Quote Investigator® – Page 180

Quote Origin: Don’t Tax You. Don’t Tax Me. Tax That Fellow Behind the Tree

Russell B. Long? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: It’s tax time again in the U.S., and I recently heard a humorous rhyming verse on this topic:

Don’t tax you. Don’t tax me. Tax the guy behind the tree.

Do you know who originally said this?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest close match for this verse located by QI appeared in a “Money” magazine article in July 1973 titled “Congress Tackles the Income Tax”. The words were credited to Russell B. Long who was a legislator from Louisiana:¹

“Most people have the same philosophy about taxes,” says Senator Russell B. Long, who has heard all the variations during seven years as chairman of the Senate Finance Committee, which handles tax legislation. Long puts that universal theme to verse:

Don’t tax you,
Don’t tax me,
Tax that fellow behind the tree.

This is the earliest citation for the full tripartite expression located by QI; however, other versions were in circulation by the 1930s, and the expression evolved over a period of decades.

In March 1932 “Collier’s Weekly” ran an article titled “Tax Everyone But Me” which included an instance starting with “Congress! Congress! Don’t tax me” instead of the sing-song: “Don’t tax you. Don’t tax me”. Boldface has been added to excerpts:²

At the end of the year, and again at the opening of 1932, the hotel rooms and lobbies of Washington were crowded and swarming with citizens who had come to play, in paraphrased adult form, an old game of their childhood:

Congress! Congress! Don’t tax me,
Tax that fellow behind the tree.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Writers Are Just Schmucks with Underwoods

Jack L. Warner? Bill Davidson? Samuel Goldwyn? Louis B. Mayer? Harry Cohn? Apocryphal?

Insult: Schmuck? Schlep? Schnook?

Question for Quote Investigator: The attitude of Hollywood producers toward writers has been epitomized by the following callous remark:

A writer is a schmuck with an Underwood.

The Underwood Typewriter Company manufactured the best writing implements when the statement was made. Here is another version I’ve seen:

Writers are just schmucks with typewriters.

These words have been attributed to Jack Warner, Samuel Goldwyn, and Harry Cohn. Would you please examine this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence located by QI appeared in 1961. Oddly, two different versions were given by a journalist named Bill Davidson in that year. The book “The Real and the Unreal” recounted Davidson’s extensive experiences in Hollywood and included the following passage. Boldface has been added:¹

One of the Warner brothers, for example, used to call all writers—even William Faulkner, who was once under his command—“schmucks with typewriters” (schmuck is a derisive Yiddish expression for a bumpkin, an idiot). He used to make all his writers punch a time clock as they entered and left the studio…

While Faulkner was crafting screenplays he was employed by the powerful studio chief Jack Warner. Hence, Davidson was probably attributing the comment to Jack Warner who continued as an influential figure in the film business into the 1960s. This initial instance referred to “typewriters” instead of the particular brand “Underwood”.

In October 1961 Davidson wrote an article in “Show: The Magazine of the Arts”, and the content overlapped with material in his book. In the following excerpt the quotation incorporated the Yiddish term “schlep” instead of “schmuck”:²

There are several ways of getting hired in Hollywood. The first, and most difficult, is to have talent. The talented are considered untrustworthy interlopers. One of the Warner brothers, for example, used to call all writers—even William Faulkner, who was once under his command—“schleps with typewriters” (schlep is a derisive Yiddish expression for a bumpkin, an idiot).

It is unclear why Bill Davidson presented two different quotations, and the inconsistency reduces the credibility of the ascription. Perhaps Davidson had collected conflicting reports. Etymologically “schmuck” can be traced to the Yiddish term for phallus, and it was considered vulgar by some speakers. This taboo association might have provided a motivation for replacing one term with another.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: When in Doubt Have a Man Come Through a Door with a Gun in His Hand

Raymond Chandler? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The novelist Raymond Chandler was famous for his literary crime fiction. He once discussed the techniques he employed to craft his hardboiled fiction and supposedly offered advice similar to the following:

If your plot is flagging, have a man come in with a gun.
When stumped, have a man come through a door with a gun.

