Quote Investigator® – Page 46

Quote Origin: The Factory of the Future Will Have Only Two Employees, a Man and a Dog

Warren Bennis? Fred Lamond? Jerry L. Benefield? British Post Office Engineering Union? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: A humorous and cautionary prediction states that the automated factory of the future will have only two employees: one human and one dog:

The human feeds the dog.
The dog makes sure no one touches the equipment.

This notion has been attributed to Professor of Business Administration Warren Bennis and others. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in the trade journal “Datamation” in 1978. Journalist Fred Lamond noted that the development of increasingly powerful microprocessors was facilitating new types automation. Lamond published a wry joke circulating in Britain:¹

“How many people are required to maintain a new System X electronic exchange?” runs a rather bitter joke in the British Post Office Engineering Union. Answer: “A man and a dog.” “What does the man do?” “Feed the dog.” “What does the dog do?” “Make damn sure neither the man nor anybody else gets his fingers on the equipment.”

Lamond did not provide a precise attribution. Thus, droll remark is difficult to trace because of its variability. Currently, the creator remains anonymous. Warren Bennis did employ this joke in 1988 and 1989, but he disclaimed authorship as indicated further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: It Is Classic Because of a Certain Eternal and Irrepressible Freshness

Edith Wharton? Ezra Pound? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: A classic work must be timeless, and it must also exhibit an irrepressible freshness. This notion has been attributed to the prominent U.S. novelist Edith Wharton and the well-known poet and critic Ezra Pound. Would you please help me to resolve this uncertainty?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1934 Ezra Pound published “ABC of Reading” which included the following passage. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

A classic is classic not because it conforms to certain structural rules, or fits certain definitions (of which its author had quite probably never heard). It is classic because of a certain eternal and irrepressible freshness.

QI has found no substantive evidence that Edith Wharton used this saying. She died in 1937, and she received credit by 2006.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: We Have Only the Present Moment, Sparkling Like a Star in Our Hands — and Melting Like a Snowflake

Marie Beynon Ray? Francis Bacon? Henry David Thoreau? W. Somerset Maugham? Booth Tarkington?

Question for Quote Investigator: Our life on Earth does not extend forever. A writer once used two vivid and clashing metaphors to describe this precious moment:

Sparkling like a star in our hands and melting like a snowflake

This figurative language has been attributed to English philosopher Francis Bacon and U.S. self-help author Marie Beynon Ray. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Francis Bacon penned this remark. He died in 1626, and the saying was attributed to him centuries later in 2001.

In 1952 Marie Beynon Ray published “The Best Years of Your Life” in which she discussed enjoying a full life during retirement years. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

But we are not living in eternity. We have only the present moment, sparkling like a star in our hands — and melting like a snowflake.
We’d better get started.

QI believes Marie Beynon Ray deserves credit for the saying above. Other writers have penned thematically related statements about the importance of the present moment. Here are some chronologically ordered examples.

Quote Origin: Sliding Down a Barrister

Dorothy Parker? Mae West? Alexander Woollcott? A. E. Mortimer? Mark Barron? Meyer Levin? Billy Boner? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The U.S. poet and wit Dorothy Parker has received credit for scandalous wordplay based on the following phrases:

Sliding down a banister
Sliding down a barrister

Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared within a January 1933 column published in the “Daily News” of New York City which paid teachers for comical items inadvertently penned by students:¹

The News will pay $2 for every Classroom Boner published.
A Boner is a humorous expression found in examination papers, etc., by school teachers. Boners must be original. And they must be funny.

A correspondent from Long Island supplied the following item. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:

Billy has a bad habit of sliding down the barristers.
Mrs. A. E. MORTIMER.
88-24 189th St., Hollis, L. I.

In June 1933 gossip columnist Mark Barron attributed an instance to Dorothy Parker:²

This time she doesn’t plan to drop in on London. “The last time I was in England,” she quipped, “I spent the whole time sliding down barristers.”

In 1934 critic and radio broadcaster Alexander Woollcott published the book “While Rome Burns” which included a chapter about Dorothy Parker containing a different instance of the joke:³

Then I remember her comment on one friend who had lamed herself while in London. It was Mrs. Parker who voiced the suspicion that this poor lady had injured herself while sliding down a barrister.

