Why Don’t You Carry a Wrist Watch Like Everyone Else?

Herbert Beerbohm Tree?  Frederick Henry Townsend? George du Maurier? Yogi Berra? Mutt and Jeff? An inebriate? A woman carrying packages?

Dear Quote Investigator: I have read several instances of a popular comical anecdote. Two different versions featured baseball Hall-of-Famer Yogi Berra. One night he was presented with a grandfather clock at a banquet dinner. Yogi was struggling to carry the clock down the street when a drunken individual bumped into him.

“Excuse me,” said Yogi.
The drunk looked at him unhappily and demanded, “Why don’t you carry a wrist watch like everybody else?”

In another version of the story Yogi was inebriated. He collided with a person carrying a large clock, and Yogi delivered the final humorous line.

In a third version of the tale a famous actor and theater manager in England was the protagonist. Herbert Beerbohm Tree observed a man staggering down the street under the weight of a grandfather clock and remarked: “My poor fellow, why not carry a watch?”

Can you clarify the origin of this anecdote?

Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence of this basic jest known to QI appeared in a cartoon drawn by Frederick Henry Townsend in the London humor magazine Punch in March 1907. Here is the image and the caption:[ref] 1907 March 27, Punch or The London Charivari, [Cartoon by F. H. Townsend with caption: ‘Funny Man. “Pardon Me…”‘], Page 223, Published at the Punch Office, London. (Google Books full view) link [/ref]

1907PunchClock

Funny Man. “Pardon me, Sir, but wouldn’t you find it more convenient to carry a watch?”

Top quotation expert and BBC broadcaster Nigel Rees included this key citation in his compilation “Cassell’s Humorous Quotations”.[ref] 2001, Cassell’s Humorous Quotations, Compiled by Nigel Rees, Section: Advice, Quote Page 24, [Cassell, London], Sterling Pub. Co., New York. (Verified on paper) [/ref] The joke was noticed across the ocean, and the cartoon was reprinted in The Washington Post in April [ref] 1907 April 14, Washington Post, [Reprint of cartoon from Punch magazine], Quote Page 12 (NArch Page 42), Washington, D. C. (NewspaperArchive) [/ref] and a Pennsylvanian newspaper in October.[ref] 1907 October 7, The Altoona Mirror, [Reprint of cartoon from Punch magazine], Quote Page 9, Altoona, Pennsylvania. (NewspaperArchive) [/ref]

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Let Your Memory Be Your Travel Bag

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: On a website dedicated to travel I saw a quotation credited to the famous Soviet dissident Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn:

Own only what you can carry with you; know language, know countries, know people. Let your memory be your travel bag.

Is this attribution accurate? A travel tip from Solzhenitsyn seems incongruous.

Quote Investigator: Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn did write this in his most famous work “The Gulag Archipelago”. He was discussing his experiences as a prisoner in the forced labor camp system of the former Soviet Union. Any of your belongings could be taken from you forcibly or stealthily by a guard or a fellow prisoner at any time.

If you were lucky enough to be given a two-day supply of bread and sugar Solzhenitsyn recommended eating it in one sitting. Then no one could steal it from you, and you would be released from worrying about it. The context of the quotation was the hardship of imprisonment:[ref] 1974, The Gulag Archipelago, 1918-1956: An Experiment in Literary Investigation by Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn, Volume I-II,  (Translated from the Russian by Thomas P. Whitney), Quote Page 516 and 517, Publisher: Harper & Row, New York. (Verified on paper) [/ref]

Own only what you can always carry with you: know languages, know countries, know people. Let your memory be your travel bag. Use your memory! Use your memory! It is those bitter seeds alone which might sprout and grow someday.

Look around you—there are people around you. Maybe you will remember one of them all your life and later eat your heart out because you didn’t make use of the opportunity to ask him questions. And the less you talk, the more you’ll hear. Thin strands of human lives stretch from island to island of the Archipelago.

In conclusion, the words were written by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. The quote was not originally intended to be light-hearted advice about the joys of travel. Solzhenitsyn was offering advice to compatriots for physical and mental survival.

(Thanks to Kate McClare whose inquiry about this quotation provided the impetus for QI to construct this question.)

Imagination Is More Important Than Knowledge

Albert Einstein? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Many websites credit Albert Einstein with this statement:

Imagination is more important than knowledge.

I am skeptical. Are these the words of Einstein?