Did Chandler really give this counsel?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In April 1950 Raymond Chandler published an essay titled “The Simple Art of Murder” in a magazine called the “Saturday Review of Literature”, and he reflected on his background as an author in pulp magazines of the 1920s and 1930s. The tales about police officers, journalists, and detectives sometimes lacked realism Chandler said because they occurred during a compressed time-frame and involved an artificially close-knit group of people. Here is an excerpt with boldface added:¹

This was inevitable because the demand was for constant action and if you stopped to think you were lost. When in doubt have a man come through a door with a gun in his hand. This could get to be pretty silly but somehow it didn’t seem to matter. A writer who is afraid to over-reach himself is as useless as a general who is afraid to be wrong.

As I look back on my own stories it would be absurd if I did not wish they had been better. But if they had been much better they would not have been published.

So Chandler did write a remark of this type, but he was not presenting it as advice. The weapon flaunting tactic was an occasional expedient he resorted to while writing for the pulps.

There is some confusion surrounding the citation for this statement because Chandler wrote another more widely known essay with the same title several years earlier. In December 1944 “The Atlantic Monthly” published “The Simple Art of Murder”; however, that piece did not contain the quotation.²

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: It Is the Responsibility of Every Human Being To Aspire To Do Something Worthwhile

Albert Einstein? Armand Hammer? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: A hospital in Rhode Island has a display in the main lobby listing the names of generous donors. The following quotation attributed to Albert Einstein is also printed on the display:

It is the responsibility of every human being to aspire to do something worthwhile, to make this world a better place than the one he found.

I researched this statement because I wished to know what prompted Einstein to deliver this encouragement. Oddly, I was unable to find any direct evidence that he said or wrote these words. Is this Einstein’s instruction?

Reply from Quote Investigator: No. This statement was made by the businessman and philanthropist Armand Hammer and not by Albert Einstein.

In December 1988 “Life” magazine published a cover story called “The Big Picture: The Meaning of Life” which compiled comments from a variety of “philosophers, pundits and plain folk” who pondered “what it’s all about”. The confusion about the source of the quotation stems from the entry listed for Hammer excerpted here:¹

Industrialist/physician ARMAND HAMMER

The first thing I look at each morning is a picture of Albert Einstein I keep on the table right beside my bed. The personal inscription reads: “A person first starts to live when he can live outside of himself.” In other words, when he can have as much regard for his fellow man as he does for himself. I believe we are here to do good. It is the responsibility of every human being to aspire to do something worthwhile, to make this world a better place than the one he found.

Only the short inscription sentence enclosed in quotation marks was ascribed to Einstein. The passage after the quoted words should be credited to Hammer. Thus, the expression under investigation was attributed to Hammer in the pages of “Life”.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: To Cut Down a Tree in Five Minutes Spend Three Minutes Sharpening Your Axe

Abraham Lincoln? W. H. Alexander? Wood Cutter? Lumberjack? Woodsman? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Rigorous preparation is the key to success for many endeavors. There is a popular saying attributed to Abraham Lincoln about planning and executing tasks. Here are three versions:

If I had four hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend the first two hours sharpening the axe

Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.

If I had 8 hours to chop down a tree, I would spend 6 of those hours sharpening my axe.

I thought trees usually required considerably less time to chop down. Also, the wide variation in the number of hours does not inspire confidence in the accuracy of these expressions. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Abraham Lincoln who died in 1865 made a remark of this type.

The earliest match known to QI occurred in a 1944 speech by Reverend W. H. Alexander who was the pastor of the First Christian Church of Oklahoma City. Alexander was discussing the importance of preparation. He ascribed the saying to an anonymous lumberjack. In addition, the cutting task was measured in minutes and not hours. Boldface has been added to excerpts by QI:¹

On preparation he urged his hearers to study and prepare themselves, relating the instance of the lumberjack who said that if his life depended upon his ability to cut down a tree in five minutes he would spend three minutes sharpening his axe.