The above three citations are closely grouped in time; hence, the precise chronology of the wordplay is difficult to discern. Woollcott’s book chapter appeared in preliminary form in an article titled “Our Mrs. Parker” published in “Hearst’s International-Cosmopolitan” magazine in August 1933, but Woollcott did not include the quip in the article.⁴

Here are three hypotheses. One: The wordplay began as a humorous error made by a student which was relayed to the “Daily News”. Dorothy Parker heard the remark, and she employed it. Her prominence caused the quip to be reassigned to her.

Two: The wordplay appeared in the “Daily News”. Dorothy Parker never used the remark, but a columnist or agent decided to reassign it to her because she was a well-known wit. Different versions were assigned to Parker.

Three: Parker crafted the wordplay before 1933. Perhaps she used it during the heyday of the Algonquin Round Table in the 1920s. Because the quip was somewhat risqué it did not immediately appear in newspapers or magazines although it did circulate. Finally, in 1933 it emerged with an attribution to an anonymous student and to Parker.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: An Artist Is the One Thing You Can Claim To Be and Nobody Can Prove You Ain’t

Will Rogers? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The evaluation of art is subjective. The popular U.S. humorist Will Rogers once said something like:

You can call yourself an artist because nobody can prove you ain’t.

Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1926 Will Rogers published “Letters of a Self-Made Diplomat to His President” containing a collection of letters nominally addressed to U.S. President Calvin Coolidge. One letter discussed art. Rogers used the expression “Banana Oil”; the smoothness of this oil led to the metaphorical slang meaning of insincere nonsense. The term “maby” meant maybe. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

We know about 9-10ths of the stuff going on under the guise of Art is the Banana Oil. They call it Art to get to take off the clothes. When you ain’t nothing else, you are an Artist. It’s the one thing you can claim to be and nobody can prove you ain’t.

No matter how you built anything and how you painted anything, if it accidentally through lack of wars or rain happened to live a few hundreds of years, why its Art now. Maby when the Guy painted it at the time he never got another contract.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: You Think Your Pain and Your Heartbreak Are Unprecedented in the History of the World, But Then You Read

James Baldwin? Jane Howard? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Reading about other lives and cultures can replace a narrow self-involved vision with a wide open vista. The pains and afflictions of one’s own life are placed into a larger perspective when one reads about the harrowing travails of others. The prominent novelist and playwright James Baldwin once made this point. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In May 1963 journalist Jane Howard published a profile of James Baldwin in “LIFE” magazine. He spoke about his early experiences. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was Dostoevsky and Dickens who taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who ever had been alive. Only if we face these open wounds in ourselves can we understand them in other people. An artist is a sort of emotional or spiritual historian.

In 1964 James Baldwin provided a narrative describing his life for a television broadcast. “The New York Times” printed excerpts from the program. Baldwin employed a slightly different version of the quotation with “Dostoevsky and Dickens” replaced by the word “books”:²

You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: I Have Nothing To Declare Except My Genius

Oscar Wilde? Stuart Mason? Christopher Sclater Millard? Robert Ross? Elizabeth P. O’Connor? Arthur Ransome? Frank Harris? Sylvestre Dorian? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: According to legend, the famous wit Oscar Wilde delivered a comically audacious line when he first entered the United States during his lecture tour. A customs official in New York asked him if he had anything to declare, and he supposedly replied:

I have nothing to declare but my genius.

Would you please explore the provenance of this remark?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Oscar Wilde entered New York in January 1882. Yet, the earliest evidence of the quip known to QI appeared in 1910. The phrasing has varied over time. Often it has been presented from a third person perspective. Here is a summary with dates:

1910: I have nothing to declare except my genius
1912: He had nothing to declare except his genius
1912: He had nothing to declare but his genius
1913: I have nothing to declare but my genius
1917: He had nothing to declare save his genius
1917: He had nothing to declare but genius
1918: Nothing—except—my genius
1923: Only my genius
1925: Nothing but my genius
1934: I have nothing but my genius to declare

Overall, the evidence that Oscar Wilde delivered this line to a customs official in 1882 is quite weak because the earliest citation in 1910 appeared almost two decades after the supposed incident and one decade after Wilde’s death.