Quote Investigator: This remark apparently was made by Einstein during an interview that was published in “The Saturday Evening Post” in 1929. Here is an excerpt showing the context of his comment. The first paragraph below records Einstein’s words; the next sentence is the interviewer speaking; the final paragraph is Einstein speaking again. Boldface has been added to the following passage and some excerpts further below:[ref] 1929 October 26, The Saturday Evening Post, What Life Means to Einstein: An Interview by George Sylvester Viereck, Start Page 17, Quote Page 117, Column 1, Saturday Evening Post Society, Indianapolis, Indiana. (Verified on microfilm)[/ref]

“I believe in intuitions and inspirations. I sometimes feel that I am right. I do not know that I am. When two expeditions of scientists, financed by the Royal Academy, went forth to test my theory of relativity, I was convinced that their conclusions would tally with my hypothesis. I was not surprised when the eclipse of May 29, 1919, confirmed my intuitions. I would have been surprised if I had been wrong.”

“Then you trust more to your imagination than to your knowledge?”

“I am enough of the artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”

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I Really Didn’t Say Everything I Said

Yogi Berra? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Thanks for working to help clear up so many incorrect quotations and attributions. I have a question about a quote that might be suitable as the motto of your website. Yogi Berra supposedly said one the following Yogi-isms:

1. I really didn’t say everything I said.
2. I didn’t say everything I said.
3. I never said half the things I said.
4. Half the things I said, I never said them.
5. I never said most of the things I said.

Did Yogi say one of these statements?

Quote Investigator: In February 1986 there is good evidence that Yogi Berra did say the first statement above as recorded in a Long Island, New York newspaper:[ref] 1986 February 24, Newsday (Nassau and Suffolk Edition), “Color Yogi a Happy Guy; Now wearing Astros’ rainbow uniform, Berra’s relaxed, popular” by Steve Marcus, Section Sports, Start Page 92, Long Island, New York. (ProQuest) [/ref]

Berra was unveiled to the Southwest in the Astros’ winter caravan. “Here he was a Hall of Famer coming down to the backwoods of Texas,” publicist Rob Matwick said. “He was the most single sought-out person. He led the team in stares.”

Fans hung on Berra’s every word, hoping for a Berra-ism, many of which have been said by others but attributed to Yogi. “I really didn’t say everything I said,” Berra said, creating another original.

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Thank You for the Gift Book. I Shall Lose No Time In Reading It

Benjamin Disraeli? William Gladstone? William Makepeace Thackeray? Moses Hadas? A celebrated botanist? A Scotchman? Thomas Bailey Aldrich? Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.? Samuel Wilberforce? Max O’Rell?

Dear Quote Investigator: Aspiring authors sent numerous manuscripts to the statesman and novelist Benjamin Disraeli. Reportedly, he would send back a wittily ambiguous response:

Many thanks; I shall lose no time in reading it.

This statement might mean that Disraeli would immediately start to read the volume, or it might mean that he would never read the book. A similar response has been credited to William Makepeace Thackeray. Also, I have seen the following variant phrasing:

Your book has arrived, and I shall waste no time reading it.

Could you determine who is responsible for this type of quip?

Quote Investigator: This amusing remark has been attributed to a large and varied collection of individuals over the past 140 years including: French comedian Max O’Rell, author William Makepeace Thackeray, Bishop Samuel Wilberforce, statesman Benjamin Disraeli, and his opposition William Gladstone.

First, QI notes that the phrase can be used in a straight-forward manner without a comical overlay. For example, a letter dated September 11, 1784 from the poet William Cowper used the phrase with the assumption that the text would indeed be read quickly:[ref] 1805, The Port – Folio (1801-1827), Volume 5, Issue 45, Original Letters from Cowper to the Rev. William Unwin, Page 354, (Letter to Rev. William Unwin dated September 11, 1784), Published by H. Maxwell, Philadelphia. (ProQuest American Periodicals)[/ref]

I know that you will lose no time in reading it, but I must beg you likewise to lose none in conveying it to Johnson, that if he chuses to print it, it may go to the press immediately…

The earliest instance located by QI of an individual wielding the phrase with a humorous intent appeared in an 1871 issue of the British Quarterly Review. The quipster was identified as a botanist, but no name was given: [ref] 1871 October 1, The British Quarterly Review, Article V, Letters and Letter Writing, Start Page 392, Quote Page 411, Hodder and Stoughton, London. (Google Books full view) link [/ref]

A celebrated botanist used to return thanks somewhat in the following form:—’I have received your book, and shall lose no time in reading it.’ The unfortunate author might put his own construction on this rather ambiguous language.

