The Main Thing Is Honesty. If You Can Fake That, You’ve Got It Made

Groucho Marx? George Burns? Jean Giraudoux? Celeste Holm? Ed Nelson? Samuel Goldwyn? Daniel Schorr? Joe Franklin? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The funniest advice I was ever given as a sales associate was from another seasoned employee: The most important thing is honesty. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made. Later, I read or …

Quiz Question: Who Is Buried in Grant’s Tomb? Answer: Grant!

Groucho Marx? Ed Wynn? Jimtown Weekly? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Groucho Marx was the host of a quiz show called “You Bet Your Life” during the 1940s and 50s. Sometimes when a contestant did poorly Groucho would ask an easy question so that the person could win a prize or some money. For example: Who …

A Day Without Laughter is a Day Wasted

Charlie Chaplin? Steve Martin? Groucho Marx? Nicolas Chamfort? Dear Quote Investigator: The following guideline for living makes sense to me, so I try to find humor in something every day: A day without laughter is a day wasted When I read this maxim originally it was credited to Charlie Chaplin, but I once heard it …

Theatrical Review: I Saw It Under Adverse Conditions. The Curtain Was Up

Groucho Marx? Walter Winchell? George S. Kaufman? George Jean Nathan? Dear Quote Investigator: When a friend asked me my opinion of a terrible play that I saw recently I answered: I did not like it, but perhaps this judgment is unfair. I saw it under adverse conditions — the curtain was up. Eventually she coaxed …

Outside of a Dog, a Book is Man’s Best Friend. Inside of a Dog, It’s Too Dark to Read

Groucho Marx? Ted Atkinson? Jimmy Husson? Jim Brewer ? Mary Stuart? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: You have researched some quotes credited to Groucho Marx, so I am hoping that you will be able to look into a saying that interests me. I work in a library and have long enjoyed the following quip: Outside of …

These Are My Principles. If You Don’t Like Them I Have Others

Groucho Marx? American Legislator? Anonymous? Dear Quotation Investigator: My favorite quip attributed to Groucho Marx is perfect for describing some politicians: These are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others. Was Groucho impersonating a politician when he said this? Quote Investigator: It is not clear whether Groucho did employ this joke.  But …

Quote Origin: Time Flies Like an Arrow; Fruit Flies Like a Banana

Groucho Marx? Anthony Oettinger? Susumu Kuno? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: The simile “Time flies like an arrow” compares the rapidity of the passage of time to the quickness of a darting arrow. However, there exist alternative interpretations of the phrase. Here are two possibilities: (1) A particular type of flies called “time flies” are …