Quip Origin: If You’re Not Part of the Solution You’re Part of the Precipitate

David Foster Wallace? Richard Feynman? Sally Grant? Herb Caen? Wes Craven? Garrison Keillor? Henry J. Tillman? Graffito? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: Chemists have taken the popular saying (A) and converted it into the comical remark (B): (A) If you’re not part of the solution you’re part of the problem. (B) If you’re not part …

Quote Origin: I’d Rather Have a Free Bottle in Front of Me Than a Prefrontal Lobotomy

Tom Waits? Steve Allen? John Prine? Dorothy Parker? Fred Allen? Carlton W. Berenda? Herb Caen? Lew London? Joshua Baer? Dr. Rock? Randy Hanzlick? Graffito? Question for Quote Investigator: The following wordplay is popular with drinking enthusiasts. Here are two versions: (1) I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. (2) …

There Is No There There

Gertrude Stein? Herb Caen? Ben J. Wattenberg? William Gibson? Apocryphal? Question for Quote Investigator: A prominent literary figure attempted to return home after a long absence and found that the location was unfamiliar because the home had been demolished. Fond memories of youth were no longer attached to a physical location. The feeling of disconnection …

You Have the Same Chance of Winning a Lottery Whether You Play Or Not

Fran Lebowitz? Herb Caen? Don Bleu? Rob Morse? Rebecca Blagrave? Liz Smith? William Deresiewicz? Dear Quote Investigator: The probability that you will purchase a lottery ticket worth millions of dollars is miniscule. Here are two comically exaggerated quips based on this observation: I figure your odds of winning the lottery are the same, whether you …

The Floggings Will Continue Until Morale Improves

Naval Officer? Voltaire? William Pitt Lennox? Herb Caen? Howard Jacobs? Norman R. Augustine? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: When an organization encounters difficulties, and its members experience low morale, it is counterproductive to enforce harsh discipline. This notion can be captured with the following sarcastic remark: The beatings will continue until morale improves. Close variants of …

Denial Is Not a River in Egypt

Florence Kerns? Ray Hallinan? Herb Caen? Pauline Tymon? Larry Pickard? David Crosby? Joe Bob Briggs? Al Franken? Stuart Smalley? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The Saturday Night Live television program once featured skits with a character named Stuart Smalley who was played by the comedian and former senator Al Franken. Smalley was enamored with self-help programs …

The Fable of the Lion and the Gazelle

Thomas Friedman? Dan Montano? Arthur M. Blank? Sue Tabor? Herb Caen? Christopher McDougall? Roger Bannister? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator:  Last year I saw a motivational poster with a portrait of a lion. The text was a fable about lions and gazelles, and the title was something like the “The Key to Survival.” Paraphrasing: To survive …