Quote Origin: If You Don’t Stand for Something, You’ll Fall for Anything

Alexander Hamilton? Gordon A. Eadie? Irene Dunne? Peter Marshall? Theodore DeVries? William Sloane Coffin Jr.? Alex Hamilton? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: There is a popular exhortative statement that employs the contrasting words “stand” and “fall”. Here are three versions:

(1) If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.
(2) Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.
(3) When you stand for nothing, you fall for everything.

This adage is attributed to Alexander Hamilton, Peter Marshall, and others. Could you explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: An interesting precursor for the saying appeared in a Methodist church announcement in an Iowa newspaper from 1926.1 The word order and meaning were distinct, but the keywords were the same. In 1927 the same precursor was printed as a “Sermonogram” in an Ohio newspaper:2

It is easier to fall for anything than to stand for something.

Thanks to Andrew Steinberg for locating and sharing these nascent citations.

The earliest evidence of close match known to QI was published in the January 1945 issue of a journal called “Mental Hygiene”. At the time of publication World War II was still being fought. The adage appeared in an article by the medical doctor Gordon A. Eadie titled “The Over-All Mental-Health Needs of the Industrial Plant, with Special Reference to War Veterans”. Boldface has been added to excerpts:3

We are trying to show him not only what we are fighting against, but what we are fighting for. So many of these boys have only a very hazy idea of the real issues of the war. About all they see is “going back to the good old days.” This is a dangerous state. If they don’t stand for something, they will fall for anything. They need to realize that we are fighting two wars—the war of arms and the war of ideas—that other war of which the war of arms is one phase.

The important reference work “The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs” from Yale University Press has an entry for this adage and points to the same journal and year for its earliest citation.4

Although the saying was employed by Gordon A. Eadie it is not clear whether he crafted it. A few months later the adage was spoken by the popular film actress Irene Dunne during a radio broadcast as indicated below. QI believes that it is reasonable to categorize this expression as an anonymous modern proverb.

The common attribution to the eighteenth-century statesman Alexander Hamilton was probably based on a mistaken understanding of a relatively modern citation. A different man named Alex Hamilton who was a British broadcaster used the saying in 1978. Details are given further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: Everyone Is Necessarily the Hero of His Own Life Story

John Barth? Mary McCarthy? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: I am trying to locate a statement made by the prominent metafictionalist author John Barth. The quotation was similar to the following:

Everyone is the hero of his own life story.

Do you know where this appeared?

Reply from Quote Investigator: John Barth did scribe a closely matching sentence in a short story titled “The Remobilization of Jacob Horner” published in Esquire magazine in 1958. The central character named Jacob Horner was a graduate student at Johns Hopkins University who suffered from bouts of paralysis caused by a malady he called “cosmopsis”. On occasion Horner experienced a disorienting cosmic viewpoint which seemed to render his actions purposeless, and he became temporarily immobile.

A physician that Horner met serendipitously had developed a variety of therapies to help individuals afflicted with psychologically induced paralysis. The doctor explained “Mythotherapy” with the following introductory words. Bold face has been added:1

“In life,” he said, “there are no essentially major or minor characters. To that extent, all fiction and biography, and most historiography, is a lie. Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story.

The physician asserted that Horner’s paralysis occurred because he no longer perceived himself as a major or minor character within his own life story. To prevent this paralysis Horner must learn to assume a sharply defined mask or role and then dramatize the situation within which he was embedded.

Precursors of the quotation under examination were written in the 1800s as shown below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: We Fall Into Mutually Satisfying Weirdness and Call It Love

Dr. Seuss? Theodor Geisel? Robert Fulghum? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: I hope you will be able to trace a quotation for Valentine’s Day. The statement is usually attributed to Theodor Geisel who is better known as Dr. Seuss, and it begins as follows:

We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird…

I have been unable to find this in any of the books written by Dr. Seuss. Did he really say it?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Probably not. There is no substantive evidence that Theodor Geisel who died in 1991 spoke or wrote this expression.