The remark appeared within “The Oscar Wilde Calendar” of 1910 compiled by Stuart Mason, a pseudonym for Christopher Sclater Millard. For each day of the year a quotation ascribed to Wilde was presented, and the following appeared for January 4th. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

At the New York Custom House: “I have nothing to declare except my genius.”

Millard mentioned Robert Ross in the acknowledgement section of the calendar. Ross was a close friend and literary executor of Wilde. He may have supplied the quotation to Millard:²

Many quotations are made from works little known to the general reader. Some are taken from unpublished manuscripts, others are traditional. For many of the latter the compiler is indebted to the courtesy of Mr Robert Ross.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: To Be True Music It Must Repeat the Thoughts and Aspirations of the People and the Time. My People Are Americans. My Time Is Today

George Gershwin? Bennett Cerf? Edward Jablonski? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: U.S. pianist and composer George Gershwin is known for works such as “Rhapsody in Blue” and “I Got Rhythm”. He believed that music should embody the thoughts and aspirations of a people and a time. He said his people were Americans and his time was now. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1927 George Gershwin published an essay titled “Jazz Is the Voice of the American Soul” in “Theatre Magazine”. His concluding paragraph included the following. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

I do not know what the next decade will disclose in music. No composer knows. But to be true music it must repeat the thoughts and aspirations of the people and the time. My people are Americans. My time is to-day.

Of to-morrow, and of my to-morrow, as an interpreter of American life in music, I am sure of but one thing: That the essence of future music will hold enough of the melody and harmony of to-day to reveal its origin. It will be sure to have a tincture of the derided yesterday, which has been accepted to-day, and which perhaps to-morrow will be exalted—jazz.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Green Is the Prime Color of the World, and That From Which Its Loveliness Arises

Pedro Calderón de la Barca? Craufurd Tait Ramage? Denis Florence MacCarthy? Stephanie Tourles? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Metaphorically, the deity has flung a bucket of green at our world which has brought forth its loveliness. The primary color of Earth is green because of its beautiful foliage. The Spanish dramatist and poet Pedro Calderón de la Barca wrote on this theme. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Pedro Calderón de la Barca died in 1681. A collection of his works including “La Vanda, y la Flor” (“The Scarf and the Flower”) appeared in print in 1726. The crucial quotation was spoken by a character named “Lisi” (or “Lisida”). Here is the original Spanish. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Lisi: Yo asi prosigo:
la verde, es color primera
del Mundo, y en quien consiste
su hermosura, pues se viste
de verde la Primevera:
la vista mas lisonjera
es aquel verde ornamento,
pues sin voz, y con aliento
nacen de varios colores
en cuna verde las flores,
que son estrellas del viento.

In 1853 Irish poet and translator Denis Florence MacCarthy published “Dramas of Calderon: Tragic, Comic, and Legendary” which included “The Scarf and the Flower”. MacCarthy performed a loose English translation designed to maintain rhyme and meter:²

LISIDA.
I thus proceed:
Green is the colour God doth fling
First on the naked world, a dress
Which doth increase its loveliness—
It is the colour of the spring.
The fairest sight the seasons bring
Is that green ornament that sees.
Voiceless and breathless ‘neath the trees,
The many-tinted flowers take birth
On the green cradle of the earth—
The trembling stars of every breeze.

“God” and “fling” were not present in the original Spanish text.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Time To Relax Is When You Don’t Have Time For It

Sydney J. Harris? Beulah Schacht? Sol Margoles? Evan Esar? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: A nearly paradoxical piece of advice states that the best time to relax is when you feel unable to relax because of time pressures. Would you please explore this adage.

Reply from Quote Investigator: Here is a family of closely related statements with dates:

1954 Oct: The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.
1954 Nov: The time to relax is when you’re too busy to relax.
1960 Nov: The best time to relax is when you are the busiest.
1968: The best time to relax is when you don’t have time to relax.
1973 Jan: The best time to relax is when you don’t have the time.

The earliest match located by QI appeared in the syndicated newspaper column of Sydney J. Harris in October 1954. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it; when you get the time, you are generally too exhausted to enjoy it. The way to relax (I have found, at least) is to spread it out during the week, so that the tensions don’t snap into listless apathy at the weekend.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.