The first ascription to Lincoln found by QI was printed in 1960. The details are given further below. This 1960 citation also used minutes to measure time, and QI believes that instances using hours evolved from the sayings based on shorter time periods.

This exploration was performed with the help of researchers Barry Popik, Peter Reitan, and Bonnie Taylor-Blake.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: A Person Has Two Reasons for Doing Anything: A Good Reason and the Real Reason

John Pierpont Morgan? Theodore Roosevelt? Mrs. Walter B. Helm? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: There is a wonderful quotation about the true motivations that guide the actions of people. I have seen a few different versions:

A person usually has two reasons for doing something: a good reason and the real reason.

A man always has two reasons for what he does—a good one, and the real one.

A man always has two reasons for doing anything: a good reason and the real reason.

The good reason provides an explanation for others, and the real reason produces the strongest impetus. This adage has been attributed to financier John Pierpont Morgan, President Teddy Roosevelt, and influential essayist Thomas Carlyle. I hope this query gives you a reason to explore this saying.

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1930 the memoir “Roosevelt: The Story of a Friendship” by Owen Wister was published. Wister wrote about his long friendship with Theodore Roosevelt, and he included a quotation that he ascribed to the prominent banker John Pierpont Morgan:¹

Pierpont Morgan once said: “A man always has two reasons for what he does—a good one, and the real one.”

This is the earliest known linkage of the saying to Morgan who died in 1913, and it was also listed in the key reference “The Yale Book of Quotations”.²

However, versions of the saying were in circulation long before this date, and it may have originated in France. Details are given below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: That Is Part of the Beauty of All Literature. You Discover that Your Longings Are Universal Longings

F. Scott Fitzgerald? Sheilah Graham? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Recently, on the blog of a teacher I saw a quotation about the humanities that was attributed to one of the best American writers of the previous century. It began:

That is part of the beauty of all literature. You discover that your longings are universal longings…

Are these the words of F. Scott Fitzgerald who famously penned “The Great Gatsby”? I have not found this quotation in his writings, and it is not currently listed on the Wikiquote page for Fitzgerald.

Reply from Quote Investigator: Near the end of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s tragically brief 44 years on Earth he met the Hollywood journalist Sheilah Graham and they began a tumultuous affair. Fitzgerald enjoyed sharing poems with Graham such as “Ode on a Grecian Urn” by John Keats and “To His Coy Mistress” by Andrew Marvell. Graham was filled with wonder at the depiction of love in these works of the distant past. Fitzgerald responded:¹

“Sheilo,” said Scott. “That is part of the beauty of all literature. You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you’re not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong.”

The above episode was recounted in the best-selling 1958 memoir by Graham titled “Beloved Infidel: The Education of a Woman”. Graham confessed to Fitzgerald that she had not been candid with others about her true background. In childhood she had been placed in an orphanage, and her formal schooling had halted at the eighth grade. She was embarrassed by the “tremendous gaps” in her knowledge. Fitzgerald happily agreed to tutor her:²

For Scott treated his teaching of me—which was finally to grow into a project beyond anything either of us anticipated—as a challenge as exciting as screen writing. He made out careful lists of books and gave me daily reading schedules.

Fitzgerald wrote lengthy notes in the margins of the texts he gave to Graham. The couple discussed the readings extensively, and he even quizzed her. The affair ended after a few short years in 1940 with the death of Fitzgerald from a heart attack.

In 1959 “Beloved Infidel” was made into a film starring Gregory Peck and Deborah Kerr. In subsequent years Graham’s gossip column emerged as the most powerful and long-lived in Hollywood.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Don’t Just Do Something; Stand There

Elvis Presley? Dwight D. Eisenhower? The White Rabbit? Clint Eastwood? Martin Gabel? Adlai Stevenson? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Some humorous quotations are created by cleverly transforming prosaic expressions. Most people are familiar with the exhortation:

Don’t just stand there, do something.