The quotation should be credited to the minister, painter, and top-selling author Robert Fulghum who is best known for the collection of essays “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten”. However, this quote appeared in another 1997 book “True Love: Stories Told To and By Robert Fulghum” in a section called “Perspective”. The volume presented a variety of stories about love, and after recounting one eccentric amorous escapade Fulghum commented:

That’s weird. That’s really weird.
I would be surprised if you didn’t think that at least a couple of times while reading these stories. I did.

Yet, Fulghum adapted a stance of acceptance and asserted the universality of weirdness. Boldface has been added to excerpts:1

You want my opinion? We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love—true love.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: I Feel that I Am Making Daily Progress

Pablo Casals? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Pablo Casals was a brilliant cellist, and I love a remark that he reportedly made when he was in his eighties or nineties. He continued to practice intensely with his cello in those golden years, and when he was asked why he was so diligent he replied with one of these statements:

I think I’m making progress.
I think I see some improvement.

Is one of these remarks accurate?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is evidence that Pablo Casals did make a comment of this type more than once. The earliest instance located by QI was published in the “New York Times” in 1946. Boldface has been added to excerpts:1

When the Germans were driven off French territory in 1944, Casals wrote me in one of his first letters after the long enforced silence of the occupation:

“Now that the enemy has been forced to leave, I have resumed my practicing and you will be pleased to know that I feel that I am making daily progress.”

This striving for “daily progress” reflects his modest approach to his art and is the key to the secret of why “Casals is ageless.”

The letter from Casals was written to Maurice Eisenberg, the author of the “New York Times” article. Casals was born in December 1876, so for most of the year 1944 he was 67 years old.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: Rap Is Black America’s TV Station

Chuck D? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Perhaps you can help locate a quotation attributed to the rapper Chuck D of the group Public Enemy. I do not know the exact wording, but the gist was the following:

Rap music is the CNN for black people.

He apparently said this during an interview in the late 1980s, but I haven’t been able to pin it down.

Reply from Quote Investigator: In September 1988 SPIN magazine published an interview with the prominent rapper Chuck D (Carlton Ridenhour), and he employed a version of this saying. Boldface has been added to excerpts:1

Rap serves as the communication that they don’t get for themselves to make them feel good about themselves. Rap is black America’s TV station. It gives a whole perspective of what exists and what black life is about.

The citation above was the earliest evidence located by QI and CNN was not mentioned in the expression. In July 1989 Chuck D spoke at a festival in Indiana about the power and popularity of rap music. His words were reported in the Philadelphia Inquirer of Pennsylvania. He used the phrase “headline news” which was the name of the primary channel for CNN news:2

Rap performer Chuck D. of Public Enemy says rappers are idolized by youths because they tell it like it is. “We’re almost like headline news,” he said. “Rap music is the invisible TV station that black America never had. . . . Public Enemy and rap music are dispatchers of information.” All this was said Sunday at the Indiana Black Expo in Indianapolis, at which dozens gathered to discuss rap music.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: There Are Two Classes of People in the World; Those Who Divide People into Two Classes and Those Who Do Not

Neil deGrasse Tyson? Robert Benchley? Kenneth Boulding? Ross F. Papprill? Groucho Marx? Jeremy Bentham? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: I enjoy humor based on clever self-referential statements, and a great example is the following:

There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who divide everybody into two kinds of people, and those who don’t.

The version of the joke given above appeared in a tweet by the astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson.1

Do you know who originated this quip?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest instance of this joke located by QI was published in “Vanity Fair” magazine in February 1920. The humorist and actor Robert Benchley wrote “an extremely literary review” of an unlikely book, a massive tome with densely printed type: The New York City Telephone Directory. Benchley was unhappy with the “plot” and said, “It lacks coherence. It lacks stability.” His article included the following memorable remark. Boldface has been added to excerpts:2

There may be said to be two classes of people in the world; those who constantly divide the people of the world into two classes, and those who do not. Both classes are extremely unpleasant to meet socially, leaving practically no one in the world whom one cares very much to know.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: Most Conversations Are Simply Monologues Delivered in the Presence of a Witness

Mark Twain? Margaret Millar? Elizabeth P. O’Connor? Rebecca West? Leo Buscaglia? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The following entertaining remark is often attributed to Mark Twain:

Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of witnesses.

