Tracing Quotations
Mark Twain? William Morris? Edward Dicey? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Skeptics have questioned the economic viability of small isolated or insular communities by derisively envisioning rudimentary economies based on simple tasks, e.g., individuals would wash clothes for one another. This notion has been credited to humorist Mark Twain and socialist activist William Morris. In modern …
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Mark Twain? Thomas Jefferson? Voltaire? Edward Young? George Bernard Shaw? Laird MacKenzie? Elsie McCormick? Bertrand Russell? Kurt Vonnegut? Apocryphal? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Several thinkers have offered an anguished explanation for the dangerously disordered state of the world. Here are four versions: This world is the lunatic asylum for other planets. Earth is a madhouse …
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Mark Twain? Groucho Marx? Wilson Mizner? Sydney J. Harris? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: A funny man once said that he was embarrassed to discover that his behavior had always been scandalous; he had been born in bed with a lady. This line has been connected to Mark Twain, Groucho Marx, and Wilson Mizner. Would you …
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Mark Twain? Dick Nolan? Ad Schuster? Betty Carpenter? Bumper Sticker? Jake Ford? Bill Quraishi? John Wallner? Robin Williams? Barry Levinson? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The number of sayings spuriously ascribed to Mark Twain seems to grow every year. Here are two versions of a remark credited to the famous son of Hannibal, Missouri: Politicians and …
Continue reading “Politicians Are Like Diapers. They Should Be Changed Regularly”
Mark Twain? Lyman Beecher Stowe? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The following eccentric dietary advice has been attributed to the famous humorist Mark Twain: Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. I question whether Twain said this because no one provides …
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Mark Twain? Elbert Hubbard? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Mark Twain followed two thoughtful guidelines regarding smoking: Never smoke more than one cigar at a time. Never smoke while sleeping. Would you please determine when he enunciated these rules? Quote Investigator: In 1905 Mark Twain celebrated his seventieth birthday at the popular New York restaurant Delmonico’s. …
Continue reading “I Have Made It a Rule Never To Smoke More Than One Cigar at a Time”
Creator: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens), famous humorist Context: Understanding the humor in the following passage requires familiarity with the cherry tree legend. A young Washington received a hatchet as a gift and impetuously chopped down a cherry tree owned by his father. When the future president was confronted he said “I cannot tell a lie. …
Roger Branigin? Mark Twain? Charles Brownson? Irving Leibowitz? William I. Greener Jr.? H. L. Mencken? Benjamin Franklin? Dear Quote Investigator: If a newspaper editor or publisher dislikes a viewpoint you are advocating then you may have to endure a long series of negative articles. The following three statements express this notion: Never argue with a …
Continue reading “I Never Argue with a Man Who Buys Ink by the Barrel”
Mark Twain? Agatha Christie? Sally Berger? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: To overcome procrastination one must initiate a task. Although this is straightforward advice it is an arcane approach according to the following adage: The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The famed humorist Mark Twain and the popular mystery writer Agatha Christie have both …
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Mark Twain? Albert Bigelow Paine? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: There are a set of statements attributed to the famous humorist Mark Twain about allowable behaviors in heaven: If I cannot swear in heaven I shall not stay there. If I cannot drink bourbon in heaven, then I shall not go. If I can’t smoke cigars …
Continue reading “If I Cannot Swear in Heaven I Shall Not Stay There”