However, occasionally inaction is preferable, and the following rearranged sentence has been employed:

Don’t just do something, stand there.

I have seen these words attributed to Dwight D. Eisenhower, Clint Eastwood, and Lewis Carroll’s White Rabbit. Any idea who should be credited?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence located by QI was printed in the popular syndicated gossip column of Leonard Lyons in 1945. The phrase was used by an actor and producer named Martin Gabel:¹

At the first rehearsal of Irwin Shaw’s play, “The Assassin,” Producer Martin Gabel noticed a young actress gesticulating wildly instead of remaining motionless. Gabel shouted: “Don’t just do something; stand there.”

This quip has been used by many people over the years including politician Adlai Stevenson and Hollywood star Clint Eastwood.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Words and Pictures Are Yin and Yang

Theodor Seuss Geisel? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The enormous success of Theodor Geisel, i.e., Dr. Seuss was due to his extraordinary ability to combine vibrant storytelling with creative illustrations. The following perceptive statement is attributed to him:

Words and pictures are yin and yang. Married, they produce a progeny more interesting than either parent.

I would like to use this quotation in an article, but I have been unable to trace it. Would you please help?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Theodor Seuss Geisel attended Dartmouth and was on the staff of the school humor magazine “Jack O’ Lantern”. Some of his early writings and illustrations were published in that magazine, and the experience was invigorating and formative.

In 1976 the “Dartmouth Alumni Magazine” published an interview with Seuss under the title “Words and Pictures Married: The Beginnings of Dr. Seuss: A Conversation with Theodor S. Geisel”. The interviewer asked him about his pivotal junior year as an undergraduate. Boldface has been added to excerpts:¹

This was the year I discovered the excitement of ‘marrying’ words to pictures. I began to get it through my skull that words and pictures were Yin and Yang. I began thinking that words and pictures, married, might possibly produce a progeny more interesting than either parent.

It took me almost a quarter of a century to find the proper way to get my words and pictures married. At Dartmouth I couldn’t even get them engaged.

QI believes that the modern version of the quotation was based on the remark made by Seuss listed above. However, the phrasing has been simplified and compressed over time. This type of alteration is commonplace in the domain of quotations.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Written Without Fear and Without Research

Dorothy Parker? Carl L. Becker? Thomas Reed Powell? Charles A. Beard? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The famous wit Dorothy Parker wrote book reviews containing memorable zingers. When she examined a scientific volume she reportedly wrote the following:

This work was written without fear and without research.

I have not been able to determine when she wrote this. Nor have I figured out the title of the excoriated book. Would you be willing to help?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1944 the quotation and anecdote collector Bennett Cerf published “Try and Stop Me” which included a section dedicated to the sayings of Dorothy Parker. Cerf presented the following instance of the quip:¹

She polished off one scientific volume with the dictum, “It was written without fear and without research.”

QI has been unable to locate evidence of a linkage to Parker before this date. Also, QI has not found the joke directly in a review written by Parker. Interestingly, the expression was in circulation for decades before Cerf’s ascription.

The “Annual Report of the American Historical Association for the Year 1912” included an article by Carl L. Becker who was at that time a Professor of History at the University of Kansas. Becker reviewed several history texts and singled out one work for harshly comical analysis. Boldface has been added to excerpts:²

The great books, however, are not the only ones that enlist the attention of the critical reviewer. It sometimes happens that a slight book is significant for what it points to. I have in mind, for example, the little volume of Mr. A. M. Simons entitled “Social Forces in American History;” not perhaps a very wise performance; written, it must be confessed, without fear and without research; written nevertheless with profound conviction, and significant because it is representative of what probably passes for history among militant socialists, but significant above all because in the next 50 years many histories of the United States, and better ones than this, will doubtless be written from the same point of view.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.