In 1883 a travel book titled “There and Back; or, Three Weeks in America” printed the joke and referred to it as “the old equivoque”. The word “equivoque” meant a pun or a phrase with a double meaning:[ref] 1883, “There and Back; or, Three Weeks in America” by J. Fox Turner [John Fox Turner], Section: Preface, Quote Page vii, Simpkin, Marshall, & Co., London. (Google Books full view; Thanks to Victor Steinbok for locating this citation) link [/ref]

…they may adopt the old equivoque—”We have received your book, and shall lose no time in reading it!”

Also, in 1883 the witticism was printed in the science periodical Nature. The context was an article critical of testimonial letters which clearly indicated that the saying was being used sarcastically. The phrase was called a “well-known formula”:[ref] 1883 August 9, Nature (Weekly), A Result of our Testimonial System, Start Page 341, Quote Page 342, Column 1, Macmillan and Co., London. (Google Books full view; HathiTrust) link [/ref]

Many testimonials are framed after that well-known formula for acknowledging the receipt of pamphlets which runs as follows:—”Dear Sir,—I beg to thank you for the valuable pamphlet which you have so kindly sent me, and which I will lose no time in reading.” And I heard the other day a testimonial praised because it showed the electors whom not to elect.

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The Squeaky Wheel Gets the Grease

Josh Billings? Josh Weathersby? Cal Stewart? Ring Lardner? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Individuals who complain often receive the most attention. There is a popular analogy about squeaky wheels that I think has been incorrectly attributed to the humorist Josh Billings who was a famous lecturer in the 1800s. (Billings was the pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw.) Here are three versions of the maxim:

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.
The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
The squeaky wheel gets the oil.

Some reference works credit Josh Billings, but none of these works present a solid citation. Would you please attempt to uncover the truth about the provenance of this adage?

Quote Investigator: Some books have suggested that the maxim appeared in a poem called “The Kicker” that was supposedly composed by Josh Billings circa 1870. But the careful and scholarly reference “The Yale Book of Quotations” remarked that the existence of “The Kicker” by Billings has never been verified.[ref] 2006, The Yale Book of Quotations by Fred R. Shapiro, Section Josh Billings, Quote Page 85, Yale University Press, New Haven. (Verified on paper) [/ref] Indeed, QI believes that the attribution to Billings is unsupported.

The earliest appearance of this expression located by QI occurred in a collection of stories published in 1903. The author Cal Stewart constructed a colorful raconteur character that he called Uncle Josh Weathersby. The saying under investigation was contained in an epigraph that was ascribed to this character:[ref] 1903, Uncle Josh Weathersby’s “Punkin Centre” stories by Cal Stewart, Page 6, Regan Printing House, Chicago. (Google Books full view; also HathiTrust) link [/ref]

“I don’t believe in kickin’,
It aint apt to bring one peace;
But the wheel what squeaks the loudest
is the one what gets the grease.”
—Josh Weathersby.

The word “kickin” was a slang term that referred to complaining or causing a disturbance..

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We Are Never Alone. Not When the Night Is Darkest, the Wind Coldest

Taylor Caldwell? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Taylor Caldwell wrote several best-selling books. Two of her novels were made into popular television mini-series: “Testimony of Two Men” and “Captains and the Kings”. I found a quotation attributed to her that fits with this holiday season:

I am not alone at all, I thought. I was never alone at all. And that, of course, is the message of Christmas. We are never alone. Not when the night is darkest, the wind coldest, the word seemingly most indifferent. For this is still the time God chooses.

I do not know where this quote appeared, and when I checked Wikiquote the expression was not listed on the main page for Taylor Caldwell; instead, the words were in the “Unsourced” section. Do you think Caldwell wrote these words?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The quotation above was included in a short autobiographical tale by Taylor Caldwell that was published in “Family Circle” magazine on December 24, 1961. The story has been reprinted multiple times. In the tale Caldwell described a Christmas season during which she was divorced, jobless, and nearly moneyless. She despaired as she anticipated being forced to vacate her apartment together with her 5-year-old child.

