Category Archives: Herb Caen

Denial Is Not a River in Egypt

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Ray Hallinan? Herb Caen? David Crosby? Joe Bob Briggs? Al Franken? Stuart Smalley? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: The Saturday Night Live television program once featured skits with a character named Stuart Smalley who was played by the comedian and now senator Al Franken. Smalley was enamored with self-help programs and often used the following catch phrase:

Denial is not a river in Egypt.

I have also heard a very similar phrase credited to Mark Twain:

Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.

Could you explore the origin of this quotation?

Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Mark Twain used this expression. In 1936 a version of this pun-based joke was described by a syndicated newspaper columnist who was responding to a popular song. This citation was located by the extraordinary etymologist Barry Popik [ORSG]:

There is a goofy song going the rounds. The radio seems full of it. It prompts this first paragraph. Excuse it, please. What is denial? De Nile, teacher, is a river in Egypt. That was a terrible boner. You ought to know better than that.

In 1960 another instance of the quip appeared in Boys’ Life magazine. The periodical used the term “Daffynishion” to refer to definitions incorporating word play [BLRH]:

Daffynishion: Denial—A river in Egypt.—Ray Hallinan, Seattle 66, Wash.

These early examples did not include the negation which is part of most modern versions. In 1986 a version of the joke was published by the popular columnist Herb Caen in the San Francisco Chronicle. The words appeared anonymously as a witty response [SFHC]:

Sighted by Ivan Cutler at Kent’s Deli at Ninth and Mish’: a sign on the cash register reading, “Tipping Is Not a City in China.” The sequel is a nearby graffito: “And Denial Is Not a River in Egypt.”

Al Franken, in the persona of Stuart Smalley, did use this saying, but his satirical character was introduced to the television audience in 1991. Franken was employing a phrase that was already in circulation in the domain of self-help and addiction counseling.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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The Fable of the Lion and the Gazelle

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Thomas Friedman? Dan Montano? Arthur M. Blank? Sue Tabor? Herb Caen? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator:  Last year I saw a motivational poster with a portrait of a lion. The text was a fable about lions and gazelles, and the title was something like the “The Key to Survival.” Paraphrasing: To survive the lion must catch the gazelle and the gazelle must outrun the lion. Do you recognize this saying, and do you know who created it?

Quote Investigator: Thomas Friedman helped to popularize the proverb about the lion and the gazelle by including it in his 2005 bestseller “The World is Flat” [TFLG]. He said that a sign written in Mandarin on the factory floor of an auto parts manufacturer in China recounted the tale. Friedman labeled the passage an “African proverb” and did not attempt to determine its origin. The quotation was disseminated via multiple avenues including his book and a motivational poster with the title “The Essence of Survival” that reprinted the text.

The earliest instance located by QI appeared in the Economist magazine in 1985 in an article titled “Lions or gazelles?” where the words were credited to a securities analyst named Dan Montano [DMLG]:

Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn’t matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle: when the sun comes up, you’d better be running.

Stockbrokers and bankers at a recent London conference on financial technology* laughed appreciatively at this sally from Mr. Dan Montano of Montano Securities, an American equities dealer. They chuckled, perhaps, a touch indulgently at predictable American excess.

* The Stock Exchange: Deregulation and New Technology: Oyez International Business Communications. London June 5th and 6th.

Montano may have constructed this proverb himself, or he may have relayed words that he heard or read elsewhere. The Economist gave no other ascription. Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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