physical forces, empty of consciousness: it no longer matters.

Also in 1937 the poet and philosopher Paul Valéry wrote a version of the phrase in French in the essay “Notre Destin et Les Lettres”. In 1948 his words were translated and published in English in “Our Destiny and Literature” which was part of the collection “Reflections on the World Today”. Here is the French statement and the English translation with additional context:³

L’avenir est comme le reste: il n’est plus ce qu’il était

The future, like everything else, is no longer quite what it used to be. By that I mean we can no longer think of it with any confidence in our inductions.

The above Valéry citation is listed in the important reference “The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs” from Yale University Press.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Those Who Mind Don’t Matter, and Those Who Matter Don’t Mind

Theodor Seuss Geisel? Mark Young? Bernard Baruch? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: I am trying to validate a quotation that is credited to Theodor Geisel who is better known as Dr. Seuss, the popular author of children’s books. I have been unable to determine where the quote appeared. The task is complicated because there are so many different versions. Here are four examples:

Do what you want to do, say what you want to say, because those who matter don’t mind, and those who do mind don’t matter.

Say what you want and be who you are, because those who matter don’t mind, and those who matter don’t mind.

Always do what you want, and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

Some skeptical commentators say that Seuss never wrote it. What do you think?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Theodor Seuss Geisel wrote or said this expression. Researchers have been unable to locate the statement in any of his books.

An entertaining precursor appeared in the humor magazine “Punch” in 1855:¹

A SHORT CUT TO METAPHYSICS.
What is Matter?—Never mind.
What is Mind?—No matter.

The second part of the statement under examination was in circulation by the 1930s. The earliest full instance located by QI was printed in 1938 in a journal based in London and written for municipal and county engineers. The phrase was used comically to discount the criticisms directed at housing designs. The words were enclosed in quotation marks suggesting that the quip was already known in 1938:²

Mr. Davies himself admitted that it was highly controversial and open to criticism; but criticism concerned both mind and matter. “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind!”

The repetition of clauses together with the reversal of key words embodied a rhetorical technique called antimetabole. In this case, the positions of the words “mind” and “matter” were exchanged.

Starting in the 1940s the expression was used in two popular anecdotes about seating arrangements at parties. The first tale was published in the Canadian periodical “Empire Digest” in February 1946 and featured Sir Mark Young who was at that time the Governor of Hong Kong. In the following excerpt the term “A.D.C.” was used for “aide-de-camp”, a personal assistant:³

He is the hero of many stories illustrating a rapier-like wit. One of the best is that of the lady, lunching at Government House, who was aggrieved to find herself on Sir Mark’s left instead of his right. She approached her grievance obliquely—but made it fairly obvious. Finally she remarked: “I suppose it is really very difficult for your A.D.C. always to put your guests in their right places?”
“Not at all,” said Sir Mark blandly, “for those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.”

In March 1946 this story was reprinted in the “Lethbridge Herald” newspaper of Alberta, Canada with an acknowledgement to Empire Digest.⁴

In May 1946 the anecdote was retold in the “Omaha World Herald” newspaper of Omaha, Nebraska. The setting and participants were the same. Yet, the dialog was somewhat different. The thrust of the punchline was preserved:⁵

One day, at a luncheon in the Government House, a lady prominent in society was vexed to discover that she had been seated at the end of the table, instead of next to the host.
This was, of course, a great blow to her prestige. At the end of the meal, she approached Sir Mark and said rather tartly:
“Apparently you don’t care where you seat your guests.”
Piqued by her hauteur, he replied:
“Madam, those who really matter, don’t mind where they are seated. And those who mind,” he added, “don’t usually matter.”

In August 1946 an alternate version of the anecdote was printed, and the punchline of the joke was credited to a different prominent person named Bernard Baruch. Baruch was an influential American financier who acted as an advisor to U.S. Presidents. A gossip columnist named Igor Cassini was acknowledged for telling the story and for participating in the dialog:⁶

B. Baruch, who entertains so many notables, was recently asked by Igor Cassini how he managed the seating arrangements at his soirees. “I suppose it’s really very difficult to put the guests in their correct places.” commented Mr. C. “Not at all,” stated the elder statesman. “Those who matter, don’t mind. Those who mind—don’t matter!”

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: I Have the Simplest Tastes; I Am Always Satisfied with the Best

Oscar Wilde? Edgar Saltus? Winston Churchill? Randolph Churchill? Lord Birkenhead? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: I have discovered two very similar quotations that are credited to two very different people. The first is ascribed to the legendary wit Oscar Wilde:

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

The second saying is attributed to the statesman Winston Churchill:

I am a man of simple tastes; I am easily satisfied with the best.

I have doubts that both quotes could be accurate, and I haven’t been able to find dates and solid citations for either. Can you help with this?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The author Edgar Saltus was a friend of Oscar Wilde, and in 1917 he released a short volume titled “Oscar Wilde: An Idler’s Impression” which included the following dialog between Saltus and Wilde:¹

“Come to my shop,” I said, “and have dinner with me. Though,” I added, “I don’t know what I can give you.”
“Oh, anything,” Wilde replied. “Anything, no matter what. I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.”

Wilde died in 1900 so the recollection of Saltus was published many years after the event described. Quotation expert Ralph Keyes included Wilde’s remark in his collection “The Wit & Wisdom of Oscar Wilde” and cited the 1917 book of Saltus.² Quotation maven Nigel Rees also included the quip in “Cassell’s Humorous Quotations”.³

Winston Churchill was associated with a similar statement, but he did not say the words himself. Instead, the comment was reportedly made by the British statesman F. E. Smith who used it when describing Churchill’s tastes. In the following newspaper account from 1948 Randolph Churchill, the son of Winston Churchill, used the name Lord Birkenhead when referring to Smith:⁴

The only hotel Randolph Churchill was able to get into, during his stay in New York, was the Waldorf. Churchill shrugged: “As the late Lord Birkenhead said of my father: ‘Mr. Churchill is a man of very simple tastes. He is always prepared to put up with the best of everything.'”

Next is one additional citation followed by the conclusion.