But she succeeded in paying her rent and obtaining a new job. Part of her accomplishment and joy hinged on the positive consequences of a good deed she had performed six months earlier. In conclusion, the quote is accurate, and it appeared at the end of the story.1

Image Notes: Public domain illustration of snowflakes from “The Century Dictionary” of 1895. Image has been resized and cropped.

Acknowledgement: Thanks to A. for this request.

  1. 1996, Christmas in My Heart, Compiled and edited by Joe Wheeler, “My Christmas Miracle” by Taylor Caldwell, Start Page 209, Quote Page 214, (A note accompanying the acknowledgement of the reprint states that the story appeared in Family Circle on December 24, 1961; Family Circle has not been directly examined), Published by Guideposts, Carmel, New, York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎

The Best Way to Cheer Yourself Is to Try to Cheer Somebody Else Up

Mark Twain? Albert Bigelow Paine? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: While watching a television show recently I heard the following saying credited to Mark Twain:

The best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer somebody else up.

The writers of television series sometimes sacrifice accuracy to enable more colorful story-telling. Is this quotation really from Twain?

Quote Investigator: This quote is very close to a statement written by Mark Twain in one of his notebooks in November 1896. The first “up” is omitted, and the word “try” is included in the original quote:[ref] 1935, “Mark Twain’s Notebook” by Mark Twain, Edited by Albert Bigelow Paine, Quote Page 310, Harper & Brothers, New York. (Verified with scans)[/ref]

The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up.

After Twain died in 1910, his friend and biographer Albert Bigelow Paine became his literary executor. Paine examined a group of notebooks containing unpublished material by Twain, and he constructed a compilation of selected items.  The result was published in 1935 under the title “Mark Twain’s Notebook”. The saying was printed in this posthumous work.

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Age Is an Issue of Mind Over Matter. If You Don’t Mind, It Doesn’t Matter

Mark Twain? Jack Benny? Satchel Paige? Muhammad Ali? Unknown gerontology researcher?

Dear Quote Investigator: On a popular website recently I saw a slide show of quotations ascribed to Mark Twain that included the following:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

I thought this was said by the celebrated baseball pitcher Satchel Paige. Can you determine who should be credited?

Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Mark Twain created this witticism. For example, it is not found on TwainQuotes.com, the important website of Mark Twain quotations and resources[ref] TwainQuotes.com website edited by Barbara Schmidt. (Search performed December 17, 2012) link [/ref] nor in the large compilation “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips”.[ref] 1948, Mark Twain at Your Fingertips by Caroline Thomas Harnsberger, Cloud, Inc., Beechhurst Press, Inc., New York. (Search performed on scanned pages)[/ref]

The earliest evidence located by QI appeared in an article about aging that was published in multiple newspapers in 1968. The saying was attributed to an anonymous scientific researcher. The prefatory phrase was somewhat shorter:[ref] 1968 June 28, Statesville Record and Landmark, Facts Listed On Aging, Quote Page 7-A, Statesville, North Carolina. (NewspaperArchive)[/ref]

As one government researcher puts it: “Aging is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

The quote above was printed in a North Carolina newspaper in June. The same article and saying were printed in a paper in Schenectady, New York in July.[ref] 1968 July 11, Schenectady Gazette, Researchers Say Heredity Affects Aging, Quote Page 38, Column 3, Schenectady, New York. (Google News Archive)[/ref]

The saying was memorable enough that the excerpt above was extracted from the article and printed by itself as a freestanding filler item in a Baton Rouge, Louisiana newspaper in July.[ref] 1968 July 18, State Times (State Times Advocate), (Freestanding quote), Page 7-C, Column 3, Baton Rouge, Louisiana. (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

The adage continued to circulate and in 1970 it was ascribed to an anonymous physician in an article from the UPI news service:[ref] 1970 May 20, The Milwaukee Journal, Aging Called A Matter Of Mind Over Calendar, (UPI News), Part 2, Page 7, Column 3, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. (Google News Archive)[/ref]

“Aging is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” With these words, one physician summed up one of the factors that means better health in the later years — the attitude that one has toward growing older, chronologically.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Genius Is One Percent Inspiration, Ninety-Nine Percent Perspiration

Thomas Edison? Kate Sanborn? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Thomas Edison is credited with a famous adage about creativity and innovation:

Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration.

I found another quotation that specified a slightly different ratio of 2 percent to 98 percent. What did Edison actually say?