I have also seen these words ascribed to the award-winning mystery writer Margaret Millar. Could you determine who should be credited?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Mark Twain wrote or spoke the statement above. The phrase should be credited to Margaret Millar although the original wording was slightly different because it used the singular word “witness”. In the 1942 novel “The Weak-Eyed Bat” Millar wrote the following exchange. Boldface has been added to excerpts:1

“As a matter of fact, have you never noticed that most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness?”

“No,” Jakes said.

“Well, listen next time you hear a couple of women talking. They’ll each have a list of likes and dislikes that they intend to reel off. Now wouldn’t it be much simpler for Mrs. Smith to sit in front of a mirror and read her list without competition…”

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: Dance Like Nobody’s Watching

Mark Twain? Satchel Paige? William Purkey? Susanna Clark? Richard Leigh? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The following words are attributed to a variety of people including Mark Twain, Satchel Paige, and William Purkey:

Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you’ve never been hurt.
Dance like nobody’s watching,
and live like it’s heaven on earth.

The ordering of the lines varies, and sometimes other statements are inserted. Could you explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1987 the songwriters Susanna Clark and Richard Leigh composed “Come from the Heart” which included the following lyrics:

You’ve got to sing like you don’t need the money
Love like you’ll never get hurt
You’ve got to dance like nobody’s watchin’
It’s gotta come from the heart if you want it to work.

QI believes that the other sets of expressions containing the statement “dance like nobody’s watching” were derived from these lyrics. There is no substantive support for ascriptions to Mark Twain or Satchel Paige. Additional information about the attribution to William Purkey is given further below. The important reference work “The Yale Book of Quotations” has an entry ascribing the lyrics to Clark and Leigh.1

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: Fanatic: One Who Can’t Change His Mind and Won’t Change the Subject

Winston Churchill? Evan Esar? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The following humorous definition is often attributed to the statesman Winston Churchill:

A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.

Could you explore the accuracy of this ascription?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is some evidence that Winston Churchill employed this phrase circa 1952 because it is listed in an important compilation of quotations created by Churchill’s friend Kay Halle who was a journalist. Details for this citation are given further below.

Yet, the first evidence of this saying located by QI was printed nearly a decade earlier in the 1943 volume “Esar’s Comic Dictionary” by Evan Esar. Entries in this collection were formatted as definitions; for example, here were two humorous explications listed for the word “fanatic”:1

fanatic.
A person who redoubles his efforts after having forgotten his aims.
One who can’t change his opinion and won’t change the subject.

No attribution was provided by Esar, and the wording was slightly different in this instance: “opinion” was used instead of “mind”.

In 1945 the quip appeared in a column titled “Dizzy Daffynitions” by Paul H. Gilbert published in the “Oakland Tribune” of Oakland, California:2

FANATIC: One who can’t change his opinion and won’t change the subject.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: The Covers of This Book Are Too Far Apart

Ambrose Bierce? Alan Le May? Jack Benny? Mark Twain? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The increasing popularity of ebooks is threatening to make one of my favorite quotations obsolete. The wonderful humorist Ambrose Bierce was asked to evaluate a lengthy soporific tome and according to legend he handed in a devastating and hilarious one-line review:

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Did Bierce really write this, and what was the name of the book being evaluated?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence located by QI of a version of this quip was printed in 1899. The first citation connecting the joke to Ambrose Bierce was published more than two decades later in 1923. Details for this cite are presented further below. Bierce disappeared in 1913 and his final fate is still mysterious. The linkage of the saying to Bierce is weak because the 1923 claim appeared so late.

In September 1899 the “Logansport Pharos” of Indiana printed a short humor item in which two stock figures named “Author” and “Friend” exchanged remarks. Boldface has been added to excerpts:1

An Honest Criticism.

Author—Now I want your honest opinion. Tell me what faults you see in my book.
Friend—Well, for one thing, I think the covers are too far apart.—New York Journal.

The paper listed an acknowledgement to a New York periodical, but it did not provide an attribution. The same comical dialog was published in other newspapers in 1899 such as the “North Adams Transcript” of Massachusetts,2 the “Ann Arbor Daily Argus” of Michigan,3 the “Biloxi Daily Herald” of Mississippi,4 and the “Duluth Evening Herald” of Minnesota which acknowledged the “San Francisco Examiner” of California.5

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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