Quote Investigator: Edison did discuss both of the ratios given above, and he also spoke of different ingredients such as “hard work”. His popular aphorism evolved over time. Also, before Edison’s pronouncements were published there were other precursor statements in circulation. For example, in 1892 a newspaper in Massachusetts reacted to a statement by a prominent lecturer named Kate Sanborn. The newspaper indicated that sayings about the composition of genius were already being disseminated:[ref] 1892 December 4, Springfield Sunday Republican [Springfield Republican], Men Women and Affairs, Page 4, Column 4, Springfield, Massachusetts. (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

Kate Sanborn is getting lots of credit for having said that “talent is perspiration.” That idea has been expressed very often; in fact, much in the same terms. A common way of saying it is that “genius is perspiration more than inspiration.”

In 1893 Sanborn delivered a lecture in California that was reported in a Riverside newspaper. Here she suggested that genius was composed of three ingredients, but she did not give a memorable fractional breakdown:[ref] 1893 April 21, Riverside Daily Press, Miss Sanborn’s Lecture, Page 4, Column 1, Riverside, California. (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

Her subject was “What is Genius?” She quoted copiously from ancient and modern writers, giving their definitions of the word genius, and wittily added that “genius is inspiration, talent and perspiration.”

In April 1898 “The Ladies’ Home Journal” printed a remark about genius credited to Thomas Edison. The main ingredient mentioned was “hard work” and the ratio was 98 to 2. Expert Ralph Keyes listed this citation in “The Quote Verifier” reference:[ref] 1898 April, The Ladies’ Home Journal, The Anecdotal Side of Edison, Subsection: His Estimate of Genius, Start Page 7, Quote Page 8, Column 2, Curtis Publishing Company, Philadelphia. (ProQuest American Periodicals)[/ref][ref] 2006, The Quote Verifier by Ralph Keyes, Page 77 and 292, St Martin’s Griffin, New York. (Verified on paper)[/ref]

Once, when asked to give his definition of genius, Mr. Edison replied: “Two per cent. is genius and ninety-eight per cent. is hard work.” At another time, when the argument that genius was inspiration was brought before him, he said: “Bah! Genius is not inspired. Inspiration is perspiration.”

Also, in April 1898 “The Youth’s Companion” printed similar remarks from Edison that presented a ratio 98 to 2:[ref] 1898 April 21, The Youth’s Companion, Volume 72, Issue 16, Current Topics, Quote Page 194, Column 1, Perry Mason & Company, Boston, Massachusetts. (ProQuest American Periodicals)[/ref]

“Ninety-eight per cent. of genius is hard work,” says Thomas A. Edison, and he adds, “As for genius being inspired, inspiration is in most cases another word for perspiration.” As the foremost example in the world of one type of genius, Mr. Edison is an authority on the subject, and his aphorism corroborates Johnson’s often-quoted definition of genius, “the infinite capacity for taking pains.”

In May 1898 the president of a shoe company delivered a speech to high school students, and he incorporated an adage ascribed to Edison. But “hard work” was not listed as an ingredient. Instead, two constituents were given: inspiration and perspiration, and the ratio was 2 to 98:[ref] 1898 May 21, Savannah Tribune, Peace Has Its Victories: An Interesting Address to High School Boys, Delivered by Mr. J. K. Orr, Page 4, Column 2, Savannah, Georgia. (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

Even Mr. Edison is quoted as having said that genius may be divided into two parts, of which inspiration is 2 per cent and perspiration 98.

In June 1898 a version of the aphorism was published in a Montana newspaper, and it was attributed to a person who was writing about Edison instead of Edison himself:[ref] 1898 June 19, The Helena Independent, Brevities, Page 2, Column 2, Helena, Montana. (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

Speaking of the life and labors of Thomas A. Edison, a writer says that two per cent of his great discoveries and inventions can be credited to inspiration, while the other 98 per cent is due to perspiration.

At last, in 1901 the modern version of the saying with a ratio of 1 to 99 emerged in a newspaper in Idaho where it was credited to Edison. This citation was located by top-researcher Barry Popik:[ref] 1901 May 6, Idaho Daily Statesman [Idaho Statesman], Doing One’s Best, Page 4, Column 3, Boise, Idaho. (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

Genius is another name for hard work, honest work. “Genius,” says Edison “is 1 per cent inspiration and 99 per cent perspiration.” People who take pains never to do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for anything more than they do.

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